Jobs for kids other than Flower Girls and Ring Bearers?

GinnaN · January 2014

Between my FI and I, we have 12 nieces and nephews. We've got two 11 year old nieces, two 9 year old nieces, one 8 year old nephew, two 7 year old nieces, one 7 year old nephew, an 6 year old nephew, two 3 year old nieces and a 2 year old niece.

We're thinking of having our three youngest nieces as flower girls, accompanied by our two 9 year old nieces, which we think will be cute, and then having our 6 year old nephew as the ring bearer. However, we do want to have all 12 of them in the wedding party, but we can only think of jobs for 6 of them. Do you guys know any other jobs for kids?

doeydo · January 2014

GinnaN said:

Between my FI and I, we have 12 nieces and nephews. We've got two 11 year old nieces, two 9 year old nieces, one 8 year old nephew, two 7 year old nieces, one 7 year old nephew, an 6 year old nephew, two 3 year old nieces and a 2 year old niece.

We're thinking of having our three youngest nieces as flower girls, accompanied by our two 9 year old nieces, which we think will be cute, and then having our 6 year old nephew as the ring bearer. However, we do want to have all 12 of them in the wedding party, but we can only think of jobs for 6 of them. Do you guys know any other jobs for kids?

Unless you are paying them, you shouldn't be offering them jobs. If you wanted, you could ask the older children be bridesmaids and groomsmen. Or, they could just help the little ones get down the aisle.

OliveOilsMom · January 2014

GinnaN said:

Between my FI and I, we have 12 nieces and nephews. We've got two 11 year old nieces, two 9 year old nieces, one 8 year old nephew, two 7 year old nieces, one 7 year old nephew, an 6 year old nephew, two 3 year old nieces and a 2 year old niece.

We're thinking of having our three youngest nieces as flower girls, accompanied by our two 9 year old nieces, which we think will be cute, and then having our 6 year old nephew as the ring bearer. However, we do want to have all 12 of them in the wedding party, but we can only think of jobs for 6 of them. Do you guys know any other jobs for kids?

There is no job that will be good enough for the rest of the kids. Imagine that some of the kids get to walk in the wedding and the rest just get to hand out programs or something. My advice is to have all of them or none of them.

Make the 11 and 9 years olds bridesmaids, the 8 year old boy as a GM, the 7 year olds girls as FGs and the 7 year old boy as RB. I think the rest of the girls could be labelded as FGs, but don't anticipate on them actually participating. That is very young and they may get stage fright when the time comes. So have them listed as FGs in the program, but don't expect them to make it down the aisle.

My 3 year old nephew was a RB, but there was no way he was making it down the aisle. He was listed in the program and I got him a gift for participating.

Also, be mindful of the cost of all of the attire necessary for these kids. Sometimes their attire can cost just as much or more than the adults. My SIL bought my nephews tuxes off amazon.com. Look for after Easter sales for dresses for the rest of the girls or even after Christmas depending on when your wedding is. Also, ask their parents' first to make sure its ok. Because they are the ones who will be paying for their attire.

Jen4948 · January 2014

The only roles for kids are ring bearer and flower girl, and these are for kids ages 3 or older. Kids younger than that don't know what they're doing and will not remember it later.

There is no need to create a role for every kid in your families or whom you interact with. But it is okay to have multiple ring bearers and flower girls. One thing: don't use wagons or have kids carry signs or ring bells. It may seem "cute," but many places don't allow wagons and it's dangerous. Also, your adult guests don't need a sign or a bell to know that the bride is coming or whatever else is happening, and it just doesn't come off as "cute."

Maggie0829 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

The only roles for kids are ring bearer and flower girl, and these are for kids ages 3 or older. Kids younger than that don't know what they're doing and will not remember it later.

There is no need to create a role for every kid in your families or whom you interact with. But it is okay to have multiple ring bearers and flower girls. One thing: don't use wagons or have kids carry signs or ring bells. It may seem "cute," but many places don't allow wagons and it's dangerous. Also, your adult guests don't need a sign or a bell to know that the bride is coming or whatever else is happening, and it just doesn't come off as "cute."

I don't remember anything from when I was 3 and I barely remember anything before I was 8 (gosh even older then that) so even if you use kids that are 3 or older there is a good chance that they won't remember it either.

