Am I Being Overly Sensitive about Facebook and His Ex?

Re: Am I Being Overly Sensitive about Facebook and His Ex?

• RebeccaB88 member

  

  April 2014

  I say definitely NOT oversensitive. There's a precedent here - she's gone beyond disrespecting your relationship in the past, to the point of trying to break you up. In my book, that would be crossing obliterating a line.
  
  Ex and I had a couple or three exes on each of our friends lists. None recent but for one of mine, and then he wasn't a serious one. No problems because everyone respected our relationship.  Eventually an old but not too old ex showed up on his page. He played the game well as to 'but I'm with you, I don't want anyone else' but also got more and more defensive about their friendship and why I was making a much bigger deal about it than it was. And communicated with her more by email...until I get a notification on my FB that 'someone you might know' had the same name as him.
  
  Yeah, guess which past ex he cheated with and broke up our relationship with? 
  
  Not the one from high school, who, coincidentally, I inherited in the breakup. She thought he was being a jackass. (She was right.)  And not the one from college, whom I also knew in college (same school). Nope. It was the one who disrespected our relationship and who he got defensive over.
  
  Not saying this happened to you, but...there's precedent for her actions. You have a good reason not to trust her. And if you and he had an agreement, based on said past disrespect for your relationship, and he's either never followed through (which is lying to you about it) or went back on his word (lie of omission), then you absolutely DO have a FI problem. It's just up to you what you do about it.
  

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• fallingtogether1017 member

  

  April 2014

  Thanks, ladies.  I appreciate everyone's input!
  
  FI and I did have a talk about it the next day.  Thinking about it now, I think it is just "unnecessary" for them to be friends on Facebook, and that's what bothered me so much about it.  I kept coming back to the same question, "Why?"  There's just not a reason for it.
  
  He unfriended her (without me asking), said he understood where I was coming from and I apologized for overreacting/overthinking it.  It definitely was an insecurity of mine and having a trust issues with her as relentless woman (in my opinion).  I completely trust HIM, it's just HER that I did not trust.  But - I think most of you are right, if I trust him, that's enough.  And it is, however I am glad that we both could come to a mutual understanding about it.
  
  All is well now!
  

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