Dang, no livestock is coming to us. Not a dowry. Now I want Dad to raise a few chickens just so I can be traditional.
Blushers are prohibited as the church finds hiding your face to be going into a marriage to be potentially hiding yourself. I stopped paying attention because I didn't want to wear one, so it didn't make a big deal.
Oops, guess I'm not traditional. I have premarital relations. My dad apparently rolled his eyes at DF letting my parents know he was proposing since I'm an independent adult. My dad REFUSES to walk me down the aisle as I'm not property to be given away. My maternal grandparents would return from his grave to disown my dad if he did that while his parents and step grandmother beat sense into him. We're doing first looks and I'm not wearing a blusher. Actually, our church forbids blushers.
Guess I'm having a new fangled, hippy wedding.
Does the amount my dad pays for the wedding count as my dowry?
It only counts as a dowry if he throws in some goats and chickens.
@QueerFemme - I truly never thought of the gender specific language. Thanks for your post - it has made me think differently about that. I will try in the future to be more inclusive in how I refer to a couple if I don't know their genders.
The reason people don't typically think about gender specific language is because there is a distinct Hetero privilege and they are a Cisgender Hetero. I am too, but fortunately I have some amazing people in my life who have, gently, bopped me over the head with the reality of what they deal with day-to-day. The good news is you are open to learning and changing.
There's nothing I loathe more than people saying "I'm not a feminist." When a woman says it I die a little.
Well, there's a difference between second and third wave feminism and the original idea of feminism. I am unfortunate enough to know a few girls who consider themselves feminists and are the women who scream at men on the streets for telling these women to have a good day or to 'smile'. They scream when men hold doors for them, or even speak to them assuming these men have interest in them.
If you look online-at tumblr and other blogging sites, it's unfortunate to see a large amount of this type of feminism running rampant. A large portion of women are considering themselves 'equalists' nowadays to avoid the stigma that 'social media feminism' (i did a HUGE paper on that last term) are creating for women.
I don't blame her for not wanting to call herself a feminist. I don't want to be associated with that type of feminism either.
This is not feminism. This is rudeness. Also, I've found that the women who assume all men are polite because the men are interested in the women are the women for whom that is wishful thinking, quite honestly.
The OP, assuming she isn't a troll, is neither a feminist nor an equalist. She's a dark-ages misogynist who apparently believes possession of a penis makes you a better human being than possession of a vagina does.
I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
There's nothing I loathe more than people saying "I'm not a feminist." When a woman says it I die a little.
Well, there's a difference between second and third wave feminism and the original idea of feminism. I am unfortunate enough to know a few girls who consider themselves feminists and are the women who scream at men on the streets for telling these women to have a good day or to 'smile'. They scream when men hold doors for them, or even speak to them assuming these men have interest in them.
If you look online-at tumblr and other blogging sites, it's unfortunate to see a large amount of this type of feminism running rampant. A large portion of women are considering themselves 'equalists' nowadays to avoid the stigma that 'social media feminism' (i did a HUGE paper on that last term) are creating for women.
I don't blame her for not wanting to call herself a feminist. I don't want to be associated with that type of feminism either.
To be fair, it is pretty fucking patronizing to tell a woman you don't know to smile. I will smile if I fucking want to smile, and any comments on how I'd "look prettier" if I smiled makes you a fucking sexist douchebag.
There's nothing I loathe more than people saying "I'm not a feminist." When a woman says it I die a little.
Well, there's a difference between second and third wave feminism and the original idea of feminism. I am unfortunate enough to know a few girls who consider themselves feminists and are the women who scream at men on the streets for telling these women to have a good day or to 'smile'. They scream when men hold doors for them, or even speak to them assuming these men have interest in them.
If you look online-at tumblr and other blogging sites, it's unfortunate to see a large amount of this type of feminism running rampant. A large portion of women are considering themselves 'equalists' nowadays to avoid the stigma that 'social media feminism' (i did a HUGE paper on that last term) are creating for women.
I don't blame her for not wanting to call herself a feminist. I don't want to be associated with that type of feminism either.
This is not feminism. This is rudeness. Also, I've found that the women who assume all men are polite because the men are interested in the women are the women for whom that is wishful thinking, quite honestly.
