Couldn't be happier to be fired from the wedding party!

APDSS22 · November 2013

Wow she sounds like a real peach. If someone asked me to be in the bridal party then sent a list the next day I think I'd be freaked out from that point on...If you go to this wedding, you must tell us how this Bridezilla train derailment led to the massacre of an entire village of hope and decency.

afox007 · November 2013

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

Wow she sounds like a real peach. If someone asked me to be in the bridal party then sent a list the next day I think I'd be freaked out from that point on...If you go to this wedding, you must tell us how this Bridezilla train derailment led to the massacre of an entire village of hope and decency.

Sadly it isn't until next summer, but if she so graciously allows me to attend her special day I will make sure to share all the horrific details! I'm considering bringing popcorn...it always makes a show so much better.

kitty8403 · November 2013

thisismynickname said:

afox007 said:

She is 24 going on 12.

This is an observation and not a judgement, but it does seem the younger brides can be more intent on the "traditional" look of a wedding party and, because they haven't been to as many weddings and only see movies like "Bridesmaids" they might have not-as-reasonable expectations. I'm just 30, but all the early-20's weddings I went to were matchy-matchy with 'maids as actual "maids"... and as the years go by, we all realize how much we actually just don't care about stuff like that. Plus, with more financial independence and experience comes more ability to take charge and get stuff done on one's own. When you're always a bridesmaid and never a bride, you know what to do and what not to do when it's your turn based on how you felt in everyone else's (matching) shoes. Definitely not every young bride falls into this camp, I know, but if a bridezilla does exist, it just seems like she's often younger. My two cents.

I think you also have young brides who are being advised by parents or relatives who have a lot of ideas that are 20-30 years out of date. I remember being very startled by the idea of having married women as bridesmaids--if you had a married woman, then she was supposed to be the matron of honor, everyone else should be single. And uneven sides were a faux pas, and all dresses had to be the same dye lot. . . But it seems that a lot of weird old rules like this don't matter so much now.

mblake525 · November 2013

kitty8403 said:

afox007 said:

She is 24 going on 12.

This is an observation and not a judgement, but it does seem the younger brides can be more intent on the "traditional" look of a wedding party and, because they haven't been to as many weddings and only see movies like "Bridesmaids" they might have not-as-reasonable expectations. I'm just 30, but all the early-20's weddings I went to were matchy-matchy with 'maids as actual "maids"... and as the years go by, we all realize how much we actually just don't care about stuff like that. Plus, with more financial independence and experience comes more ability to take charge and get stuff done on one's own. When you're always a bridesmaid and never a bride, you know what to do and what not to do when it's your turn based on how you felt in everyone else's (matching) shoes. Definitely not every young bride falls into this camp, I know, but if a bridezilla does exist, it just seems like she's often younger. My two cents.
I think you also have young brides who are being advised by parents or relatives who have a lot of ideas that are 20-30 years out of date. I remember being very startled by the idea of having married women as bridesmaids--if you had a married woman, then she was supposed to be the matron of honor, everyone else should be single. And uneven sides were a faux pas, and all dresses had to be the same dye lot. . . But it seems that a lot of weird old rules like this don't matter so much now.

As a younger (23) bride, I think you're correct. Personally, I don't understand the "you must match and be my bitch" attitude that many younger girls have. However, my MOH tends to fall into that camp. She is 19 and dear lord, she is a handful. She is getting married summer of 2015, and dear lord she picked out these perfectly matching dresses and insist that the other bridesmaids and I must have perfectly matching shoes. It is going to be a LONG year and a half.

Back to the original topic, why would she think that she gets to turn into Mussolini just because she has a ring on her finger. Oh yeah, because she is "so special"... *eye roll*

CaraMia886 · December 2013

Congrats! :-)

BlueBirdMB · December 2013

I'm assuming she wasn't like this before the wedding planning or you wouldn't be friends with her. Why do women go bananas over their weddings??? Seriously.

