Alright, so here's a dilemma I've been battling for 4 and a half years now.
My boyfriend and I have been together for that long, at the start of the relationship, I was moved in with him and his mother. Here is where I learned of her ugliness. She lies and manipulates to get her way, even with her own family. We found evidence of her stealing her other sons ssn to open credit cards, etc, etc. She has always been saying rude things about me to other people, we've seen her emails that have been forwarded to us through other people. The WORST case of this was getting emails from his best friends wife. My boyfriend was the best man, and unfortunately I could not make the wedding due to them getting married on an important day for my work place ( april 19th, customer appreciation day at subway, remember that! lol)
Anyway, I guess when my boyfriends mother, Sue, found out, she was VERY happy. So happy, she sent emails back and forth with the bride to be asking her to try to set him up with one of the other bridesmaids, or something. "ANYONE is better than her!" she said. Like, Sue has never liked me, always talking about me behind my back, quite loudly, on the phone (lol, I can hear you geeze >_<). And I think I know why....whenever she would come home, she would always, like CLOCKWORK, yell for my boyfriend to do some form of labor, somewhere, somehow. I told him that's not normal, it's demanding, and he caught on, and started to tell her off a bit about it. You know, like: "Mom, I'm busy, I'll do it later." or "can't you do it yourself?" I think she was po'd that I'm taking away her slave.
So that was his mom, now let's tell you about his dad, Tom. Sue and Tom are divorced. So Tom is a manic depressive, bipolar mess. I'm sorry, but he is. So a while ago, he told us that we could stay in his house and have it signed into TJ's name since he's going to get gov't assisted housing, he doesn't work. Three months later now, he's still here. So my damage is, we now pay for everything, house insurance, water, taxes, electric, cable, tv, internet, our car insurance, our cell phones, our credit cards, we even pay for HIS health insurance. Everything, he pays for nothing. He TOLD us he would let us use some of his food stamps for repayment, never happened. He disappears for weeks with different "girlfriends" and comes back, goes into his room, says nothing to us, and uses our stuff. Watches TV, uses the internet, etc etc, etc. He's using us, but my boyfriend doesn't see this, all he sees is that it took away our rent. What I see is connecting to a story he gave us shortly before. He told us that his current live in girlfriend wanted to foster a child, and he wasn't flying with that, so he kicked her out. So who was paying for all these amenities? No one, he doesn't pay for anything! So, with no one to pay for his crap, he invited us in, now we're doing it, he gets a free ride. That's what I see.
Now that youv'e got the two parents, there is his brother. His mother, Sue, had my boyfriend with some other guy, a love child. The other son, sean was through the above mentioned father, sean is blood, that's what I think this is. So I have Sean on my facebook account, and all the time I see my boyfriends dad spamming him w/ messages, but never anything on my boyfriends account, as well as sean's girlfriends account. What you need to remember here is that me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 5 years now, these two have been together, just over a year, and I see comments like this about their anniversary from the dad: "
The only thing missing is white dress, tux and two gold bands." and "Sean
is the best son ever,and Marisa is the best girlfriend ever,and they
are the best couple ever, that is the best Christmas Decorations ever,
that is the best looking house ever, and may you both have the best
live together forever." Like you have another son, you know?
Not EVER has he EVER praised either me OR my boyfriend. You know, the son he's is getting EVERYTHING from. What the..? and the mother also spams how she wants them to get married all the time as well. The two of them are like obsessed with Sean and his girlfriend of one year, yet they ignore their eldest son and his girlfriend of over four years now, take our money, and treat me like junk.
So there's the whole she-bang! So MY issue is....I have no desire, because of the mistreatment from the two of them, to invite them to our wedding. I feel like neither of the two have ever been supportive of the two of us, since they have no issue showing support for the other son, obviously they have a problem with it. Why should I have them there? They'll only make me angry. Whenever I look at them, I get angry, knowing they're saying horrid things about me in their heads, probably wishing for a break up, and at the wedding, a divorce! Why would I want that negativity? But my boyfriend just doesn't see any of this! I mean he doesn't care for his mother very much, but is still nice to her face, of course, but he like LOVES his dad, and every time I say you know, he ignores you, he says no, he doesn't! But I say why then does he have pictures of sean all over his bedroom, none of you? Why does he never say anything to us on any of our previous 4 anniversaries, but has jumped all over their first year? He brushes it off, like it's okay. It's not okay to me. We pay for all your stuff, your health insurance, etc etc, and you can't even wish us happy anniversary, or anything? I DON'T WANT THEM THERE.
But I know my boyfriend will want to, just to have them happy. How, knowing all of this, going through all of this, can I put up with that? Please, please help. 