The OP, assuming she isn't a troll, is neither a feminist nor an equalist. She's a dark-ages misogynist who apparently believes possession of a penis makes you a better human being than possession of a vagina does.
If I go purchase myself a penis, I am now in possession of both. What level of human am I?
I just read over this whole thing and I gotta say, the fact that we devolved from the OP thinking she's a "traditional" bride into a discussion on feminism and the magical penis makes me laugh.
There's nothing I loathe more than people saying "I'm not a feminist." When a woman says it I die a little.
Well, there's a difference between second and third wave feminism and the original idea of feminism. I am unfortunate enough to know a few girls who consider themselves feminists and are the women who scream at men on the streets for telling these women to have a good day or to 'smile'. They scream when men hold doors for them, or even speak to them assuming these men have interest in them.
If you look online-at tumblr and other blogging sites, it's unfortunate to see a large amount of this type of feminism running rampant. A large portion of women are considering themselves 'equalists' nowadays to avoid the stigma that 'social media feminism' (i did a HUGE paper on that last term) are creating for women.
I don't blame her for not wanting to call herself a feminist. I don't want to be associated with that type of feminism either.
To be fair, it is pretty fucking patronizing to tell a woman you don't know to smile. I will smile if I fucking want to smile, and any comments on how I'd "look prettier" if I smiled makes you a fucking sexist douchebag.
And there it is. It's not patronizing. If anything it's polite. It's in the same category as wishing someone a good day. Should we get upset when men tell us to have a good day as well? How patronizing is it for them to tell us whether or not we should have a good day?
It is patronizing. You don't know why I'm not smiling, and honestly it isn't your business. Just because you aren't put off by someone telling you to smile doesn't invalidate my experience and feelings.
There's nothing I loathe more than people saying "I'm not a feminist." When a woman says it I die a little.
Well, there's a difference between second and third wave feminism and the original idea of feminism. I am unfortunate enough to know a few girls who consider themselves feminists and are the women who scream at men on the streets for telling these women to have a good day or to 'smile'. They scream when men hold doors for them, or even speak to them assuming these men have interest in them.
If you look online-at tumblr and other blogging sites, it's unfortunate to see a large amount of this type of feminism running rampant. A large portion of women are considering themselves 'equalists' nowadays to avoid the stigma that 'social media feminism' (i did a HUGE paper on that last term) are creating for women.
I don't blame her for not wanting to call herself a feminist. I don't want to be associated with that type of feminism either.
To be fair, it is pretty fucking patronizing to tell a woman you don't know to smile. I will smile if I fucking want to smile, and any comments on how I'd "look prettier" if I smiled makes you a fucking sexist douchebag.
And there it is. It's not patronizing. If anything it's polite. It's in the same category as wishing someone a good day. Should we get upset when men tell us to have a good day as well? How patronizing is it for them to tell us whether or not we should have a good day?
It is patronizing. You don't know why I'm not smiling, and honestly it isn't your business. Just because you aren't put off by someone telling you to smile doesn't invalidate my experience and feelings.
Of course there are differences in feminism!! OMG that is what makes it so amazing and wonderful! I'm sorry but the argument that someone doesn't want to be associated with a definition 30+ years out of date, is meaningless. Feminism is being defined and redefined everyday. If someone is afraid of being identified as a particular kind of feminist, they only have to act and speak like the type of feminist they do want to be identified as.
I agree that it is patronizing. If someone (man or woman) tell you to "c'mon give me a smile. You'll look so much prettier if you smile." 1- I shouldn't have to give you anything and why should I care if smiling will make me more attractive to some stranger on the street? 2- Someone has to feel pretty entitled (or privileged) to demand that of someone they don't know (it falls into the same category as catcalls, etc.).
There's nothing I loathe more than people saying "I'm not a feminist." When a woman says it I die a little.
Well, there's a difference between second and third wave feminism and the original idea of feminism. I am unfortunate enough to know a few girls who consider themselves feminists and are the women who scream at men on the streets for telling these women to have a good day or to 'smile'. They scream when men hold doors for them, or even speak to them assuming these men have interest in them.
If you look online-at tumblr and other blogging sites, it's unfortunate to see a large amount of this type of feminism running rampant. A large portion of women are considering themselves 'equalists' nowadays to avoid the stigma that 'social media feminism' (i did a HUGE paper on that last term) are creating for women.
