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Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

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Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

  • edited April 2014
    i LOVE this idea!! In addition, my photographers (and many photographer friends) have warned me about "amateur photogs" ruining shots that you simply can't get back. A friend (professional photog) was setting up a beautiful shot of a bride looking at her Dad while a toast was being given and some guest happen to place their iPhone right in the middle of his shot - ruining the professional picture and the moment was gone. Now, he never told the bride this happened, so she doesn't even know what was missed - I would get the opinion of your photographer and videographer. They are the professionals and have probably dealt with these issues before. 

    Bottom line: It's YOUR wedding. If its small and intimate you may not need to tell your guests anything or have your officiant make a small announcement. You can read your guests. I think each bride should make the decision on her own based on size of the wedding and guests attending. 

    I will be putting something similar in my program because while most people are respectful, and have common sense, some don't.  And if, there is a guest who is offended by any wording in my program, invite, menu, signs, etc. I hope they stay home. 

    Very cute wording by the way, it would not offend me at all. 


  • You might as well just have everyone check their phones at the door.  Like a coat check.

    Yeah do that.  And see how that goes over.

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  • Hello! My fiancé and I actually discussed this yesterday. For the ceremony, we are planning on having a note for our guests that no electronic devices are welcome. My fiancé's you get brother (age 9) constantly plays games and his mother lets him. Dinner, movies, my fiancé's concerts, everywhere. I realize that people can see you asking them to unplug for you as rude, but it is their job as your guest to be respectful, and frankly, not everyone knows how to be respectful these days anymore. So, yes, be a bit of a bridezilla for this. At the reception, they could have their phones and cameras out, but the ceremony is a definite unplugged area. Here's an idea if your location and theme work for it: have a basket with a sign saying something cute like: "let the electronics hang out together!" As guests walk through the doors to your wedding location. I hope this helps you, and it is ultimately your and your fiancé's choice.
    I would never drop my phone in a random basket and hope to get it back.  And what are you going to do for guests who are required to have their phones on them (for work, in case of sick relatives, babysitter access, etc)?
    Anniversary
    wrigleyvilleKeptInStitchesluckysnorkelchibiyui
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
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    Hello! My fiancé and I actually discussed this yesterday. For the ceremony, we are planning on having a note for our guests that no electronic devices are welcome. My fiancé's you get brother (age 9) constantly plays games and his mother lets him. Dinner, movies, my fiancé's concerts, everywhere. I realize that people can see you asking them to unplug for you as rude, but it is their job as your guest to be respectful, and frankly, not everyone knows how to be respectful these days anymore. So, yes, be a bit of a bridezilla for this. At the reception, they could have their phones and cameras out, but the ceremony is a definite unplugged area. Here's an idea if your location and theme work for it: have a basket with a sign saying something cute like: "let the electronics hang out together!" As guests walk through the doors to your wedding location. I hope this helps you, and it is ultimately your and your fiancé's choice.
    Yup, including all of the brides who are trying to control their guests.

    sarawifenowchibiyuibethsmiles
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
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    Hello! My fiancé and I actually discussed this yesterday. For the ceremony, we are planning on having a note for our guests that no electronic devices are welcome. My fiancé's you get brother (age 9) constantly plays games and his mother lets him. Dinner, movies, my fiancé's concerts, everywhere. I realize that people can see you asking them to unplug for you as rude, but it is their job as your guest to be respectful, and frankly, not everyone knows how to be respectful these days anymore. So, yes, be a bit of a bridezilla for this. At the reception, they could have their phones and cameras out, but the ceremony is a definite unplugged area. Here's an idea if your location and theme work for it: have a basket with a sign saying something cute like: "let the electronics hang out together!" As guests walk through the doors to your wedding location. I hope this helps you, and it is ultimately your and your fiancé's choice.


    1st bolded-what are you going to do if someone takes a picture during the ceremony? Stop everything and kick them out?

    2nd bolded-Gag! No.

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    chibiyui
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Hello! My fiancé and I actually discussed this yesterday. For the ceremony, we are planning on having a note for our guests that no electronic devices are welcome. My fiancé's you get brother (age 9) constantly plays games and his mother lets him. Dinner, movies, my fiancé's concerts, everywhere. I realize that people can see you asking them to unplug for you as rude, but it is their job as your guest to be respectful, and frankly, not everyone knows how to be respectful these days anymore. So, yes, be a bit of a bridezilla for this. At the reception, they could have their phones and cameras out, but the ceremony is a definite unplugged area. Here's an idea if your location and theme work for it: have a basket with a sign saying something cute like: "let the electronics hang out together!" As guests walk through the doors to your wedding location. I hope this helps you, and it is ultimately your and your fiancé's choice.

    First bolded: That wording is terrible.

    Second bolded: Obviously you are one of those who don't understand respect anymore considering you don't see how rude and disrespectful it is to treat your guests like idiots.

    I will say this again: Telling people to not use their cell phones reminds me of high school and not being allowed to have your phone out in class and getting in trouble for it when you did. This kind of action will result in the same reaction high schoolers exhibit: they will do it anyways regardless of your ridiculous rules.


    chibiyui
  • @maggie0829 I meant that it's a common request that no photography is taken during a religious ceremony. If stripping during the ceremony is what you use as a barometer for what isn't acceptable behavior, no wonder you think she's being a control freak. And it is a special day. So please do.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
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    @maggie0829 I meant that it's a common request that no photography is taken during a religious ceremony. If stripping during the ceremony is what you use as a barometer for what isn't acceptable behavior, no wonder you think she's being a control freak. And it is a special day. So please do.
    Oh for fucks sake, can't you take a joke and see that I was being a bit extreme in my example. And yes, I am fine with asking for no photography during the ceremony if that is a venue stipulation. But I do not like it when brides think that they are so fucking special that they can make up rules and control their guests.  You are not that important.

