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THAT'S NOT WHAT I FUCKING ASKED.

JennyColadaJennyColada member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
edited February 2014 in Snarky Brides
Sent an email to a custom dress maker yesterday inquiring about cost (my exact wording was "I am curious about a price range for your work as well as general timeframes.").

Her reply back was "Would love to work with you. What is your budget?"

Oh HELL no.

I've already gotten a (VERY helpful) reply back from another shop (and this lady's prices are probably similar) so I'm considering sending her a snarky reply back a la "Thanks, but that doesn't answer my question about costs or time frames, thanks though" or "I don't wish for my personal budget to affect the pricing of your work." Or I could just ignore her email altogether as I'm obviously not interested in working with her now (I mean, she obviously doesn't take my concerns or opinions seriously).
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Re: THAT'S NOT WHAT I FUCKING ASKED.

  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Hey, at least she answered your email.

    I tried to get with a custom corset maker and they never even bothered to reply. Talk about unprofessional!
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  • zizibetzizibet member
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    This means that she's willing to be flexible with the budget. You tell her you can spend X, and she'll tell what she can do for that price. Many custom designers work that way. Unless you were prettyt specific and said, whgat is the range of pricing for a silk satin ballgown with a 5 foot train and a lace bodice, it can be difficult to answer the question.
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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Same thing happening with the gal I'm working with to set up morning after breakfast. Me "what's that gonna cost?" Her: "what's your max price per person budget." Seriously?

    On an entertaining note, she addressed her follow up email to me as going to "mary." My name's not mary. Not even close. Think something more like "laura." She has my room block info, my initial price request info (complete with names and numbers), and she calls me by a completely different name.

    In my response, I used my correct name. Wish I could have been there to see her face when she realized it...

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  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
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    zizibet said:

    This means that she's willing to be flexible with the budget. You tell her you can spend X, and she'll tell what she can do for that price. Many custom designers work that way. Unless you were prettyt specific and said, whgat is the range of pricing for a silk satin ballgown with a 5 foot train and a lace bodice, it can be difficult to answer the question.

    This. Seems like a bit of an overreaction on your part. Depending upon how specific you were in your initial inquiry, it could literally be impossible for her to provide an answer that is all that helpful.
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  • FiancBFiancB member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I definitely get suspicious when it's a service I'm paying for and they immediately want to know my budget. I would be much more comfortable with them wanting to know roughly what I'm looking for and then maybe send me some similar dresses with their prices. 
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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
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    Inkdancer said:
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    Wait your name isn't actually Chipmunk??? But I really enjoyed picturing you as this but cuter:

    image


    Aww, Ink, that's adorable!!! Not crazy about the puff sleeves, but we can make it work!

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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
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    @Chipmunk415 Yeah, by "cuter" I sorta meant "slow your roll on them sleeves, sunshine". And for some reason my brain refuses to put a bow on top of your head.
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
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    I'd say, "let's not get ahead of ourselves, here", or something to that extent. My stepmom used that line this weekend when we were looking at venues and I thought it was amazing. 


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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Jennycolada said:
    Sent an email to a custom dress maker yesterday inquiring about cost (my exact wording was "I am curious about a price range for your work as well as general timeframes."). Her reply back was "Would love to work with you. What is your budget?" Oh HELL no. I've already gotten a (VERY helpful) reply back from another shop (and this lady's prices are probably similar) so I'm considering sending her a snarky reply back a la "Thanks, but that doesn't answer my question about costs or time frames, thanks though" or "I don't wish for my personal budget to affect the pricing of your work." Or I could just ignore her email altogether as I'm obviously not interested in working with her now (I mean, she obviously doesn't take my concerns or opinions seriously).
    I am clearly the minority here, but I don't think her response was really out of line. I get the sense she's asking what your budget is to be able to show you dresses in that price range.

    Maybe that's just me. But your all-shouty-caps title seems like a bit of an over-reaction to her e-mail. If you don't like what she wrote back, fine, but wow...that's extreme.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    IMO it would have been reasonable to not specify and just ask your budget IF she also at least gave a time frame. For example, if you walk into the jewelry store I work in and tell me you want to know price and time frame for a custom design, I will tell you that it takes x weeks start to finish and that the design fee is around x, but ask if you have a maximum budget because that will start to determine what kind of weight of gold/diamonds is feasible. And that changes based on whether someone already has metal or stones to use in the design. I can't give a price range because some people get $500 designs and some get $20,000. While a wedding gown designer may or may not have such a huge price range, she is probably able to work within a budget to some degree, but knowing your budget will help determine what options she can offer.
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  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
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    artbyallie said:

    IMO it would have been reasonable to not specify and just ask your budget IF she also at least gave a time frame. For example, if you walk into the jewelry store I work in and tell me you want to know price and time frame for a custom design, I will tell you that it takes x weeks start to finish and that the design fee is around x, but ask if you have a maximum budget because that will start to determine what kind of weight of gold/diamonds is feasible. And that changes based on whether someone already has metal or stones to use in the design. I can't give a price range because some people get $500 designs and some get $20,000. While a wedding gown designer may or may not have such a huge price range, she is probably able to work within a budget to some degree, but knowing your budget will help determine what options she can offer.

    The budget probably also affects the timeline. Something that's in the 10K range is probably going to entail a lot more intricate beadwork/stitching, etc. than a dress in the 1K range in a simple silhouette.

    Again, it's impossible to know if her response was money-hungry or explorative unless we know exactly what your original inquiry was.
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  • Vivandiere8Vivandiere8 member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I know there might be reasons for it but I hate when I ask about the price for something wedding related and I am asked about my budget.  The problem is I haven't been married before and I have no idea what's reasonable! My budget for everything would be $100 if I had to say something. All I can really say is, "Um.. uh... It's...what ever is the cheapest way to go..." We are already over budget on everything else so there is no budget left for the rest technically. (having a great credit score is paying off big time)
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  • Fairyjen1Fairyjen1 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
      My mom is a professional seamstress/costumer. She would tell you she charges $15.00 per hour labor, plus materials. How many hours she would charge you for, depends entirely on the dress you want. She would ask for pictures of what you had in mind to get an idea of how much your dress might cost. She's been doing it a long time and has a good idea of how much time specific things take her. She also knows how much materials cost and could give you a ballpark figure for that as well. She only charges for materials based on their actual cost, so if you have a JoAnn's coupon the cost of materials can come out less than she originally quotes you. 

       I don't think she would ask your budget unless you specifically asked her what could be done to keep a certain style under a certain price. She could then direct you to less expensive materials or less labor intensive details.

       Generally, her clients are historical re-enactors, looking to get a custom, wedding gown from a specific time period. They are usually fine with what she charges because they know what they are getting into. She will say herself that if you are strictly looking for a modern run of the mill wedding gown you can probably find one in a store that is cheaper than she could make it for. She does do a lot of alterations on said store-bought gowns, however :)

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  • pumpkinsandturkeyspumpkinsandturkeys member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    While it's uncomfortable to discuss budget in any scenario, I agree with some PP in that it wasn't unreasonable for her to ask about it. It could have been worded a little better on her part, and she could have elaborated on why she needs to know your budget, but it wasn't out of line, IMO.

    Some people like to get all of the cards on the table right from the beginning. It's possible that she doesn't want you to describe all of these ideas for your dream dress, just to potentially crush them by telling you that she can't make that work within your budget. Or, perhaps she has a varied range and has done dresses for as little as $750 and as high as $25 000, and wants to know where you fit in that so she can show you dresses she has done in the past for a similar budget. 

    There are so many variables and scenarios here that I wouldn't discount her just because she's upfront. At the end of the day, whoever you work with will end up knowing what price point you're comfortable within -- she's just getting that out of the way in the beginning, and I actually like that she's not wasting time.


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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
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    Vivandiere8 said:
    I know there might be reasons for it but I hate when I ask about the price for something wedding related and I am asked about my budget.  The problem is I haven't been married before and I have no idea what's reasonable! My budget for everything would be $100 if I had to say something. All I can really say is, "Um.. uh... It's...what ever is the cheapest way to go..." We are already over budget on everything else so there is no budget left for the rest technically. (having a great credit score is paying off big time)
    This. I got into it with a caterer because she refused to even send me sample menus until I gave her a budget. I told her that I literally just don't know what is reasonable or what to plan for. She said she "couldn't send me things until she knew I could pay for it". Really put a bad taste in my mouth. I can't budget for something that I actually just don't know what it costs!
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  • abbyj700abbyj700 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Vivandiere8 said:
    I know there might be reasons for it but I hate when I ask about the price for something wedding related and I am asked about my budget.  The problem is I haven't been married before and I have no idea what's reasonable! My budget for everything would be $100 if I had to say something. All I can really say is, "Um.. uh... It's...what ever is the cheapest way to go..." We are already over budget on everything else so there is no budget left for the rest technically. (having a great credit score is paying off big time)
    Please please please don't go into debt for one day...
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