I don't blame her for not wanting to call herself a feminist. I don't want to be associated with that type of feminism either.
To be fair, it is pretty fucking patronizing to tell a woman you don't know to smile. I will smile if I fucking want to smile, and any comments on how I'd "look prettier" if I smiled makes you a fucking sexist douchebag.
And there it is. It's not patronizing. If anything it's polite. It's in the same category as wishing someone a good day. Should we get upset when men tell us to have a good day as well? How patronizing is it for them to tell us whether or not we should have a good day?
It is patronizing. You don't know why I'm not smiling, and honestly it isn't your business. Just because you aren't put off by someone telling you to smile doesn't invalidate my experience and feelings.
Do you get upset when someone-male or female-tells you to have a good day? It's a polite gesture. The idea behind the smiling thing is that men will find you automatically more attractive when you smile. So women get upset when men tell them to smile and end up being just absolutely rude to them.
If we feel oppressed or offended when a man tells you to smile, that's fine. But we certainly don't have to take it to the level of screaming at them on the streets to leave us alone. Then it crosses to the rudeness line.
Anyway, feminism is an extremely interesting topic. It's also one of those that we could argue about for days and not get anywhere.
I never touched on the "good day" because its apples to oranges with the smiling.
I also never said yelling and screaming was appropriate. I just said telling a stranger to smile is patronizing.
And even though I might agree yelling and screaming isn't appropriate, if someone is (using your word cause I never said the smiling was an example of oppression) oppressing me, I should just take it so as to not be rude? Women are constantly told that standing up for themselves or having a backbone makes them a bitch, I don't see hpw this isn't furthering that harmful message.
There's nothing I loathe more than people saying "I'm not a feminist." When a woman says it I die a little.
Well, there's a difference between second and third wave feminism and the original idea of feminism. I am unfortunate enough to know a few girls who consider themselves feminists and are the women who scream at men on the streets for telling these women to have a good day or to 'smile'. They scream when men hold doors for them, or even speak to them assuming these men have interest in them.
If you look online-at tumblr and other blogging sites, it's unfortunate to see a large amount of this type of feminism running rampant. A large portion of women are considering themselves 'equalists' nowadays to avoid the stigma that 'social media feminism' (i did a HUGE paper on that last term) are creating for women.
I don't blame her for not wanting to call herself a feminist. I don't want to be associated with that type of feminism either.
To be fair, it is pretty fucking patronizing to tell a woman you don't know to smile. I will smile if I fucking want to smile, and any comments on how I'd "look prettier" if I smiled makes you a fucking sexist douchebag.
And there it is. It's not patronizing. If anything it's polite. It's in the same category as wishing someone a good day. Should we get upset when men tell us to have a good day as well? How patronizing is it for them to tell us whether or not we should have a good day?
It is patronizing. You don't know why I'm not smiling, and honestly it isn't your business. Just because you aren't put off by someone telling you to smile doesn't invalidate my experience and feelings.
Of course there are differences in feminism!! OMG that is what makes it so amazing and wonderful! I'm sorry but the argument that someone doesn't want to be associated with a definition 30+ years out of date, is meaningless. Feminism is being defined and redefined everyday. If someone is afraid of being identified as a particular kind of feminist, they only have to act and speak like the type of feminist they do want to be identified as.
I agree that it is patronizing. If someone (man or woman) tell you to "c'mon give me a smile. You'll look so much prettier if you smile." 1- I shouldn't have to give you anything and why should I care if smiling will make me more attractive to some stranger on the street? 2- Someone has to feel pretty entitled (or privileged) to demand that of someone they don't know (it falls into the same category as catcalls, etc.).
See and I obviously disagree. I'm confused as to when saying 'smile' became in the same derogatory category as catcalls. Now if they follow it by a comment on your physical appearance-that then it definitely becomes derogatory. I'm just so interested in this idea that being to smile became oppressive.
Is anyone on a regular feminist website? If someone comes across a good discussion, ya'll should link me to it!
There is a world of difference between telling someone to smile and telling someone to have a nice day.
To get you started on thinking about the difference and why telling a women to smile is patronizing, have you ever heard anyone tell a man to smile?
Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
Wishing someone a good day is totally different than telling someone to smile, IMO. I've been told many times by random strangers to smile. It's patronizing and I can't fucking stand it. And these weren't people I was previously interacting with. I've had men just walk right up to me and tell me I should be smiling. Maybe I'm not smiling for a reason! Maybe a loved one just died. Maybe I just got fired from my job. And who the fuck walks around smiling anyway?
Telling someone "have a nice day" is basically saying "I hope your day isn't shitty". Telling a woman to "smile" is bullshit. Men have been saying "smile!! you look prettier that way!" for decades. We are not here for their viewing pleasure. That message isn't saying "I hope your day isn't shitty", it's "smile, even if your day IS shitty, because I don't like to look at you unless you are smiling".
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
Men telling women to smile is sexual harassment. I mean, don't get me wrong: if it happens to you and it doesn't faze you or ruin your day, GOOD! I am in favor of not having your day ruined. But for many of us, it's uncomfortable at best, often degrading and infuriating, and at worst, it can be terrifying. I've been in situations where what could have been perceived as a totally harmless/complimentary interaction have been, in fact, unbelievably terrifying.
This is a tumblr created and run by a friend of mine who does a lot of anti-violence work, as well as reproductive rights work. Sometimes, she's got articles; other times, just an image or comic; sometimes just short messages; sometimes, questions from readers. It's a favorite of mine because I like getting the mixture of different kinds of posts, and she updates super frequently.
This is probably my favorite progressive feminist website. There's a lot of shoot-the-shit posts (daily dose of cute animal photos, for example), but the blogger and contributors are all incredibly sharp and insightful. There are also TONS of "Feminism 101" posts that deal with various issues.
Some good posts that touch on the smiling issue are HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE
Shakesville is not exactly for the newbie-to-feminism, since it can inspire som very defensive feelings at first. However, I still highly recommend it because of the no-bullshit, no-couching-the-language take-downs of misogyny, racism, and other institutional prejudices.
If you are a more visual person, and/or you like lots of examples of sexism, heterosexism, racism, classism, etc. when you're looking for progressive analysis, this is a great site. They occasionally do round-ups, especially around holidays (like Valentine's Day or Mother's Day), in case you've missed some choice posts over the months/years.
There's always Feministing.com as well, but I haven't been reading them for a while, so I can't really recommend them (not because they suck, but because I don't read them anymore, so I can't comment on the content).
I do not recommend Jezebel Sometimes, they nail a situation, but more frequently, it's just really not very progressive.
@abbyj700 Lately I have been saying "stand on one foot." I figure if we are just telling strangers what to do I'll start doing it back. The difference, of course, is that I am rarely physically intimidating to a man. So Its easy for me to say a smart comment back in public, etc, but I won't do it alone. And the type of guy to tell you to smile knows that. Telling a woman to smile is so patronizing. Here is all you need to realize- who gets wished a good day? Everyone. Who get's told to smile? Women.
Also, people who say they don't want to be associated with "bad feminists" or "mean feminists." I had felt that way in the past, I agree that there are crazy people who are also feminists. But there are crazy people who are a lot of things that I am (catholic, christian, a woman, from my town) I don't say I am not a woman just because some woman are murders or bad people.
@queerfemme I refreshed my page before I posted and tried to like your comment, but realized I already had. tried to double like it.
The smiling thing pisses me off because it's definitely more expected from women than men. For example, when I worked at a restaurant I was constantly reprimanded for not smiling enough/not being super bubbly (mind you- I don't walk around looking pissed. At worst, I look like I'm concentrating on getting an order correct).
Yet I look around and see male servers that aren't smiling. They come across as being matter-of-fact and business-like. As a woman I come across as being curt, rude, cold, and uncaring- less feminine, basically. This applies to a lot of situations, not just work.
A more extreme example was not so much about smiling but owing conversation was a blog that I can't seem to find now. A woman wrote about an experience on a Subway where she was reading a book and a guy started hitting on her and she ignored him and he flipped his shit and screamed at her and threatened her. More extreme but sort of the same idea- that as women we need to be super warm and inviting to everyone and owe conversation, smiles, etc.
"have a nice day" is totally different and is just pleasant discourse. Telling someone that they have the wrong facial expression on is not.
The smiling thing pisses me off because it's definitely more expected from women than men. For example, when I worked at a restaurant I was constantly reprimanded for not smiling enough/not being super bubbly (mind you- I don't walk around looking pissed. At worst, I look like I'm concentrating on getting an order correct).