Jen4948 · January 2014

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

The only roles for kids are ring bearer and flower girl, and these are for kids ages 3 or older. Kids younger than that don't know what they're doing and will not remember it later.

There is no need to create a role for every kid in your families or whom you interact with. But it is okay to have multiple ring bearers and flower girls. One thing: don't use wagons or have kids carry signs or ring bells. It may seem "cute," but many places don't allow wagons and it's dangerous. Also, your adult guests don't need a sign or a bell to know that the bride is coming or whatever else is happening, and it just doesn't come off as "cute."

I don't remember anything from when I was 3 and I barely remember anything before I was 8 (gosh even older then that) so even if you use kids that are 3 or older there is a good chance that they won't remember it either.

With a kid younger than 3, the best you can hope for is that they don't have a meltdown or just get stubborn like a mule and refuse to cooperate. Of course, that's also true of anyone older than 3, but again, they can understand to some extent what you're asking them to do.

tammym1001 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

The only roles for kids are ring bearer and flower girl, and these are for kids ages 3 or older. Kids younger than that don't know what they're doing and will not remember it later.

There is no need to create a role for every kid in your families or whom you interact with. But it is okay to have multiple ring bearers and flower girls. One thing: don't use wagons or have kids carry signs or ring bells. It may seem "cute," but many places don't allow wagons and it's dangerous. Also, your adult guests don't need a sign or a bell to know that the bride is coming or whatever else is happening, and it just doesn't come off as "cute."

I understand the wagon issue, but the rest of this is just your personal opinion. I've seen plenty of cute things that people have had their RB's or FG's carry. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that other people don't think it's cute. There's nothing wrong with carrying a sign or a bell if that's what they want to do.

AddieCake · January 2014

I'm of the opinion that if you have to think of roles for people to fill, you've got too many people in your wedding party.

Maggie0829 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

The only roles for kids are ring bearer and flower girl, and these are for kids ages 3 or older. Kids younger than that don't know what they're doing and will not remember it later.

There is no need to create a role for every kid in your families or whom you interact with. But it is okay to have multiple ring bearers and flower girls. One thing: don't use wagons or have kids carry signs or ring bells. It may seem "cute," but many places don't allow wagons and it's dangerous. Also, your adult guests don't need a sign or a bell to know that the bride is coming or whatever else is happening, and it just doesn't come off as "cute."

I don't remember anything from when I was 3 and I barely remember anything before I was 8 (gosh even older then that) so even if you use kids that are 3 or older there is a good chance that they won't remember it either.

With a kid younger than 3, the best you can hope for is that they don't have a meltdown or just get stubborn like a mule and refuse to cooperate. Of course, that's also true of anyone older than 3, but again, they can understand to some extent what you're asking them to do.

I'm not saying that it is good idea to have kids younger then 3 in the wedding, all I am saying is that even if you go by the 3 year old age limit those kids aren't going to remember that they were in a wedding when they grow up. The only way they will remember is by looking at pictures.

Honestly, I don't think kids under the age of 10 should be in weddings. I just don't think that they really understand what is truly going on and what their role is at a younger age.

Jen4948 · January 2014

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

The only roles for kids are ring bearer and flower girl, and these are for kids ages 3 or older. Kids younger than that don't know what they're doing and will not remember it later.

There is no need to create a role for every kid in your families or whom you interact with. But it is okay to have multiple ring bearers and flower girls. One thing: don't use wagons or have kids carry signs or ring bells. It may seem "cute," but many places don't allow wagons and it's dangerous. Also, your adult guests don't need a sign or a bell to know that the bride is coming or whatever else is happening, and it just doesn't come off as "cute."

I don't remember anything from when I was 3 and I barely remember anything before I was 8 (gosh even older then that) so even if you use kids that are 3 or older there is a good chance that they won't remember it either.

With a kid younger than 3, the best you can hope for is that they don't have a meltdown or just get stubborn like a mule and refuse to cooperate. Of course, that's also true of anyone older than 3, but again, they can understand to some extent what you're asking them to do.

