Etiquette

Etiquette vent

I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home.

As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
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Re: Etiquette vent

  • afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    I can totally understand people who have a wedding elsewhere and a get together for the people who couldn't make it. But..... the get together in no way should be a wedding or treated like a wedding.

    One of my BFFs, like I have said before on this site, had a PPD. She pretended to everyone that she wasn't married already 2 YEARS to her husband, only wore her engagement ring during the planning of the PPD and they now only celebrate their PPD wedding date as their anniversary.

    She wanted the dress, the party, the money and the gifts. She originally got married at the JOP, with only 2 witnesses and they all had a dinner and a small cake afterwards. She even posted pics on Facebook of that tiny wedding. I couldn't understand why people kept calling her husband her fiancee (the women in her BM pretended she wasn't married!)

    Oh.... you again? @tanlines&;wine
  • I don't see anything wrong with it as long as I knew. I would still attend. That's just me though.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz
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    I think I would not attend if I knew it was a PPD, but I wouldn't get as up in arms about it as if they had lied.  I would just think the whole thing was terribly ridiculous and embarrassing for them, and save my time and money by declining the invitation.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln.
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    I posted on snarky about a ppd i discovered while shopping on black friday. Was in a ladies lingerie store, famous for their angels, and saw a woman teasing her daughter about buying something for her new husband. I congratulated the bride, asked when she got married. MOB jumps in "oh, the REAL wedding was two weeks ago." At my confused expression, MOB said "they got married a year ago in front of a JOP but I don't consider that a REAL WEDDING. THE REAL WEDDING WAS THE OTHER WEEK." Bride has the smarts to look embarrassed. I smiled and said "All weddings are lovely. My parents were married before a JOP." MOB continued droning about her daughter's wedding and mentioned the other daughter getting married in a "REAL WEDDING" soon too. I thought by the end of it, both brides wanted to go through the floor.
    Amyzen83
  • The friend of mine who had a PPD also had not one but 2 bacherlorette parties.

    1 before she got married in front of the JOP and the 2nd, 2 years later before her PPD. 
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    You read that garbage "PPD" faq to a man and a grown woman and you are shocked they laughed?I'm not. I couldn't begin to imagine trying to float half the crap around here past most men or women who have lived a significant amount of their lives already. The older you get the less importance you place on stupidity and more importance on actual happiness. And men, well, they just have a whole different way of thinking about things. If I need a direct opinion on any matter, I consult my FI because he's not going to factor emotions, feelings and touchy feely crap in his answer. Thank god. I, for one, applaud your FI and Grandmother. Good for them!

  • Says the person who doesn't give a rat's ass about her family or friends and is having a PPD.
    And happily so. 

    Strange, my relaxed and rather libertine attitude keeps me from needing to "vent" about stuff that isn't actually my business on internet message boards. I don't feel the need to shake my FI. I will, from time to time, stop by to publicly applaud people's grandparents sage advice and attitudes, in between wedding planning. :-) And a Happy New Year to you, @wrigleyville!

    dongyeongVivandiere8
  • NYCBruin said:
    afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    You read that garbage "PPD" faq to a man and a grown woman and you are shocked they laughed?I'm not. I couldn't begin to imagine trying to float half the crap around here past most men or women who have lived a significant amount of their lives already. The older you get the less importance you place on stupidity and more importance on actual happiness. And men, well, they just have a whole different way of thinking about things. If I need a direct opinion on any matter, I consult my FI because he's not going to factor emotions, feelings and touchy feely crap in his answer. Thank god. I, for one, applaud your FI and Grandmother. Good for them!
    Yes, because men just don't understand that lying is bad.  I was watching a wedding show the other day that was featuring a PPD and FI walked in.  After he was very confused why someone who was already married was having "wedding" I explained to him that some people have PPDs and his response was literally "What the fuck is wrong with people? That makes zero sense.  Why would anyone even attend one of those?"  Then I explained that some people (like yourself) lie to their guests and just tell them its a wedding.  His response "Are you fucking kidding me?  Some people really are just terrible.  I would probably punch the guy in the face if I spent a ton of money to attend their wedding only to find out they didn't actually get married."
    Wow, that's a mighty broad generalization! Men just don't understand lying is bad? How ever do they function in society? 

