Snarky Brides

It finally happened, the inevitable family drama


Re: It finally happened, the inevitable family drama

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2014
    Your mother shouldn't have told her brother that you were considering inviting his ex wife. It's not his business who is invited to your wedding. I also can't believe the audacity of some people thinking they can change someone else's guest list. Now I agree your mom paying does complicate things, but maybe if you feel this strongly about it you should decline the money and make your own decisions on your guest list.

    Also, usually parents who pay make demands on additional people that need to be invited, not saying who you can't invite. Sorry, no one, not even my own mother, is telling me that I can't invite certain people to my wedding (though she would never do that.)


  • I agree with @laurynm84.  Your mom shouldn't have said anything.  That being said - what's done is done and I think you should just keep your guest list as is (don't alter it just for your petty Uncle and New Aunt).   I invited my aunts and uncles who hate each other and an ex wife of one of other my uncles...They meant something to me since I was little and I wanted them there to celebrate this special occasion!  A good solution is the seating where they'll never have to deal with each other.  Tell your mom not to say anything more and to not talk about wedding details to your uncle and new aunt...explain to her why you want to invite your cousin's mother - and have them sit on opposite sides of the room for the reception. 
  • Honestly I'd keep the verdict of the final guest list between you and fi and everyone can just deal day of.
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I personally would just invite everybody I wanted to. It's not your problem if people can't act like adults about it. The fact that your mom is trying to control things throws it for a loop, but I would try to get her to understand that cousin would like mom to be there and if cousin's dad and wife can't deal with that then they can just not come, and that is not a reflection of you or your parents. Plus it sounds like it's fairly unlikely that cousin's mom will show due to distance. This is what seating charts are for... I wouldn't bother responding to the email, and they can take from that what they will. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Unfortunately, your mom is the joker in the deck here because she's paying and she never should have mentioned to your uncle and his wife that you are thinking about inviting your cousin's mother.

    And even more unfortunately, your uncle and his wife are acting like babies.  They need to be told that they are not entitled to control your guest list.  If they choose not to attend, it sounds like it's their loss and your gain.  It's too bad that your mother is expecting you to be their doormat.

    It sounds like a family come-to-Jesus meeting is in order-and a seating chart that keeps everyone as far away from each other as possible.
  • Jen once again you hit the nail on the head here! :)
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