I'm not saying that it is good idea to have kids younger then 3 in the wedding, all I am saying is that even if you go by the 3 year old age limit those kids aren't going to remember that they were in a wedding when they grow up. The only way they will remember is by looking at pictures.

Honestly, I don't think kids under the age of 10 should be in weddings. I just don't think that they really understand what is truly going on and what their role is at a younger age.

When it comes to kids under 10, I'm willing to make an allowance for kids between the ages of 3 and 10. They might remember, they might not. But I think that whether or not they can remember in the short term and understand what they're being asked to do would be the qualifying criteria for me-not whether or not they can remember decades down the road.

Jen4948 · January 2014

tammym1001 said:

Jen4948 said:

The only roles for kids are ring bearer and flower girl, and these are for kids ages 3 or older. Kids younger than that don't know what they're doing and will not remember it later.

There is no need to create a role for every kid in your families or whom you interact with. But it is okay to have multiple ring bearers and flower girls. One thing: don't use wagons or have kids carry signs or ring bells. It may seem "cute," but many places don't allow wagons and it's dangerous. Also, your adult guests don't need a sign or a bell to know that the bride is coming or whatever else is happening, and it just doesn't come off as "cute."

I understand the wagon issue, but the rest of this is just your personal opinion. I've seen plenty of cute things that people have had their RB's or FG's carry. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that other people don't think it's cute. There's nothing wrong with carrying a sign or a bell if that's what they want to do.

I stand by my opinion. "Cute" or not, this is a wedding, which is a union of two adults. Not to mention, it takes too long for all those kids to get down the aisle, and those signs are often too small to be read because kids that small can't carry bigger signs. And the bells are unnecessary.

Look, weddings are not the equivalent of school plays or parent day at camp. Sometimes kids need to accept, and so do the adults in their lives, that they are not entitled to be the stars of the show every single minute of every occasion, even if extended family are present.

vmj23 · January 2014

A couple of them can do readings - that's what my oldest 2 nephews are doing. I'm also having 2 ring bearers instead of 1 because i didn't want to leave any of my niece or nephew's out.

GinnaN · January 2014

Can anybody explain ringing of bells thing to me? I've never heard of that before and it sounds cute.

But I do need to give them all different roles, not because they will fight, but because I love them to pieces, and they are as important to me as my brother and sister and FBIL. And I'm simply not happy with the junior bridesmaid/groomsmen thing, I don't think it's fit well.

Maggie0829 · January 2014

GinnaN said:

Can anybody explain ringing of bells thing to me? I've never heard of that before and it sounds cute.

But I do need to give them all different roles, not because they will fight, but because I love them to pieces, and they are as important to me as my brother and sister and FBIL. And I'm simply not happy with the junior bridesmaid/groomsmen thing, I don't think it's fit well.

Well there really aren't many roles in a wedding. You have flower girl, ring bearer, reader, bridesmaid, and groomsman. That is it. Anything else just sounds made up because it is.

As far as the ringing of the bells. I can only guess that is when two small kids walk down the aisle ringing bells and announcing the bride is coming.

Look I understand that you love your nieces and nephews but I am sure that you love a lot of the people coming to your wedding but you aren't giving roles to everyone are you?

OliveOilsMom · January 2014

Ditto Maggie. There are only so many roles for a wedding until you start looking desperate trying to create them.

Can't you just have a few pictures snapped with you and your nieces/nephews on your wedding day?

Jen4948 · January 2014

GinnaN said:

Can anybody explain ringing of bells thing to me? I've never heard of that before and it sounds cute.

But I do need to give them all different roles, not because they will fight, but because I love them to pieces, and they are as important to me as my brother and sister and FBIL. And I'm simply not happy with the junior bridesmaid/groomsmen thing, I don't think it's fit well.

As to the ringing of bells, isn't that what the organ or piano music, or recording, is supposed to announce? Little kids ringing bells on top of that is a cacophony and unnecessary.

You don't need roles, let alone different roles, for everyone at your wedding, adult or kid.

"Guest" is an honored role for kids as well as adults.

kmmssg · January 2014

There just aren't that many other legitimate rolls to cover all of them. My POV: Children of all ages need to learn the lesson that sometimes they are not the one chosen for a special role, or sometimes a sibling gets to do something and they don't. It is an invaluable lesson to learn and many parents just won't let their special snowflake go down that road for fear of hurt feelings.

