Vow Renewal Dress Code

HarlequinnAshford · February 2014

So its our five year anniversary and we are doing a vow renewal. My dress will be lilac and my maid of honor will be wearing dark purple, as is the color theme for the event. What is the best way to put on the reception card/invite that people not wear purple? I dont want to just write "Dont wear purple" cause obviously that seems rude, but I really dont want anyone matching me or my Maid of Honor, its basically the same principle as someone not wearing white to a wedding, only that usually goes unsaid so ugh Im stuck and need help.

cruffino · February 2014

You don't. There is no proper way to tell adults what or what not to wear. Sorry, this is one if those things you just have to let go.

cruffino · February 2014

Just a feeling...

HarlequinnAshford said:
So its our five year anniversary and we are doing a vow renewal. My dress will be lilac and my maid of honor will be wearing dark purple, as is the color theme for the event. What is the best way to put on the reception card/invite that people not wear purple? I dont want to just write "Dont wear purple" cause obviously that seems rude, but I really dont want anyone matching me or my Maid of Honor, its basically the same principle as someone not wearing white to a wedding, only that usually goes unsaid so ugh Im stuck and need help.

rajahmd · February 2014

Sorry, no can do. It's rude to tell people how to dress. Part of choosing a non - traditional color is risking someone wearing a similar one. What you can do is spread the fact that your dress is purple via word of mouth. Most people will avoid wearing that color if they already know you are wearing it. But you can't put it on your invite, reception card, or even your wedding website.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

Yes, please don't put anything on your invitation, inserts, website, etc. about guests' attire. There are several threads on here which go into quite a lot of detail about why this is rude and probably won't change what guests will wear anyway.

Rajah's idea of spreading through word of mouth that you are wearing purple is fine. Tell your chattiest friends, "I found this purple dress and I'm so excited!" They will probably spread the word and guests may choose to avoid wearing the same color as you.

But don't worry, even if somebody shows up in purple, it won't ruin your day. Everyone will still know you are the wife renewing your vows.

Jen4948 · February 2014

You can't make this request at all. It's not up to you to decide what other people wear.

SammiNJonni · February 2014

You can not dictate your guests attire. Like pp said if you spread that you are wearing purple word of mouth people should take the hint to not wear it.

lyndausvi · February 2014

You can spread word of mouth that you are wearing purple. I'm sure women will try and stay away from that color. (lets face it, you don't actually mean anyone ,you mean you don't want some bitch to wear the same color).

Women are just so funny when it comes others wearing the same color. I wish I was a guy sometimes so I can just wear what I want without wondering if the color I'm wearing is matching someone else.

manateehugger · February 2014

Just start yammering excitedly to anyone and everyone that you are so excited about your purple dress. That's really the only thing you can do without being rude.

freebread03 · February 2014

Why are you having a maid of honor for a vow renewal?

JaxInBlue · February 2014

Agree with PPs. You can't tell people outright not to wear purple, but you can tell your family's chatty Kathy how excited you are about your purple dress. You could also use the color purple on your invites. Generally, if a bride uses a specific color on her wedding invites, I tend not to wear that color, in case that is a wedding color. I guess the same thing might happen for a wedding vow renewal?

mimiphin · February 2014

HarlequinnAshford said:

So its our five year anniversary and we are doing a vow renewal. My dress will be lilac and my maid of honor will be wearing dark purple, as is the color theme for the event. What is the best way to put on the reception card/invite that people not wear purple? I dont want to just write "Dont wear purple" cause obviously that seems rude, but I really dont want anyone matching me or my Maid of Honor, its basically the same principle as someone not wearing white to a wedding, only that usually goes unsaid so ugh Im stuck and need help.

Why so soon, it's only five years....
I agree why are you having a Maid of Honour? you are not a bride, you are a wife which is awesome in its own right.

The term maid of honour is the origin of the American English term maid of honour, usually the best friend of a bride who leads her Bridal Party.

No, this isn't a wedding it is a renewal of your wedding vows, Its like asking people not to wear black to my birthday party since I am the Birthday girl and it's MY DAY

doeydo · February 2014

freebread03 said:

Why are you having a maid of honor for a vow renewal?

This. A vow renewal is not a wedding...

