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FI's grandmother & religious differences


Re: FI's grandmother & religious differences

  • I agree with you that Grandma was waaaay out of bounds.  Anyone who forces religious beliefs on another person is rude.
    No, the Halloween costume was not personally offensive to me.  What bothered me was that the young man would be so disrespectful to his former beliefs.  Anyone who shared those beliefs would have been seriously offended.
    I have two grown children.  My daughter went on to find a wonderful husband who shares her beliefs, which are the same as my own.  Now that they are parents, they agree about the religious beliefs that they want to teach their children.  One of those beliefs will be respect for religions that differ from their own.
    My son is an atheist.  I wish he shared my faith, but he does not, and that is his choice.  I wouldn't dream of trying to force him to change.  (I still hope he does someday, though.  I haven't lost all hope!  I do pray for him.)  If he ever becomes a parent, he will have the right to teach his children whatever beliefs he and his wife agree.  I still expect him to respect my religious beliefs, especially while he is in my house.  Grandma needs to do the same.
    I still maintain that sending Grandma the Satanic Bible was wrong and disrespectful, though.  Two wrongs do not make a right.
  • Emmy1493Emmy1493 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    Glad you were able to dodge the bullet. As a Christian it disgusts me to see other Christians being deliberately disrespectful. I'm sure your FI agreed to see her with the intention of mending the relationship, and hoping for the best. Maybe when the day comes they will have chilled out a little bit.
    I 100% agree. I too am a Christian, and have had friends of opposite faiths, but never once had questioned it or have even tried to shove my beliefs down their throat. I get them wanting to share. However, overstepping that boundary where it becomes uncomfortable and over the top is above harassment, and I am sorry you had to experience that OP. I hope she comes to accept the fact that you do not have to share in her beliefs and leaves it at that.If not, I would not blame you or your FI if you told her where to leave it. Best wishes in all of this crazy-ness!

    ETA: Clarification.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • If the situation arises where you have a meet up scheduled with her again, I would arrange it for neutral territory like a cafe or something. That way, you don't have to have an ugly or uncomfortable scene where you have to try and make her leave your home and instead you and your FI can just stand up and walk out. Anyway, sounds like you had a lucky escape this time, I bet you both breathed a sigh of relief!

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2013
    Pumpkinsand turkeys, I like your post.  It was well thought out.
    My daughter's relationship with the young man lasted about two years.  She was head over heels in love.  He was a Mormon elder who was questioning his Mormon beliefs.  She was the first non-Mormon he had dated.  My daughter did not really understand his faith.  She learned a lot about it over the next year.
    The young man attended church with our family (United Methodist) and even sang in the choir.  After about a year, he decided that he was an atheist.  He became sarcastic and derisive of his former faith, and eventually of all faiths.  My daughter is a protestant Christian.  He broke off their relationship without warning or explanation.  He later posted on facebook that he didn't want to marry a Christian.  He began dating another atheist, and eventually married her.
    Yeah, I saw the handwriting on the wall.  I knew that the relationship was doomed because he was undergoing so much change.  I also did not believe that he really loved my daughter enough to have a strong marriage.  The relationship was too one sided.  (OK, he was hot.)
    After a long time, my daughter made herself a list of things she wanted in a husband.  Honest, reliable, intelligent, ethical and a Christian.  She was talking to a friend at a party, and she showed him her list.  He said "See that nerdy looking guy over there in the corner?  He's what you want.  Go get him!"  They are very happily married.  Thank you, God!
  • I posted earlier that my son is an atheist.  I do understand a lot of what you go through.
    I think that having your heart broken by loving the wrong man is just a part of growing up.  It happened to me.  It happens to a lot of girls.  Being in love with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you should marry them.
    My daughter was following my example.  A couple of years after MY heart was broken, I made a list and decided to marry the man who fulfilled my needs.  We have been happily married for more than 37 years.  I love him more every year.  Tonight is New Year's Eve, and it is a good time to think back on how blessed I have been.
    Good luck to you.
  • GrrArghGrrArgh member
    250 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    zitiqueen said:
    CMGragain said:
    This wasn't a nun's or priest's costume.  It was really offensive.  Any Mormon's out there?
    As a Catholic, I'm sure there are some things that would offend you if taken disrespectfully.  How about a slutty Virgin Mary costume? 

    So you're saying he wore the magic underwear as his costume?
    OH MY GOSH my temple garments are MAGIC?! Can I fly now? please tell me I can fly oooh or maybe turn invisible that'd be pretty slick too, but I guess I'd settle for pulling kittens out of a hat as I'm not overly fond of bunnies. (use to work as a photographer for glamourshots... they had live rabbits one year for Easter that was a nightmare) 
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