    You know, I've explained all of this, including wedding related message boards, to my FI, and you know what HE said, "wow, that's all so very fucking stupid." I'm psyched my FI doesn't care about wedding etiquette, what y'all refer to as PPD's, etc. It is extremely helpful when I start caring about certain subjects too much, he quickly reels me in and reminds me what's actually important versus what's not. I'm thankful for him every day. 

    hellohkbpsiloveyouu
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    NYCBruin said:
    afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    You read that garbage "PPD" faq to a man and a grown woman and you are shocked they laughed?I'm not. I couldn't begin to imagine trying to float half the crap around here past most men or women who have lived a significant amount of their lives already. The older you get the less importance you place on stupidity and more importance on actual happiness. And men, well, they just have a whole different way of thinking about things. If I need a direct opinion on any matter, I consult my FI because he's not going to factor emotions, feelings and touchy feely crap in his answer. Thank god. I, for one, applaud your FI and Grandmother. Good for them!
    Yes, because men just don't understand that lying is bad.  I was watching a wedding show the other day that was featuring a PPD and FI walked in.  After he was very confused why someone who was already married was having "wedding" I explained to him that some people have PPDs and his response was literally "What the fuck is wrong with people? That makes zero sense.  Why would anyone even attend one of those?"  Then I explained that some people (like yourself) lie to their guests and just tell them its a wedding.  His response "Are you fucking kidding me?  Some people really are just terrible.  I would probably punch the guy in the face if I spent a ton of money to attend their wedding only to find out they didn't actually get married."
    Wow, that's a mighty broad generalization! Men just don't understand lying is bad? How ever do they function in society? 

    You know, I've explained all of this, including wedding related message boards, to my FI, and you know what HE said, "wow, that's all so very fucking stupid." I'm psyched my FI doesn't care about wedding etiquette, what y'all refer to as PPD's, etc. It is extremely helpful when I start caring about certain subjects too much, he quickly reels me in and reminds me what's actually important versus what's not. I'm thankful for him every day. 
    You and your FI don't have a monopoly on deciding what's really important.  The opinions of the two of you are not sufficient to change a rule of etiquette that's been around for as long as legal and religious wedding ceremonies are not necessarily the same events.
    aurorajanettePrettyGirlLost
  • NYCBruin said:
    afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    You read that garbage "PPD" faq to a man and a grown woman and you are shocked they laughed?I'm not. I couldn't begin to imagine trying to float half the crap around here past most men or women who have lived a significant amount of their lives already. The older you get the less importance you place on stupidity and more importance on actual happiness. And men, well, they just have a whole different way of thinking about things. If I need a direct opinion on any matter, I consult my FI because he's not going to factor emotions, feelings and touchy feely crap in his answer. Thank god. I, for one, applaud your FI and Grandmother. Good for them!
    Yes, because men just don't understand that lying is bad.  I was watching a wedding show the other day that was featuring a PPD and FI walked in.  After he was very confused why someone who was already married was having "wedding" I explained to him that some people have PPDs and his response was literally "What the fuck is wrong with people? That makes zero sense.  Why would anyone even attend one of those?"  Then I explained that some people (like yourself) lie to their guests and just tell them its a wedding.  His response "Are you fucking kidding me?  Some people really are just terrible.  I would probably punch the guy in the face if I spent a ton of money to attend their wedding only to find out they didn't actually get married."
    Wow, that's a mighty broad generalization! Men just don't understand lying is bad? How ever do they function in society? 

    You know, I've explained all of this, including wedding related message boards, to my FI, and you know what HE said, "wow, that's all so very fucking stupid." I'm psyched my FI doesn't care about wedding etiquette, what y'all refer to as PPD's, etc. It is extremely helpful when I start caring about certain subjects too much, he quickly reels me in and reminds me what's actually important versus what's not. I'm thankful for him every day. 
    I was pointing out the absurdity of your generalization about men not caring about etiquette.

    I am extremely thankful that my FI is on the same page as me in terms of not being rude to the people we care about most.  
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    RebeccaB88aurorajanettePrettyGirlLost
  • Lowell14Lowell14
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    edited December 2013
  • Lowell14Lowell14
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    edited December 2013
    BTW, my 89 yr old grandma would think anyone who got married then had a PPD is crazy and rude. She would say you get married once whether it be a courthouse or big fat gypsy wedding. How do you like that grandmotherly sage advice?


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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    Oh. Dear. Lord.  Who pulled STBMrsEverhart out of the muck from under her bridge?  I was very much enjoying the peace and quiet.  Please do not feed this one.
    Lowell14HisGirlFriday13JustNicki
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    Says the person who doesn't give a rat's ass about her family or friends and is having a PPD.
    And happily so. 

    Strange, my relaxed and rather libertine attitude keeps me from needing to "vent" about stuff that isn't actually my business on internet message boards. I don't feel the need to shake my FI. I will, from time to time, stop by to publicly applaud people's grandparents sage advice and attitudes, in between wedding planning. :-) And a Happy New Year to you, @wrigleyville!

