Parents

hlvonb · February 2014

natmull said:

My mom and dad were nice enough to offer to pay for my reception. Their only stipulation is that they will not pay for a bar or alcohol of any kind. My parents do not drink, and neither does most of my side of the family. (Too many problems with serious alcoholism, you get the picture) The in-laws want a bar and are ticked because my parents are not providing that, yet the IL's have not paid for a single thing. Our budget does not allow for the fiance and myself to pay for it. There is no way we could do it without going broke before the wedding. BTW, wedding is 2 months away. What should I do?

@natmull

Since there is no way you can pay without going broke (your words) you really only have 2 options.

1. Accept the fact that there will be no alcohol

2. Tell the in laws if they are hell bent on having alcohol, they are more than welcome to pay for it since you simply do not have the budget for it

LondonLisa · February 2014

Sorry, but it looks like you will be having a dry wedding (there is nothing wrong with that!). I don't think it is appropriate to ask your in laws to pay for the bar.

Do not have a cash bar/ ticketed bar/ subsidised bar. What you can have are limited drink options such as beer and wine only. However, this must happen during the whole party. Have you thought of having a daytime wedding? People tend to drink a lot less during the day. But, if this will make you go broke, don't feel like you have to have alcohol. Financial stress is a killer to marriages, and don't start off married life stretched to the max/ in debt for something as silly as a bar!

Dry weddings are perfectly acceptable and can be absolutely lovely. Don't cave into the pressure of your inlaws. Frankly, they cannot dictate anything as they are not paying.

Good luck!

MobKaz · February 2014

hlvonb said:

natmull said:

My mom and dad were nice enough to offer to pay for my reception. Their only stipulation is that they will not pay for a bar or alcohol of any kind. My parents do not drink, and neither does most of my side of the family. (Too many problems with serious alcoholism, you get the picture) The in-laws want a bar and are ticked because my parents are not providing that, yet the IL's have not paid for a single thing. Our budget does not allow for the fiance and myself to pay for it. There is no way we could do it without going broke before the wedding. BTW, wedding is 2 months away. What should I do?

@natmull

Since there is no way you can pay without going broke (your words) you really only have 2 options.

1. Accept the fact that there will be no alcohol
2. Tell the in laws if they are hell bent on having alcohol, they are more than welcome to pay for it since you simply do not have the budget for it

@natmull, IF you return to read these responses......

I have to wonder if the in-laws are not contributing to the wedding, why someone thought it necessary to disclose that information to them. My first suggestion is to stop sharing wedding details that do not involve them.

I would disagree that it is appropriate to suggest your in-laws pay for something. They are now aware that a hosted bar is not in the budget. If they truly are that hell bent on alcohol, they will volunteer to contribute to the cost.

There is NO reason to put yourself into debt with wedding costs. Host the reception you can afford as a gracious host. Your guests, in turn, need to be gracious of your hospitality.

cowgirl8238 · February 2014

@natmull why did you Delete?

Jen4948 · February 2014

If the ILs want a bar, they will have to pay for it.

Otherwise, you will be having a dry wedding and they will have to suck that up.

But they do not get to expect your parents to provide it on their own dime.

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