I understand that you love them all, think they are special and want them all to be involved. There just aren't that many roles without adding bridesmaids and groomsmen. It IS ok to teach them that they are still loved and wanted at the wedding without giving them a role in it.

JennyColada · January 2014

What about having the kids walk down the aisle with a sign saying "I'm a kid so I have to be included because I'm a kid!" Because essentially that's all you're doing.

All snarkiness aside, I suppose you could have some older kids be ushers of some sort, or help pass out programs or something? But it does feel a bit odd and forced. Do they all have an interest in being involved? Not all kids want to be in the spotlight.

lyndausvi · January 2014

There is really only so many rolls to go around. The only ones that are required are the first 3 (maybe 4th depending on the location).

You have:

officiant,

bride (x 2 if lesbian wedding)

groom (x2 if gay wedding)

witness (depends on state/location. Some do not require any, others up to 2)

MOH

Best Man

BM (some will add Junior BM. I just call them all BM)

GM (some will add Junior GM. Again I just them all GM)

usher

flower girl

ring bearer

reader

I've heard having a kid walk down a 'here comes the bride sign. Never seen it in real life.

For Catholic weddings there are few more like bringing up the gifts. Other religions might also have something similar.

Those are pretty much your choices. Pick one or just have them as regular guests. But not make up stupid jobs just to "included" them. I have 7 nieces and nephews. We had them as BM and GMs. Work out just fine.

jneen101 · January 2014

Can they be bridesmaids and groomsmen?

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

GinnaN said:

Between my FI and I, we have 12 nieces and nephews. We've got two 11 year old nieces, two 9 year old nieces, one 8 year old nephew, two 7 year old nieces, one 7 year old nephew, an 6 year old nephew, two 3 year old nieces and a 2 year old niece.

We're thinking of having our three youngest nieces as flower girls, accompanied by our two 9 year old nieces, which we think will be cute, and then having our 6 year old nephew as the ring bearer. However, we do want to have all 12 of them in the wedding party, but we can only think of jobs for 6 of them. Do you guys know any other jobs for kids?

I'm having two "Pages", boys ages 6-8 help hand out programs before the ceremony. I'm having two girls middle school aged be "Ladies in Waiting" - they are straightening my 11 foot long veil and train at the altar for my MOH since theres so much material and the girls are OBSESSED with wedding dresses, say yes to the dress, and went dress shopping with me.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

GinnaN said:

Between my FI and I, we have 12 nieces and nephews. We've got two 11 year old nieces, two 9 year old nieces, one 8 year old nephew, two 7 year old nieces, one 7 year old nephew, an 6 year old nephew, two 3 year old nieces and a 2 year old niece.

We're thinking of having our three youngest nieces as flower girls, accompanied by our two 9 year old nieces, which we think will be cute, and then having our 6 year old nephew as the ring bearer. However, we do want to have all 12 of them in the wedding party, but we can only think of jobs for 6 of them. Do you guys know any other jobs for kids?

I'm having two "Pages", boys ages 6-8 help hand out programs before the ceremony. I'm having two girls middle school aged be "Ladies in Waiting" - they are straightening my 11 foot long veil and train at the altar for my MOH since theres so much material and the girls are OBSESSED with wedding dresses, say yes to the dress, and went dress shopping with me.

While this is a nice idea, I don't see how it's going to work logistically. I think the teens are just going to get in your MOH's way.

It only takes one person to adjust and "fluff" a train and veil, regardless of the length.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

Get ready ladies, the TK Newsletter had a link to this thread today. . . .

8r1d3283 · February 2014

I am having the same issue. But we only have nephews. The oldest is part of the groomsmen. The youngest is going to carry the rings and the middle 3 are going to be ushers. We did toss around the idea of having a flower girl, who is a baby and too young to walk, being wheeled out in a wagon by one of the boys. It's still an option we are considering. Happy planning!!