    Is this your new euphemism for lying?
    [Deleted User]aurorajanetteRebeccaB88
  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
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    edited December 2013
    NYCBruin said:
    afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    You read that garbage "PPD" faq to a man and a grown woman and you are shocked they laughed?I'm not. I couldn't begin to imagine trying to float half the crap around here past most men or women who have lived a significant amount of their lives already. The older you get the less importance you place on stupidity and more importance on actual happiness. And men, well, they just have a whole different way of thinking about things. If I need a direct opinion on any matter, I consult my FI because he's not going to factor emotions, feelings and touchy feely crap in his answer. Thank god. I, for one, applaud your FI and Grandmother. Good for them!
    Yes, because men just don't understand that lying is bad.  I was watching a wedding show the other day that was featuring a PPD and FI walked in.  After he was very confused why someone who was already married was having "wedding" I explained to him that some people have PPDs and his response was literally "What the fuck is wrong with people? That makes zero sense.  Why would anyone even attend one of those?"  Then I explained that some people (like yourself) lie to their guests and just tell them its a wedding.  His response "Are you fucking kidding me?  Some people really are just terrible.  I would probably punch the guy in the face if I spent a ton of money to attend their wedding only to find out they didn't actually get married."
    Wow, that's a mighty broad generalization! Men just don't understand lying is bad? How ever do they function in society? 

    You know, I've explained all of this, including wedding related message boards, to my FI, and you know what HE said, "wow, that's all so very fucking stupid." I'm psyched my FI doesn't care about wedding etiquette, what y'all refer to as PPD's, etc. It is extremely helpful when I start caring about certain subjects too much, he quickly reels me in and reminds me what's actually important versus what's not. I'm thankful for him every day. 
    So what you're saying is...you lack the mental capacity to think for yourself, and you rely on a man to do the thinking for you?

    So you're not only setting etiquette back, you're setting women's rights back? 

    Wonderful. Thank you for perpetuating the stereotype of stupid, helpless women. We're all SO appreciative. <sarcasm>

    NYCBruin said:
    afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    You read that garbage "PPD" faq to a man and a grown woman and you are shocked they laughed?I'm not. I couldn't begin to imagine trying to float half the crap around here past most men or women who have lived a significant amount of their lives already. The older you get the less importance you place on stupidity and more importance on actual happiness. And men, well, they just have a whole different way of thinking about things. If I need a direct opinion on any matter, I consult my FI because he's not going to factor emotions, feelings and touchy feely crap in his answer. Thank god. I, for one, applaud your FI and Grandmother. Good for them!
    Yes, because men just don't understand that lying is bad.  I was watching a wedding show the other day that was featuring a PPD and FI walked in.  After he was very confused why someone who was already married was having "wedding" I explained to him that some people have PPDs and his response was literally "What the fuck is wrong with people? That makes zero sense.  Why would anyone even attend one of those?"  Then I explained that some people (like yourself) lie to their guests and just tell them its a wedding.  His response "Are you fucking kidding me?  Some people really are just terrible.  I would probably punch the guy in the face if I spent a ton of money to attend their wedding only to find out they didn't actually get married."
    Wow, that's a mighty broad generalization! Men just don't understand lying is bad? How ever do they function in society? 

    You know, I've explained all of this, including wedding related message boards, to my FI, and you know what HE said, "wow, that's all so very fucking stupid." I'm psyched my FI doesn't care about wedding etiquette, what y'all refer to as PPD's, etc. It is extremely helpful when I start caring about certain subjects too much, he quickly reels me in and reminds me what's actually important versus what's not. I'm thankful for him every day. 
    So what you're saying is...you lack the mental capacity to think for yourself, and you rely on a man to do the thinking for you?

    So you're not only setting etiquette back, you're setting women's rights back? 

    Wonderful. Thank you for perpetuating the stereotype of stupid, helpless women. We're all SO appreciative. <sarcasm>
    No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Not only can I think for myself, I can fend for myself as well. Ours is not a relationship based on need, only want. I was not raised to rely on anyone other than myself, so I'm never in a position of weakness in a relationship. We're equals, through and through. If I occassionally need to be reeled in it's because I'm spun out overthinking things generally brought about by some inherently female need to please, overcompensate, follow some ridiculous guideline to make sure everyone's feelings are just so or meet some artificially high expectation. 

    As it happens, I prefer to emulate and relate more to the way men think than women 80% of the time. Men solve problems. Women seem to create them. Men avoid drama. Women, well, I'm sure you can see the pattern. I prefer facts, not beating around the bush, brass tacks, that sort of thing. As far as etiquette is concerned, I'm not concerned with its origins, but doubtful a group of men decided they'd set some ground rules after some guy forgot to send another a thank you note so many years ago. 

    I'm far from helpless. The opportunities for other women to be the same are endless. I'm sure my blatant disregard for etiquette I have no use for is not holding women back from reaching their full potential. 

