Confessions/UOs/I Judge/Complaints/Etc

GoldenPenguin · February 2014

@audrewuh - I'm okay with it. I want the actual proposal to be a surprise, but I don't mind being involved with the designing/approval process

audrewuh · February 2014

@andrewuh I'm jealous of your rodeo cook off.

It's going to be so much fun! IT'S RODEO SEASON, Y'ALL!!!

buddysmom80 · February 2014

Blue & White said:

@buddysmom80 I've heard of FAM (mainly because my family is Catholic) but wouldn't want to rely on it as a sole means of birth control. I think it's a decent method for understanding your fertility when you're actively trying to have children, but I think it's a bit naive as a birth control method. At least by itself

SITB:

I agree with you on that, we don't practice that alone (no kids right now, PLEASE) so we use condoms which have worked out pretty well so far!

[Deleted User] · February 2014

confession: I've started talking to H about trying to go off hormones after my GYN appt in early June. I'm curious to see if my body will regulate itself or if it will go ever more PMDD-crazy with no hormones. I've been on BCP for over 10 years.

blabla89 · February 2014

@southernpeach89 what kind? I wanted to get some but I was too busy stuffing my face with cookies.

Confession: I went straight for a new pack of BC because I just can't deal with my period this week. Just. Can't.

phira · February 2014

@CocoBellaF I went on BC when I was 16 for PCOS; before BC, I had my period super irregularly, every 2, 3, or even 4 or 5 months. I went off the pill when I was 24 because I was having surgery, and in the two years I was off the pill (before I got Mirena), my period was CLOCKWORK regular. I used a period tracking application that was incredibly helpful and accurate. One time, I was feeling weird, like a bunch of abdominal twinging. I pulled out my phone and wouldn't you know: I was ovulating.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

@lalalaurita- I got a flavor I haven't tried yet, it was called Americone Dream and it had chocolate covered waffle pieces in vanilla ice cream with caramel swirls. It was delish! I got mad at H though because he stole all the caramel. Last time I ever share my Ice cream with him!

Blue & White · February 2014

@cocobellaF my body is almost completely back to "normal" or as normal as it could be before hormones. My periods just don't come ever 4 weeks because they never did (my mom's and sister's don't either). So although my periods aren't as predictable, it's nice to feel a bit more sane. I have never really had problems with PMS and PMDD so my experience won't be exactly like yours, but I was surprised at how quickly my body got back to normal. I actually didn't have a period at all from may through october but I also lost 15-20 lbs over that time due to illness and my body was just fighting to be alive, so even my docs weren't worried about the lack of period - they knew there was no way in heck I was pregnant, and even then they still made me pee in a cup before every procedure to make sure. I think I legitimately had 10 negative pregnancy tests during that time - it was kinda awkward. But after I was back to normal, things have been just fine. Actually, I like my life without hormones. As long as you have your H's and doctor's support and guidance, I recommend it. And obviously, if something bad happens, it is possible to reevaluate

Peaseblossom55 · February 2014

@brisox81 so excited for you!!!!

@cocobellaF I'm interest and excited and nervous to see what happens when I go off BCP in Sept/Oct when we start trying

@phira what is the app you use for tracking?

KeptInStitches · February 2014

I Judge (really long): I made a new friend in August. In December he was asking me if I knew any "cute, quirky, single girls" because he was looking to date up here (he came from well out of state). By January he was in a new relationship with a lady he hadn't seen in 20 years, and no, I did not set them up. By the end of January he was planning how to move her up here, custom-designing a ring for her (too expensive for his budget - he's told me a lot), and looking to buy a house (living with his dad, too). When I asked him if things weren't moving a little fast, he said they wanted to start trying to have kids ASAP because she was almost 30 and panicking about not being able to. Now, he's also been complaining about his job and I asked him about changing jobs (it's a flexible industry), and he said he can't right now - he needs to be here six more months to establish residency. She needs to go back to school to get the career she really wants. He openly admitted he can't pay his bills without the side work he does. And he's asking her parents' blessing this weekend.

