Just Sharing My Story, A Long Vent!

MobKaz · January 2014

DaringtoDream said:

MrsMack10612 said:

I need to ask a question and I'm not trying to be snarky.

Why do you need to heal from not having a big poofy wedding day? The importance of a wedding is the marriage. You have that, what is there to heal from? You heal from loss, you heal from tragedy. Not having a big froofy wedding day is neither a loss nor a tragedy.

Shit happens, you need to re-plot the course and move on.

I never said I needed "a big poofy wedding day." From the beginning, the plan was a small, simple wedding, but even a small celebration with family costs money.

Why does any women want a wedding? It's a once in a lifetime (for most of us) experience to stand in the church of your faith in front of loved ones to celebrate a love so great you vow it irreplaceable for a lifetime and the end result proclaims you are married. The truth is none of us really need to have a wedding of any size or budget for the end result of being married, it's our own personal want or desire.

For some, carrying on tradition and sharing the experience with loved ones is something you have pictured in your mind a thousand times. A wedding just happened to be a want, which was very important to me.

However, regardless of what it is, when something is important to you and it's no longer there or an option, it most definitely is a loss. Yes, I do plan to move on, good advice. Thank you!

There is no reason you cannot still have a faith based simple ceremony.

Speak with your pastor/priest about the possibility of a small, faith based ceremony. It shouldn't really involve the big dress or a bridal party, but it can be a lovely ceremony with immediate family and close friends, followed by an equally lovely brunch/luncheon.

smalfrie19 · January 2014

MrsMack10612 said:

DaringtoDream said:

MrsMack10612 said:

I need to ask a question and I'm not trying to be snarky.

Why do you need to heal from not having a big poofy wedding day? The importance of a wedding is the marriage. You have that, what is there to heal from? You heal from loss, you heal from tragedy. Not having a big froofy wedding day is neither a loss nor a tragedy.

Shit happens, you need to re-plot the course and move on.

I never said I needed "a big poofy wedding day." From the beginning, the plan was a small, simple wedding, but even a small celebration with family costs money.

Why does any women want a wedding? It's a once in a lifetime (for most of us) experience to stand in the church of your faith in front of loved ones to celebrate a love so great you vow it irreplaceable for a lifetime and the end result proclaims you are married. The truth is none of us really need to have a wedding of any size or budget for the end result of being married, it's our own personal want or desire.

For some, carrying on tradition and sharing the experience with loved ones is something you have pictured in your mind a thousand times. A wedding just happened to be a want, which was very important to me.

However, regardless of what it is, when something is important to you and it's no longer there or an option, it most definitely is a loss. Yes, I do plan to move on, good advice. Thank you!

STUCK IN THE BOX:

I get the idea of carrying on tradition, I wore my mother's dress. But your words come across like you are in mourning over a party. There is no reason you can't still have the party. You just can't pretend to get married again. You will never be a bride, you are a wife.

watch this...lather rinse repeat (posted youtube vid for lack of gif)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3T4Y8MiOzo

DaringtoDream · January 2014

MrsMack10612 said:

DaringtoDream said:

MrsMack10612 said:

I need to ask a question and I'm not trying to be snarky.

Why do you need to heal from not having a big poofy wedding day? The importance of a wedding is the marriage. You have that, what is there to heal from? You heal from loss, you heal from tragedy. Not having a big froofy wedding day is neither a loss nor a tragedy.

Shit happens, you need to re-plot the course and move on.

I never said I needed "a big poofy wedding day." From the beginning, the plan was a small, simple wedding, but even a small celebration with family costs money.

Why does any women want a wedding? It's a once in a lifetime (for most of us) experience to stand in the church of your faith in front of loved ones to celebrate a love so great you vow it irreplaceable for a lifetime and the end result proclaims you are married. The truth is none of us really need to have a wedding of any size or budget for the end result of being married, it's our own personal want or desire.

For some, carrying on tradition and sharing the experience with loved ones is something you have pictured in your mind a thousand times. A wedding just happened to be a want, which was very important to me.

