I'm sorry, I just need to let off some steam and my friends are tired of hearing this and so is FI, so you get the lovely option of reading it. Or you can skip it entirely and just tell me to suck it up and deal (as I know that's the end result!)
FMIL makes me want to stab her in the face. She BLATENLY cheats on FFIL and basically rubs it in his face, as well as her children's faces, every chance she gets. "Going out for a bit" has turned into 4 or 5 hour jaunts to who knows where. She has "forgotten" to pick her youngest up from church, and school, and work. She left FI alone in the hospital over the summer when he was having surgery because she wanted to go talk to her girlfriend - oh, did i mention that she's decided after over 20 years of marriage she's gay? And she is unstatisfied with all of my plans for the wedding so far, even though I have made it clear that 98% of them, disregarding venue and date, are simply ideas because we are 18 MONTHS away!
FFIL is way to passive for me. He lets FMIL do whatever she wants and just hopes that "she'll come back to us soon". He is depressed but won't accept help, and is relying fully on God to solve the problem and "bring her back". Please don't get me wrong, I'm a Christian too, but she's running amok with joint bank accounts and he's not doing anything to stop it. AUGH. And he's upset because I have asked my pastor to do the ceremony for the wedding, even though FI said it was a-okay by him.
And FSIL...ugh. She freaks out whenever FI mentions the word "wedding". She was hysterical when we began attempting to set a date - apparently we're "moving too fast" and I am "rushing" her older brother into this marriage, even though he is the one who suggested the date. And the fact that we're getting married at their home church but using their regular pastor is "UNACCEPTABLE".
FBIL and I have no problems. Mostly because he rarely speaks.
TL/DR: FI's family is making me CRAZY and I can't stand it!
I am aware that I have to suck it up and deal. I am also aware that my family is not easy to get along with either, and FI must be feeling some of this- I'm just used to my family by now and they are WAY different! I am doing this as best as I can with a smile on my face. We have 18 months of this before the wedding. We're barely at the beginning of planning. It's only going to get worse. But we will make it through, and everything will be fine, and I will only have to see them a few times a year. It will be fine.
Thanks for the rant space. I needed it. If you made it this far - you're dedicated!
Re: Rant: FILs make my head hurt.
YOu have my sympathies, though.
FI and I are working on it, slowly but surely. I just got off the phone with his mom, though, and needed to take out my frustrations NOT on him (as I know it's not his fault). This was an open place...and I feel much better now =]
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio
Don't let the BSC FSIL and her drama push you where you don't want to go. She wants to be the center of attention, not you and your wedding. Tell her you'd love to have her there, but if she can't make it then you will understand. And don't ask her to be in the wedding party unless that is what YOU really want. I know you are still in the planning stages...just throwing that one out there.
Wow, your FILs sound as crazy as mine...possibly crazier. You have my sympathies....especially since my FI has decided that we aren't having anything to do with his family and we don't have to deal with them ever.
Fred Rogers
breathe deep. understand that most of it, you can't control, but you can control your reaction to it. you're in my prayers
*10.9.10*
[QUOTE]FMIL makes me want to stab her in the face.
Posted by sweetpea0911[/QUOTE]
Me too! It was this bad for me in the begining of planning. I was also worried about a year of hell through the planning process. I just cut them out of the planning proccess and my life as much as possible. Make sure FI and you are on the same page and avoid talking about the wedding at all. If they are the ones that bring it up, start avoiding them.
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio