Relationship Timelines...spinoff

Pepperally · December 2013

My dog knows when we are about to begin, and she makes a run for under the bed. She knows when we're done and comes out from under the bed...looking at me like, "well, how was it? can you pet me now?"

CrazyCatLady3 · December 2013

Speaking of pooping at other people's places, have you gals seen this:

http://www.poopourri.com/

You have to play the video.

audrewuh · December 2013

@foxandbunny that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about. Our dogs are bad about it too, especially our new Boston.

We locked them out of the bedroom the last time and he started headbutting the door, trying to get in. I lost my shit. H just rolled his eyes until he headbutted the door again. Then H lost it too.

FoxandBunny · December 2013

audrewuh - That is hilarious. I can just imagine a Boston headbutting the door until he was let in.

smalfrie19- They are, aren't they?

I also just remembered the time where the cat tried to pull the covers off of us during sex. She was literally pulling them off of us. It was so annoying.

audrewuh · December 2013

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Speaking of pooping at other people's places, have you gals seen this:

http://www.poopourri.com/

You have to play the video.

My MIL's BFF gave her some of that. I always giggle when I see it in the bathroom at their house.

tuarceatha · December 2013

haha This is a hilarious spin off.

I'm one of you guys that hides/holds/ and even still denies farting in front of H. I close the door when peeing and DON'T F'ING talk to me if the door is shut, locked and the fan is on.

I don't think H has ever farted in front of me. It has been like 5 years, with 3 years living together. I don't hold the same record. We just never talk about it. Never.

I mean we'll talk about other people farting, or laugh at farting jokes.

I just don't want that with him. I'll hold on to that for as long as I can.

I threw up wine in his old car. More so on the open car door. But that sucked.

ashleyosheab · December 2013

The first embarrassing experience I had with my boyfriend happened when we had been dating for around 1 month. It was during winter break, just after christmas and I was going to stay with the BF for a couple of days before I left for a study abroad trip. I expected to start my period while on the trip so I loaded the whole front pocket of my suitcase with pads and tampons. Well, lo and behold I started while staying at his house. I forgot to zip the pocket up before opening my suitcase,so when I went to close it pads spilled out everywhere. I got really embarrassed and BF just looked at me and said, "wow....you sure have alot of those" and I chuckled awkwardly with "Yeah, I like to be prepared...." I wanted the earth to swallow me up lol.

I think the first time Aaron farted in front of me was somewhere around the 1 year mark. I tickled him and he laughed so hard that he farted, which just made us laugh harder. Apparently the last time I stayed the night at the BF's house, I moved in my sleep. BF was awake and thought I was waking up so when I farted loudly in my sleep he laughed and said "nice". And then made sure to tell me all about it and how hilarious it was once I woke up. >.<

Swazzle · December 2013

While we're on this subject, I encourage everyone to read this if you haven't already:

http://hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny

For the record, I was literally laughing out loud with tears streaming down my face the first time I read it.

ETA: .........and again right now.

ashleyosheab · December 2013

@Swazzle oh dear god I think I just peed a little

KeptInStitches · December 2013

I had really bad migraines back when we started dating, and they'll still flare up every now and then. Needless to say, if he hadn't been comfortable with me vomiting, we wouldn't still be together. (Can't hold down medication during them, and the best cure for me is to just get the vomiting over with and get some sleep. Sucks but it works.)

Swazzle · December 2013

@TwoDimes & @ashleyosheab - After I posted it last night, I read it again and H was next to me going "WHY ARE YOU CRYING"

Dignity100 · December 2013

FI has never been shy about farting in front of me. For me the first time was in the first month we were dating. I was holding it in, we were making out on the couch and he laid on me and I couldn't hold it in any longer - I was so embarrassed, then he became a tooting machine when we weren't in public. . . so I guess it worked out for him. Everybody farts.

When I had my one dog - I couldn't even blame it on her because she always gave herself away. She'd fart give a look like 'what's that awful smell' then sniff her butt then give a look like 'oooh it was me' and carry on.

beanbot2002 · December 2013

How have some of you NEVER farted in front of your BF/FI/H???? I seriously cannot understand this. As Shrek says, "Better out than in!" EVERYBODY farts. HE FARTS. YOU FART. ENJOY FARTING TOGETHER!

Hummingbird125 · December 2013

I can't believe I missed this thread yesterday - this has been GREAT reading with my morning coffee.

So, to be honest, I can't even remember a specific time when BF has farted in front of me. I'm sure he's done it once or twice that I've heard, but it's like SUPER rare. I actually wish he would fart in front of me more often because it would make me more comfortable doing it.

