Sometimes it's not in their contracts, but it's still the right thing to do.
True story: I am close friends with a guy who has been working steadily as a DJ for the last couple of years and for whatever reason, he never had it in his contract that he had to be provided a meal. Last fall he was doing a wedding with a 5pm ceremony start time. So he arrived around 2:30, started playing prelude music around 4:30, and after the ceremony, cocktail hour, introductions, first dance, etc, it was time for 7pm dinner. None of the vendors (DJ, 2 photographers, 2 videographers, or DOC) got fed. One of them finally asked the venue where their food was, and the venue told him the bride had said "0 vendor meals." When the DOC went up to the bride to ask, the awful girl's response was that she had "spent enough money on all the vendors and wasn't going to be providing a meal for them, too." I was so mad for my friend, who had to DJ this wedding until 11pm, running only on the dinner rolls the venue people had snuck the vendors because they felt bad.
And what could the vendors do? If they left to go get food, they would have held up the reception or missed something important, and then the bride would come back on websites like TK and WW and leaves awful reviews, with no way for these poor people to tell their side.
I don't know why anyone would think it okay to serve something different just because they are vendors. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to serve the same thing to everyone (except for food/allergy issues) so you aren't having to worry if the vendors got the correct thing?
I was actually wondering the same thing about which vendors need to be fed and which ones do not, thanks for this thread and the advice given, it was very helpful!
I don't know why anyone would think it okay to serve something different just because they are vendors. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to serve the same thing to everyone (except for food/allergy issues) so you aren't having to worry if the vendors got the correct thing?
Because if a person is spending upwards of $80+ per person for meals, I can see why they would be resistant to spend that amount on vendors too, especially when many reception venues offer special, discounted meals for the vendors. And vendor meals are not crappy, cold sandwiches and chips as seems to be the prevailing belief in this thread, lol. At least not in my area, they aren't. They can be anything from a gourmet boxed meal to a discounted price on the actual meal you are serving your guests.
At the end of the day you have to feed your DJ, photographer, etc- why wouldn't you want them to enjoy a nice meal? And at the end of the day and at the very least, you have to provide for them what they have detailed in their contracts. The reason they may stipulate meal terms is because of getting screwed in the past.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Sometimes it's not in their contracts, but it's still the right thing to do.
True story: I am close friends with a guy who has been working steadily as a DJ for the last couple of years and for whatever reason, he never had it in his contract that he had to be provided a meal. Last fall he was doing a wedding with a 5pm ceremony start time. So he arrived around 2:30, started playing prelude music around 4:30, and after the ceremony, cocktail hour, introductions, first dance, etc, it was time for 7pm dinner. None of the vendors (DJ, 2 photographers, 2 videographers, or DOC) got fed. One of them finally asked the venue where their food was, and the venue told him the bride had said "0 vendor meals." When the DOC went up to the bride to ask, the awful girl's response was that she had "spent enough money on all the vendors and wasn't going to be providing a meal for them, too." I was so mad for my friend, who had to DJ this wedding until 11pm, running only on the dinner rolls the venue people had snuck the vendors because they felt bad.
And what could the vendors do? If they left to go get food, they would have held up the reception or missed something important, and then the bride would come back on websites like TK and WW and leaves awful reviews, with no way for these poor people to tell their side.
So, yeah.. feed your poor vendors haha
I hope your DJ friend revised all his contracts going forward. . .
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I don't know why anyone would think it okay to serve something different just because they are vendors. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to serve the same thing to everyone (except for food/allergy issues) so you aren't having to worry if the vendors got the correct thing?
Because if a person is spending upwards of $80+ per person for meals, I can see why they would be resistant to spend that amount on vendors too, especially when many reception venues offer special, discounted meals for the vendors. And vendor meals are not crappy, cold sandwiches and chips as seems to be the prevailing belief in this thread, lol. At least not in my area, they aren't. They can be anything from a gourmet boxed meal to a discounted price on the actual meal you are serving your guests.
At the end of the day you have to feed your DJ, photographer, etc- why wouldn't you want them to enjoy a nice meal? And at the end of the day and at the very least, you have to provide for them what they have detailed in their contracts. The reason they may stipulate meal terms is because of getting screwed in the past.
But that is not true everywhere. I just think it is easier to serve the same food that you are serving everyone else. People need to plan correctly and include those vendors into their headcount when they are budgeting their weddings. But the thought that just because they are vendors doesn't mean that they shouldn't get a good meal or should be fed at all is ridiculous. Happy vendors=happy wedding.
I don't know why anyone would think it okay to serve something different just because they are vendors. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to serve the same thing to everyone (except for food/allergy issues) so you aren't having to worry if the vendors got the correct thing?
Because if a person is spending upwards of $80+ per person for meals, I can see why they would be resistant to spend that amount on vendors too, especially when many reception venues offer special, discounted meals for the vendors. And vendor meals are not crappy, cold sandwiches and chips as seems to be the prevailing belief in this thread, lol. At least not in my area, they aren't. They can be anything from a gourmet boxed meal to a discounted price on the actual meal you are serving your guests.
At the end of the day you have to feed your DJ, photographer, etc- why wouldn't you want them to enjoy a nice meal? And at the end of the day and at the very least, you have to provide for them what they have detailed in their contracts. The reason they may stipulate meal terms is because of getting screwed in the past.
But that is not true everywhere. I just think it is easier to serve the same food that you are serving everyone else. People need to plan correctly and include those vendors into their headcount when they are budgeting their weddings. But the thought that just because they are vendors doesn't mean that they shouldn't get a good meal or should be fed at all is ridiculous. Happy vendors=happy wedding.
I agree, not feeding vendors at all is just plain mean.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I agree, feed your vendors! I'm not really familiar with vendor meals, but it seems rude that unless the vendors are eating in a separate room, that vendors aren't given the same meal, because then they are there watching the guests eat something more elaborate meal.
But seating vendors in another room also seems kind of rude, because they are still working the entire time, no? Our DJ ate at his table, while the two photographers were seated at a guest table, but they were in and out of their seats taking photos during dinner getting shots of guests and toasts).
Any vendor who is sticking around for the reception (DJ, photographer, videographer, etc) should get a meal.
Our vendors (DJ and 2 photographers) got the same meal as our guests, but we were charged for the plate less the cost of alcohol (which is the same cost as any guest under 19).
I don't know why anyone would think it okay to serve something different just because they are vendors. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to serve the same thing to everyone (except for food/allergy issues) so you aren't having to worry if the vendors got the correct thing?
Because if a person is spending upwards of $80+ per person for meals, I can see why they would be resistant to spend that amount on vendors too, especially when many reception venues offer special, discounted meals for the vendors. And vendor meals are not crappy, cold sandwiches and chips as seems to be the prevailing belief in this thread, lol. At least not in my area, they aren't. They can be anything from a gourmet boxed meal to a discounted price on the actual meal you are serving your guests.
At the end of the day you have to feed your DJ, photographer, etc- why wouldn't you want them to enjoy a nice meal? And at the end of the day and at the very least, you have to provide for them what they have detailed in their contracts. The reason they may stipulate meal terms is because of getting screwed in the past.
If the food and drink items they are serving the guests cost a lot of money, then yeah, I can see not wanting to serve that to others as well.
I do agree that the vendors should get decent quality meals, but I think serving hamburgers to vendors while serving steak to guests is reasonable.
Our vendor meals cost about $30 (guest meals cost about double that) - the vendor meal is just their choice of any of the items we're offering on the buffet. The caterer will make a plate for them (to save them time) and they'll eat in a separate room (the photographer and her assistant plan to stagger their meals so that at least one of them is always shooting). I can see why you wouldn't want to treat your vendor to a $60 meal - they're vendors, not guests - but i can't see why you'd want to bother to bring in differet food for them. It's way easier for them to just eat the stuff that is already being offered.
It's often easier on the venue itself to just serve the vendors the same meal. It might seem silly but some places might not have turkey to make a turkey sandwich or ground beef to make a hamburger. It's easier for them to throw another steak on the grill, then make one special meal.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
We're doing a buffet, and our vendors aren't included in our headcount but will still be able to go up and eat as much as they want. Even if that weren't the case, we definitely would want to feed our vendors. They can't do a great job if their bloodsugar is plummeting. And, since we hired vendors that we were already/have become friends with, there's no way we'd serve them a different or cheaper meal than what we're serving everyone else.
When I booked my photographers, I was looking for an 8 hour package. She told me what their price was, but also let me know that if I got the 6 hours package and fed them dinner, then we'd get an extra hour. Considering the food isn't that bad (it's the booze that's the expensive part), it all works out great for everyone.
I hadn't considered my planner and her assistant though, so thanks for the heads up on that. I'll shoot her an e-mail now.
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
-Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
I am in an opposite situation. We have a husband and wife team as our photographers. When we met, I mentioned them eating the food. I am more than happy to feed them, but she said they bring their own sandwiches. They don't eat with the guests.