However, regardless of what it is, when something is important to you and it's no longer there or an option, it most definitely is a loss. Yes, I do plan to move on, good advice. Thank you!

STUCK IN THE BOX:

I get the idea of carrying on tradition, I wore my mother's dress. But your words come across like you are in mourning over a party. There is no reason you can't still have the party. You just can't pretend to get married again. You will never be a bride, you are a wife.

I am jealous. That is so awesome you got to wear your mother's wedding dress. I love traditions. No, not the party, but the ceremony. I get I am a wife now. I was upset, but getting it all off my chest has really helped. I feel much better.

Thanks, to all those who sent me private messages. I completely understand why none of you wanted to post their thoughts openly.

RWS2011 · January 2014

Hey there, Quick Draw, aka DaringtoDream. Regardless of how you intended for your original post to come across, to a bunch of internet strangers, it sounded a lot like an invitation to a pity party. As some previous posters have mentioned, very few people get the wedding of their dreams. SOME of those people even have children like you do! We have had to halve our wedding budget and then halve it again, as a result of my sob story that will remain untold. I am not crying that I can't have the wedding that I originally envisioned, but it is not the wedding of my dreams. The man is the man of my dreams, and that is what matters.

DaringtoDream · January 2014

mobkaz said:

DaringtoDream said:

MrsMack10612 said:

I need to ask a question and I'm not trying to be snarky.

Why do you need to heal from not having a big poofy wedding day? The importance of a wedding is the marriage. You have that, what is there to heal from? You heal from loss, you heal from tragedy. Not having a big froofy wedding day is neither a loss nor a tragedy.

Shit happens, you need to re-plot the course and move on.

I never said I needed "a big poofy wedding day." From the beginning, the plan was a small, simple wedding, but even a small celebration with family costs money.

Why does any women want a wedding? It's a once in a lifetime (for most of us) experience to stand in the church of your faith in front of loved ones to celebrate a love so great you vow it irreplaceable for a lifetime and the end result proclaims you are married. The truth is none of us really need to have a wedding of any size or budget for the end result of being married, it's our own personal want or desire.

For some, carrying on tradition and sharing the experience with loved ones is something you have pictured in your mind a thousand times. A wedding just happened to be a want, which was very important to me.

However, regardless of what it is, when something is important to you and it's no longer there or an option, it most definitely is a loss. Yes, I do plan to move on, good advice. Thank you!

There is no reason you cannot still have a faith based simple ceremony.

Speak with your pastor/priest about the possibility of a small, faith based ceremony. It shouldn't really involve the big dress or a bridal party, but it can be a lovely ceremony with immediate family and close friends, followed by an equally lovely brunch/luncheon.

That's a great idea! You are completely right. Thanks so much!

"That was an oft said expression in our home as well. "Suffer silently and offer it up to God" was a close second."

My mother says this as well. I haven't said anything to my friends, family, or even husband about my feelings. I guess that's why I used this forum as an outlet. I figured those who didn't agree or had a problem with it could just ignore it and not give it another thought. Boy was I wrong. lol

DaringtoDream · January 2014

bethsmiles said:

Could you just stop playing the martyr?

MobKaz · January 2014

DaringtoDream said:

mobkaz said:

DaringtoDream said:

MrsMack10612 said:

I need to ask a question and I'm not trying to be snarky.

Why do you need to heal from not having a big poofy wedding day? The importance of a wedding is the marriage. You have that, what is there to heal from? You heal from loss, you heal from tragedy. Not having a big froofy wedding day is neither a loss nor a tragedy.

Shit happens, you need to re-plot the course and move on.

I never said I needed "a big poofy wedding day." From the beginning, the plan was a small, simple wedding, but even a small celebration with family costs money.

Why does any women want a wedding? It's a once in a lifetime (for most of us) experience to stand in the church of your faith in front of loved ones to celebrate a love so great you vow it irreplaceable for a lifetime and the end result proclaims you are married. The truth is none of us really need to have a wedding of any size or budget for the end result of being married, it's our own personal want or desire.