Amyzen83 · February 2014

I'm a bit confused here, why is there a bridal party involved when this is a vow renewal? It should be different than a wedding. I went to a vow renewal once, and I was very confused about whether it was an actual wedding or a renewal. The couple was an older couple and I thought they had always been married... but the entire celebration (ceremony and party were very bridal in form)

wrigleyville · February 2014

http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html

RebeccaB88 · February 2014

You don't get to tell anyone how to dress. Suck it up and get over it.

Not even touching why one would need a MOH if they're already married.

NavyBlue143 · February 2014

My wedding dress was red. A guest wore a red dress. The tackiest red dress on the planet. I didn't care. I doubt she stole any of my thunder. In fact the only reason I noticed was because of the type of dress, not so much the color. You really should not tell people what to wear. You can spread the word about what you intend to wear and hope no one wears it, but if they do it won't be a big deal. Promise.

mbross3 · February 2014

Don't worry about it. Everyone will still know who you are and if someone else shows up in purple, they will still know who you are. Don't tell your guests what to wear (or not wear). I agree with PP--spread by word of mouth what color you'll be wearing and leave it at that.

BMoreBride6 · February 2014

RajahBMFD said:

Sorry, no can do. It's rude to tell people how to dress. Part of choosing a non - traditional color is risking someone wearing a similar one. What you can do is spread the fact that your dress is purple via word of mouth. Most people will avoid wearing that color if they already know you are wearing it. But you can't put it on your invite, reception card, or even your wedding website.

@RajahBMFD, sadly this isn't even a wedding...this is a vow renewal (which I have nothing wrong with), but I feel like that makes it enough more silly to expect no one to wear certain colors

Maggie0829 · February 2014

You never tell adults how to dress.

And since this is a vow renewal having a MOH is inappropriate.

climbingsingle · February 2014

You can't tell your guests how to dress. So what if someone wears purple? Why is that such a problem?

Also, I don't understand why you are having a MOH for a vow renewal.

cowgirl8238 · February 2014

I don't get the whole vow renewal thing...I mean if you want an aniverssary party then fine have a party, but vow renewals just scream AW to me.

OP listen to the previous posters, they are all correct in that you should never tell someone what to wear, instead you can spread your color choice by word of mouth. Also, why do you have a MOH?

mimiphin · February 2014

Looks like OP may have been a Post-and-Poof
Come Back OP and tell us why you are having a MOH

KittyKaty20 · February 2014

My parents renewed their vows after 25 years (super-appropriate length of marriage) and they are still close with most of their original WP.

The WP was invited, they wore nice outfits, and they had absolutely nothing to do with the vow renewal.

At the reception after, the WP posed for pictures--re-creating their original poses--were recognized as friends/family from 25 years ago, and the original BM and MOH toasted my parents' union.

THAT'S how you do a Vow Renewal...

Viczaesar · February 2014

Schatzi13 said:

Is not wearing the same color as the wife even a thing with vow renewals?

Not as far as I'm concerned. I'd wear whatever I damn well wanted to.

happywiggle · February 2014

So, 1) I don't understand the MOH either, so please explain that.

2) Aren't vow renewals supposed to be more like a private event instead of inviting a bunch of people like a wedding?

MairePoppy · February 2014

Schatzi13 said:

Is not wearing the same color as the wife even a thing with vow renewals?

No, it's not. It would never occur to me that I should figure out what the wife will wear for her vow renewal/anniversary party and avoid that color. I wouldn't remember the color of the invitations when it came time to get dressed. I suppose I might take the hint, if the wife was making a big deal about her PURPLE DRESS, but I'd think she was being self indulgent and silly.

sofakingmad · February 2014

Wait, what? Really? You want to dictate what people wear to your vow renewal? SMDH

And an MOH? LOL.

Edited because I'm not a moron. For realz.

Inkdancer · February 2014

DragonBlood13 said:

Wait, what? Really? You want to dictate what people where to your vow renewal? SMDH

And an MOH? LOL.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I MISS YOU

sofakingmad · February 2014

I can't believe I spelled wear wrong.

Hello @inkdancer. I'm been really really really really really busy. Oh and I was on vacation for a week!

Inkdancer · February 2014

Ooh, wish I could be on vacay. Then I would have missed all the newbie drama.

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