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MOH Can't Host Bridal Shower Anymore Can my Mom do it Instead?

kgd7357kgd7357 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Moms and Maids
My MOH had been planning a bridal shower near NYC for this spring. She already booked a place, and started putting a few things together. It turns out she just got an amazing chance to open an office for her company in Africa and will be gone during the time of the shower (and luckily back for the wedding!). I'm so happy for her, but you can't exactly host a shower if you are in Africa. None of my other BMs live nearby, and I can't exactly ask them to pay for a shower anyway. My MOH said she'd be happy to help plan if someone else can host (she is amazing). My mom offered to host, since she is nearby. I know moms aren't really supposed to host showers b/c it looks gift grabby. Is it okay to accept this offer? Most of the other BMs can come, but probably can't pay for it. My mom also offered to pay if the other BMs just wanted to "host". Is that a better solution? Should I just nix the shower?
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Re: MOH Can't Host Bridal Shower Anymore Can my Mom do it Instead?

  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Family members throw showers a lot nowadays.  I wouldn't side-eye it a bit.
    image
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Technically, mothers and close relatives of the bride and groom aren't supposed to host showers, but I won't side eye it if they do.
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  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    @MairePoppy

    I like the "silent partner" idea. I know at least 3 out of 4 of the other BMs can make it, so that could work well. And luckily my mom knows them really well, so I don't think it would be weird if I just gave her their emails.  

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Enjoy your shower.
                       
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  • jdblnnjdblnn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    Traditionally, MOB's aren't supposed to host the shower, but I doubt many would think twice if she did.  It's a unique situation and you mom should get some credit for her efforts.  It seems silly to me to have your BM's listed as the host when they aren't really hosting.  Moreover, asking your BMs to be the “hosts” but not pay may make them feel a little uncomfortable for one of two reasons – 1) they may feel like they’re supposed to be paying for the shower and are dropping the ball by letting your mom do it, or 2) they may feel that they have to put in the extra effort to plan rather than just attend.  I would say that to keep things easy send out shower invitations without a host listed.  Have your mom plan and pay, as you’ve discussed with her, and have her run the event (give the thank you speech…).  I don’t think anyone will blink an eye!  Whatever you decide, have a great shower!

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  • Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    I hosted my daughter's shower and was thrilled to do it.
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  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Hmm, I've never seen a shower invite without a host listed, but that could work too. I'm definitely feeling better about this.
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  • syoun1njsyoun1nj member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    My mother "hosted" my bridal shower in that it was at her home, but the MOHs and bridesmaids did all the planning, paying, and set up. My mom was the only one with a space big enough and I told my sister that renting a location would be silly.
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think it would be ok to list your mom on the shower invite as the host along with the BMs that want to help out.
    "Hosting" isn't the exact same thing as "paying."

    Assuming the other bridesmaids have offered to help... I see nothing wrong with adding them as the hosts if they do several things like field the RSVPs, greet the guests, plan a schedule, etc. Because all those things are the hosts' jobs too; not just paying.
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2013
    double post.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    In my area the mother of the bride pays and the bridal party does the actual planning, so the Plan B you're describing doesn't raise my eyebrows at all. 

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  • peggerzzpeggerzz member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In a situation like this I don't see a problem at all. I am assuming you will mention the MOH at the shower anyway? Everyone likely knows the story so it makes sense to have another person fill in.
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