So basically, I judge the entire situation, I judge him for not slowing his roll, I judge her for not being realistic, and I judget them both for not living in reality-land.

Blue & White · February 2014

@KeptinStitches Hi, my name is Blue&White. My FI's ex set up my FI's ex best friend, D, with one of her coworkers, E. E was "OMG I HAVE TO HAVE KIDS BY 27". So she moved to Mississippi oh 3 weeks after meeting this guy, they were engaged within 3 months and married within a year. She didn't invite FI's ex to the wedding. And the bar was fully cash, even soda. They now have two kiddos and don't speak to anyone else involved in this story. It's like they joined a cult, but just including them and her parents. Yes, her parents moved to MS to be close to them.

At the wedding, both D's parents told FI and I that D was making the biggest mistake of his life. But frankly, they've been married longer than we all thought they would be...

Sometimes there are so many red flags you don't even know how to help the guy, ya know?

KeptInStitches · February 2014

@blue, I know he's in his early-mid 30s (I want to say 33-34?) and she's almost 30, but this is crazy. IMO, there's no way he knows her if they haven't spoken for 20 years. Going to the same jr. high is not the same as having an adult relationship. This just really makes me worry. Granted, not everyone has to or should wait 5 years (all else being equal), but there should be some sort of a midground.

ETA: Oh, forgot to mention - they're long-distance right now. Not sure if that was clear or not. So they've seen each other 4 times or so since they started dating?

phira · February 2014

@southernpeach89 That is one of my FAVORITE B&J flavors!

@Peaseblossom55 I don't have it on my phone anymore (I haven't had my period in over a year), but I think it was called P Tracker (hehehehe). It was a little silly looking; the app icon was a cartoon flower, as was the symbol it put on the calendar to show when you'd be ovulating. But it was easy to use and pretty accurate.

Blue & White · February 2014

@keptinstitches yea, I try not to judge based solely on relationship length alone. In this situation, I was more judging that they got married JUST to have kids. All she wanted to be was a stay at home mom and she didn't have a guy, so she just like molded this guy into the guy she wanted. She's currently blocked on facebook because she made a rant about homosexuals that I took offense to - my life feels infinitely better without her

KeptInStitches · February 2014

@blue, I guess more than anything I'm judging the instability and the poor decision-making that I'm seeing on his part.

Peaseblossom55 · February 2014

@phira awesome though thank you!!!!!!!!!!

audrewuh · February 2014

@peaseblossom55 it's called Period Diary. Reading @phira's discription I realized I use the same app.

Peaseblossom55 · February 2014

@audrewuh thank you!

phira · February 2014

@audrewuh Pretty flowers for everyone!

AuroraRose41 · February 2014

More judgement: The MOH in my friend's wedding. I get it, they have been best friends since they were 10. The wedding isn't until September 2015. At first, the MOH was excited for her friend, and helped with planning, and they would hang out (non-wedding related) a lot too. Well, MOH is all about her BF now, it seems. Her BF lives in a town nearby where the B+G are, and it's about a 4 hour drive from where the MOH lives. Since the BF moved to that town last June, MOH has visited her BF a few times a month. And how many times has she visited B+G? 0. She hasn't even reached out to the Bride to tell her she was in the area. They barely talk anymore, Bride has to initiate it, and MOH responds with 1 word at most or not at all. Well, the Bride is going to visit her parents this weekend, and MOH lives nearby there. The Bride texted MOH on Tuesday to tell her she would be in the area, would love to meet up, and that she still has MOH's Christmas present. MOH has not responded to the Bride, but was able to respond last night to a group Facebook message about bridesmaid dress colors. I'm sorry, do you even care about your friend anymore, or is just being in a wedding more important then the actual friendship? /rant

Sorry guys, had to get that one off my chest.

audrewuh · February 2014

"pretty" is relative @phira

KeptInStitches · February 2014

Complaint: I screwed up my test today right at the very end, right as I was ready to collect the data and analyze it. Whole day's worth of work down the drain. Argh ...

audrewuh · February 2014

AuroraRose41 said:

