Confessions

Dignity100 · January 2014

@phira - It sounds like you're over-thinking it. For wedding dresses, we only get one go and it's usually a pricey purchase so some sort of 'buyers remorse' is very likely. As far as it being too poofy for you to dance in, could you get a backup dress for a 'reception dress' (I'd say something short and maybe from a department store so if you don't wear/need it you can just return it).

Sakalicious · January 2014

I confess that I don't plan on thinking about work at all for the next 2 days because my 8-day experiment failed and I just want to drown myself in wine and chocolate.

I confess that I just bought "The Feel Good Handbook" to help with my depression and anxiety and I bought a sparkly new notebook for the written exercises.

I confess that H and I talked about wanting to improve our eating habits and get in better routines in terms of balancing work and spending time together, and we haven't done so well with that over the past few days. By the time we get home, we're exhausted so we end up eating, watching a little TV, and crashing.

Peaseblossom55 · January 2014

@phira I remember the dress it was beautiful!!!

I also confess my workout habit has been non existent. I need to fix this.

I also confess I plan on going home and drinking all the wine!! Although I'm think it may just need to be...drink all the vodka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dignity100 · January 2014

lmhollister said:

I confess that I feel like I'm never going to be thin. I'm having a really hard time staying motivated when it's been a strong three or four weeks of really focusing on my diet and starting to do some exercise and I'm still not seeing results. I just want it to be warm out. I always feel more drive when I can go outside and be active without my feet and hands going numb from the cold.

I hear you!!!! I have been eating EVERYTHING in sight lately. I need to lose about 20lbs to feel more comfortable on my road bike; 40lbs to get a discount on my health insurance at work, 60-70lbs to get my doctor to stop yelling at me about my weight.

I wish I had advice for you, but just know you're not alone!!

Hummingbird125 · January 2014

BriSox81 said:
- I confess that sometimes BF does or says things that make me BSC and think that he's ready to propose IMMEDIATELY. I further confess that I sometimes get disappointed that it hasn't happened yet - and that he hasn't asked to see the ring I like (when we had our talk, I told him that when he was ready, I would show him. I go back & forth on whether he's forgotten or just doesn't want to know.)

I had similar thoughts all the time before FI proposed, and once he did, I asked him all of the questions I didn't ask him before (so I wouldn't seem too BSC). Apparently he knew several months ago that he was going to propose around Christmas, but he didn't even check in with me about my ring preferences until he was pretty much ready to purchase. Although if I had to BET on it, I would have said that he probably wasn't even thinking about proposing within the very near future, in actuality he had already decided that he didn't want to attend another family event without being engaged. He was also worried that one of our siblings would get engaged soon and "beat us" to it. I definitely don't think guys think about all this nearly as much as we do, but they definitely think of it. In my opinion, your BF probably has a pretty good idea of when he's going to be ready to propose, but he also likely (rightly) thinks that once he asks you for the info about your ring, you're going to be expecting him to propose within a matter of weeks. I doubt he'd want to get your hopes up if he's not planning on doing it that quickly. However - I know that before I sent then-BF my ideas about the kind of ring I'd want, he was under the impression he'd have to spend around 10k - he was very happily surprised when he realized my expectations were far more reasonable than that. I know yours are too, and if you haven't made that clear to him already, maybe you can find a way to do so without saying "HERE IS THE RING I WANT!". I'm not saying that's the only thing that's standing in the way of a proposal, but I know that in my situation, if I hadn't made that one issue clear, my FI probably would have been planning on waiting until he had 10k saved... lol

KeptInStitches · January 2014

I confess that I'm scared of getting engaged to BF. I strongly suspect he's going to ask in the next few months (I've been told as much), and I don't know if it's making me blow our recent arguments out of proportion or not. I don't know really how to say it -- it's like we had an argument over communication and now some BSC part of me is thinking we'll never communicate successfully. He's been the one holding back when I've been trying to push forward -- what's wrong with me now?

ETA: I further confess that I'm probably mostly being neurotic because of an overall lack of sleep. I think.

buddysmom80 · January 2014

@swazzle I agree with you about the dog thing. I love Quigley to pieces but it's such a production to get a weekend away (it may be better now that's he neutered though...).

