May 2014 Weddings

VENT!! Bridal shower drama

I'm so frustrated right now!  My maid of honor (best friend) and matron of honor (sister) are co-hosting my bridal shower on February 22, 2014.  My sister lives out of state, but loves planning parties.  My best friend is not so much of a planner, but both are paying a decent amount of money for this shower for me.  The invitations just went out yesterday and my sister and best friend are NOT communicating with each other -- rather they keep involving me because the two of them are not getting along.  I'm so annoyed.  My best friend wants nuts on the table, my sister hates the idea and I'm brought into the middle to resolve the issue (this is just ONE of many).  What do I do?  I love them both and am SO grateful for this shower, but I cannot deal with the stress of their arguing.  I've already said I don't want to be involved, but now my sister's feelings are hurt.  Ugh!!!

Re: VENT!! Bridal shower drama

  • They should be able to communicate like adults.  Are they both really young?  Have they met before?  It might be time to put your foot down with all of this nonsense.  (I mean nuts on the table? Seriously?) Next time one calls with an issue, just say "you need to talk to sister/best friend and work this out together since you're the planners"  And then change the subject.  Stick to your guns and have them figure it out.  I'm sure this isn't the first time you have hurt your sister's feelings in all the years you have grown up together.  I have brothers, and we have hurt each other plenty of times, but we still love one another.  Anyways that is my suggestion.  Just stop getting in the middle of it, and be no help at all when they have problems.  They should be able to hash it out like adults.  And I'm really sorry if this sounds harsh, I just don't have patience for grown-ass adults acting like they are still in high school.
  • i'm just curious to see responses on this one.  the people planning aren't arguing, they get along fine (we are all related) but I too am finding myself in the middle and don't want or have time for involvement!   I had them both coming to me trying to plan a date, because they were disagreeing with when it should be.   I just said I can't do X dates, and you need to make sure my best friend who lives out of state can be there and I left it at that.  
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Yeah, you need to tell the both of them that they need to grow up and leave you out of this. If they complain tell them that as the bride you should not be involved in the planning of your own shower beyond providing a guest list and available dates, and that they'll just have to handle the nuts themselves.

  • They are both in their 30s so old enough to know better! I know the nuts thing is silly, but that's just an idea of what I'm dealing with. They've met before bc I've known my best friend for years. They are just different personalities, but I'd think they'd be able to work together for the common goal! I already see the bachelorette party heading down this road and honestly, I'm not interested. Grrr :/
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    That sucks! I would just tell them that you will be happy with whatever they do and you are going to leave it up to them. Hopefully if you say that enough they will leave you out of it.

    My sister is my MOH. She's planning my bridal shower and bach party. Her two teenage daughters are BM's so they are helping with some of the stuff. I have one other BM who is my best friend. I told my sister she would help her with stuff, but my sister said she would just rather do what she wants and not have to worry about coordinating with someone else. LOL
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