For some, carrying on tradition and sharing the experience with loved ones is something you have pictured in your mind a thousand times. A wedding just happened to be a want, which was very important to me.

However, regardless of what it is, when something is important to you and it's no longer there or an option, it most definitely is a loss. Yes, I do plan to move on, good advice. Thank you!

There is no reason you cannot still have a faith based simple ceremony.

Speak with your pastor/priest about the possibility of a small, faith based ceremony. It shouldn't really involve the big dress or a bridal party, but it can be a lovely ceremony with immediate family and close friends, followed by an equally lovely brunch/luncheon.

That's a great idea! You are completely right. Thanks so much!

"That was an oft said expression in our home as well. "Suffer silently and offer it up to God" was a close second."

My mother says this as well. I haven't said anything to my friends, family, or even husband about my feelings. I guess that's why I used this forum as an outlet. I figured those who didn't agree or had a problem with it could just ignore it and not give it another thought. Boy was I wrong. lol

When you post on an internet forum, of any kind, for any reason, you have to be prepared for any and all comments. There is no filter or internet police. Some posters will ignore your post. (You can actually see how many people view your post versus those who actually comment on it.) But that ignore button works both ways. Just because someone comments on your post, you are not required to respond to it, either.

Written communication can always be open to interpretation. A seemingly innocuous sentence can easily be misinterpreted. For example, regardless of intent, when you posted this........."Thanks, to all those who sent me private messages. I completely understand why none of you wanted to post their thoughts openly.", it can easily be construed as a snarky, passive-aggressive dig. For first time or new posters, their sensitivity and/or defensiveness is often on overdrive.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

mobkaz said:

Written communication can always be open to interpretation. A seemingly innocuous sentence can easily be misinterpreted. For example, regardless of intent, when you posted this........."Thanks, to all those who sent me private messages. I completely understand why none of you wanted to post their thoughts openly.", it can easily be construed as a snarky, passive-aggressive dig. For first time or new posters, their sensitivity and/or defensiveness is often on overdrive.

A.freaking.MEN!!

DaringtoDream · January 2014

mobkaz said:

DaringtoDream said:

mobkaz said:

DaringtoDream said:

MrsMack10612 said:

I need to ask a question and I'm not trying to be snarky.

Why do you need to heal from not having a big poofy wedding day? The importance of a wedding is the marriage. You have that, what is there to heal from? You heal from loss, you heal from tragedy. Not having a big froofy wedding day is neither a loss nor a tragedy.

Shit happens, you need to re-plot the course and move on.

I never said I needed "a big poofy wedding day." From the beginning, the plan was a small, simple wedding, but even a small celebration with family costs money.

Why does any women want a wedding? It's a once in a lifetime (for most of us) experience to stand in the church of your faith in front of loved ones to celebrate a love so great you vow it irreplaceable for a lifetime and the end result proclaims you are married. The truth is none of us really need to have a wedding of any size or budget for the end result of being married, it's our own personal want or desire.

For some, carrying on tradition and sharing the experience with loved ones is something you have pictured in your mind a thousand times. A wedding just happened to be a want, which was very important to me.

However, regardless of what it is, when something is important to you and it's no longer there or an option, it most definitely is a loss. Yes, I do plan to move on, good advice. Thank you!

There is no reason you cannot still have a faith based simple ceremony.

Speak with your pastor/priest about the possibility of a small, faith based ceremony. It shouldn't really involve the big dress or a bridal party, but it can be a lovely ceremony with immediate family and close friends, followed by an equally lovely brunch/luncheon.

That's a great idea! You are completely right. Thanks so much!

"That was an oft said expression in our home as well. "Suffer silently and offer it up to God" was a close second."

My mother says this as well. I haven't said anything to my friends, family, or even husband about my feelings. I guess that's why I used this forum as an outlet. I figured those who didn't agree or had a problem with it could just ignore it and not give it another thought. Boy was I wrong. lol

When you post on an internet forum, of any kind, for any reason, you have to be prepared for any and all comments. There is no filter or internet police. Some posters will ignore your post. (You can actually see how many people view your post versus those who actually comment on it.) But that ignore button works both ways. Just because someone comments on your post, you are not required to respond to it, either.

Written communication can always be open to interpretation. A seemingly innocuous sentence can easily be misinterpreted. For example, regardless of intent, when you posted this........."Thanks, to all those who sent me private messages. I completely understand why none of you wanted to post their thoughts openly.", it can easily be construed as a snarky, passive-aggressive dig. For first time or new posters, their sensitivity and/or defensiveness is often on overdrive.

I realize that now! I just did my best at trying to explain my intentions and how I felt. Although, that didn't seem good enough and someone else would post the same exact thing. I am really not some horrible person that thinks I am the only one with problems or didn't get the wedding they wanted. I don't know how else I can get that point across. I thought sharing my own story would prompt others to share similar experiences. Epic. Fail.

I felt attacked by assumptions. Everyone wants me to know that absolutely no compassion is given under any circumstances for my situation. Message received!!

I have no clue if they are first time posters, but as a first time poster I can say I don't blame them. I wanted to thank them that was my only intention.

AddieCake · January 2014

So, basically, this thread was created to tell us to be nicer in our responses? Oh, good. We simply don't get enough of those around here. If you're a long time lurker as you claim, you should know how yawn-worthy such a post is.

ETA: I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen. They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me.

RebeccaB88 · January 2014

Seriously? "I can't have exactly what I really want, so I'm just not having anything at all." Isn't that what kindergarteners say when they don't like what's served for dinner? Good for you for making the ultimate sacrifice for your kid. No other parent has ever done that, ever, in history. You're the first. And of course, a whole bunch of internet strangers need to know exactly what kind of martyr you are.

All you had to do was hire an officiant to come to your home, put on your dress, invite your family and friends, get married, and serve everyone some cake after. Done, for cheap, and you're still married to the guy you wanted to marry.

So on your next milestone anniversary, throw a fantastic party. Own it. Celebrate it. And for damn sakes, put the martyr act away. It's not becoming.

DaringtoDream · January 2014

AddieL73 said:

So, basically, this thread was created to tell us to be nicer in our responses? Oh, good. We simply don't get enough of those around here. If you're a long time lurker as you claim, you should know how yawn-worthy such a post is.

ETA: I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen. They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me.

Basically, yes and you are the first person to arrive at that conclusion. Also, I assume by your sarcasm, that there are many others whom share a similar belief, which is nice to know.

If my post is so "yawn-worthy" why give it any attention and take the risk of boring yourself by posting a response?

"They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me."

You took the words right out of my mouth! I could not agree more, it makes no sense at all. Then, just when I think there can not possibly be another hateful way of telling me to get the fuck over it, it's just a pity party, there are no excuses, others have it worse, or no one gives a hairy rats ass, I am proven wrong. Although, I do have to give the name calling and video extra points for creativity.

Ironically, the same way you do not understand why the topic of this post is a reoccurring event, I do not understand why individuals feel it's necessary to continue posting redundant comments. Or maybe, just maybe, there are only so many topics pertaining to weddings and the only distinguishing factors about any of the topics are our personal stories/opinions.

"I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen."

Why does anyone, anywhere, regardless if their views are popular with the majority, stand up for what they believe? Did Rosa Parks think that just by refusing to give up her seat on a bus, it would have such a profound impact on history? I seriously doubt it, just like I seriously doubt my post will cause anyone to reflect on how they formulate their responses.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result."

Obviously, I am not comparing the hateful injustices of segregation with the hatefully worded comments on an online forum. The only similarity they share is ignorance. It's impossible to have hate without ignorance. This does NOT mean anyone is stupid/ignorant. Only, that ignorance, which is a lack of knowledge or information can result in comments sounding very hateful.

For example:

@RebeccaB88 ""I can't have exactly what I really want, so I'm just not having anything at all." Isn't that what kindergarteners say when they don't like what's served for dinner? Good for you for making the ultimate sacrifice for your kid. No other parent has ever done that, ever, in history. You're the first."

When did I ever say in my post that if I could not have exactly what I really want, I'm just not going to have anything at all? The only thing I said was that I realized I could no longer have the wedding I intend because I was already married. I never said, I was not ever going to have "anything at all!"

Making assumptions just because I am selling my wedding dress or moving on does not translate into "not having anything at all." I do not need a big "poofy" wedding dress in order to have a celebration or vow renewal. So, for this reason, it's fair to compare me to a kindergartener whom doesn't like their dinner? Really?

Also, I NEVER claimed to be the "first parent in history" to make sacrifices for their child. I thought it was common knowledge that parenting in general comes with many sacrifices. Sharing my own personal experience was not intended to belittle or make void the sacrifices of other parents. Unfortunately, I just don't understand what it accomplishes by making a rude, hateful, snarky comment based only on your own assumptions.

Sorry, for any grammatical errors, I wrote this in a hurry.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

DaringtoDream said:

AddieL73 said:

So, basically, this thread was created to tell us to be nicer in our responses? Oh, good. We simply don't get enough of those around here. If you're a long time lurker as you claim, you should know how yawn-worthy such a post is.

ETA: I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen. They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me.

Basically, yes and you are the first person to arrive at that conclusion. Also, I assume by your sarcasm, that there are many others whom share a similar belief, which is nice to know.

If my post is so "yawn-worthy" why give it any attention and take the risk of boring yourself by posting a response?

"They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me."

You took the words right out of my mouth! I could not agree more, it makes no sense at all. Then, just when I think there can not possibly be another hateful way of telling me to get the fuck over it, it's just a pity party, there are no excuses, others have it worse, or no one gives a hairy rats ass, I am proven wrong. Although, I do have to give the name calling and video extra points for creativity.

Ironically, the same way you do not understand why the topic of this post is a reoccurring event, I do not understand why individuals feel it's necessary to continue posting redundant comments. Or maybe, just maybe, there are only so many topics pertaining to weddings and the only distinguishing factors about any of the topics are our personal stories/opinions.

"I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen."

Why does anyone, anywhere, regardless if their views are popular with the majority, stand up for what they believe? Did Rosa Parks think that just by refusing to give up her seat on a bus, it would have such a profound impact on history? I seriously doubt it, just like I seriously doubt my post will cause anyone to reflect on how they formulate their responses.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result."

Obviously, I am not comparing the hateful injustices of segregation with the hatefully worded comments on an online forum. The only similarity they share is ignorance. It's impossible to have hate without ignorance. This does NOT mean anyone is stupid/ignorant. Only, that ignorance, which is a lack of knowledge or information can result in comments sounding very hateful.

For example:
@RebeccaB88 ""I can't have exactly what I really want, so I'm just not having anything at all." Isn't that what kindergarteners say when they don't like what's served for dinner? Good for you for making the ultimate sacrifice for your kid. No other parent has ever done that, ever, in history. You're the first."

When did I ever say in my post that if I could not have exactly what I really want, I'm just not going to have anything at all? The only thing I said was that I realized I could no longer have the wedding I intend because I was already married. I never said, I was not ever going to have "anything at all!"

Making assumptions just because I am selling my wedding dress or moving on does not translate into "not having anything at all." I do not need a big "poofy" wedding dress in order to have a celebration or vow renewal. So, for this reason, it's fair to compare me to a kindergartener whom doesn't like their dinner? Really?

Also, I NEVER claimed to be the "first parent in history" to make sacrifices for their child. I thought it was common knowledge that parenting in general comes with many sacrifices. Sharing my own personal experience was not intended to belittle or make void the sacrifices of other parents. Unfortunately, I just don't understand what it accomplishes by making a rude, hateful, snarky comment based only on your own assumptions.

Sorry, for any grammatical errors, I wrote this in a hurry.

