"Sharing" our wedding weekend? Help.

Re: "Sharing" our wedding weekend? Help.

• jaime232 member

  

  February 2014

  Chipmunk, I agree and empathize with this situation.  I wouldn't say that it's fair to compare their situations though.. historically, this cousin (an only child) has gotten his way and never really cared what had to happen for him to get it.  And his new wife has him wrapped around her finger, so it's probably just compounded and worse than just him on his own.  They specifically said that they got married early because now they can get on-base housing for free as well as a pay raise.  I commend those in the armed forces who put their lives on the line and pay for it, physically and mentally, but it's not the case here.  

  
  

  So, to sum up, honeymoon/brunch plans are in the works!  Or, at this point I barely even care if they think I'm a bitchy hag, I'll just say I don't want to go.  The end.

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  February 2014

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  Normally, I would say you get a day, not a weekend. And that's still true -- you get one day. BUT -- so do they, and they already had it. They don't get a PPD just because they want a big party. They're married. The ship for their 'wedding day' has sailed. If they had wanted their family there, they should have thought of that before getting married without any family present. They don't get a do-over. I think the best way to deal with it is not to say anything until it's brought up to you, and then when it is, say, 'Wedding? But they're already married. Why do they need a wedding? Did they get divorced?' That will at least embarrass them a little.

  I agree with this.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  February 2014

  lyndausvi said:

  I would just go on my honeymoon and not think twice about not being able to attend a PPD.

  This. 
  
  If your cousin or anyone in your family mentions this wedding and aren't you excited or can't wait to see you there, just politely say that you are sorry to have missed their wedding in February, and you can't make their other celebration because it's too close to your actual wedding.  But you hope everyone has a good time.
  
  When you get the invitation, decline, and if anyone asks just say you are sorry but you will be too busy with your own, actual wedding to attend. Then have your wedding and go on your honeymoon and don't give them a 2nd thought.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• LizM61409 member

  

  February 2014

  Okay I don't agree with the military marriage benefit- I DO think people in the military deserve to be compensated well. However, I don't think that one serviceman should get paid more than another for doing the exact same job because he's found the right woman and the other one hasn't. Seems totally unfair to the single one!

  
  

  OP, go ahead and book that honeymoon! If your cousin gets mad at you later for missing their "wedding" just say you must have misheard him about what was going on that day, because they're already married.

  

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• singinchick13 member

  

  February 2014

  I would be absolutely livid, and I would probably say straight to their faces that I did not appreciate them trying to have a second 'wedding' on the day after my ACTUAL wedding. I would also make sure the rest of your family knows that they have planned this date on purpose, and that you feel they have completely taken advantage of your ability to plan and host a proper wedding by piggy-backing on your guests' travel plans.

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• jaime232 member

  

  February 2014

  
  

  singinchick13 said:

  I would be absolutely livid, and I would probably say straight to their faces that I did not appreciate them trying to have a second 'wedding' on the day after my ACTUAL wedding. I would also make sure the rest of your family knows that they have planned this date on purpose, and that you feel they have completely taken advantage of your ability to plan and host a proper wedding by piggy-backing on your guests' travel plans.

  When I first heard, I sent him a text and told him I'm not necessarily excited about sharing, and I don't think anyone else would be either.  He never answered me.. I did see him last night, he and his wifey were supposed to go to a family dinner.. she was "sick."  Meh.  I did have a chance to talk to some of my other family members (who are local), since I was wondering if THEY thought it would be selfish to make our family travel twice, and they gave me a resounding NO... it is not selfish, and it was appalling that they'd entertain the idea.  They suggested a BBQ the day after, and one of them offered up her house (much bigger than mine).  Problem solved! 

  
  

  Thanks so much for the input, I was really going a little crazy in my own head.  

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• laceybird member

  

  February 2014

  Lol, what a mess! But glad everything seems to be working out for you.

  
  

  And just because I'm the type of person I am, I would love to hear their reaction when you mention that your guests are going to be busy with your wedding that weekend.

  
  

  

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