I hope that doesn't sound like she is being snooty. She is super nice. She said they just eat sandwiches, because they put some of the photos they already have on an ipad during the meal and pass it around for people to enjoy.
Vendors definitely need to eat, they work hard and it's a long day! With this in mind I was planning on feeding mine regardless of cost, but i was happy when I saw that my venue charged 1/2 price for vendor meals (the same price as guests under 12). Ask your venue what the vendor policy is.
I was watching a video on YouTube about vendor etiquette and it said that I have to provide vendor meals for anybody that will be working more than five hours the day of my wedding. It kind of makes sense to me. I don't want hungry vendors, but my boss doesn't provide lunch for me lol. This was the first I've heard of this. My budget is tight so these extra meals are NOT what I want to do, but I will if I have to. Help me out ladies. What's a girl to do?
True, but your boss let's you leave for lunch. Do you want your vendors to leave for an hour or so? No, you need to provide them a meal
My friend is a professional photographer. It's in her contract that a meal is required. It's also in many of the contracts with wedding venues too.
Some people have stiffed her on the meal, and she's billed the cost of the meal after her services were performed (payment needed to obtain get proofs). If it's in the vendor's contract with the bride, they automatically serve her, regardless, and add it to the final balance.
She had someone write a horrible review of her on Yelp as a result of her holding photo proofs when someone short paid her a $100 for the amount of the meals for her and her 2nd shooter that was automatically charged to the couple by the venue. All they had to do was pay the $100. They tried to take her to small claims court over it, she won and secured damages in a counter claim for defamation/libel. Upon payment and removal of the review, they received their photos.
@raeah219 Also so you know- you and your fiance ARE including in the meal count as well. So if you have 100 guests and 6 people in the wedding party and yourselves you'd report 108 meals + 3 vendor meals.
It's often easier on the venue itself to just serve the vendors the same meal. It might seem silly but some places might not have turkey to make a turkey sandwich or ground beef to make a hamburger. It's easier for them to throw another steak on the grill, then make one special meal.
Like you say, it's situational. It might be easier on the venue, but not on the couple's purse.
It's often easier on the venue itself to just serve the vendors the same meal. It might seem silly but some places might not have turkey to make a turkey sandwich or ground beef to make a hamburger. It's easier for them to throw another steak on the grill, then make one special meal.
Like you say, it's situational. It might be easier on the venue, but not on the couple's purse.
Which is why couples need to budget correctly by knowing that certain vendors need to be included in the final headcount.
It's often easier on the venue itself to just serve the vendors the same meal. It might seem silly but some places might not have turkey to make a turkey sandwich or ground beef to make a hamburger. It's easier for them to throw another steak on the grill, then make one special meal.
Like you say, it's situational. It might be easier on the venue, but not on the couple's purse.
Special meals often means more money in terms of labor and sometimes product. It's not just ease of cooking.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
My contracts didn't say anything about a meal. I asked my vendors (DJ and photographer) their preferences. DJ said he'd like the traditional vendor meal at the venue (he's worked there quite often), as it's more working/hand friendly. The photographer said he didn't need a meal, didn't want to miss any photos, etc. I've still arranged to have a plate of finger/working friendly foods (little sandwiches, fruit and veggies, etc) available for him to grab a handful/bite on the go.
I'm honestly shocked that some people don't automatically think they need to feed vendors working their wedding. They're often their longer than your guests and the guests get a meal so why shouldn't they?
Also important to remember to add vendors if your venue has a max capacity. If the max is 200 people and you want to invite 196 guests that won't work when you add yourself, your FI, and the typical vendors (photo, dj, etc)
Our venue offers vendor meals for about half the price of guest meals. $35pp and they can still use the bar for non alcoholic drinks (though I did tell all our vendors to enjoy a few towards the end if the night though none would). The venue set up a table the was almost identical to guest tables (rectangle instead of round) and was right next to the DJ booth, where everyone could see them (the nerve!). Our photographers required you give them a 30-60 minute break if you didn't plan to feed them.
I did feel terrible for our photo booth attendants. They never received theremail where I said we'd be feeding them and even though their meals were paid for and a place was set for them they never ate because they didn't know. I only wish we found out about it before the end if the night
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
I'm honestly shocked that some people don't automatically think they need to feed vendors working their wedding. They're often their longer than your guests and the guests get a meal so why shouldn't they?
Also important to remember to add vendors if your venue has a max capacity. If the max is 200 people and you want to invite 196 guests that won't work when you add yourself, your FI, and the typical vendors (photo, dj, etc)
Our venue offers vendor meals for about half the price of guest meals. $35pp and they can still use the bar for non alcoholic drinks (though I did tell all our vendors to enjoy a few towards the end if the night though none would). The venue set up a table the was almost identical to guest tables (rectangle instead of round) and was right next to the DJ booth, where everyone could see them (the nerve!). Our photographers required you give them a 30-60 minute break if you didn't plan to feed them.
I did feel terrible for our photo booth attendants. They never received theremail where I said we'd be feeding them and even though their meals were paid for and a place was set for them they never ate because they didn't know. I only wish we found out about it before the end if the night
Venue max is really dependent on a lot of things…there is fire code max with people seated and then max occupancy period. You only need to count your vendors in the capacity count if they are not eating at a guest table. You don't have to factor in the servers, chef, janitor, etc that may all be in building. If your room capacity is 200 with a DJ table and dance floor, you don't need to count the DJ as one of the 200 as he'll be at his table. You count max capacity based on seated at the tables. However if you want a dance floor, buffet table, gift table, DJ/band, cake table, etc - you can't go off of banquet max capacity based on fire code.
All bets are off if your wedding is on a boat, then you do have to count exact heads. If it has a heartbeat it counts as one, period. Boat capacity is not the same as building capacity.
We plan to feed our DJ and photographer - but then again, they would be invited either way as guests. We are just lucky enough to be blessed with talented friends with professions that are useful at a wedding!
Along the same lines - should those involved in the ceremony automatically be invited to the wedding? We are inviting the officiant to both our rehearsal and reception as I've read it's good etiquette to do so. We plan to find someone to play the piano before our ceremony and for those walking down the aisle. Is it improper to tell them they can leave after the ceremony? Or should they be invited to the reception? Not sure on who this person is yet. We might end up with one of our musician friends in which case they'd be welcome to stay - but what if it's a stranger who knows no one?
We plan to feed our DJ and photographer - but then again, they would be invited either way as guests. We are just lucky enough to be blessed with talented friends with professions that are useful at a wedding!
Along the same lines - should those involved in the ceremony automatically be invited to the wedding? We are inviting the officiant to both our rehearsal and reception as I've read it's good etiquette to do so. We plan to find someone to play the piano before our ceremony and for those walking down the aisle. Is it improper to tell them they can leave after the ceremony? Or should they be invited to the reception? Not sure on who this person is yet. We might end up with one of our musician friends in which case they'd be welcome to stay - but what if it's a stranger who knows no one?
If it is a vendor you have hired, you do not need to invite them to the reception. You wouldn't invite your florist, so you don't have to invite musicians. The reception is a "thank you" to those who attend your wedding--vendors are thanked when you pay them.
It's often easier on the venue itself to just serve the vendors the same meal. It might seem silly but some places might not have turkey to make a turkey sandwich or ground beef to make a hamburger. It's easier for them to throw another steak on the grill, then make one special meal.
Like you say, it's situational. It might be easier on the venue, but not on the couple's purse.
Which is why couples need to budget correctly by knowing that certain vendors need to be included in the final headcount.
For food and drink in general, yes-but not necessarily exactly the same options as the guests get. It's something I'd negotiate for with both the vendors and the venue.
It's often easier on the venue itself to just serve the vendors the same meal. It might seem silly but some places might not have turkey to make a turkey sandwich or ground beef to make a hamburger. It's easier for them to throw another steak on the grill, then make one special meal.
Like you say, it's situational. It might be easier on the venue, but not on the couple's purse.
Which is why couples need to budget correctly by knowing that certain vendors need to be included in the final headcount.
For food and drink in general, yes-but not necessarily exactly the same options as the guests get. It's something I'd negotiate for with both the vendors and the venue.
I'm glad I'm not a vendor, and I'm glad you're not my bride. You're really coming across as the type who would give vendors a PB&J after working 7 hours, while your guests eat prime rib and chicken, all to save $10.
It's often easier on the venue itself to just serve the vendors the same meal. It might seem silly but some places might not have turkey to make a turkey sandwich or ground beef to make a hamburger. It's easier for them to throw another steak on the grill, then make one special meal.
Like you say, it's situational. It might be easier on the venue, but not on the couple's purse.
Which is why couples need to budget correctly by knowing that certain vendors need to be included in the final headcount.
For food and drink in general, yes-but not necessarily exactly the same options as the guests get. It's something I'd negotiate for with both the vendors and the venue.
I'm glad I'm not a vendor, and I'm glad you're not my bride. You're really coming across as the type who would give vendors a PB&J after working 7 hours, while your guests eat prime rib and chicken, all to save $10.
I think you are reading too much into what she is saying and putting a negative spin on it. And be realistic, there would be way more than a $10 difference between a PB&J sandwich and prime rib and chicken.
Many reception venues offer a vendor meal at a discounted price compared to what you pay for guests' meals. Again, a vendor meal does not necessarily mean a cheapo, cold, crappy sandwich. A vendor meal can be anything from a gourmet boxed meal to a hot entree option to the exact same meal your guests are being served for a fraction of the cost.
This is really not as difficult as this thread is making it out to be- Brides, you have to feed your vendors. Period.
Check your vendors' contracts as well as your venue contract.
If the venue offers to make vendor meals for your vendors, and the vendors are fine with this as per their contract, then you are free to serve them a vendor meal and it doesn't make you Hilly Holbrook from The Help.
If your venue offers to make vendor meals but you prefer to serve your vendors the same food as your guests, then go for it.
If your vendors have very specific food specifications that resemble that of an A-list celebrity and you really want to hire that vendor, then you feed them exactly what is specified in their contract.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Re: I have to feed the vendors too?!?
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
Because if a person is spending upwards of $80+ per person for meals, I can see why they would be resistant to spend that amount on vendors too, especially when many reception venues offer special, discounted meals for the vendors. And vendor meals are not crappy, cold sandwiches and chips as seems to be the prevailing belief in this thread, lol. At least not in my area, they aren't. They can be anything from a gourmet boxed meal to a discounted price on the actual meal you are serving your guests.
At the end of the day you have to feed your DJ, photographer, etc- why wouldn't you want them to enjoy a nice meal? And at the end of the day and at the very least, you have to provide for them what they have detailed in their contracts. The reason they may stipulate meal terms is because of getting screwed in the past.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I do agree that the vendors should get decent quality meals, but I think serving hamburgers to vendors while serving steak to guests is reasonable.
We're doing a buffet, and our vendors aren't included in our headcount but will still be able to go up and eat as much as they want. Even if that weren't the case, we definitely would want to feed our vendors. They can't do a great job if their bloodsugar is plummeting. And, since we hired vendors that we were already/have become friends with, there's no way we'd serve them a different or cheaper meal than what we're serving everyone else.
When I booked my photographers, I was looking for an 8 hour package. She told me what their price was, but also let me know that if I got the 6 hours package and fed them dinner, then we'd get an extra hour. Considering the food isn't that bad (it's the booze that's the expensive part), it all works out great for everyone.
I hadn't considered my planner and her assistant though, so thanks for the heads up on that. I'll shoot her an e-mail now.
I hope that doesn't sound like she is being snooty. She is super nice. She said they just eat sandwiches, because they put some of the photos they already have on an ipad during the meal and pass it around for people to enjoy.
Edited for clarification.
Some people have stiffed her on the meal, and she's billed the cost of the meal after her services were performed (payment needed to obtain get proofs). If it's in the vendor's contract with the bride, they automatically serve her, regardless, and add it to the final balance.
She had someone write a horrible review of her on Yelp as a result of her holding photo proofs when someone short paid her a $100 for the amount of the meals for her and her 2nd shooter that was automatically charged to the couple by the venue. All they had to do was pay the $100. They tried to take her to small claims court over it, she won and secured damages in a counter claim for defamation/libel. Upon payment and removal of the review, they received their photos.
It's just petty. Feed them.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
If it is a friend, you must still invite them.
Many reception venues offer a vendor meal at a discounted price compared to what you pay for guests' meals. Again, a vendor meal does not necessarily mean a cheapo, cold, crappy sandwich. A vendor meal can be anything from a gourmet boxed meal to a hot entree option to the exact same meal your guests are being served for a fraction of the cost.
This is really not as difficult as this thread is making it out to be- Brides, you have to feed your vendors. Period.
Check your vendors' contracts as well as your venue contract.
If the venue offers to make vendor meals for your vendors, and the vendors are fine with this as per their contract, then you are free to serve them a vendor meal and it doesn't make you Hilly Holbrook from The Help.
If your venue offers to make vendor meals but you prefer to serve your vendors the same food as your guests, then go for it.
If your vendors have very specific food specifications that resemble that of an A-list celebrity and you really want to hire that vendor, then you feed them exactly what is specified in their contract.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."