Wait, I'm sorry -- did you SERIOUSLY just reference Mahatma Ghandi and Rosa Parks, two of the greatest civil rights leaders in the history of the world, in a post on a wedding website, in which you're trying to tell us to stop being big meanies and tell you you're a speshul snowflake who deserves a special day?

Really?

REALLY?!?!

R.E.A.L.L.Y.?!?!?!?

Please tell me that was a hyperbolic flight of verbal fantasy and not an expression of a delusion of grandeur that you think your struggle on TK is in any way even one-one-trillionth as important as either of the things those two people fought for.

Please.

Because before I just thought you were entitled and whingey. But this? This is beyond the pale even for an entitled speshul snowflake.

Fran1985 · January 2014

If you ever compare yourself to Rosa Parks on an internet forum about weddings, you seriously need to take ten giant steps back from the internet.

DaringtoDream · January 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

DaringtoDream said:

AddieL73 said:

So, basically, this thread was created to tell us to be nicer in our responses? Oh, good. We simply don't get enough of those around here. If you're a long time lurker as you claim, you should know how yawn-worthy such a post is.

ETA: I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen. They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me.

Basically, yes and you are the first person to arrive at that conclusion. Also, I assume by your sarcasm, that there are many others whom share a similar belief, which is nice to know.

If my post is so "yawn-worthy" why give it any attention and take the risk of boring yourself by posting a response?

"They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me."

You took the words right out of my mouth! I could not agree more, it makes no sense at all. Then, just when I think there can not possibly be another hateful way of telling me to get the fuck over it, it's just a pity party, there are no excuses, others have it worse, or no one gives a hairy rats ass, I am proven wrong. Although, I do have to give the name calling and video extra points for creativity.

Ironically, the same way you do not understand why the topic of this post is a reoccurring event, I do not understand why individuals feel it's necessary to continue posting redundant comments. Or maybe, just maybe, there are only so many topics pertaining to weddings and the only distinguishing factors about any of the topics are our personal stories/opinions.

"I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen."

Why does anyone, anywhere, regardless if their views are popular with the majority, stand up for what they believe? Did Rosa Parks think that just by refusing to give up her seat on a bus, it would have such a profound impact on history? I seriously doubt it, just like I seriously doubt my post will cause anyone to reflect on how they formulate their responses.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result."

Obviously, I am not comparing the hateful injustices of segregation with the hatefully worded comments on an online forum. The only similarity they share is ignorance. It's impossible to have hate without ignorance. This does NOT mean anyone is stupid/ignorant. Only, that ignorance, which is a lack of knowledge or information can result in comments sounding very hateful.

For example:
@RebeccaB88 ""I can't have exactly what I really want, so I'm just not having anything at all." Isn't that what kindergarteners say when they don't like what's served for dinner? Good for you for making the ultimate sacrifice for your kid. No other parent has ever done that, ever, in history. You're the first."

When did I ever say in my post that if I could not have exactly what I really want, I'm just not going to have anything at all? The only thing I said was that I realized I could no longer have the wedding I intend because I was already married. I never said, I was not ever going to have "anything at all!"

Making assumptions just because I am selling my wedding dress or moving on does not translate into "not having anything at all." I do not need a big "poofy" wedding dress in order to have a celebration or vow renewal. So, for this reason, it's fair to compare me to a kindergartener whom doesn't like their dinner? Really?

Also, I NEVER claimed to be the "first parent in history" to make sacrifices for their child. I thought it was common knowledge that parenting in general comes with many sacrifices. Sharing my own personal experience was not intended to belittle or make void the sacrifices of other parents. Unfortunately, I just don't understand what it accomplishes by making a rude, hateful, snarky comment based only on your own assumptions.

Sorry, for any grammatical errors, I wrote this in a hurry.

Wait, I'm sorry -- did you SERIOUSLY just reference Mahatma Ghandi and Rosa Parks, two of the greatest civil rights leaders in the history of the world, in a post on a wedding website, in which you're trying to tell us to stop being big meanies and tell you you're a speshul snowflake who deserves a special day?

Really?

