May 2015 Weddings

Wedding Party!

Who has chosen their wedding party? If so, how many are you having on each side?
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Re: Wedding Party!

  • I did... We are having 6 BM and 6 GM. How many are you having?

     

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  • We are not sure yet. I am really struggling with this decision. Did you find it difficult to ask c
  • Let's try this again as only half of what I said posted! @Futuremrsds2015 that sounds like a good number! Did you find it difficult to make your decisions? Was it hard to ask certain friends and not others? Did you feel obligated to ask people to be in your wedding because you were in theirs? Sorry for all the questions, but this is actually the only part I am dreading!!!
  • edited April 2014
    @galzkicm I would say take your time with choosing your bridal party. For me it was fairly easy. My maid and matron of honor are my sisters and I have been friends with my bridesmaids for over 10+ years. I was in of one my bridesmaid's (she should really be a matron of honor but I only want my sisters to have that title) wedding but I didn't feel obligated to put her in my wedding. It wasn't hard for me to not ask certain friends because I feel like we aren't as close. One person told me her feelings are hurt that I didn't ask her. Truthfully I didn't ask her because we are not close and I know she have financial problems and I didn't want it to become my problem at the last minute. My FI also picked the groomsmen he is very good friends with and who he can depend on. He also had to turn someone down because of financial problems. Turning someone down for financial problems may sound bad but you have to think about if you want to pay for them (I know we can't afford it right now) or if you don't mind your numbers changing when it get closer to your wedding date. In the end I think you should pick who you can depend on, who will help make this easy on you and who will be happy to stand by you on your wedding day. (Sorry for the one paragraph. It always post like this when I am on my ipad)

     

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  • I originally wanted a smaller wedding party...but that proved to be impossible. We now have 17 total.

    Maid of Honor, Best Man, 5 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen, 1 junior bridesmaid, 1 junior groomsmen, two ring bearers and one flower girl.

    Kinda hard to make everyone happy. It's whatever...
  • Oh I forgot to the little ones..... 1 ring bearer (our son) 2 flower girls (my nieces)

     

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  • well, so far I have 1 RB (our son) 2 FW(our dauughters) and 1 JBM( my older daughter).  I'm having a hard time choosing my MOH and how many BM and GM to choose. I'm torn between my sister or my friend.  if I pick my friend my sister will be mad.  Can't please everyone. 
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    @galzkicm I would say take your time with choosing your bridal party. For me it was fairly easy. My maid and matron of honor are my sisters and I have been friends with my bridesmaids for over 10+ years. I was in of one my bridesmaid's (she should really be a matron of honor but I only want my sisters to have that title) wedding but I didn't feel obligated to put her in my wedding. It wasn't hard for me to not ask certain friends because I feel like we aren't as close. One person told me her feelings are hurt that I didn't ask her. Truthfully I didn't ask her because we are not close and I know she have financial problems and I didn't want it to become my problem at the last minute. My FI also picked the groomsmen he is very good friends with and who he can depend on. He also had to turn someone down because of financial problems. Turning someone down for financial problems may sound bad but you have to think about if you want to pay for them (I know we can't afford it right now) or if you don't mind your numbers changing when it get closer to your wedding date. In the end I think you should pick who you can depend on, who will help make this easy on you and who will be happy to stand by you on your wedding day. (Sorry for the one paragraph. It always post like this when I am on my ipad)
    We are mostly decided.  I'm up in the air about the last BM or two because Fi has a cousin he wants included as a BM (we are not close, but she's sweet) and I'm thinking of adding one other friend but just can't make the final call yet.

    @Futuremrsds2015 First bolded: Why would you turn someone down for financial problems?  Why is it costing people money to be in your WP?  All they have to do is get something to wear, and you should ask them their budget before choosing a dress/ suit anyway.  Assuming they can afford to be a guest, they can afford to be in the WP.

    Second bolded: What do you mean, help make this easy on you?  Members of WP do not have to help with anything except showing up.  If they offer great but you should not put that expectation on them.

    This is a big pet peeve of mine.  BMs are honored guests, not helpers or wedding planners.  My BMs are mostly long-distance, all of them are busy with their own lives, and I wouldn't dream of asking them for help.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    bakersckblabla89
  • We have...
    4 Bridesmaids (my two sisters and two friends I grew up with) 
    4 Groomsmen (his friends he has known forever) 
    1 JBM (10 years old) 
    1 JGM (9 years old)
    3 flower girls (two 6 year olds and one 7 year old)  The little ones are my nieces and nephew, I let them pick what role (if any) they wanted  
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  • @JCBride2014 1) if someone can't afford to pay their monthly bills I do not want them in my BP. We both know for a fact they no matter what the cost is for their clothes they won't be able to afford it and we are not paying for it. 2)Just because they are a guest doesn't mean they can afford to be in a WP. Being a guest doesn't cost a thing. We are not expecting any gifts. 3) your assuming that I mean help me out when I say make it easy on me. I don't need my WP to help me with anything. I hired a wedding planner for that. When I say make it easy I am referring to someone who won't cause problems. I heard too many stories where the bride or groom had problems with people they asked to be in their WP.

