How do you address a couple when the wife is a Dr?

PnkBride · January 2014

Thank you in advance.

chibiyui · January 2014

Dr. Lady and Mr. Dude.

misshart00 · January 2014

Do they go by the same last name?

Liatris2010 · January 2014

Same name?
Doctor and Mr. Lastname

Different names?
Doctor Smartypants & Mr. Right

PnkBride · January 2014

Yes, same last name. Married with no children.

I was not sure how to send invitations to them as a couple.

PnkBride · January 2014

So it should be like this example: Dr. and Mr. Matthew Davis ?

misshart00 · January 2014

I thought it would be Mr and Dr Jones. But I could be wrong.

Liatris2010 · January 2014

Crane's is the go to:
IN WHICH WIFE IS A DOCTOR

Outside Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Victor Newell
OR
Doctor Christina Newell and Mr. Victor Newell

Inside Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Newell
OR
Doctor Newell and Mr. Newell

http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/#In-Which-Wife-is-a-Doctor

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:

Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

misshart00 · January 2014

Liatris2010 said:

Crane's is the go to:
IN WHICH WIFE IS A DOCTOR

Outside Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Victor Newell
OR
Doctor Christina Newell and Mr. Victor Newell

Inside Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Newell
OR
Doctor Newell and Mr. Newell

http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/#In-Which-Wife-is-a-Doctor

Gotcha. Thanks.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

I disagree on this one. I think if she is a Ph.D and she wants to be addressed as "Dr." she should be.

Blah Blah blah but there is a difference blah blah. I personally don't give two shits about the convention of calling only physicians Dr. on formal correspondence. I find it antiquated and elitist.

I'm a fan of the convention that you address ppl how they wish to be addressed. So if she wants to be Dr. Frou Frou of all Cupcakes, then you put that on the invitation.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

I disagree on this one. I think if she is a Ph.D and she wants to be addressed as "Dr." she should be.

Blah Blah blah but there is a difference blah blah. I personally don't give two shits about the convention of calling only physicians Dr. on formal correspondence. I find it antiquated and elitist.

I'm a fan of the convention that you address ppl how they wish to be addressed. So if she wants to be Dr. Frou Frou of all Cupcakes, then you put that on the invitation.

ETA: I am not trying to take a severe tone with Friday. . . sorry if it comes off that way! I have no issue with her post. I'm just bitchy about the Dr vs. Dr crap, lol.

phira · January 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

No no no no no I am working my ASS off for this PhD. Please do not assume that women with PhDs prefer to go by Ms or Mrs socially.

We have a husband and wife with this particular set-up, so we addressed their save-the-date to: Dr Herfirst Last and Mr Hisfirst Last.

grumbledore · January 2014

I would be pissed if I was a doctor (medical or otherwise) and was referred to as Mrs.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

phira said:

show previous quotes

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

No no no no no I am working my ASS off for this PhD. Please do not assume that women with PhDs prefer to go by Ms or Mrs socially.

We have a husband and wife with this particular set-up, so we addressed their save-the-date to: Dr Herfirst Last and Mr Hisfirst Last.

grumbledore said:

I would be pissed if I was a doctor (medical or otherwise) and was referred to as Mrs.

Proves my point.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

Grumbledore gave me her dbl posting STI, noooooooooo!

Fran1985 · January 2014

Kinda OT but I had Justice Ginsburg's husband as a professor. He has an invitation on his door that had been filled out "the honorable and mrs ginsburg" He got a kick out of it.

Liatris2010 · January 2014

All the PhDs I know, and it's a lot, prefer to be addressed doctor.

BlueBirdMB · January 2014

phira said:

show previous quotes

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

No no no no no I am working my ASS off for this PhD. Please do not assume that women with PhDs prefer to go by Ms or Mrs socially.

We have a husband and wife with this particular set-up, so we addressed their save-the-date to: Dr Herfirst Last and Mr Hisfirst Last.

Technically it is correct that one should only automatically refer to a medical doctor as "Dr", but people choose their own titles. So if a PhD wants to be referred to as "Dr", it is polite to address them as this.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

BlueBirdMB said:

show previous quotes

phira said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

No no no no no I am working my ASS off for this PhD. Please do not assume that women with PhDs prefer to go by Ms or Mrs socially.

We have a husband and wife with this particular set-up, so we addressed their save-the-date to: Dr Herfirst Last and Mr Hisfirst Last.

Technically it is correct that one should only automatically refer to a medical doctor as "Dr", but people choose their own titles. So if a PhD wants to be referred to as "Dr", it is polite to address them as this.