REALLY?!?!

R.E.A.L.L.Y.?!?!?!?

Please tell me that was a hyperbolic flight of verbal fantasy and not an expression of a delusion of grandeur that you think your struggle on TK is in any way even one-one-trillionth as important as either of the things those two people fought for.

Please.

Because before I just thought you were entitled and whingey. But this? This is beyond the pale even for an entitled speshul snowflake.

Do you live on here? lol Serious question, it just seems like whenever I post BAM! There you are!

The truth is no matter what references I made, quotes I used, or connections I made to try and make a point that was understandable, you would find something to bitch about. I could have agreed with everything you have ever done or said and you would STILL find something wrong with it!

The references were only made to make a point NOT compare similar struggles!!! I could have used fucking Bugs Bunny as a comparison and you were going to find something wrong with it!!!

What part of me stating/admitting "Obviously, I am not comparing the hateful injustices of segregation with the hatefully worded comments on an online forum. The only similarity they share is ignorance." didn't you get? I thought I had made that much very clear and safe from assumptions by out right saying it!!!

Really? Again with the name calling. Well, at least you are consistently hateful. I was hoping for a mature response, but apparently you can not get a point across without name calling and put downs.

What does it matter if this is a wedding website? I thought we were all mature, educated adults that could take part in such decisions. But then again, that would take longer than just thinking of insults to call me.

Thanks for your comment. I hope you have a great night!

DaringtoDream · January 2014

Fran1985 said:

If you ever compare yourself to Rosa Parks on an internet forum about weddings, you seriously need to take ten giant steps back from the internet.

Apparently, I was not clear enough! I am not comparing myself to Rosa Parks. I am nothing like Rosa Parks! I will never be anything like Rosa Parks!!!!!

Again, the comparison I was making was NOT that I am like Rosa Parks, but that Rosa Parks did something she didn't think was going to make any difference. I didn't think my post was going to make any difference and this was my only comparison!

I am convinced now that you don't really read my posts and then just draw conclusions on whatever the hell you want. I guess, I should have used an analogy based on cartoon characters to make my point. I thought we were all educated adults. I had no idea using a few great people to make a point would mean that I am anything like them.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

Can we just make a pact to let this one die? I'm really tired of reading OP's shit. I started off by trying to be nice and she just continues to whine. Any sympathy I had is now gone.

DaringtoDream · January 2014

JCBride2014 said:

Can we just make a pact to let this one die? I'm really tired of reading OP's shit. I started off by trying to be nice and she just continues to whine. Any sympathy I had is now gone.

Then don't read it or just hit the ignore button! Is it really that hard? How the hell was I whining? When is debating a point whining? I guess I missed the nice part.

Teddy917 · January 2014

@DaringtoDream
If you didn't think it would make a difference and you weren't trying to gain sympathy, then what was the point to your post? I get that some people just want to vent but if that was your intention, then why didn't you just ignore the bluntly honest comments?

MobKaz · January 2014

DaringtoDream said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

DaringtoDream said:

AddieL73 said:

So, basically, this thread was created to tell us to be nicer in our responses? Oh, good. We simply don't get enough of those around here. If you're a long time lurker as you claim, you should know how yawn-worthy such a post is.

ETA: I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen. They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me.

Basically, yes and you are the first person to arrive at that conclusion. Also, I assume by your sarcasm, that there are many others whom share a similar belief, which is nice to know.

If my post is so "yawn-worthy" why give it any attention and take the risk of boring yourself by posting a response?

"They, with their post, are somehow different than all the others who have said the exact same thing. It makes no sense to me."

You took the words right out of my mouth! I could not agree more, it makes no sense at all. Then, just when I think there can not possibly be another hateful way of telling me to get the fuck over it, it's just a pity party, there are no excuses, others have it worse, or no one gives a hairy rats ass, I am proven wrong. Although, I do have to give the name calling and video extra points for creativity.

