Thoughts on promise rings

beharrington · March 2014

monkeysip said:

I don't really judge them for highschoolers or couples going off to college... I mean, to each their own, whatever.

But I do judge them for older people. I was talking to this couple (probably in their 40s), and the woman said her ring was a "promise ring", and then her boyfriend walked up and said it was a "shut the hell up ring".

Ugh.

I was laughing so hard at this last night. One of my former roommates gave his girlfriend (now wife) a promise ring (we were in our late 20s) and I kept teasing him and asking what the heck it was for. He finally said that it was a "promise to be faithful" so I continued laughing at him.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

I don't get giving a promise ring as a "shut the hell up ring" because eventually the receiver of the ring will want to move forward with the whole marriage thing right? So I guess it is the "shut the hell up for at least a year" ring?

Maggie0829 · March 2014

And I don't get purity rings. Why do you need to wear a ring to show others that you are waiting until marriage to have sex?

Jells2dot0 · March 2014

Maggie0829 said:

I don't get giving a promise ring as a "shut the hell up ring" because eventually the receiver of the ring will want to move forward with the whole marriage thing right? So I guess it is the "shut the hell up for at least a year" ring?

LOL. That is EXACTLY what happened with my dad. He got his gf a "shut the hell up" ring (it's a 3 stone emerald cut diamond ring that, at my estimate, is about 3 carats in total). That lasted for a few years. Now she has what I'm guessing to be a 8-10 ct emerald cut eternity band. Pretty soon, her hands will be weighed down by so many rings that he'll either have to marry her or cut her loose.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

And I don't mean to sound rude or whatever, but I find that those who are easily swayed to "shut the hell up" by being given a large "promise" ring are in it more for the bling then an actual marriage. Because I know that I would not have been okay with just a promise ring from my H. I would have wanted to get married and if all he did was kept giving me larger and larger rings to keep me from pushing the subject I would have dumped his ass.

Why can't people just be honest about how they feel? If you don't want to get married then tell that person. Don't try to shut them up buy giving them a piece of jewelry every few years. And for those that receive those pieces of jewelry and are happy to keep quiet, then you must really not want to get married.

emmaaa · March 2014

My FI got me a promise ring for our one year anniversary. We were just out of high school and he gave it to me as a committment and promise that he would love me forever, and when the time is right, we would get married. We were young (18) and at a point in our lives that we could easily grow apart. He gave the ring to me to say that instead of growing apart we would grow up together.

With that being said, I hate when others call them "pre-engagement rings". I hate when they look like an engagement ring (mine was yellow gold with a green and smokey quartz stones). And it is silly when you are an adult and have to get one.

I don't feel stupid or silly over mine because we were kids and in no way ready to be engaged. Although we knew we waned to get married one day, we knew we were not ready to take that step. So that's why FI got it for me. I wore it on my left hand on my ring finger.

I guess to each their own but it worked for us and I am glad he had gotten it for me.

Couggal12 · March 2014

I think they're dumb and I totally side eye people who have them. For me I see it as a security blanket for women who want the reassurance that someday they will get engaged. I was with my FI for over 4 years before we got engaged and I would have laughed if he got me one before he proposed.

pinkshorts27 · March 2014

TwoDimes said:

blueeyes90 said:

I technically got one from my current FI, six years ago, in high school. It was just a pretty ring that had my birthstone, he bought it for our one year dating anniversary and didn't know what to call it. He just wanted to buy me jewelry and knew I already had a necklace I always wore (my grandma who had passed away left me a necklace). So he called it a promise ring because that is what the jewelry store called it. It wasn't really a promise of anything.

I think they are silly. My "friend" just got one (posted it on facebook) and it looks like an engagement ring. She is pregnant and got it from the baby-daddy, everyone started asking when the wedding was and I just felt so embarrassed for her (because of the comments). I saw it and thought "damn, we aren't in high school anymore"

To preface, this is not directed at you, @blueeyes90, just a statement in general.

I think the above bolded statement is one of my biggest issues with promise rings. If your SO wants to get you a ring as a gift, why do you have to "call it" anything? Why can't it just be a gift? I don't understand why the ring has to have a MEANING, beyond just being a ring.

To sum up my feelings, if anyone over the age of 16 told me they were wearing a "promise ring," I'd roll my eyes.

Not offended, totally understand and agree. I think he was easily swayed by the jewelry companies to call it that! When I showed other people, I would just say "look at the ring he got me". Other people insisted on calling it a promise ring, whatever it didn't have any effect on our relationship.

jessiray · April 2014

Honestly, I guess I might have had one in high school. My (now) ex-bf bought me a really pretty ring for my birthday, because he already bought me some other jewelry, and he knew I'd really like it. It was just a pretty ring that fit on my left-hand ring finger (my hands are actually pretty different in sizes--I think from playing an instrument), and because of my instrument, it was weird for me to wear jewelry on my right hand. We eventually told people it was a promise ring (with much eye-rolling on my part) because I got sick of people asking if it was a promise ring.

Thoughts on promise rings

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