FI and I attended a bridal show at our venue on Sunday, they had this AMAZING dessert bar with all "cocktail desserts"
Here are some pictures:
We loved it and would like to include it at our reception. This was obviously not in the original budget, but I started thinking about how much we would enjoy this and I think our guests would have more fun with this than just passed cake. Our cake budget is also very small and the cake would have been very simple, the bar is much nicer overall and provides options.
FI said he would still like for us to feed each other cake and is worried we will miss out on it. My idea was to have a very small tier made up just for cake cutting and we can feed each other the cake, the staff can cut it up and place the slices on the table with the cocktail desserts and open the dessert bar.
My worry is there will not be enough cake for each person to have a slice. I don't want to come off as rude by having something that not all of my guests can enjoy. At the same time the cocktail desserts will not be one for each person either. There is really no reason to have 80 of each type, I don't think anyone wants to have 4 desserts but there will be plenty for everyone to be able to try possibly 2 things and some can have cake.
Is this idea totally nuts?
Re: Thinking of skipping the cake - kind of?
You never know who is going to want to consume what. But as you yourself pointed out, the appearance of a dessert that not everyone can have would be rude. If you want to host everyone properly, I'd make sure everyone can get at least one slice of cake and one dessert and worry less about wastefulness. This is not to say that I don't sympathize with your desire not to spend money on food items that don't get consumed, but don't do that at the expense of disappointing guests. I like Maggie's idea of you and your FI exchanging cocktail desserts rather than cake and just skipping cake altogether.
We had similar food to you but swap late night snack for cookie bar. We had 110 total but DH and I didn't actually eat any dessert.
For dessert we had 48 slices of chocolate cheesecake, 48 slices of vanilla with cherry cheesecake, and about 60-70 slices of cake. All dessert slices were a decent size.
We cut the cake upon entering the reception. It was then sliced and put on the dessert buffet with the cheesecake slices. There was a break between dinner and the dessert buffet opening. We also had take home boxes for the desserts and cookies. At the end of the night I'm guessing we had 50 slices of dessert left over about equal amounts of each type.
Since your cake will be on a buffet side by side with the other choices I don't think you need a slice for everyone. Personally as a guest I woudn't eat the cake with those other choices available. If you are doing about 2 cocktail desserts per person and they are of decent size I think you can be OK with cake to serve 60-70% for a total of just over 2.5 desserts per person. With this said, it might not be much more to get a slightly larger cake to serve 100% so it is worth checking.
I would also print up menus and put at least one on each table. We did these DIY on regular paper. My DH doesn't have a huge sweet tooth but he likes to eat. If he knew a yummy late night snack was coming up he would probably eat fewer desserts.