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Troubles over a bridal Shower

mgriffioenandlbrowermgriffioenandlbrower member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
Ok, I know this is going to be a little long and make me sound selfish, but so be it... 

I am getting married in about 4 1/2 months and no one has offered to host a shower for me. I know that showers are not required and they are a gift from the host so I have no right to demand one (and I would never do so). It is however getting very frustrating that all my wedding party (sisters and friends), family friends, and other family members keep asking ME when my showers will be and if they will be invited-Yet no one has taken the opportunity to ask if they can/offer to host one. I have been responding as kindly as possible, usually just saying that no shower is scheduled as of now. 
With a majority of my family living out of town I kind of assumed a shower would be unlikely and I wasn't upset about not having a shower until everyone started asking these questions in the last month or so. 
I spoke to my mother to ask if I should worry about it. She said that no one has mentioned a shower to her (and my family/friends are not the type to try to make it a surprise). Then she got me all worried because she went on a rant about how my fiance and I need the things on our registry, and we HAVE TO have a shower or we will go broke on buying everything we need for our home after the wedding. Unfortunately, she is kind of right--we are young and have almost zero things for a home. 

I  would NEVER ask someone to host a shower, but this whole things is getting very stressful and awkward for me.
Has anyone been in a similar spot? Am I just worrying for nothing? What is the proper way to respond to this situation? 
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Re: Troubles over a bridal Shower

  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I would just tell people that, as far as you know, there are no plans for a shower.  Tell them your family is out of town, and it is unlikely they will be able to throw you one. Then, your bridesmaids will either host a shower for you, or you won't have one, and you will know that you won't have one.  You can still register for items even without a shower.  If guests want to get you a physical gift for a wedding rather than cash, they will be able to get you what you need. The best part of a registry is that most registries don't close until a year after the wedding date.  This gives your family and friends plenty of holidays to complete your place settings or towels, if they so choose.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Your mother makes no sense. You don't have to have a shower for people to buy you things from your registry. They will buy those things for the wedding or they will give you cash. Registries are not just for showers. 

    When people ask about your shower, just keep repeating, "Nobody has told me they are planning a shower for me." It's possible someone will eventually offer to throw one and maybe everyone has just been assuming someone else was doing it. But if nobody steps up, then you don't get one. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'd tell people who ask about showers, "I don't know of any showers planned for me."

    As for your mother, she is wrong.  Showers have happened years before anyone created the first registry.  There is no requirement that if you have one, you can't have the other, or if you don't have one, you can't have the other.  The only rule is that you can't throw your own shower.
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  • mgriffioenandlbrowermgriffioenandlbrower member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thank you everyone! I guess it's just been frustrating (and a little insulting) that everyone seems to think I am in charge of making a shower happen and making sure they all get an invite. 

    I am going to try to put this aside, and if someone chooses to host one-great! and if not-too bad, we will still be married and people can bring gifts from the registry to the wedding if they want. 

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