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Engagement Party Question

pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
edited April 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I need your help ladies! I feel that this has been posted before, but I could not find the thread - sorry if this has already been addressed. I'm thinking that it is fine to send e-vites for an engagement party? It will be an informal event at a restaurant/lounge. Drinks, music/dancing, and food (buffet style), close family and friends. Also - I know it is rude to indicate "No Children" on wedding invitations, I am assuming this applies to E-party invites as well? The reason I ask this second question is because FMIL keeps insisting that we write "No Children" on the invitations. As a side note - whenever FI's cousin hosts parties she tends to write "Adults only" on the invitations. This past weekend she hosted a party at her home for her husband's birthday (fabulous party btw), and even though it was not a formal event, she mailed out invitations and at the bottom they said "Adults Only."  Since it was a party at their home,  I did not think anything of it, but it made me think of whether or not that was correct etiquette?

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Re: Engagement Party Question

  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Evites indicate a less-formal event, which seems fine for what you're hosting.

    'Adults only' or 'no children' is always rude. Don't tell people who isn't invited.

    Your party sounds fun!
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    My BMs just hosted a e-party for me and made it an e-vite . While they didn't post "Adults Only", they had it at a local restaurant in their "Beer Wall" room (guests can pour their own draft beers) with appetizers and then we all went out to Howl at the Moon (dueling piano bar). By wording the invite people understood it was an Adults only affair. 


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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Thanks @hisgirlfriday13! I had a feeling writing "Adults Only" or any kind of variation was rude even in a less formal context. That will be a fun one, because FMIL kept insisting on that on Sunday. Actually, she kept insisting on a lot of things (garter/bouquet toss at the wedding, line dances), but that's another story!

    And I am really excited about the party! It will be in our old neighborhood (back when FI and I had our own apartments in the same neighborhood), and we really love going back there. The venue threw in a DJ for free which is awesome! I think it will definitely be a lot of fun :) 
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes, definitely do not put "adults only" anywhere on an invitation. Also, you should not be hosting your own engagement party, so the invites shouldn't be sent by you (or from your email address).
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    shannonmaya said:
    My BMs just hosted a e-party for me and made it an e-vite . While they didn't post "Adults Only", they had it at a local restaurant in their "Beer Wall" room (guests can pour their own draft beers) with appetizers and then we all went out to Howl at the Moon (dueling piano bar). By wording the invite people understood it was an Adults only affair. 
    Your party sounds like a blast!!! Now THAT's my kinda party! I'm also thinking that people will know by the kind of event that it is an adults only event. It will be in the evening at a restaurant/lounge. Plus, I can count on word of mouth with FI's family.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah I know FMIL is hosting this party, not you, but def don't send the e-vites from your own email.  Which is annoying of course, because then you're handing over control to FMIL and she might slip in "Adults Only" anyway.  If she does that, I guess you just have to accept she's the one who looks rude, not you.

    Your party sounds super fun!  A bar/lounge in the evening definitely implies adults only, anyway.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    JCBride2014LondonLisa- That's the other thing. I was talking to FI afterwards because FMIL kept telling US how to word the invites. So he said she would not want to send out the invitations, to which I said well WE can't send them, we're not hosting. Plus, we should not even be throwing ourselves the party (which we're not), and us sending the invitations implies that. The other day I found an evite site in which I can set it up so that it all goes from her name, and her email address, so I was thinking maybe I can do all the work and have her send them? If she sends them on her own without any input from us, she will most definitely tack "Adults Only" on there. And yes, then that will reflect on her, so I should not even stress it actually....

    I was also thinking that a lounge implies adult only. Which I said, but FMIL continued to insist on the Adult Only thing. She is so hung up on that!
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  • ShadeofGreen816ShadeofGreen816 member
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    Correct me if I'm wrong, all (as if I should have to ask...), but if the venue is 21-and-over only, that information probably should be included on the invite, in the case that people are unfamiliar with the venue. Maybe I'm inferring that and it's not true...
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    That is actually an excellent point. I'm actually not sure if it's 21 and over since it is a restaurant also, but after a certain time it turns into more of a lounge. I'm going to ask to confirm.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    "Adults only" and "no one under 21" is rude on any invitation.  If your venue has a 21-and-older-only policy, it is okay to share this with anyone who has RSVPd for someone under 21, but you cannot politely announce this in advance or on invitations.
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