More judgement: The MOH in my friend's wedding. I get it, they have been best friends since they were 10. The wedding isn't until September 2015. At first, the MOH was excited for her friend, and helped with planning, and they would hang out (non-wedding related) a lot too. Well, MOH is all about her BF now, it seems. Her BF lives in a town nearby where the B+G are, and it's about a 4 hour drive from where the MOH lives. Since the BF moved to that town last June, MOH has visited her BF a few times a month. And how many times has she visited B+G? 0. She hasn't even reached out to the Bride to tell her she was in the area. They barely talk anymore, Bride has to initiate it, and MOH responds with 1 word at most or not at all. Well, the Bride is going to visit her parents this weekend, and MOH lives nearby there. The Bride texted MOH on Tuesday to tell her she would be in the area, would love to meet up, and that she still has MOH's Christmas present. MOH has not responded to the Bride, but was able to respond last night to a group Facebook message about bridesmaid dress colors. I'm sorry, do you even care about your friend anymore, or is just being in a wedding more important then the actual friendship? /rant
Sorry guys, had to get that one off my chest.

...and this is why you don't select your bridal party until 6-8 months out. And friendships change a shitton in that amount of time too.

I'm sorry your friend is dealing with a shitty MOH. My BFF has a similar story. She was asked to be the MOH in her friend's wedding with no date set, just "in a couple years." BFF's cousin has now moved in and BFF's friend spends all of her time with cousin, not BFF, to the point that BFF is now excluded from group outings and such. The Friend has been talking wedding plans with the cousin, though!

AuroraRose41 · February 2014

@KeptInStitches that's awful! So sorry

.

KeptInStitches · February 2014

@aurorarose41, thanks. I'll have a hard cider tonight and get over it; right now I'm just super-frustrated.

AuroraRose41 · February 2014

@audrewuh unfortunately the wedding ended up getting pushed back two years due to unforseen circumstances, so my friend asked the bridal party in the 8 month range for the initial date (Fall of 2013). And also, on top of all of this, the Groom hates the MOH, and is now suggesting to the Bride to replace her with me because they both like me and talk to me regularly, even though I live on the opposite side of the country. I basically told them both that if that's what makes them more comfortable, I wouldn't leave them hanging, BUT I would much rather see if the Bride can patch things up with current MOH first. I don't like drama, and if there is a valid reason for MOH's behaivor then I don't want their friendship to end, but I will be there for my friend no matter what basically.

Blue & White · February 2014

@AuroraRose41 in the last wedding I was in, one of the bridesmaids (not the MOH, thankfully) dropped out the week before the bridal shower (about a month before the wedding) in the most dramatic text tirade ever. It was ridiculous. I'm so glad it's over, but I was also REALLY glad that the other girls in the bridal party were so awesome - it was like we weren't even missing anyone, frankly.

AuroraRose41 · February 2014

@Blue & White, that must have been awful for the bride, but gives me hope that everything will be okay. I think the worst part of this whole thing is that my friend wants a bridal shower and bachelorette (not demanding though, just voiced her opinion on it), and the MOH knows this. When the wedding was still supposed to be this past fall, not once did MOH reach out to the rest of us about any sort of planning. Most of us don't know each other, so I thought that MOH would at least reach out for opinions/ideas etc. The wedding was pushed back about 3 months before it was supposed to happen, so I'm pretty sure we should have at least all started the planning. If she stays MOH, I might reach out to everyone still to ask their opinions and not care about stepping on MOH's toes (she's that sort of person.....).

phira · February 2014

I was asked to be a bridesmaid about 6-8 months out, and the wedding also got pushed back. I ended up not being able to afford the plane ticket and hotel to attend the wedding

Blue & White · February 2014

@aurorarose41 just remember that not everyone is a planner. I had the same problem with this friend's MOH not really reaching out consistently (although she did try) and it turns out that she was working like 80 hour days. I took over some of the emailing/planning and she helped coordinate some of the site stuff because she was closer. The shower was amazing (she planned the bachelorette, as I didn't end up going to that)

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