Themes - how far is too far?

Inkdancer · March 2014

I have had a lot of people ask me what our wedding theme is, and I'm not entirely sure how to answer. I didn't realize that was a thing you needed!

I blame shows like My Fair Wedding , but even then David tends to scale back and prevent his brides from having grass skirts or playing cards plastered all over the room.

FI and I met in a poetry class, and we like vintage stuff, so our centerpieces will be a stack of books (2 or 3, not many) with a teacup full of hydrangea on top. So I guess you could say our theme is books? But really, it's going to be very subtle.

So... tell me your stories! Have you seen any "theme" weddings take it too far? Seen any that were super cute? Mock bad ideas with me!

delujm0 · March 2014

Themes are for proms, not weddings. Your wedding can have an overall decorative "feel" i guess (like "rustic" for example) but there shouldn't really be a theme. that's crazy.

i hate reality wedding tv shows. they're making a mockery of the entire purpose of a wedding.

Inkdancer · March 2014

I'll start: one of my besties is of Chinese descent. As a nod to her family, she had her husband wear a tangzhuang, along with all of the groomsmen. As a bunch of skinny white dudes it really, really didn't suit them. I would have understood having the bridesmaids wear cheongsams, as the bride was Chinese, but having the American groom and his friends in traditional garb just turned out really weird.

Chipmunk415 · March 2014

We didn't have a "theme" but as we didn't have dancing for a lunch time reception, I gave the DJ a list of big band/swing/jazz songs I wanted played, and left the rest to his professional discretion for conversation level music. It honestly felt like we were all in a beautiful, swanky restaurant with the whole place to ourselves. Everyone is still raving about how awesome it was, and some of the staff even admitted it was the coolest, most relaxed, formal wedding they've ever worked.

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

I think themes tip into the over-the-top category when you can clearly TELL there is a theme, because everything matches.

If your wedding looks like a prom, a kid's birthday party, or a costume party, your theme has gone too far.

DH and I were both journalists when we got married (I'm now in politics), and we share a love of reading (as in, we collectively own more than 1,000 books). So our 'theme' was words and writing -- our STDate had our favourite quotes about love on them; in lieu of a guest book, we had copies of our favourite books on the tables; our favours were leaf-shaped bookmarks (October wedding); and instead of table numbers, we did table letters (and then ran them alphabetically, A=1, B=2, etc., so people could find them.)

When you start worshipping the 'theme' at the expense of your guests' comfort -- to say nothing of your friends and family -- you have gone too far.

jdluvr06 · March 2014

I don't have a wedding theme and I've only been to one wedding themed wedding. It was a Halloween themed wedding. It was cute. They didn't go overboard with it. On their wedding website they said if people wanted to they could wear costumes. About half the people did and the other half didn't. It was strange because it was in February but it was fun. A perfect example of a theme wedding going too far is on the syfy channel show "My Big Fat Geek Wedding". Those people took it way to far.

Ven&Radio · March 2014

When I got the theme question, I told people the theme was "simple elegance", which prevented the "omg how can you not have a theme?!!" reaction and was reasonably true. It wasn't really a "theme" so much as our goal was for having a simple but elegant wedding.

Bubblegum5586 · March 2014

I had a "theme" and it was green apples. It was the last day of summer in New England and prime apple season. I liked the green because it complimented our royal blue color scheme and gave it a summery feel instead of too fall like with red apples.

Here's where we had apples;

-Engagement pictures taken in apple orchard

-Centerpieces were large glass vases (all different shapes with lace on them) filled with green apples

-Hard Cider as our signature drink

-Green apple candles that doubled as favors and place cards

-Apple Crisp for dessert

-Then we used the green apple color in the bouquets and napkins (on royal blue table clothes)

I think it was the right amount where people noticed but not over kill. It fit because of the time of year and where we live. And that we LOVE apples. In the fall I eat apples, apple cider, apple crisp, apple pie etc on the daily.

Inkdancer · March 2014

@bubblegum1309 That sounds gorgeous!

ElcaB · March 2014

TBH, theme weddings don't bother me. If that's how a couple wants to celebrate their marriage, it's fine by me, as long as they're proper hosts.

Marzipan13 · March 2014

I'm a big fan of "subtle-to-no" theme.

FI & I met in college, where we both studied music. We definitely wanted to incorporate this love of music, but didn't want to make it too obvious or tacky!

*Our ceremony programs' covers will simply have "half + half = whole" - written in musical notation, not the actual words.
*For our table "numbers", we're doing orchestral instruments (then arranging tables in Orchestral order - more for our own amusement than anyone else's :P) The table signs will be printed on tan staff paper, and just stuck in the dirt of our centerpiece flowers.

*Our guest book will be a conductor's score book, with (lightly printed) manuscript for people to sign.

Like I said, we wanted to incorporate it without screaming "LOOK AT US!! GUESS WHAT WE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR! GUESS WHAT WE LOVE BESIDES EACH OTHER!!".