Yet I look around and see male servers that aren't smiling. They come across as being matter-of-fact and business-like. As a woman I come across as being curt, rude, cold, and uncaring- less feminine, basically. This applies to a lot of situations, not just work.
A more extreme example was not so much about smiling but owing conversation was a blog that I can't seem to find now. A woman wrote about an experience on a Subway where she was reading a book and a guy started hitting on her and she ignored him and he flipped his shit and screamed at her and threatened her. More extreme but sort of the same idea- that as women we need to be super warm and inviting to everyone and owe conversation, smiles, etc.
"have a nice day" is totally different and is just pleasant discourse. Telling someone that they have the wrong facial expression on is not.
@FiancB When I was a waitress I was told to smile constantly. Apparently I have a bitchy face otherwise. I'm all like "I can't help it. That's how my face is." And I had customers tell me this! I just told them that it hurt to smile all the time and made a point not smile the rest of their visit lol
Part of my job is customer service. I tell people to have a good day all the damn time.
It's not patronising (and sometimes, it's not even sincere, because if you've pissed me off enough, I want you to have a crappy day). It's part of my job description.
I would never, never, EVER tell someone to 'smile' because OMFG that is so horribly rude and patronising and inappropriate.
So, if a man says, 'You'd look prettier if you smiled,' is it OK for a woman to say, 'And you'd look more handsome if you lost 20 pounds'?
How is that any different?
I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
Telling a woman to smile is NOT being "polite"--I really can't even understand this argument at all. It's one more way of telling women what to do with their bodies and how to make themselves more attractive to men. On top of that, smiling is associated with "niceness" ==if someone's smiling they look "nicer" and society has this expectation that women be "nice". I actually wrote a BA thesis on a related topic so I could go on for a really long time about this, but I will try to refrain.
@shrekspeare I usually agree with you, but not on the smiling thing. Usually when this happens to me, it's on the subway or in the subway station (confined quarters). He leans up close and says, "Why don't you smile?" and then gives me a look head to toe. It's not just patronizing, it's harassing and creepy. Same thing as when a man leans in really close in my ear and says something like, "You're so beautiful" or whatever. When written down these things might sound friendly or innocuous, but these men are exploiting the power differential to make me feel like I'm just there as the object of their gaze, for their pleasure.
Meanwhile, if a man sits down next to me on the train, asks me what I'm reading or where I'm headed, chit chats, and then tells me to have a good day-- that could be a totally friendly and not creepy conversation. It's all about the way it's done, whether the guy is being intimidating or legitimately trying to be nice or strike up a conversation. Heck, I've been asked out on the subway in ways that did not feel objectifying and actually made me feel flattered. It's all in the way it's approached. Want to talk to me like a human being? Sure. Want to tell me to smile, on the assumption I'll look prettier to you? No.
I don't advocate screaming at people just for holding a door or talking to you at all. That's just rude and nasty. But we shouldn't feel trapped by expectations of politeness either. My usual response is to either say no, walk away if I can, or completely ignore. And stop from automatically smiling, which is actually hard to do.
"I'm not a rude bitch. I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."
I just have to say...this thread has been all kinds of win. My favorite moments?
1)The tight budget that can't include flowers for one single other woman - but affords a destination wedding.
2)The sheer lack of an understanding of what a libertarian is.
3)The power men get from their 3rd leg and the ability to walk on said leg.
4)The definition of feminism
And finally...PPD's. And the fact that I no longer live in fear of TK shame for my sisters forced PPD by governmental ignorance.
Good times...good times...
Edited for stupid formatting...
... has anyone actually seen someone scream at someone else for holding the door open? I always thank people for holding the door open for me.
No and it's probably just a trope. But I sort of love the idea there is someplace, somewhere full of angry screaming feminists and bewildered men holding open doors.
"I'm not a rude bitch. I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."
... has anyone actually seen someone scream at someone else for holding the door open? I always thank people for holding the door open for me.
Same here. In fact I get pissed when people (man or woman) see that I am coming and make no effort at all to hold the door for me. It is called manners and being polite.