One of my good friends just called to vent. She's a MOH in her friend's wedding and the girl is all over the place crazy. I suggested that she tell the girl to ask questions on TK boards...

BlueBirdMB · December 2013

kitty8403 said:

afox007 said:

She is 24 going on 12.

This is an observation and not a judgement, but it does seem the younger brides can be more intent on the "traditional" look of a wedding party and, because they haven't been to as many weddings and only see movies like "Bridesmaids" they might have not-as-reasonable expectations. I'm just 30, but all the early-20's weddings I went to were matchy-matchy with 'maids as actual "maids"... and as the years go by, we all realize how much we actually just don't care about stuff like that. Plus, with more financial independence and experience comes more ability to take charge and get stuff done on one's own. When you're always a bridesmaid and never a bride, you know what to do and what not to do when it's your turn based on how you felt in everyone else's (matching) shoes. Definitely not every young bride falls into this camp, I know, but if a bridezilla does exist, it just seems like she's often younger. My two cents.
I think you also have young brides who are being advised by parents or relatives who have a lot of ideas that are 20-30 years out of date. I remember being very startled by the idea of having married women as bridesmaids--if you had a married woman, then she was supposed to be the matron of honor, everyone else should be single. And uneven sides were a faux pas, and all dresses had to be the same dye lot. . . But it seems that a lot of weird old rules like this don't matter so much now.

I was a 24 year old bride who was the exact opposite of this nightmare (if I do say so myself), but I'd agree with the observation as a whole. They just don't know better. My mother taught me better.

And those "old rules" were never "rules". The only "rules" have to do with being polite- the others are silly traditions.

SP29 · December 2013

WOW. Glad you dodged a bulletin there! Don't know if I could be friends with this person anymore. She sounds just crazy! Of course if you do go to the wedding, tell us all about it

.

I do agree that a lot of young brides tend to get caught up in "tradition" and in particular what they see on TV. Look at how many wedding shows there are theses days featuring brides shelling out 5K on a dress, competing for a honeymoon, expecting a "fairy godmother" to help plan their wedding because they are 7 days out with nothing done, etc, etc!

I do agree though that there are a lot of ideas from older generations that people believe are traditions. At first my mom was aghast that my bridesmaids weren't wearing the same dress. When I told my dad were weren't doing a head table where the WP's guests sit elsewhere (we want to keep couples together), he told me all about how the WP always sits up at the head table without their SO. My grandma wanted to throw me a cash/gift card shower! (That did NOT happen).

Not just the young people with bad ideas, but I do think the young brides feel like they have to show off and turn their wedding into a spectacle, as well as conform to ideas because they are "tradition".

Weesh · December 2013

SP29 said:

WOW. Glad you dodged a bulletin there! Don't know if I could be friends with this person anymore. She sounds just crazy! Of course if you do go to the wedding, tell us all about it .

I do agree that a lot of young brides tend to get caught up in "tradition" and in particular what they see on TV. Look at how many wedding shows there are theses days featuring brides shelling out 5K on a dress, competing for a honeymoon, expecting a "fairy godmother" to help plan their wedding because they are 7 days out with nothing done, etc, etc!

I do agree though that there are a lot of ideas from older generations that people believe are traditions. At first my mom was aghast that my bridesmaids weren't wearing the same dress. When I told my dad were weren't doing a head table where the WP's guests sit elsewhere (we want to keep couples together), he told me all about how the WP always sits up at the head table without their SO. My grandma wanted to throw me a cash/gift card shower! (That did NOT happen).

Not just the young people with bad ideas, but I do think the young brides feel like they have to show off and turn their wedding into a spectacle, as well as conform to ideas because they are "tradition".

@SP29, You make an interesting point. While the bride should/does/will make her own choices, there are also people around her that she has to choose whether to allow them to influence her decisions. Reminds me a little bit of teaching---everyone's been a student at some point in their life, so they think they are an expert when it comes to something school related. This is coming from the perspective of a teacher--sometimes (not always) there are a lot of people who like to tell me how to do my job. With weddings, there is usually someone who has been to or been a part of a wedding. In turn, they base their knowledge on things they've seen or become accustomed to.