  • Says the person who doesn't give a rat's ass about her family or friends and is having a PPD.
    And happily so. 

    Strange, my relaxed and rather libertine attitude keeps me from needing to "vent" about stuff that isn't actually my business on internet message boards. I don't feel the need to shake my FI. I will, from time to time, stop by to publicly applaud people's grandparents sage advice and attitudes, in between wedding planning. :-) And a Happy New Year to you, @wrigleyville!
    @STBMrsEverheart if you don't need to vent and add nothing to this conversation, why are you commenting? Go live your 'libertine' life and don't step too far outside the kitchen...
    Oh, I added quite a bit to the conversation alright. As for me not getting too far from my kitchen, the hours I work, I'd be happy to get IN my kitchen......

  • mobkaz said:
    Says the person who doesn't give a rat's ass about her family or friends and is having a PPD.
    And happily so. 

    Strange, my relaxed and rather libertine attitude keeps me from needing to "vent" about stuff that isn't actually my business on internet message boards. I don't feel the need to shake my FI. I will, from time to time, stop by to publicly applaud people's grandparents sage advice and attitudes, in between wedding planning. :-) And a Happy New Year to you, @wrigleyville!

    Is this your new euphemism for lying?
    I've never needed a euphemism for lying. Just because I find truth relative, certainly doesn't mean I need to play word games. 

  • mobkaz said:
    Oh. Dear. Lord.  Who pulled STBMrsEverhart out of the muck from under her bridge?  I was very much enjoying the peace and quiet.  Please do not feed this one.
    Not agreeing with a group of people on the internet doesn't make someone a troll. I just couldn't help my pure amusement with the OP's "horror" - seeing as getting schooled by one's own Granny must be a bit painful when you think you've got this whole etiquette thing on lockdown. Makes me miss my own Grandmother, but I know what she'd say about the whole concept: Congratulations, which way is the bar?! 

  • I am finding someones' reasoning for now being pushed into doing public records checks on people to see if they are actually invited to a WEDDING, or in your case a fake ass mess a necessity nowadays because of people like you @STBMrsEverhart who do not care about anyone but yourself, and think lying to people is okay, and having people you "care" about spend a ton of money for nothing. 

    Shame on you 1000%.  I hope someone finds out about your sham, calls you out on it before you doup people into spending possibly thousands for a dress up play.

    GlitterWitch22RebeccaB88
  • NYCBruin said:
    afox007 said:
    I want to shake FI! We were talking with my grandma and it came up that apparently a wedding I attended when I was 14 was a PPD. The bride had a destination wedding which my grandparents attended and a beautiful second "wedding" at home. As soon as I heard I started bad mouthing it and pointed out FI was invited to a PPD next year. Both FI and grandma thought it was fine so I read word for word the PPD FAQ and both of them laughed said me and this site were silly and if people want a "real" wedding who are we to stop them.
    You read that garbage "PPD" faq to a man and a grown woman and you are shocked they laughed?I'm not. I couldn't begin to imagine trying to float half the crap around here past most men or women who have lived a significant amount of their lives already. The older you get the less importance you place on stupidity and more importance on actual happiness. And men, well, they just have a whole different way of thinking about things. If I need a direct opinion on any matter, I consult my FI because he's not going to factor emotions, feelings and touchy feely crap in his answer. Thank god. I, for one, applaud your FI and Grandmother. Good for them!
    Yes, because men just don't understand that lying is bad.  I was watching a wedding show the other day that was featuring a PPD and FI walked in.  After he was very confused why someone who was already married was having "wedding" I explained to him that some people have PPDs and his response was literally "What the fuck is wrong with people? That makes zero sense.  Why would anyone even attend one of those?"  Then I explained that some people (like yourself) lie to their guests and just tell them its a wedding.  His response "Are you fucking kidding me?  Some people really are just terrible.  I would probably punch the guy in the face if I spent a ton of money to attend their wedding only to find out they didn't actually get married."
    Wow, that's a mighty broad generalization! Men just don't understand lying is bad? How ever do they function in society? 

    You know, I've explained all of this, including wedding related message boards, to my FI, and you know what HE said, "wow, that's all so very fucking stupid." I'm psyched my FI doesn't care about wedding etiquette, what y'all refer to as PPD's, etc. It is extremely helpful when I start caring about certain subjects too much, he quickly reels me in and reminds me what's actually important versus what's not. I'm thankful for him every day. 
    For the record, DH never lies. He's bad at it and feels terrible about it. Even if it's a tiny thing like breaking one of my favorite glasses last night. He couldn't come to terms to tell me that he sliced his finger on one of my now, broken drinking glass. 

    Blood everywhere when I got home from work last night. 
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