Yes, this is an antiquated and elitist convention, and I have yet to read, hear, or be given a logical reason for why this should be the case.

Fran1985 · January 2014

Liatris2010 said:

All the PhDs I know, and it's a lot, prefer to be addressed doctor.

I'm sure they do prefer it...

huskypuppy14 · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

show previous quotes

BlueBirdMB said:

phira said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

No no no no no I am working my ASS off for this PhD. Please do not assume that women with PhDs prefer to go by Ms or Mrs socially.

We have a husband and wife with this particular set-up, so we addressed their save-the-date to: Dr Herfirst Last and Mr Hisfirst Last.

Technically it is correct that one should only automatically refer to a medical doctor as "Dr", but people choose their own titles. So if a PhD wants to be referred to as "Dr", it is polite to address them as this.

Yes, this is an antiquated and elitist convention, and I have yet to read, hear, or be given a logical reason for why this should be the case.

This! If etiquette is about being polite, and making your guests comfortable, why wouldn't you address them how they want to be addressed. We have a few PhDs (scientists) and a couple medical doctors on our guest list, and they are all being addressed as Dr. It doesn't affect me or my other guests in any way, so why wouldn't I do it?

phira · January 2014

PhD is a doctoral degree. Dr = holds a doctoral degree. It is not "technically" correct to only refer to medical doctors as Dr.

Given that a PhD, at least in the sciences, takes at least 5-6 years, you can at least treat us like we worked hard for our degrees instead of treating us like we're not REALLY doctors and don't deserve the respect that comes with the title.

Aray82 · January 2014

phira said:
PhD is a doctoral degree. Dr = holds a doctoral degree. It is not "technically" correct to only refer to medical doctors as Dr.

Given that a PhD, at least in the sciences, takes at least 5-6 years, you can at least treat us like we worked hard for our degrees instead of treating us like we're not REALLY doctors and don't deserve the respect that comes with the title.

This. Eight thousand times this.

LizM61409 · January 2014

Liatris2010 said:

Crane's is the go to:
IN WHICH WIFE IS A DOCTOR

Outside Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Victor Newell
OR
Doctor Christina Newell and Mr. Victor Newell

Inside Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Newell
OR
Doctor Newell and Mr. Newell

http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/#In-Which-Wife-is-a-Doctor

Why in gods name is it sometimes okay to refer to a female physician as "Mrs" but it's never okay to refer to a male physician as "Mr"????? We worked just as hard and got the exact same degree, I get really annoyed with this "no big deal we don't have to call her Dr" attitude

KeptInStitches · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

show previous quotes

HisGirlFriday13 said:

It depends. If she is a doctor of medicine, dentistry, or veterinary medicine, she gets "Dr." in front of her name. If she's a PhD, socially, she gets "Ms." or "Mrs.," depending on her preference.

If they share a last name, it would be:
Dr. and Mr. John Smith

If they do not share a last name, it would be:
Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones

I disagree on this one. I think if she is a Ph.D and she wants to be addressed as "Dr." she should be.

Blah Blah blah but there is a difference blah blah. I personally don't give two shits about the convention of calling only physicians Dr. on formal correspondence. I find it antiquated and elitist.

I'm a fan of the convention that you address ppl how they wish to be addressed. So if she wants to be Dr. Frou Frou of all Cupcakes, then you put that on the invitation.

All right, I now have a flip reason to want to finish my PhD. Then I can officially be Dr. Frou Frou of All Cupcakes.

huskypuppy14 · January 2014

Where are you doing your PhD @Phira ?

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

Whether you all think it's antiquated or not (and I happen to agree, FWIW), the etiquette rule still stands that PhD's don't get "Dr." in front of their names socially.

If you want to disregard that convention, that's fine, and I don't think anyone would side-eye you. But since this is the Etiquette board, I thought I'd quote what is still, technically, the etiquette rule.

FWIW, every single person with a PhD who was invited to my wedding was either "Dr. and Mrs." or "Dr. and Mr." or "The Drs."

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Whether you all think it's antiquated or not (and I happen to agree, FWIW), the etiquette rule still stands that PhD's don't get "Dr." in front of their names socially.

If you want to disregard that convention, that's fine, and I don't think anyone would side-eye you. But since this is the Etiquette board, I thought I'd quote what is still, technically, the etiquette rule.

FWIW, every single person with a PhD who was invited to my wedding was either "Dr. and Mrs." or "Dr. and Mr." or "The Drs."

You had all of them at your wedding?!