-I confess I'm more excited about my honeymoon than my wedding.

-I confess that I asked my bridal party to be in the wedding (total etiquette faux pas, I know) and they all said yes!

-I confess that my MOH is OBSESSED with getting pregnant that she wants me to "keep in mind maternity styles for BM dresses". Um, no.

-I confess that FI and I are going to TTC November this year. JFC, I could be a parent.

-I confess that I feel like I have saved so much money on this wedding that I should get the dress I want

-I confess that I really have to poop.

-I confess that I go back and forth with inviting an ex-BF to the wedding. We've been friends since we were 10 years old so technically we were friends longer than BF/GF but still, it could be weird. He's married now though, but still.

GoldenPenguin · January 2014

Hummingbird125 said:

BriSox81 said:
- I confess that sometimes BF does or says things that make me BSC and think that he's ready to propose IMMEDIATELY. I further confess that I sometimes get disappointed that it hasn't happened yet - and that he hasn't asked to see the ring I like (when we had our talk, I told him that when he was ready, I would show him. I go back & forth on whether he's forgotten or just doesn't want to know.)

I had similar thoughts all the time before FI proposed, and once he did, I asked him all of the questions I didn't ask him before (so I wouldn't seem too BSC). Apparently he knew several months ago that he was going to propose around Christmas, but he didn't even check in with me about my ring preferences until he was pretty much ready to purchase. Although if I had to BET on it, I would have said that he probably wasn't even thinking about proposing within the very near future, in actuality he had already decided that he didn't want to attend another family event without being engaged. He was also worried that one of our siblings would get engaged soon and "beat us" to it. I definitely don't think guys think about all this nearly as much as we do, but they definitely think of it. In my opinion, your BF probably has a pretty good idea of when he's going to be ready to propose, but he also likely (rightly) thinks that once he asks you for the info about your ring, you're going to be expecting him to propose within a matter of weeks. I doubt he'd want to get your hopes up if he's not planning on doing it that quickly. However - I know that before I sent then-BF my ideas about the kind of ring I'd want, he was under the impression he'd have to spend around 10k - he was very happily surprised when he realized my expectations were far more reasonable than that. I know yours are too, and if you haven't made that clear to him already, maybe you can find a way to do so without saying "HERE IS THE RING I WANT!". I'm not saying that's the only thing that's standing in the way of a proposal, but I know that in my situation, if I hadn't made that one issue clear, my FI probably would have been planning on waiting until he had 10k saved... lol

@hummingbird125 Thank you so much for this. You're probably right that even if he IS thinking about it, he wouldn't want me to get my hopes up. I have told him that the ring I want is cheaper than the mattress I bought, so he knows it's at least cheaper than $2,500 haha.

You're the best

phira · January 2014

Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate hearing your support. I'm tempted to find a reception dress that's just a little less bulky, but I think that what I need to do is 1) have my dress shortened NOW instead of waiting till my first fitting (it's cut for someone 5'10" and I'm 5'5"!), and 2) get my partner to be okay seeing me in the dress before the wedding so I can wear it a little around the apartment and get used to it. So I'm not feeling like I'm playing dress up.

@KeptInStitches My partner and I had three or four really epic, terrible, awful fights right before we got engaged. They were so bad that we actually had to see a counselor immediately. At one point, I was threatening to move out.

Most of the fights were over real things that were (and are) still real things that we're dealing with. But one of the things that made the fights so terrible was that I really was feeling very, "HOW am I supposed to deal with these problems for the REST OF MY LIFE?!" I don't think fighting a lot before an engagement (or wedding) is practically required, but I do think it's normal.

@lmhollister @Dignity100 I've spent yeeeeears working on body positivity, and it's honestly been almost a relief for me to just operate under the assumption that I'm always going to be 170-180lbs and a size 14. I've also started dumping doctors who bring up my weight, especially if it happens more than once, and/or after tests show that I'm perfectly healthy. I feel like life would be easier if I were thinner, but not because of anything fundamentally wrong with me. Just easier because there would be less judgment and pressure, because there would be more/better clothing options, because people would STOP asking me about my weight. Not because I'd actually be happier.