PATYH · February 2014

I am an older bride and am having my grandchildren in our wedding.You could have two ring bearers
two flower girls and two holding a banner as I am making for them which says "Here comes the bride".You could have the others guiding and directing,or have two separate sets one for the precession and one set for the recession

hannerbomo22 · February 2014

I have a ton of cousins and nieces and nephews that I want to be in my wedding so we are having a "parade". My wedding does not have anything traditional in it. So for someone to tell me I can't do something or there isn't a role... I say "challenge accepted." For the parade they will walk down the aisle one at a time with some type of signage with possible bible verses, quotes, something like that and then all the bridesmaids will come.

galeguzman29 · February 2014

You could have the older boys as page boys. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Page_boy

You can also have the older girls as junior bridesmaids. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridesmaid

sarahbeiter · February 2014

1. YOU are the bride. So you and your fiancee can do whatever it is that you want. If you want 7 flower girls and 5 ring bearers, who cares! Little kids LOVE being in weddings and are probably the only ones who really want to be in a wedding when all is said and done. Ditch the rules and do what you want. Jr ushers, someone to hand out the programs, bubble distributors, and anything else you can think of can be their role. I have junior ushers who are walking ladies down and handing out programs. Sure, its your day but is it really worth using that day to teach a kid that life isn't fair?

Maggie0829 · February 2014

1. YOU are the bride. So you and your fiancee can do whatever it is that you want. If you want 7 flower girls and 5 ring bearers, who cares! Little kids LOVE being in weddings and are probably the only ones who really want to be in a wedding when all is said and done. Ditch the rules and do what you want. Jr ushers, someone to hand out the programs, bubble distributors, and anything else you can think of can be their role. I have junior ushers who are walking ladies down and handing out programs. Sure, its your day but is it really worth using that day to teach a kid that life isn't fair?

When I was a kid I would have hated to be in a wedding. Like, would have rather spent my day doing chores or reading then be in a wedding.

And when is a good time to teach a kid that life isn't always fair? I personally think that everyday is a good day to teach this to a child, even on someone's wedding day.

aplatt3 · February 2014

Unlike many of the posts here, I think you can find a way to include all the kids and give them each a special job to do. We have 10 children involved in our wedding. The two youngest girls (2 and 4) are flower girls, the 3 youngest boys are ring bearers (1, 3, 6), the older girls are bridal attendants (8, 9, 10), and the older boys are ushers (both 13). The bridal attendants will have jobs like passing out bubbles after the ceremony for the exit, making sure people sign the guest book, helping find place cards, etc. Our ushers are old enough to do the job on their own, but you can certainly have younger boys serve as ushers or assistant ushers as well.

Not everyone has to purchase a new and matching outfit. We are having our bridal attendants just wear a light grey dress of their choosing and I am having matching flower headbands for them. With the boys, we are just asking them to wear the same tie. It does not need to be overly expensive to include more people in your wedding.

There are so many little details involved in a wedding that you can certainly find little jobs for kids to do. Even if they are not necessary jobs or things that would be fine on their own, I think it is important to involve as many people as you can, especially with regards to children. It keeps them occupied and focused knowing they have a special job.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

aplatt3 said:

Unlike many of the posts here, I think you can find a way to include all the kids and give them each a special job to do. We have 10 children involved in our wedding. The two youngest girls (2 and 4) are flower girls, the 3 youngest boys are ring bearers (1, 3, 6), the older girls are bridal attendants (8, 9, 10), and the older boys are ushers (both 13). The bridal attendants will have jobs like passing out bubbles after the ceremony for the exit, making sure people sign the guest book, helping find place cards, etc. Our ushers are old enough to do the job on their own, but you can certainly have younger boys serve as ushers or assistant ushers as well.

Not everyone has to purchase a new and matching outfit. We are having our bridal attendants just wear a light grey dress of their choosing and I am having matching flower headbands for them. With the boys, we are just asking them to wear the same tie. It does not need to be overly expensive to include more people in your wedding.

There are so many little details involved in a wedding that you can certainly find little jobs for kids to do. Even if they are not necessary jobs or things that would be fine on their own, I think it is important to involve as many people as you can, especially with regards to children. It keeps them occupied and focused knowing they have a special job.

Seriously? You expect an 8, 9 and 10 year old to be that focused for that amount of time to help people find their place cards and sign the guest book? I give them 10 minutes before they are off and running around and playing.

Jobs for kids other than Flower Girls and Ring Bearers?

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