     

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  • @futuremresds2015 I understand that completely. My fiance was in his cousin's shotgun wedding last year and it was a complete disaster. I remember some of the groomsmen couldn't pay for their tuxes, and my fiance has been having the same problems of selecting groomsmen out of his cousins who are reliable enough and can financially stable. 

    @JCBride2014 Sometimes you have to invite family members that you know can't afford to even get you a gift to cover the cost of them being there. Sometimes people can't afford the bridesmaid dresses or the tuxes. It's sucky but it DOES happen. I saw it happen last year, but the bridal party and the bride and groom were only around 20 years old and younger, so I think that's why there were money issues.
    Futuremrsds2015
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I wasn't talking about gifts.  Of course there's no expectation of gifts, whether guest or WP.  I meant in general that if you really want someone to stand up with you, and they literally cannot even afford to buy a new dress in any budget, you make it work, maybe by letting them wear something they already own or saying "any short black dress."  Not saying you are expected to pay for 6 BM dresses of course.

    My general point was just that we shouldn't have big demands of our WP.  Glad to see you aren't asking them for anything extravagant.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Futuremrsds2015
  • @jcbride2014 I get that. Of course, I want to pick out something affordable for them to wear and I'm not asking anyone to get their hair and makeup done, etc.

    If it is someone REALLY important to you, you're right in that you should really try to make it work.

    In my fiance's case he really isn't close to his cousin, he more or less just feels obligated since he's family.
    Futuremrsds2015
  • cmarr684cmarr684 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    There's a site called Little Borrowed Dress where you can rent bridesmaid dresses very cheaply for around $50 a piece, if that helps anyone.
    MrsKatieBrown
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    RTR also has a lot of dresses that would work for BM dresses, starting at about $40 for simple dresses and going up from there.  I have used them before for formal events and always been happy with the dresses.  Renttherunway.com
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Futuremrsds2015
  • LOVE RTR! I always use them for weddings and trips to AC...I love that you always get a free second size!
    Futuremrsds2015
  • @jcbride2014 I'm looking at prices before I pick a dress. Having an affordable dress is so important to me. We thought about trying to make it work but because of the colors I have always wanted most likely it will not. If their situations change we will be happy to ask them to be part of our WP. Thanks to you and @cmarr684 I will look at the websites.

     

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  • Looking at 15 total in our wedding party

     

     

  • We're having 6bm and 6gm, 2 flower girls (Stepdaughter and Daughter) and 1 ring bearer (nephew)
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  • We have....
    8 Bridesmaids
    8 Groomsmen
    1 Flower girl
    1 Ring bearer

    I thought it was large at first, but now I can't my wedding without all them as part of the wedding party!
  • We have 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. I would have liked to have less initially, but I couldn't leave any of the people we picked out! :)

    We are not having children at our wedding, so won't have any flower girls/ring bearers. 
  • We'll have:
    1 Man of Honor
    1 Maid of Honor
    4 Bridesmaids

    2 Best Men
    4 Groomsmen

    We haven't asked them yet because we wanted to wait until one year before the wedding. 
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  • 6 on each side.... I couldn't pick a moh. I've known all my girls for over 20 years and love them all dearly...so they are my ladies...
  • 4 ea and a ring bearer/flower girl. Not sure if the flower girl I want will happen bc of family drama but once we make the official announcement, we'll see...
  • futuremrsm515futuremrsm515 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    6 BM, 6GM, 1FG & 1RB

    What I am struggling with is the Matron and Maid. They are all close to me so I am thinking of is just listing everyone as BM's.
  • @mizzleelee13 I was at first and I realized that the gal I chose is gonna be the one to make sure I don't try to be a wallflower (among other things) at my own wedding.
    futuremrsm515
  • We're having a bridesmaid (my sister) and a groomsman (his brother) and that's it.  I'd not have any at all but I need someone to hold my bouquet and the rings and stuff while we're doing the actual getting married part. 
  • We're probably having 2 on each side - my little sister and my best friend and 2 of his best friends. And I'm thinking about replacing BM bouquets with flower bracelets - it should look really cute on pictures.

  • We are having 6 on each side. The best man and groomsmen are my fiancés friends plus our 2 brothers. My MOH is my best friend and the bridesmaids are my cousins plus my future sister-in-law.
  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    We have 3 GMs and 3 BMs. I've asked my younger brother if he wants to stand up on my side (he isn't close with FI at all and I think he might prefer it this way) but he hasn't decided yet.
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