CrazyCatLady3 · March 2014

I think a better idea than a "theme" is a motif. We are having a NYC skyline motif--it will be on our invites, escort cards, and/or menus/programs, and also on our cake. Our venue looks out on the NYC skyline. But we are not going overboard trying to have a NYC "theme."

wandajune6 · March 2014

Our theme is "we're getting married." Or, rather, no theme. We only went with colors because it was hard to decide on decor without doing that. Though - and I know people will hate me for saying this- I have giggled my way through a few hilariously tacky "shabby chic" weddings. Maybe this is because I don't have a lot of money myself but I fundamentally don't understand why you would spend money to make it look like you don't have any.

hikebikebemerry · March 2014

Too over the top:

Inkdancer · March 2014

hikebikebemerry said:

Too over the top:

While conceptually I think this is fun and cute, as a bridesmaid I'd feel like the bride just picked me to fill a costume :c

grumbledore · March 2014

David Tutera makes me want to murder.

I can't even stand it when people say "What are your colors??????" as if it fucking matters. I'm in the minority, I know, but seriously I just don't think about it that way.

Like, no one asked me what colors I was decorating with for my big Christmas party - why the hell for my wedding? How about "whatever colors I decide I like and buy stuff in?"

Themes are dumb, I dislike them and do not have one.

/endbitterrant

Maggie0829 · March 2014

We didn't have a theme. We got married in a football stadium and we are really into football so I played off of that a bit with a personalized football for pictures and our tables were named after our teams football players. Other then that I just let the stadium speak for itself.

The only time I ask what colors a bride is using or anything specific about a wedding is if it is a really close friend or family member. If it is anyone else I really don't care all that much what they are doing.

FiancB · March 2014

Our wedding sort of took on a life of its own and I guess we sort of ended up with a beachy theme. It might be weird since we are no longer on the beach, but I already bought stuff for it so whatever. The venue happened to have a really yummy Hawaiian buffet option which I thought was fun and different. The invites have little embossed seahorses and shells. I'll most likely have some starfish on the tables, and we will be honeymooning in Hawaii or something like that.

OTOH we suck at themes I guess because we also will be having sheet music/novel paper flowers (I like to read, he's an English teacher and also really into music) and our cake topper has ferrets that look like ours on it. So I guess our theme is "shit we like".

A theme can show your personalities or it can take it away. A good, sublte theme brings attention to the couple and a bad, overdone one takes it away.

hikebikebemerry · March 2014

Inkdancer said:

hikebikebemerry said:

Too over the top:

While conceptually I think this is fun and cute, as a bridesmaid I'd feel like the bride just picked me to fill a costume :c

I think this would be really fun for a costume party, or something like that- but I would feel like I was just a prop. If I were a bridesmaid (or likely attending this wedding), I would be rolling my eyes so hard I would fall backward.

FiancB · March 2014

I just... who likes Disney THAT much???

jdluvr06 · March 2014

FiancB said:

I just... who likes Disney THAT much???

My mother. Lol. I doubt she would ever do that though.

smalfrie19 · March 2014

We have a "secret" theme...it's hydrangeas. Our STDates and invites have hydrangeas on them, our centerpieces are votive holders with tissue paper punched in the shape of hydrangea petals modgepodged on them. Flowers are hydrangeas. I have pins for my hair that are hydrangea petals and our cake will have hydrangea petals on it. But I never SAY that it is the theme, because it doesn't feel like one..its just tying everything together.

kitsunegari89 · March 2014

As a huge Disney fan, I have to say that...

WTF THAT IS RIDICULOUS GO AWAY

http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/wtf/grand/wtf-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-2530.gif

[Deleted User] · March 2014

Catherine and Sean's (from The Bachelor) "grown sexy" theme - HUH?!?

mlemoe03 · March 2014

so...I guess we're having a baseball/Detroit Tigers theme (we're season ticket holders). We're having engagement pics taken at Comerica Park, but also at other downtown Detroit locations. Our invitations/programs/response cards have the Detroit skyline on the bottom and swirls and baseballs along the top. Our tables are going to be current and former Tigers' players, our escort cards are going to be tickets, our colors are Navy and White,and I"m going to have some sort of baseball/ Tigers' cake topper...but that's as far as I'm taking it. FI and I went to a wedding a few years ago with a Tigers' theme..and it was WAY over the top, so I'm using that as my guideline as how far is too far.

MrsAitch · March 2014

grumbledore said:

David Tutera makes me want to murder.

I can't even stand it when people say "What are your colors??????" as if it fucking matters. I'm in the minority, I know, but seriously I just don't think about it that way.

Like, no one asked me what colors I was decorating with for my big Christmas party - why the hell for my wedding? How about "whatever colors I decide I like and buy stuff in?"

Themes are dumb, I dislike them and do not have one.

/endbitterrant

I agree--I feel like a weirdo, but the "what are your colors" question drives me crazy! Why do I even have to have "colors"? I just picked navy for the bridesmaids dresses because it's pretty, classic, and flatters all skin tones and I like pastel flowers so that's what we're having. I guess I did end up with navy type on the invitations and probably a couple of other navy touches, but I refuse to have a specified color scheme.

