Well...I think the saga has Finally come to an ugly end

PennyBlossom2311 · March 2014

Hello everyone. Thank you for all of the support. I do really appreciate it. I have actually just gotten off of the phone with the bride's mother. What I thought was going to be a very ugly conversation turned out to be a very good one with her expressing similar concerns. She was glad that work was, in fact, steady and hours were not getting cut back. She has many of the similar concerns about drugs, gambling, another woman that I have had, but doesn't want to jump to that conclusion. She said she understood about me asking my father if things were alright. She said she would have done the same thing. I haven't talked to my friend and I doubt I will any time soon, I am glad that I was able to speak with her mother. I didn't offer any new information but she said that when she was told about everything, things seemed very one-sided and she wanted to hear the whole thing becasue she knew something didn't sound right. She has known my father for years and said she never thought he would say something about her FSIL for no reson. We'll see.

MairePoppy · March 2014

That was nice of her to put your mind at ease. You know that her family is aware now and MOB knows that you care about her daughter.

Cookie Pusher · March 2014

I agree that you did nothing wrong. I just have a question, though. How did your friend know you talked to your dad? Did he call her (ex)FI or something? I feel like I lost part of the story.

PennyBlossom2311 · March 2014

@ Cookie Pusher - My dad is a supervisor in the shop next to her FI's shop. He talked to the other supervisor that is over her FI. He said that the other supervisor had been complaining about him not coming in at a meeting and, from what I have gathered, that's when it all came out. Her FI's supervisor called him on not coming in. He said since it's been almost two weeks, he needed something more substantial than an "I don't feel well" He wanted a doctor's letter. My guess is his supervisor mentioned my dad.

Her wedding is back on and they are back together. She wants to have coffee with me and her FI....Nope, not happening.

hikebikebemerry · March 2014

PennyBlossom2311 said:

@ Cookie Pusher - My dad is a supervisor in the shop next to her FI's shop. He talked to the other supervisor that is over her FI. He said that the other supervisor had been complaining about him not coming in at a meeting and, from what I have gathered, that's when it all came out. Her FI's supervisor called him on not coming in. He said since it's been almost two weeks, he needed something more substantial than an "I don't feel well" He wanted a doctor's letter. My guess is his supervisor mentioned my dad.

Her wedding is back on and they are back together. She wants to have coffee with me and her FI....Nope, not happening.

Holy fuck. That's terrifying that they're already back together.

And it's really strange that she has moved from, "you're a terrible human being" to "oh hay, coffee?" There is so much going on here, I think you should definitely leave a bit of space so that you can do some emotional healing for all of the hurtful things that were said to you, and to make sure not to become involved in that cluster.

Edited for clarity.

To reiterate:

Sugargirl1019 · March 2014

Wow. Wow wow wow. I second (thirtyone?) all the PP's..

Please please keep us updated further. I'm so morbidly curious now - he must be up to something

I'm sorry your friend won't just end things with him and save herself!

Cookie Pusher · March 2014

PennyBlossom2311 said:

@ Cookie Pusher - My dad is a supervisor in the shop next to her FI's shop. He talked to the other supervisor that is over her FI. He said that the other supervisor had been complaining about him not coming in at a meeting and, from what I have gathered, that's when it all came out. Her FI's supervisor called him on not coming in. He said since it's been almost two weeks, he needed something more substantial than an "I don't feel well" He wanted a doctor's letter. My guess is his supervisor mentioned my dad.

Her wedding is back on and they are back together. She wants to have coffee with me and her FI....Nope, not happening.

I'm sorry, but that is full of so much HELL NO. Nope. Walk away slowly. Sudden movements may cause another tantrum!

jdluvr06 · March 2014

PennyBlossom2311 said:

@ Cookie Pusher - My dad is a supervisor in the shop next to her FI's shop. He talked to the other supervisor that is over her FI. He said that the other supervisor had been complaining about him not coming in at a meeting and, from what I have gathered, that's when it all came out. Her FI's supervisor called him on not coming in. He said since it's been almost two weeks, he needed something more substantial than an "I don't feel well" He wanted a doctor's letter. My guess is his supervisor mentioned my dad.

Her wedding is back on and they are back together. She wants to have coffee with me and her FI....Nope, not happening.

Holy crap. Yeah definitely no.

CaliMel11 · March 2014

Another one to say, you did absolutely nothing wrong. He sounds like an addict/classic non responsibility taker.
Having coffee with both of them sounds like an absolute nightmare. It sounds like he is trying to control you through her, which is absolutely ridiculous.
I am glad you said you are not going. You are a good friend and a good person, but you can't really do anything for your friend. She's too invested in it, and she probably does know, on some level what is happening. But meeting up with the both of them sounds like a set up!

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

OH HELL NO! Cut those waste of oxygen masses off. Granted, having BTDT twice - I let my friend know that if she seriously left her ex, I would help her out and be friends again. Took a broken jaw and shoved through a glass door, but she got out and I helped her. We aren't best friends again, but I'm glad she got out because I'd rather have a friendly acquaintance than a grave site.