The second time we went out, we met up with mutual friends at a bar. They had to get back to Long Island, and when they left they gave us a practically-full pitcher of beer. Of course, I was determined to finish the pitcher, and got way too drunk. We took a cab back to my place, and I laid down in the cab with my head on BF's lap - remember, this is only our second "date". I was half-passed-out, and let out a pretty loud fart. I was MORTIFIED. I just pretended to be sleeping. When we got to my place I stumbled out of the cab and sat down on the freaking sidewalk while BF paid.

I also woke myself up with a few farts the first few times I stayed at his place, and became so scared of farting in front of him that I tried to keep myself awake all night a few times, it was ridiculous.

Now, I still try not to fart in front of him, but it happens pretty often, and he just completely ignores it - which is one of the reasons I love him!

As far as other bodily functions go, we pee in front of each other without a problem. We've both puked in front of each other. BF announces when he has to poop and makes a big production out of it (does everyone's guy take like 20-30 minutes to poop???) - he brings a tray and laptop into there with him so he can work while he does it, lights candles afterwards, etc. I am a lot more subtle with my poops, so he doesn't know when I've done it, unless I clog the toilet and need help, which has happened more than once.

ShallowSeas · December 2013

Hummingbird125 said:

I can't believe I missed this thread yesterday - this has been GREAT reading with my morning coffee.

So, to be honest, I can't even remember a specific time when BF has farted in front of me. I'm sure he's done it once or twice that I've heard, but it's like SUPER rare. I actually wish he would fart in front of me more often because it would make me more comfortable doing it.

The second time we went out, we met up with mutual friends at a bar. They had to get back to Long Island, and when they left they gave us a practically-full pitcher of beer. Of course, I was determined to finish the pitcher, and got way too drunk. We took a cab back to my place, and I laid down in the cab with my head on BF's lap - remember, this is only our second "date". I was half-passed-out, and let out a pretty loud fart. I was MORTIFIED. I just pretended to be sleeping. When we got to my place I stumbled out of the cab and sat down on the freaking sidewalk while BF paid.

I also woke myself up with a few farts the first few times I stayed at his place, and became so scared of farting in front of him that I tried to keep myself awake all night a few times, it was ridiculous.

Now, I still try not to fart in front of him, but it happens pretty often, and he just completely ignores it - which is one of the reasons I love him!

As far as other bodily functions go, we pee in front of each other without a problem. We've both puked in front of each other. BF announces when he has to poop and makes a big production out of it (does everyone's guy take like 20-30 minutes to poop???) - he brings a tray and laptop into there with him so he can work while he does it, lights candles afterwards, etc. I am a lot more subtle with my poops, so he doesn't know when I've done it, unless I clog the toilet and need help, which has happened more than once.

@Hummingbird25 YES! must be a guy thing.

beanbot2002 · December 2013

@swazzle...that's one of my favorite stories of all time.

For me, el Senor has been exposed to my flatulence since we were kids. We've been BFFs for going on 20 years now, so back then, I didn't give a shit (literally) if he heard me fart, smelled my shit, etc. So, it was fairly easy once we started dating. I just kept things going the way they'd always been. We shit in front of each other, fart on each other, he's pissed the bed after a particularly drunken night before. The list goes on and on.

My favorite fart story, though, is the first time I farted during sex...not JUST sex, but just as I was climaxing, There was no controlling it. It was loud, proud, and stinky. We both laughed so hard that we were in tears. Then we finished. Now, I just warn him and we change positions.

GoldenPenguin · December 2013

Going on the animals on the bed during sex - right after I moved in with BF, the cat was having a hard time adjusting. He would hide under the bed all day and then cause an absolute RUCKUS at night. So, we're getting our swerve on one night, and Brady jumps ON MY HEAD. I pushed him off, and he just sat on the pillow and meowed at us.

Violet gets very embarrassed and leaves the room. She's a very proper lady.

Dignity100 · December 2013

@Hummingbird25 - FI takes FOREVER in the bathroom - it's gotten to the point if we need to leave in like 20-30 minutes I put a 'no electronics in the bathroom' rule in place!! FI's family still talks about a time when he was younger (teens) and he made the family leave 1+hrs after they wanted to leave for a family vacation because he wanted to pooh before leaving!

blabla89 · December 2013

@KeptInStitches that sucks, I'm sorry. Migraines don't make me vom but they really affect my vision, so much that I can't drive home when I have one. So C has gotten used to me laying on his couch and demanding that he turn off the lights and be quiet.

