Would you

cardmonsta · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:09a43efe-585a-442b-8e77-de4e5835617c">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this came up a while back, but what would be a deal breaker crime for you (collective)?
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

<div>-Intentional Murder</div><div>-Rape</div><div>-Terrorism</div><div>-Robbery (unless you're Aladdin)</div><div>-Kidnapping</div><div>
</div><div>This list goes on for awhile.</div>

undyingmizery · May 2011

If it was something done through stupidity it would honestly make me question their mentality/ maturity. I guess it depends alot on the magnitude of things. But taking a life is something that is life altering IMO. I guess you would have to look for the empathy? remorse? regret? 20 some years ago and still tears them up then I don't know at that point for maybe hitting someone in a parking lot (example). Those things can also cause deep rooted issues from the experience.

KaylaSue19 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:781f2566-1b18-483a-9df5-5d3733abb1f5">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]can i ask a piggyback question nates? would you continue to date someone you were already dating if they killed someone while you were dating? or if it happened before but you didnt find out until you were already knee deep?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

That's a good point. I think there are probably people who could be enough in love that would continue to be with that person. I don't think I could do it. I mean I love H very much but if he killed someone just to kill someone, not only would trust be broken, but I would lose any sense of security, I would be too afraid that I could be the next one. Even if he killed the other person for whatever reason and said he would never hurt me because he loves me I don't think I could be with him.

Denise91980 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:391f5608-51e5-4019-851e-8744e0920f45">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you : -Intentional Murder -Rape -Terrorism -Robbery (unless you're Aladdin) -Kidnapping This list goes on for awhile.
Posted by cardmonsta[/QUOTE]

All this...andplusalso
-Child molestation
-Sexual assault

ZombieNates · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:391f5608-51e5-4019-851e-8744e0920f45">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you : -Intentional Murder -Rape -Terrorism -Robbery <strong>(unless you're Aladdin) </strong>-Kidnapping This list goes on for awhile.
Posted by cardmonsta[/QUOTE]
Oh, so you have an issue with Robin Hood? Hater.

ZombieNates · May 2011

Yeah, TBH, I think most crimes are deal breakers for me.

MRSBJS · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:1e5748f0-6675-4148-83fc-89e58d8ffa5d">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you : Oh, so you have an issue with Robin Hood? Hater.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

Uh oh, it's on now....

undyingmizery · May 2011

Deal breaker

cold blooded murder
child abuse of any kind
terrorism
rape
armed robbery
drugs

cardmonsta · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:1e5748f0-6675-4148-83fc-89e58d8ffa5d">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you : Oh, so you have an issue with Robin Hood? Hater.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

<div>Damnit. Okay, only if it's Aladdin or Cary Elwes.</div>

undyingmizery · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:1e88d8d8-9eb3-443b-8598-44c1c316af27">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, TBH, I think most crimes are deal breakers for me.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

Honestly I have to say I am in this category thinking about it. Hell even traffic violations that turn into crimes can have a HUGE impact on things. If you are willing to let a traffic violation escalate or have that bad of one than what else are you capable of type of thing.

pirategal03 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:1e88d8d8-9eb3-443b-8598-44c1c316af27">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, TBH, I think most crimes are deal breakers for me.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

I'm going to just put "ditto Nates" in my sig and have it over with.

KaylaSue19 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:09a43efe-585a-442b-8e77-de4e5835617c">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this came up a while back, but what would be a deal breaker crime for you (collective)?
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

Murder
Anything involving child endangerment
Rape

I think robbery would honestly depend for me. Armed robbery involving people in danger would be a deal breaker, but I could possibly let some robberies/theft go. That being said I have never been in that situation, so who knows.

ETA- I should probably clarify that I mean robberies or theft in the past that have been paid for. I would not tolerate it during a relationship.

KaylaSue19 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:d9f1ba08-0d72-4e90-9710-ab2b85d3496f">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you : Damnit. Okay, only if it's Aladdin or <strong>Cary Elwes</strong>.
Posted by cardmonsta[/QUOTE]

<3

BunnyChii · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:391f5608-51e5-4019-851e-8744e0920f45">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you : -Intentional Murder -Rape -Terrorism <strong>-Robbery (unless you're Aladdin)</strong> -Kidnapping This list goes on for awhile.
Posted by cardmonsta[/QUOTE]

<div>Aladdin gets a free pass on everything, even lying to Jasmine. He's just that hot.</div><div>
</div><div>What about shoplifting? My FI had a hard time dealing with his parents divorce and shoplifted a bit, I guess as a way of acting out. He was only 12-13 and hasn't done it since, so...</div><div>
</div><div>Armed robbery? That might be a problem.</div>

Denise91980 · May 2011

Yeah, pretty much almost any crime is a deal breaker....especially the harm of people (extra especially children) and animals.

