How many women feel like "whatever my husband says, goes"? It seems like like women have fought so hard to not just let someone dictate every aspect of their life. My fiance and I talk about what we want, and we go from there. I'm sorry but for women to say " my husband does not "allow" me to go or do something is really crazy to me. Also I would like to add that I am not "trolling". All it is, is I see women (not only here) but other places where I see the man has "to keep his place". My question is, what is a "man's place"?
Re: I was just wondering...
Before I was with my husband I worked all the time and traveled a lot for work. Once we started dating and got into a more serious relationship I started not traveling as much; and especially once I moved to run the business with him/ got engaged/married I have no desire to travel so am much more picky on the jobs I take (I still do contract work here and there). A friend once said "oh does your fiance not allow you to work as much!?" Um, no thank you but I just choose to not travel/work as much.
We were being pressured buy rug sellers while we were on a ship's excursion. My husband looked very nervous, and I thought he was going to bolt.
I sighed, and told the rug salesman, "Oh, it is a beautiful rug. It is the nicest one I have ever seen. But, alas, my husband will not allow me to purchase it. I must be an obedient wife and obey my husband."
I knew that in their culture, this was final. Husband took the hint, and crossed his arms and scowled at me. No more rug salesmen.
The truth is that we long ago worked out our areas of control. We always consult each other on any major purchase, but when it's jewelry, decor or clothing, I decide. If it's electronics or auto related, he decides.
So far we've had an easy relationship because we tend to agree on things. We talk about options. As other posters say, it can come down to who cares more. I'm all about "partnership."
You were asking if one day someone's significant other woke up and changed their entire behavior...that would be a neurological issue. People don't drastically change their entire personality over night.
What if there were all of a sudden unicorns in your front yard and your house was made of rainbows that sat on a cloud?
These instances are few and far between and are usually the result of an already abusive relationship or a mental/physical illness. Usually there are signs of abuse that people ignore before getting married thinking marriage will change the person.
Signs of control and abuse do not usually flip on from level zero right after marriage unless you did not spend more than a week with the person you are marrying. Sometimes we lie to ourselves about abuse and ignore the signs.
And no, I have never actually heard of anyone treating someone like gold then changing to control their significant other. I have not known anyone this has happened to in my little section of people I know.
If I want to go to a concert and we are short on funds, I might consult him.
If I want to replace our sofa set, we talk about it and go shopping together.