Ironically, the same way you do not understand why the topic of this post is a reoccurring event, I do not understand why individuals feel it's necessary to continue posting redundant comments. Or maybe, just maybe, there are only so many topics pertaining to weddings and the only distinguishing factors about any of the topics are our personal stories/opinions.

"I just do not understand why people randomly come along from time to time thinking they, with their post, are going to change the climate of TK after all these years. They think that they, with their post, will somehow be the voice that makes it happen."

Why does anyone, anywhere, regardless if their views are popular with the majority, stand up for what they believe? Did Rosa Parks think that just by refusing to give up her seat on a bus, it would have such a profound impact on history? I seriously doubt it, just like I seriously doubt my post will cause anyone to reflect on how they formulate their responses.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result."

Obviously, I am not comparing the hateful injustices of segregation with the hatefully worded comments on an online forum. The only similarity they share is ignorance. It's impossible to have hate without ignorance. This does NOT mean anyone is stupid/ignorant. Only, that ignorance, which is a lack of knowledge or information can result in comments sounding very hateful.

For example:
@RebeccaB88 ""I can't have exactly what I really want, so I'm just not having anything at all." Isn't that what kindergarteners say when they don't like what's served for dinner? Good for you for making the ultimate sacrifice for your kid. No other parent has ever done that, ever, in history. You're the first."

When did I ever say in my post that if I could not have exactly what I really want, I'm just not going to have anything at all? The only thing I said was that I realized I could no longer have the wedding I intend because I was already married. I never said, I was not ever going to have "anything at all!"

Making assumptions just because I am selling my wedding dress or moving on does not translate into "not having anything at all." I do not need a big "poofy" wedding dress in order to have a celebration or vow renewal. So, for this reason, it's fair to compare me to a kindergartener whom doesn't like their dinner? Really?

Also, I NEVER claimed to be the "first parent in history" to make sacrifices for their child. I thought it was common knowledge that parenting in general comes with many sacrifices. Sharing my own personal experience was not intended to belittle or make void the sacrifices of other parents. Unfortunately, I just don't understand what it accomplishes by making a rude, hateful, snarky comment based only on your own assumptions.

Sorry, for any grammatical errors, I wrote this in a hurry.

Wait, I'm sorry -- did you SERIOUSLY just reference Mahatma Ghandi and Rosa Parks, two of the greatest civil rights leaders in the history of the world, in a post on a wedding website, in which you're trying to tell us to stop being big meanies and tell you you're a speshul snowflake who deserves a special day?

Really?

REALLY?!?!

R.E.A.L.L.Y.?!?!?!?

Please tell me that was a hyperbolic flight of verbal fantasy and not an expression of a delusion of grandeur that you think your struggle on TK is in any way even one-one-trillionth as important as either of the things those two people fought for.

Please.

Because before I just thought you were entitled and whingey. But this? This is beyond the pale even for an entitled speshul snowflake.

Do you live on here? lol Serious question, it just seems like whenever I post BAM! There you are!

The truth is no matter what references I made, quotes I used, or connections I made to try and make a point that was understandable, you would find something to bitch about. I could have agreed with everything you have ever done or said and you would STILL find something wrong with it!

The references were only made to make a point NOT compare similar struggles!!! I could have used fucking Bugs Bunny as a comparison and you were going to find something wrong with it!!!

What part of me stating/admitting "Obviously, I am not comparing the hateful injustices of segregation with the hatefully worded comments on an online forum. The only similarity they share is ignorance." didn't you get? I thought I had made that much very clear and safe from assumptions by out right saying it!!!

Really? Again with the name calling. Well, at least you are consistently hateful. I was hoping for a mature response, but apparently you can not get a point across without name calling and put downs.

What does it matter if this is a wedding website? I thought we were all mature, educated adults that could take part in such decisions. But then again, that would take longer than just thinking of insults to call me.

Thanks for your comment. I hope you have a great night!

@HisGirlFriday, I love what you've done to the house! Could use a tad bit more "rainbow", and perhaps a gnome in the yard........

Just Sharing My Story, A Long Vent!

Re: Just Sharing My Story, A Long Vent!

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