Swazzle · December 2013

@Hummingbird25 - YES. H takes for-ev-er to take a shit. I'm in and out. I have no idea wtf he does in there the whole time. Like if you have to go, doesn't it just come out? Doesn't the hard toilet seat start to hurt your ass? Don't you get bored of sitting in a bathroom alone? Doesn't it smell in there?!

buddysmom80 · December 2013

Oh speaking of clogging toilets...

When I first bought my house I was soooooo Martha Stewart. Everything was so perfect (unlike now) so I didn't want the ugly plunger in the bathroom, and decided it belonged in the garage. That's detached from our house. Fast-forwards to this time of year and guess who clogs the toilet? Moi. I ask BF to get the plunger he goes "isn't it the bathroom?" I go "No." He asks me where it is, I tell him it's in the garage and I get: "who the hell puts the fucking plunger in the garage???" he goes out in a wife beater, shorts and timberland boots to get the plunger. Lesson learned.

GoldenPenguin · December 2013

BF gets up really early in the morning to poop. It's so weird. Like, 530-6am, when he knows I'm still sleeping - he goes in for a poop, and then comes back to bed. Sometimes I think he just falls asleep in there.

I'm like a speed pooper.

QuiltingNurse · December 2013

He was farting in front of me sinc day 1. It took me a little longer, but not long at all. I got a stomach virus about 3 months into our relationship and after that I had no shame, he heard everything. He always tries to get me to describe the smell of his worst farts, he's so proud of them. We don't close the door to pee, but we do to poop, I won't let him leave the door open then.

I can't believe people don't fart around their SO, don't you get a horrible stomach ache if you hold it in?

suzie211 · December 2013

Pretty sure we've both been letting them rip from pretty early on in the relationship. We'll let the other person if it's a sneaky smelly one. I've had GI issues for years, so loving me comes along with some stinky farts.

We routinely pee in front of each other, but I draw the line for anything else. H was pretty lax about peeing in front of me early on. I wanted some mystery still and refused for months. We were up at a friends cabin two summers ago and I went to use the bathroom. The door didn't lock, and H busted in. I freaked, and he just looked at me and said, "Eh, we're at that point in our relationship. It's cool." He told me he loved me for the first time a couple hours later. Romantic.

On a trip to Mexico last year, I wasn't as careful about not eating gluten. After a couple days of this, my stomach wasn't having it. We had one of the open concept rooms, and there was no way I could use any other bathroom. H heard everything. You know it's love when they can hear you crap your brains out, and they still want to be around you.

SarahA519 · December 2013

This thread is hilarious! It's nice to see all the different levels in different relationships.

When we first started dating, he did not fart in front of me and I was super shy about pooping at his apartment. Now he farts ALL THE TIME. So loud, so gross. It's part of our daily landscape of life. I do put some anti-gas medicine (we call them beep pills) in a little 7-day AM/PM pill organizer for him to take every day to make it less noxious. I don't fart much, and when I do I refuse to acknowledge it. Mostly to frustrate him.

He has always peed with the door open, and I have (and always will) pee with the door closed. I just like my privacy. He has always been a lot less private than I am. If he got his way, he would be able to come talk to me while I'm peeing, and I just want a minute to think! Whenever I do go to the bathroom and then come back to the room, he'll always ask me how it went in a fake concerned voice. Again, to frustrate him, I just tell him I was in there doing something completely ridiculous (making curtains, putting gas in our car). It's our little routine that makes us laugh.

labro · December 2013

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's SO takes forever in the bathroom. BF usually has to go right when he gets home from work and he'll go in there and spend freaking 30 or 45 minutes in there! I'm like...wtf is taking you so long? I'm in an out. I just don't get it... I'll seriously get like 4 or 5 chores done all while he's in the bathroom.

Hummingbird125 · December 2013

I don't get what takes so long either - when I have to go, I have to go - it's not a process. I'm happy he does announce it though, because then I'll be sure to go pee because I know he'll be in there for a while AND I won't want go in there for a good hour after he leaves.

buddysmom80 · December 2013

My dad used to spend so much time in the shitter he 1) developed hemmeroids so bad he had to get surgery and 2) he had a phone line installed in his bathroom.

Pepperally · December 2013

My BF usually takes a magazine into the shitter. I don't get it. When I go to poop, it's already on deck. Do you really need to go sit on the toilet in order to conjure up a shit? When we first started acknowledging that we just took a shit, he commented on how fast I shit...apparently I impressed him and wowed him with my skills.

FoxandBunny · December 2013

BF and I are the opposite of everyone else apparently. I take forever while he speed poops. I don't know how he does it, but like 2 minutes and he's done and it take me forever.

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