Weddings have also turned into a reflection of our society--those shows have people who watch them and abide by those "rules". MOB, MOG's, grandparents, and other people who are close to the bride may have feelings about what they "should" do, instead of thinking rationally and realizing that what "should" be done is what the bride and groom want, while taking into account the comfort of the guests they are hosting, however they are hosted. I'd never invite someone into my house telling them to bring a gift, asking them to pay for food, or not offering them a place to sit. I'd never tell my friends to buy me presents, throw events for me, or to help me pay for my house. Being a bride and having a wedding doesn't change that.

I wish more people would feel confident standing up for themselves and how they feel instead of doing things because they should.

afox007 · December 2013

Karma is a bitch and I love her! The wedding from hell is being postponed...I was on FB this morning and Bridezilla's mom pulled the plug on paying for the wedding so she is doing what any reasonable person would do FINALLY moving out as punishment. Apparently MOB was starting to feel just as used as I was and decided there was no reason to contribute anymore.

Inkdancer · December 2013

afox007 said:

Karma is a bitch and I love her! The wedding from hell is being postponed...I was on FB this morning and Bridezilla's mom pulled the plug on paying for the wedding so she is doing what any reasonable person would do FINALLY moving out as punishment. Apparently MOB was starting to feel just as used as I was and decided there was no reason to contribute anymore.

Good. Hopefully she will learn from this, grow up a bit, and then get married as a more mature, prepared person.

JCbride2015 · December 2013

afox007 said:

Karma is a bitch and I love her! The wedding from hell is being postponed...I was on FB this morning and Bridezilla's mom pulled the plug on paying for the wedding so she is doing what any reasonable person would do FINALLY moving out as punishment. Apparently MOB was starting to feel just as used as I was and decided there was no reason to contribute anymore.

Good! And for some reason, why am I not surprised that this bride was still living with her mom at age 24?

Inkdancer · December 2013

afox007 said:

Karma is a bitch and I love her! The wedding from hell is being postponed...I was on FB this morning and Bridezilla's mom pulled the plug on paying for the wedding so she is doing what any reasonable person would do FINALLY moving out as punishment. Apparently MOB was starting to feel just as used as I was and decided there was no reason to contribute anymore.

Good! And for some reason, why am I not surprised that this bride was still living with her mom at age 24?

I lived with my mom until last year, but I paid for all my own stuff otherwise. (Hooray for internships that pay too little to live on.) At 25, I'm still a pretty young bride, but I know better than to act like this!

JCbride2015 · December 2013

Yeah @Inkdancer, I guess let me qualify my statement a little. No judgment on those who live with their parents, especially if you are doing something worthwhile like an internship or grad school, and parents are nice enough to help you cut expenses. I'm 26 and got my own apartment right after college at age 21, but I was working full-time as a high school teacher, so I had the means to do it. Fi lived with his parents until he was 23, because he couldn't afford rent on his own. He paid for all his other expenses, including contributing groceries to the house, and was thankful his parents helped him out. I'm also close in age to where a lot of my friends live at home or have a lot of assistance from parents, and some people handle it graciously, while others don't.

But I do think there's some correlation between spoiled bride/general behavior, and people who have way too much involvement from their parents. It's not the rule for every person, but I definitely have friends whose parents really baby them in their twenties while living at home. Or for that matter, friends who don't live at home, but Mom and Dad are paying their expensive NYC rent and bringing groceries to your door. If your parents are spoiling you at home, you might expect your friends to spoil you for your wedding. I suspect that this bride, who expects everyone to bend over backwards for her, is probably getting this kind of treatment from somewhere (either parents or Fi or both).

Inkdancer · December 2013

@JCBride2014

Preach it, sister! Spoiled brats are spoiled brats, no matter their age or income.

