Issues

Jen4948 · February 2014

StefA8 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maybe you need to have a come-to-Jesus talk with her and tell her: "Friend, you've been making all these comments about being the center of attention at my wedding, and I've reached my limit with them. Cut it out."

Note, you would be telling her to cut out the comments, not to not try to be the center of attention at your wedding. I would have a DOC or someone on hand to put a stop to her behavior at your wedding if she actually does this.

It'll be quite the "come to Jesus" talk when it happens! What do you mean by DOC to put a stop to her behavior?

DOC means "day of coordinator." This is a person who might do a number of things to help keep the wedding and reception running: helps get people together for photos, lets vendors know when and where they are needed to do their work, lets the MC (if there is one) know what event to announce or perhaps acts as an MC, runs interference, and so on. Sometimes they work for the venue; at other times they are persons requested by the couple to help out.

For the purpose of this matter, this person can step in when the friend is about to behave inappropriately and distract her in some way, by pulling her aside, making an announcement that something else is about to happen, or in the last resort, to call security to escort her out if her behavior requires it, although it sounds like she's just a jerk, not a dangerous person.

LondonLisa · February 2014

Yeah, I think you need to sit her down and ask why she is doing this. Don't be accusatory or angry, just say calmly "Friend, you have been making a lot of comments about you being the centre of attention at my wedding. You know I love your fauxhawk and would never ask you to change it etc, but why would you go out of your way to steal the spotlight at my and fi's wedding? I actually find that hurtful that you would try to upstage me at the wedding and make it about you. I asked you to stand with me because I appreciate your friendship and know you would be supportive, but why the sudden change about my wedding day?"

MyNameIsNot · February 2014

This girl sounds like a whack job, and it sounds like she was this way long before you got engaged. You can't change her, and "sitting her down" until you are blue in the face isn't going to change her. I would ignore her comments, avoid wedding talk around her, and possibly avoid her all together.

As far as the b-party, it's probably best to decline. She's going to make it an issue, and you're opening yourself up for drama if you accept. Plus, you don't want to have to add all those random people to your wedding guest list.

Most of the people she "invites" to the wedding won't come, because most people know you don't go to a wedding unless you receive an actual invitation. (Make sure this girl can't access your actual invitations). Have your venue assign a staff member to assist guests in finding their seats. If any of the crashers your MOH "invited" turn up, they can be escorted out.

Please do not ask a friend or family member to babysit this girl or supervise her. It sucks that you are best friends with a shitty person, but that doesn't mean you should punish another guest with having to deal with crazy pants.

Emmy1493 · February 2014

Not going to add much as most has already been covered, but don't let it get to you, OP. If she acts like an AW on your wedding, she will look dumb, not you. You just focus on yours and Fi's day and have a blast celebrating! Let her stand in the corner if it didn't go her way. At least then you will be having fun and not letting her actions bother you. GL!

HaileyDancingbear · February 2014

The harder she tries to steal attention away from the bride on her wedding day the more stupid she'll make herself look. If I were another guest at your wedding and overheard comments like that, or saw her come across the way she does in your posts, I would be side-eyeing the crap out of her, but I would otherwise pay her no mind- Everyone is there to celebrate your wedding, and they're not going to forget that over a purple faux-hawk. Your friend is going to be so disappointed.

And on a slightly unrelated note, while I LOVE crazy colored hair, mine's maroon and teal, soon to be maroon and violet, I think your friend is being a bit weird with the faux hawk thing. I certainly wouldn't change my hair color to attend a wedding or be in a wedding party, but I sure as hell would dress for the occasion and pretty much do the same thing with my hair that everyone with normal hair would do- just because it's colorful doesn't mean it has to be styled all crazy, and a faux hawk doesn't sound like the best hairstyle for a wedding.

BMoreBride6 · February 2014

Why the DD??

mimiphin · February 2014

BMoreBride6 said:

Why the DD??

I was just wondering that!!!
@StefA8 why did you delete (some of) your posts??

StefA8 · February 2014

I was trying to delete the post and could not figure out how to do so. Sorry!

JCbride2015 · February 2014

But why were you trying to delete it? Btw that's considered very rude around here. You got good advice.

StefA8 · February 2014

I wasn't doing it to be rude - and I do appreciate the advice. I feel bad because I completely just exploded when in reality I should have probably just kept it in. I let my feelings and emotions get the best of me. Guess I just had my first bridezilla moment.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

StefA8 said:
I wasn't doing it to be rude - and I do appreciate the advice. I feel bad because I completely just exploded when in reality I should have probably just kept it in. I let my feelings and emotions get the best of me. Guess I just had my first bridezilla moment.

I wouldn't call it a bridezilla moment but rather a "grr my friend is irritating the hell out of me" moment which is completely fine to have. It would have been bridezilla if you complained how no one was helping you tie little bows on your favors and no one was asking about your wedding and how people are spending money on trips but not on parties for you, etc.

So all is good.

HaileyDancingbear · February 2014

StefA8 said:

I wasn't doing it to be rude - and I do appreciate the advice. I feel bad because I completely just exploded when in reality I should have probably just kept it in. I let my feelings and emotions get the best of me. Guess I just had my first bridezilla moment.

Well your friend is being a bit ridiculous, and your feelings are understandable. And to the bolded- search the word vent, we let out pent-up emotions on here all the time. It certainly beats blowing up at people in real life. As long as you're not being TOTALLY ridiculous (Which you're not, believe me, we'd tell you if you were!) it's absolutely fine to talk about what's frustrating you on here.

And also the bolded sounds a lot like me. I also tend to prefer to bottle things up or keep them in rather than confront people. But you've gotta be able to vent SOMEWHERE or else you drive yourself nuts!

StefA8 · February 2014

Definitely not my proudest moment. Thank you everyone for letting me vent ... uncontrollably, I might add. Normally I can keep it together much better than that. And thank you all for the advice.

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