Themes are even worse. If anyone asks my theme, I say "wedding." I was in a sorority in college and one year the recruitment chair wanted all of the rooms to have a theme. Some girls had "coach purses" or "victoria's secret" or "football" or "travel" or "Paris" or whatever. When she asked our theme my roommates and I said "our theme is 'cute.'" She wasn't so amused, but we thought we were hilarious. And that's what wedding themes make me think of--sorority recruitment. That's also how I feel about matchy-matchy bridesmaids and requiring everyone to wear the same color shoes or jewelry. It makes me think of doing chants and staying up half the night hanging tulle and christmas lights...ok so maybe in some ways, weddings and sorority recruitment have a lot in common.

kitsunegari89 · March 2014

MrsAitch said:

grumbledore said:

David Tutera makes me want to murder.

I can't even stand it when people say "What are your colors??????" as if it fucking matters. I'm in the minority, I know, but seriously I just don't think about it that way.

Like, no one asked me what colors I was decorating with for my big Christmas party - why the hell for my wedding? How about "whatever colors I decide I like and buy stuff in?"

Themes are dumb, I dislike them and do not have one.

/endbitterrant

I agree--I feel like a weirdo, but the "what are your colors" question drives me crazy! Why do I even have to have "colors"? I just picked navy for the bridesmaids dresses because it's pretty, classic, and flatters all skin tones and I like pastel flowers so that's what we're having. I guess I did end up with navy type on the invitations and probably a couple of other navy touches, but I refuse to have a specified color scheme.

Themes are even worse. If anyone asks my theme, I say "wedding." I was in a sorority in college and one year the recruitment chair wanted all of the rooms to have a theme. Some girls had "coach purses" or "victoria's secret" or "football" or "travel" or "Paris" or whatever. When she asked our theme my roommates and I said "our theme is 'cute.'" She wasn't so amused, but we thought we were hilarious. And that's what wedding themes make me think of--sorority recruitment. That's also how I feel about matchy-matchy bridesmaids and requiring everyone to wear the same color shoes or jewelry. It makes me think of doing chants and staying up half the night hanging tulle and christmas lights...ok so maybe in some ways, weddings and sorority recruitment have a lot in common.

I also hate the "what are your colors" question. I'm an illustrator, so I've also been getting alot of "why didn't you make your own invites and hand-painted wall mural and favors etc etc"

Ummmm.... how about because I don't freaking have the time! I bought template cards. Go ahead and judge me. They are PLAIN. I like them. Whatever. It's just an invitation.

PS my colors are "Blood of my enemies" and "rage"

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif

Inkdancer · March 2014

mrshutzler said:

MrsAitch said:

grumbledore said:

David Tutera makes me want to murder.

I can't even stand it when people say "What are your colors??????" as if it fucking matters. I'm in the minority, I know, but seriously I just don't think about it that way.

Like, no one asked me what colors I was decorating with for my big Christmas party - why the hell for my wedding? How about "whatever colors I decide I like and buy stuff in?"

Themes are dumb, I dislike them and do not have one.

/endbitterrant

I agree--I feel like a weirdo, but the "what are your colors" question drives me crazy! Why do I even have to have "colors"? I just picked navy for the bridesmaids dresses because it's pretty, classic, and flatters all skin tones and I like pastel flowers so that's what we're having. I guess I did end up with navy type on the invitations and probably a couple of other navy touches, but I refuse to have a specified color scheme.

Themes are even worse. If anyone asks my theme, I say "wedding." I was in a sorority in college and one year the recruitment chair wanted all of the rooms to have a theme. Some girls had "coach purses" or "victoria's secret" or "football" or "travel" or "Paris" or whatever. When she asked our theme my roommates and I said "our theme is 'cute.'" She wasn't so amused, but we thought we were hilarious. And that's what wedding themes make me think of--sorority recruitment. That's also how I feel about matchy-matchy bridesmaids and requiring everyone to wear the same color shoes or jewelry. It makes me think of doing chants and staying up half the night hanging tulle and christmas lights...ok so maybe in some ways, weddings and sorority recruitment have a lot in common.

I also hate the "what are your colors" question. I'm an illustrator, so I've also been getting alot of "why didn't you make your own invites and hand-painted wall mural and favors etc etc"

Ummmm.... how about because I don't freaking have the time! I bought template cards. Go ahead and judge me. They are PLAIN. I like them. Whatever. It's just an invitation.

PS my colors are "Blood of my enemies" and "rage"

I feel you on the bolded. I'm an event planner, so everyone says "oh this must be so easy for you!" Um... no, doing my work at work and then again at home is neither easy nor fun. And I plan corporate events, which is not like a wedding at all!

hellohkb · March 2014

hikebikebemerry said:

Too over the top:

I must be in the minority here because I'd love to be a bridesmaid in that wedding!

hellohkb · March 2014

Although personally, I feel that weddings should have a "vibe" or a "feel", not an all out theme.

In this wise words of Big Ang:

pinkshorts27 · March 2014

hellokellybean said:

hikebikebemerry said:

Too over the top:

I must be in the minority here because I'd love to be a bridesmaid in that wedding!

Those are some pretty poorly made dresses and not at all flattering on the girls. what if the girls didn't like the princess they got?

Themes - how far is too far?

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