Amyzen83 · December 2013

JCBride2014 said:

afox007 said:

Karma is a bitch and I love her! The wedding from hell is being postponed...I was on FB this morning and Bridezilla's mom pulled the plug on paying for the wedding so she is doing what any reasonable person would do FINALLY moving out as punishment. Apparently MOB was starting to feel just as used as I was and decided there was no reason to contribute anymore.

Good! And for some reason, why am I not surprised that this bride was still living with her mom at age 24?

Erm, where I live in CA is hella expensive and most of the jobs in my field are contract jobs. I didn't feel financially stable enough to move out until the age of 28 with my FI. However when I lived with my folks, I paid for all of my own stuff. Because I waited, I was able to save a significant amount of $$ for my wedding and life.

JCbride2015 · December 2013

Amyzen83 said:

JCBride2014 said:

afox007 said:

Karma is a bitch and I love her! The wedding from hell is being postponed...I was on FB this morning and Bridezilla's mom pulled the plug on paying for the wedding so she is doing what any reasonable person would do FINALLY moving out as punishment. Apparently MOB was starting to feel just as used as I was and decided there was no reason to contribute anymore.

Good! And for some reason, why am I not surprised that this bride was still living with her mom at age 24?

Erm, where I live in CA is hella expensive and most of the jobs in my field are contract jobs. I didn't feel financially stable enough to move out until the age of 28 with my FI. However when I lived with my folks, I paid for all of my own stuff. Because I waited, I was able to save a significant amount of $$ for my wedding and life.

Erm, I live in the NYC area. Things are expensive here too. See above for discussion in which Inkdancer and I add some nuance to that original statement instead of jumping all over me, please. I recognize there are lots of nice, well-adjusted people who live with their parents and are thankful for that gift. OP's bridezilla friend doesn't sound like one of them.

ETA: forgot to quote.

kerbohl · December 2013

SP29 said:

WOW. Glad you dodged a bulletin there! Don't know if I could be friends with this person anymore. She sounds just crazy! Of course if you do go to the wedding, tell us all about it .

I do agree that a lot of young brides tend to get caught up in "tradition" and in particular what they see on TV. Look at how many wedding shows there are theses days featuring brides shelling out 5K on a dress, competing for a honeymoon, expecting a "fairy godmother" to help plan their wedding because they are 7 days out with nothing done, etc, etc!

I do agree though that there are a lot of ideas from older generations that people believe are traditions. At first my mom was aghast that my bridesmaids weren't wearing the same dress. When I told my dad were weren't doing a head table where the WP's guests sit elsewhere (we want to keep couples together), he told me all about how the WP always sits up at the head table without their SO. My grandma wanted to throw me a cash/gift card shower! (That did NOT happen).

Not just the young people with bad ideas, but I do think the young brides feel like they have to show off and turn their wedding into a spectacle, as well as conform to ideas because they are "tradition".

I actually do wish these "fairy godmothers" of wedding planning existed. Like on Cinderella - wave your wand and turn some mice and a pumpkin into a sweet ride, and some wedding stress is alleviated right there!

I am not a young bride per se (I'm 27 - I still consider that young myself), but I do watch the wedding shows on TV for ideas. However, I'm smart enough to also watch them for what not to do. The PPD's in my opinion make no sense to me, and I get annoyed every time Four Weddings has one on.

I cannot imagine treating my bridesmaids the way that this bride was treating you, OP. Whatever happened to common sense? As in, not treating your best friends like slaves? I didn't even take up my BMs when they asked to help with the wedding because I know that they are busy - it was a kind offer, but half of wedding stuff makes me almost lose my mind. I would never wish that on someone else.

hlvonb · December 2013

@afox007

I am 25 and will be when I get married and I want to slap some sense into this girl. You dodged a major bullet here and have more patience than I do. I would have stepped out myself but either way you got out before things got worse and trust me they would have.

Couldn't be happier to be fired from the wedding party!

Re: Couldn't be happier to be fired from the wedding party!

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