ZombieNates · May 2011

My sig pic is finally appropriate, Pirate

reddy123 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:cccee053-46dc-464e-a75b-b9a3429e03c9">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]Just open parameters. The story is some guy called my friend to set up a date and said <strong>he had something really big to tell her and that most people don't like him after they hear it.</strong> The conversation ended before he could tell her what it was, so we were just speculating. I agree with most of you--killing in the line of duty is a different situation than just killing for pleasure or revenge. What if he/she did time for muder, was out, and claimed to be rehabilitated (i.e. went through extensive therapy, etc)?
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

<div>OMG, this is exactly what my cousin told me before he unloaded the most traumatizing information of all time (not murder, but really bad). Yikes. Honestly, if anyone ever says that phrase to me again I might just stop them. Like I said, I felt traumatized after he told me. I also felt like an idiot for saying, "It can't be that bad!" and "I won't judge you, I love you!".</div><div>
</div><div>Yeah, save those statements until AFTER the confession.</div>

ZombieNates · May 2011

Oh man, Reddy, I remember when that went down. How are you dealing with the fallout?

pirategal03 · May 2011

I'm so curious now that I wish I remembered when that went down, Red. But I'm sorry it was traumatizing.

reddy123 · May 2011

I never said, pirate, it's that bad.

Basically, Nates, I had to end a life long friendship because of moral reasons. I cut him off. Crimes with victims are unacceptable with my Buddhist outlook. There is no way hurting another could ever be okay. We ended things maturely at least, but he still isn't getting help. The crime wasn't the deal breaker, it was his reaction (refusing help).

When I cut him off, he wanted to get help just to keep me as a friend

Wrong reason, bro!

SarahPLiz · May 2011

I'm pretty sure my dad killed someone in Vietnam and it made him crazy. So I'm not sure. I love him but I couldn't marry someone that is his type of crazy. As for a cold blooded killer ? Hell to the naw!!

pirategal03 · May 2011

Eek. I don't blame you for not saying then. It doesn't sound like something the internet needs to know.

I think you have a good point, Reddy, about the reaction being as important as the crime. PPs said that if their friend/boyfriend/whomever killed someone by accident, like in a car accident, they might could be okay with that. But I know that not everyone that does that is remorseful at all. I couldn't be okay with that.

ZombieNates · May 2011

Oh, that's terrible, Red. I remember how upsetting it was when you first found out, but I totally understand ending the relationship. It's healthier for you, too. It's sad that he doesn't want to get help, but you can't take that on yourself.

SarahPLiz · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:1e88d8d8-9eb3-443b-8598-44c1c316af27">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, TBH, I think most crimes are deal breakers for me.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

This, except maybe downloading shows of questionable origin to our TiVo. I can let that one slide.

reddy123 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:2e7b5aad-ee6e-44b6-8845-71f6c2dd07f2">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, that's terrible, Red. I remember how upsetting it was when you first found out, but I totally understand ending the relationship. It's healthier for you, too. It's sad that he doesn't want to get help, <strong>but you can't take that on yourself.</strong>
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

<div>Totally. I was kind of acting as a super-supportive-therapist friend, so even more reason for me to step back. It really is healthier for me, a weight has been lifted accepting I can't help him. I do wish he didn't live so many states away, my response would've probably been different if it was local (as in, drive him to a lock-up facility and trick him inside.) </div><div>
</div><div>I still have some peace knowing I told my mom. She is "must report to police NOW" type because of her job, so I wonder how long it will be before she does something.</div>

reddy123 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:1acd6f8d-31b9-4984-88a1-39910e4b0814">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you : This, except maybe downloading shows of questionable origin to our TiVo. I can let that one slide.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

<div>Hehe PIRATES!</div>

aprovencher21 · May 2011

I'm married to a military veteran and he now works in tactical defense for nuclear power plants. This may sound cold but I wouldn't blink if he killed someone (who was endangering him and our country) in the line of duty. Even if he killed someone in the line of duty who was innocent I'd feel horrible for my H and the other family and person but I wouldn't feel differently about him. I feel the same way about cops or military members. I know darn well that I'm capable of killing someone who threatens me, my family or hypothetical children so obviously I'm fine with H doing the same. I also wouldn't count freak accidental deaths against people or true mercy killings. I also don't think that badly of parents who "snap" and may kill the person who horribly butchered their child, etc. I don't like the idea and I believe in our justice system but something in me believes slightly in vengeance.

Anysunrise · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:59e06bb2-e417-4761-9032-260955f33ad0Post:09a43efe-585a-442b-8e77-de4e5835617c">Re: Would you</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this came up a while back, but what would be a deal breaker crime for you (collective)?
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

<div>Anything that would get you sent to prison for more than a night. </div>

Y I Oughta · May 2011

One of my mom's best friends married a man in prison for murdering his first wife with an ax. I still think she is crazy for doing so. I would never date someone that killed anyone in cold blood. If they were protecting someone it might be an exception. But it would be a case by case basis. I say this as if there are lots of people I would date that have killed someone.

DeadUtopia · May 2011

...I guess it depends on how they killed the other person. Like, drunk driving involuntary manslaughter; I could probably look past. First degree murder-ish; that would be a negatory.
Deal breaker crimes for me would be rape and child abuse/molestation.

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