@buddysmom80 We are inviting one of my partner's exes to the wedding. They dated in 8th grade and again in college (only for a couple months each time); she's one of his oldest friends and he feels like she's a cousin to him. I'm worried that she'll be uncomfortable attending (he's said some things that make me think it'll make her sad to see him get married), but I hope that if that's the case, she'll feel okay declining. It sounds like you and your ex are good friends and if it weren't for the fact that you dated, you'd definitely invite him.

@Sakalicious Oh my god. I am so sorry about your experiment. UGH. Sometimes I hate science so much. So much.

CLoGreenEyes · January 2014

@KeptInStitches, I think that kinda-sorta makes sense, actually. It's like now that you know this is going to become a legally lifelong thing, you want to get everything right and make sure you're setting yourselves up for success. (I'm totally projecting how I would feel in that situation, so please correct me if I'm wrong.) So I don't think there's anything wrong with you - sounds normal to me.

I just hope that with that will come the extra lovey-dovey kind of feeling, like, "Look at this awesome person that I'm going to be engaged/married to!"

ETA:

@Phira, I'm with everybody else, I thought the dress was rockin', smokin' hot!

@LivLeighton,

*hugs* We are both gonna figure this out. And just know that I think you're awesome and I hope you feel much, much better very soon. (And I further hope that both of these dudes just work their shit out already so we don't have to feel quite so crazy for missing them like this.

CLoGreenEyes · January 2014

I further confess that I have no idea what I'm going to make for my friends for dinner tomorrow. My go-to is stuffed shells and salad, but, given that it's my go-to, I'm pretty sure I made it the last time they were over. I don't know what else to make, especially since I'm craving pot roast right now and one of my friends is vegetarian. I'm soooooooooo tempted to just order pizza but I think I might throw up if I do. HELP.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

@CLoGreenEyes: spinach lasagne? I have a recipe!

labro · January 2014

@CLoGreenEyes

How about Mushroom Risotto (clicky)? It's one of my favorite recipes. The risotto is annoying to make but totally worth it. I'd do that and some sort of salad.

Or any of these. I've made them and they are all excellent!

Tortellini Spinach Bake (without the bacon, still tastes awesome!)

Spinach and Cheese Stuffed Shells

Or this one. I haven't made it yet but it sounds like a really awesome take on lasagna.

Zucchini Lasagna from Skinny Taste

CLoGreenEyes · January 2014

Mmmmmm pasta. Thanks @HisGirlFriday13 and @lmhollister! I like the tortellini one, I think I'll try that tomorrow.

Shiroyasha · January 2014

I confess that it's only three weeks into the semester and I hate it already. With working almost full time and going to school on my only days off, I'm so worn out already.

I confess that I might have been a little snippy with people today at work. I was a little pissed off that no one wanted to give me their attention at the register when I'm giving them all of mine. There are a bajillion other things I could give a fraction of my attention to while working at registers, but then I feel like I'm not giving great customer service.

I confess that my Christmas tree is still up and decorated. I'm too lazy and too busy to take it down.

I confess that I have no sympathy for my sick coworkers. I've called out a grand total of maybe five times in my first year. Three of those I was in the hospital for. My other coworkers call out left and right. I just worked with the flu. I didn't call out. I didn't go home early. I stayed because I know how much stress it would cause the rest of my team. I'm sorry they are sick, but they can suck it up and deal with it.

I confess that I'm probably going to be the strictest supervisor at my store. I'm a very by-the-books type of person and I will be honest if Bossman asks me if I see anything happening that's not supposed to.

And @swazzle, I know how that feels. There are some days where I wish we didn't have Freddie. We have to take her into consideration for everything now. I love her and all, but she requires so much time and attention and I can't take her everywhere with me. I can't even go visit my family that often anymore because we have to figure out what to do with her and she gets carsick. Olive is much easier. As long as we leave her enough food and water, she's great to be on her own.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

Shiroyasha said:

I confess that it's only three weeks into the semester and I hate it already. With working almost full time and going to school on my only days off, I'm so worn out already.