However, BSC sister gets nothing. Ever. No matter how much she apologizes and changes. That's a grain of sand I'm willing to die on. Tolerating your toddler being abused when you know damn well I'd have taken the baby from day one and that our parents were always waiting for you to come home is something I can never forgive.

But, your Dad isn't stupid. Similar case here, I just told my Dad "Sorry about the lack of work. Let me know if you need anything." He instantly knew that T was who claimed lack of work, and T had been fired about a month prior. Not slow at all. Well, H is all but a sister to me, so Dad promptly called her with what was what. Then we helped her move out of his apartment.

Then, one of the election workers under me reports every apparent sin I commit to my Dad. Weirdo.

PennyBlossom2311 · March 2014

Good morning ladies!

It's been an interesting night to say the least. Friend called and sent several texts. Her words were " I think we both overreacted. I would really like to sit down for coffee with you and my FI so we can talk things out. FI and I are fine and our wedding is back on, just so you know." (This is probably the 10th time he has called off the wedding.)

Nope nope nope nope...Luckily FI and I are going out of town for the weekend to check out the B&B for the wedding. Definitely looking forward to a weekend away with the hun, tasting cupcakes, and meeting with the caterer. Phone will be off. I need a few days away from the situation to decompress. Distance will be good right now. It's been a long year with all of this seemingly endless drama and I will be so glad when it is all over. No matter which way it goes. I do see her marrying him though. She's too wrapped up in "her day" and not the days/weeks/ years after. It's sad but there is nothing more to say or do other than pray it works out and prepare to be there when it doesn't.

@ hikebikebemerry - Your octopus made my morning!

kmmssg · March 2014

PennyBlossom2311 said:

Good morning ladies!

It's been an interesting night to say the least. Friend called and sent several texts. Her words were " I think we both overreacted. I would really like to sit down for coffee with you and my FI so we can talk things out. FI and I are fine and our wedding is back on, just so you know." (This is probably the 10th time he has called off the wedding.)

Nope nope nope nope...Luckily FI and I are going out of town for the weekend to check out the B&B for the wedding. Definitely looking forward to a weekend away with the hun, tasting cupcakes, and meeting with the caterer. Phone will be off. I need a few days away from the situation to decompress. Distance will be good right now. It's been a long year with all of this seemingly endless drama and I will be so glad when it is all over. No matter which way it goes. I do see her marrying him though. She's too wrapped up in "her day" and not the days/weeks/ years after. It's sad but there is nothing more to say or do other than pray it works out and prepare to be there when it doesn't.

@ hikebikebemerry - Your octopus made my morning!

A weekend at a B&B tasting CUPCAKES!!! OMG does it get any better. Cake is my passion and obsession I am so jealous but in a happy, nice sort of way. Enjoy!!

PennyBlossom2311 · March 2014

@ kmmssg - I LOVE cake too! Mini ones are even better. Means more to try! We have been tasked, by the families, to bring back all the flavors we try. I see boxes of cupcakes in our future that may or may not make it home to the families!

FiancB · March 2014

Oh my god. Why would you go ahead and marry someone that calls off the wedding all the time? That is so sad. Sounds like an any-groom-will-do kind of situation.

PennyBlossom2311 · March 2014

@ FiancB - I'm afraid that's what it all boils down to, IMHO.

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

Good for you for refusing to meet her FI! My guess is this is another attempt at him manipulating the situation. If he can sit down with you and just explain his side, surely you'll see that he's not at all in the wrong and you were too quick to judge. /sarcasm.

I would also bet, though, that if you DON'T meet with the two of them, he stop letting her see you. He'll tell her she shouldn't want to see anyone who doesn't love and support them both.

Meanwhile, enjoy the cakes!!

APDSS22 · March 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Good for you for refusing to meet her FI! My guess is this is another attempt at him manipulating the situation. If he can sit down with you and just explain his side, surely you'll see that he's not at all in the wrong and you were too quick to judge. /sarcasm. I would also bet, though, that if you DON'T meet with the two of them, he stop letting her see you. He'll tell her she shouldn't want to see anyone who doesn't love and support them both. Meanwhile, enjoy the cakes!!

This is where my mind goes. Anyone who stays with a man who lies to her and calls off the wedding repeatedly doesn't respect herself. I applaud you from removing yourself from this situation. Hope you enjoy all your cupcakes!

larrygaga · March 2014

I wouldn't have thought twice about not mentioning who it was to your dad. It's not like she implied she wanted that kept secret. Something else is going on that has nothing to do with you. Maybe they will cool off an apologize and explain themselves?

Vivandiere8 · March 2014

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. If your friends Fiancé had been telling the truth you asking your father out of concern would be a non issue. Yes, clearly something else is going on here. You don't break up with your fiancee because her friend accidentally snitched on you, especially when she isn't taking the friend's side.

SBmini · March 2014

It looks like your bridezilla friend just gave you the perfect way to peace out on her.

Well...I think the saga has Finally come to an ugly end

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