SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!-Vent

Re: SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!-Vent

• abbyj700 member

  

  March 2014

  Instead of being angry - reply thanks, put the link into a place where you're putting all of your wedding ideas and move on. They're excited for you. They want to help. They are in no way trying to change your budget or ruin your day. The fact that this is stressing you out is rather concerning. They aren't forcing you to do anything. They aren't telling you your budget should be higher.

  
  

  Should they listen a little more? Of course? Would their help actually be more helpful if they paid more attention to pricetags? Yes. 

  
  

  But don't lose site of the fact that these are your good friends who are just excited for your big day.

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• MadHops21 member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  Along* with abbyj, I would just ignore the emails. If asked, you can say you saw it but not interested.

  
  

  You've already told them it's out of the budget, so just ignoring emails would probably be the best. 

  
  

  ETA *fingers can't spell

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• raeah219 member

  

  March 2014

  Yea, I'm probably over reacting but its still super annoying. Its just like if you told somebody you needed help finding a red dress and they kept sending you pictures of blue dresses. 

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• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  I do suggest you buy a copy of Bridal Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields.  They helped us save at least a thousand dollars on daughter's wedding.
  I think your post is hilarious!  Do you have any idea how many posts we get from bides complaining that their brideslaves aren't interested in helping to plan their wedding?  This is a first!
  Miss Manner's daughter was married in an afternoon ceremony with a tea reception.  I'm sure the tea was first class, but if SHE didn't need a full open bar, dancing and sit down dinner reception, then neither do you!  Enjoy planning your perfectly proper wedding!  Kudos!
  
  

  

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• shaylagirl member

  

  March 2014

  Maybe they just want to share for fun?  I mean, my budget was less than $5k, but that never stopped me from wanting to look at expensive venues and dream, or get ideas, share them with my sister and mother (who helped and did LOTS of DIY stuff [because they're crafty and I am not!]).  Perhaps that's all your BM are doing?
  
  Mostly, I'd just blow them off if it's really upsetting you.  Say "Thanks for the link!"  Then click delete.  No harm, no foul!
  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Inkdancer member

  

  March 2014

  Sounds like my FMIL... her "helpful" ideas range from DIY projects better suited to children's parties than weddings, to "oh look at this venue" that is literally twice my budget.
  
  I ended up having a sobbing meltdown at FI over how frustrated I was that his family wanted all these things that we can't afford. I think he must have told her, because she stopped after that.
  

  

  

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• tesgirl123 member

  

  March 2014

  You're fine.   If venting here makes it easier to deal with and it doesn't cost you a lifelong friendship, that's fine.   Just keep the venting here.   Also, there is the possibility that your BMs are sending you stuff out of "HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THESE PRICES!!!" rather than as actual suggestions.

  Again, you're fine...keep venting here instead of in person.   Anonymous internet support group works wonders.

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• larrygaga member

  

  March 2014

  I'm saving this place for dramatic overreactions too, because I would rather piss of a bunch of internet people than my family and friends. You're good, later you can look back on this and go "lol"

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• tesgirl123 member

  

  March 2014

  larrygaga said:

  I'm saving this place for dramatic overreactions too, because I would rather piss of a bunch of internet people than my family and friends. You're good, later you can look back on this and go "lol"

  
  Exactly, I bitched here about my FI's cousin after all sorts of drama where we were asked to have her as a FG in our wedding.   I said some pretty mean things here under the veil of anonymity (rather than my FB or in person).   You're safe here.   Vent away

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• CaliMel11 member

  

  March 2014

  That's what this place is for!!
  Sometimes you just need to vent it out. *hugs*
  I promise in a few months you probably won't even remember 99.9% of the things that were vent worthy when they happened.
  

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• Amyzen83 member

  

  March 2014

  You know I love my sister a lot and she has lots of good ideas and now that her wedding madness is over and done with, she's now really gung-ho about ours and I couldn't be more greatful...BUT my sister has expensive tastes and some of the ideas she throws at me I can't see how they'd fit in our budget especially since they don't meet our guests needs other than the fact that it's eye candy. She's even complained to me about how certain bridesmaids aren't pulling their weight and fullfilling their "duties". And she's even voiced annoyance about my fi and his mom.
  
  This stuff was starting to drive me crazy especially when she was trash talking the people I love and care about. I called up my matron of honor who has been a wonderful mentor to me and asked her for advice and it helped a lot so I want to share with you what she told me. First relax, breath and don't let these little things get to you, because you already have enough on your plate. These girls are excited for you and want to help and be there for you and are doing what they thing is best. So I'd laugh let it roll off your back, vent here if it gets to be too much and just keep planning your wedding as if nothing's wrong becaus at this point there is nothing wrong.

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• raeah219 member

  

  March 2014

  Thanks for the support ladies

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