I confess that I might have been a little snippy with people today at work. I was a little pissed off that no one wanted to give me their attention at the register when I'm giving them all of mine. There are a bajillion other things I could give a fraction of my attention to while working at registers, but then I feel like I'm not giving great customer service.

I confess that my Christmas tree is still up and decorated. I'm too lazy and too busy to take it down.

I confess that I have no sympathy for my sick coworkers. I've called out a grand total of maybe five times in my first year. Three of those I was in the hospital for. My other coworkers call out left and right. I just worked with the flu. I didn't call out. I didn't go home early. I stayed because I know how much stress it would cause the rest of my team. I'm sorry they are sick, but they can suck it up and deal with it.

I confess that I'm probably going to be the strictest supervisor at my store. I'm a very by-the-books type of person and I will be honest if Bossman asks me if I see anything happening that's not supposed to.

And @swazzle, I know how that feels. There are some days where I wish we didn't have Freddie. We have to take her into consideration for everything now. I love her and all, but she requires so much time and attention and I can't take her everywhere with me. I can't even go visit my family that often anymore because we have to figure out what to do with her and she gets carsick. Olive is much easier. As long as we leave her enough food and water, she's great to be on her own.

I judge this hardcore. THIS is how the flu spreads. if you're sick/running a fever/contagious then STAY HOME and don't spread your dirty little germs to the rest of us.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

Shiroyasha said:

I confess that it's only three weeks into the semester and I hate it already. With working almost full time and going to school on my only days off, I'm so worn out already.

I confess that I might have been a little snippy with people today at work. I was a little pissed off that no one wanted to give me their attention at the register when I'm giving them all of mine. There are a bajillion other things I could give a fraction of my attention to while working at registers, but then I feel like I'm not giving great customer service.

I confess that my Christmas tree is still up and decorated. I'm too lazy and too busy to take it down.

I confess that I have no sympathy for my sick coworkers. I've called out a grand total of maybe five times in my first year. Three of those I was in the hospital for. My other coworkers call out left and right. I just worked with the flu. I didn't call out. I didn't go home early. I stayed because I know how much stress it would cause the rest of my team. I'm sorry they are sick, but they can suck it up and deal with it.

I confess that I'm probably going to be the strictest supervisor at my store. I'm a very by-the-books type of person and I will be honest if Bossman asks me if I see anything happening that's not supposed to.

And @swazzle, I know how that feels. There are some days where I wish we didn't have Freddie. We have to take her into consideration for everything now. I love her and all, but she requires so much time and attention and I can't take her everywhere with me. I can't even go visit my family that often anymore because we have to figure out what to do with her and she gets carsick. Olive is much easier. As long as we leave her enough food and water, she's great to be on her own.

I judge this hardcore. THIS is how the flu spreads. if you're sick/running a fever/contagious then STAY HOME and don't spread your dirty little germs to the rest of us.

phira · January 2014

I think that in a perfect world, people would stay home when they were sick. It's better for EVERYONE (don't make your illness worse, recover faster, don't spread it to other people). But I also know that this isn't a perfect world. If you have limited sick days, and you use them up (or if you have kids and have to use them up when your kids are sick), then you're going to have to work while sick. Or if you have NO sick days. We still live in a world where people get fired for missing work due to illness.

That said, if you work a job where you CAN stay home sick without being fired, then please stay home.

IllusionsDepths · January 2014

I confess, that I am recently back on this site, so I'm feeling a bit lost...but I need to socialize...as I am a hermit thanks to my job

I confess that neither my BF or I have time in the week to do laundry and tonight will be my 7th(?) day of wearing my favorite jeans...yes I'm ashamed, but they already have salt on them from the darn snow storms and the roads and all that yuck, and they're warm and really cute and I have to somewhat presentable tomorrow morning as we're having a house meeting that I really don't want to go to...

I confess that I've been in wedding/baby mode for a few months now...and while my BF loves it we don't have the money/security to do either right now. On a side note, he did say that he would love it is I proposed to him...and I know what I want to do lol....but I'm not sure when.

And finally, I confess that I have been really into my oracle cards lately.

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