And if anyone, man or woman, tells me I need to smile I just want to slap them. I have, what they now call, a bitchy resting face. Always have, always will and smiling when I am not in the mood looks completely fake and ridiculous. I also find people that walk around smiling all the time to be kind of weird (sorry to anyone who does that).
All this talk about feminism reminds me of a conversation with a friend. I mentioned that I was a feminist (I like voting, driving and earning as much as my male coworkers) but she completely shutdown the minute I even uttered the word. To her it's a dirty word comprising
of females who have no morals or females who likes to burn bras. I was astounded since I am neither of those things. I wish that word didn't provoke such a negative reaction to some people.
... has anyone actually seen someone scream at someone else for holding the door open? I always thank people for holding the door open for me.
No and it's probably just a trope. But I sort of love the idea there is someplace, somewhere full of angry screaming feminists and bewildered men holding open doors.
Legitimately laughing out loud at work right now. Amazing mental image.
@shrekspeare No problem! I'd say Shakesville is one of the best blogs I've ever read, and it's consistently interesting and engaging. That said, it wasn't my introduction to a lot of feminist ideas (I have a degree in Women's Studies), but it definitely strives to be as inclusive and progressive as possible. The same can't really be said about every women's studies class I took.
Re: Traditional Brides?
Blushers are prohibited as the church finds hiding your face to be going into a marriage to be potentially hiding yourself. I stopped paying attention because I didn't want to wear one, so it didn't make a big deal.
To be fair, it is pretty fucking patronizing to tell a woman you don't know to smile. I will smile if I fucking want to smile, and any comments on how I'd "look prettier" if I smiled makes you a fucking sexist douchebag.
If I go purchase myself a penis, I am now in possession of both. What level of human am I?
And there it is. It's not patronizing. If anything it's polite. It's in the same category as wishing someone a good day. Should we get upset when men tell us to have a good day as well? How patronizing is it for them to tell us whether or not we should have a good day?
It is patronizing. You don't know why I'm not smiling, and honestly it isn't your business. Just because you aren't put off by someone telling you to smile doesn't invalidate my experience and feelings.
It is patronizing. You don't know why I'm not smiling, and honestly it isn't your business. Just because you aren't put off by someone telling you to smile doesn't invalidate my experience and feelings.
Do you get upset when someone-male or female-tells you to have a good day? It's a polite gesture. The idea behind the smiling thing is that men will find you automatically more attractive when you smile. So women get upset when men tell them to smile and end up being just absolutely rude to them.
I never touched on the "good day" because its apples to oranges with the smiling.
I also never said yelling and screaming was appropriate. I just said telling a stranger to smile is patronizing.
And even though I might agree yelling and screaming isn't appropriate, if someone is (using your word cause I never said the smiling was an example of oppression) oppressing me, I should just take it so as to not be rude? Women are constantly told that standing up for themselves or having a backbone makes them a bitch, I don't see hpw this isn't furthering that harmful message.
Telling someone "have a nice day" is basically saying "I hope your day isn't shitty". Telling a woman to "smile" is bullshit. Men have been saying "smile!! you look prettier that way!" for decades. We are not here for their viewing pleasure. That message isn't saying "I hope your day isn't shitty", it's "smile, even if your day IS shitty, because I don't like to look at you unless you are smiling".
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
I do not recommend Jezebel
@abbyj700 Lately I have been saying "stand on one foot." I figure if we are just telling strangers what to do I'll start doing it back. The difference, of course, is that I am rarely physically intimidating to a man. So Its easy for me to say a smart comment back in public, etc, but I won't do it alone. And the type of guy to tell you to smile knows that. Telling a woman to smile is so patronizing. Here is all you need to realize- who gets wished a good day? Everyone. Who get's told to smile? Women.
Also, people who say they don't want to be associated with "bad feminists" or "mean feminists." I had felt that way in the past, I agree that there are crazy people who are also feminists. But there are crazy people who are a lot of things that I am (catholic, christian, a woman, from my town) I don't say I am not a woman just because some woman are murders or bad people.
@queerfemme I refreshed my page before I posted and tried to like your comment, but realized I already had. tried to double like it.
@FiancB When I was a waitress I was told to smile constantly. Apparently I have a bitchy face otherwise. I'm all like "I can't help it. That's how my face is." And I had customers tell me this! I just told them that it hurt to smile all the time and made a point not smile the rest of their visit lol