    PrettyGirlLostRebl90
  • Hello! My fiancé and I actually discussed this yesterday. For the ceremony, we are planning on having a note for our guests that no electronic devices are welcome. My fiancé's you get brother (age 9) constantly plays games and his mother lets him. Dinner, movies, my fiancé's concerts, everywhere. I realize that people can see you asking them to unplug for you as rude, but it is their job as your guest to be respectful, and frankly, not everyone knows how to be respectful these days anymore. So, yes, be a bit of a bridezilla for this. At the reception, they could have their phones and cameras out, but the ceremony is a definite unplugged area. Here's an idea if your location and theme work for it: have a basket with a sign saying something cute like: "let the electronics hang out together!" As guests walk through the doors to your wedding location. I hope this helps you, and it is ultimately your and your fiancé's choice.
    SIB - To the first bold: I'm pretty sure it's never ok to be a bridezilla..
    Second bold: No, that is not cute. That does not make it any less rude. Get off pinterest already.
    I'm in the art field, so I know a TON of photographers. NONE of them think an unplugged ceremony is necessary. They all know how to do their jobs and avoid these situations.
    PrettyGirlLostluckysnorkelchibiyui
  • @maggie0829 you read my mind I was just going to say the same thing.

    This "it's MY day" attitude is pretty gross. Seriously, if you want such specific things (no pictures, no moving, certain clothes, b lists, etc etc etc etc) why are you even inviting people? Sounds like they'll just get in the way of your precious day so why bother? Just because something is trendy or your photographer can't do his job doesn't make it ok.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    Maggie0829PrettyGirlLost
  • Most of the time that I've witnessed guests get in the way of photos it was people that would have been mortified had they known. These people didn't set out to be rude, and are the sort that if asked not to have their cameras or phones out would respect that. No, you can't control every jerk that attends a wedding, but that isn't the goal. 

    And for a photographer's point of view: This is a great Huffpo article on the topic.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
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    Most of the time that I've witnessed guests get in the way of photos it was people that would have been mortified had they known. These people didn't set out to be rude, and are the sort that if asked not to have their cameras or phones out would respect that. No, you can't control every jerk that attends a wedding, but that isn't the goal. 

    And for a photographer's point of view: This is a great Huffpo article on the topic.
    Probably the same one that has been linked to several times but yet does not provide any facts about how many fabulous photos those brides got in comparison to the number of "ruined" shots. I am sure my photographer got some crappy shots. They are bound to when they take well over 1000 photos during your event. So unless there is a bride out there that can show me that every single one of her ceremony photos was ruined due to someone photo bombing it, then I really don't believe the hype.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • PDXbunny said:
    Most of the time that I've witnessed guests get in the way of photos it was people that would have been mortified had they known. These people didn't set out to be rude, and are the sort that if asked not to have their cameras or phones out would respect that. No, you can't control every jerk that attends a wedding, but that isn't the goal. 

    And for a photographer's point of view: This is a great Huffpo article on the topic.
    Corey Ann (the photog that wrote that article) did my brother's wedding. She is so lovely and a very gifted artist! 
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Most of the time that I've witnessed guests get in the way of photos it was people that would have been mortified had they known. These people didn't set out to be rude, and are the sort that if asked not to have their cameras or phones out would respect that. No, you can't control every jerk that attends a wedding, but that isn't the goal. 

    And for a photographer's point of view: This is a great Huffpo article on the topic.
    Probably the same one that has been linked to several times but yet does not provide any facts about how many fabulous photos those brides got in comparison to the number of "ruined" shots. I am sure my photographer got some crappy shots. They are bound to when they take well over 1000 photos during your event. So unless there is a bride out there that can show me that every single one of her ceremony photos was ruined due to someone photo bombing it, then I really don't believe the hype.
    That in addition to the fact that some of the lights are so bright that they could not have been generated by the flash on a phone or digital camera.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    PDXbunny said:
    Most of the time that I've witnessed guests get in the way of photos it was people that would have been mortified had they known. These people didn't set out to be rude, and are the sort that if asked not to have their cameras or phones out would respect that. No, you can't control every jerk that attends a wedding, but that isn't the goal. 

    And for a photographer's point of view: This is a great Huffpo article on the topic.
    JFC not that article, yet a freaking gain!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    PDXbunny said:
    Most of the time that I've witnessed guests get in the way of photos it was people that would have been mortified had they known. These people didn't set out to be rude, and are the sort that if asked not to have their cameras or phones out would respect that. No, you can't control every jerk that attends a wedding, but that isn't the goal. 

    And for a photographer's point of view: This is a great Huffpo article on the topic.
    JFC not that article, yet a freaking gain!
    Probably because it is the only article available.  Which leads me to think that this whole "unplugged weddings" being a thing is a bunch of horse poo.

    PrettyGirlLostRebl90loro929
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    PDXbunny said:
    Most of the time that I've witnessed guests get in the way of photos it was people that would have been mortified had they known. These people didn't set out to be rude, and are the sort that if asked not to have their cameras or phones out would respect that. No, you can't control every jerk that attends a wedding, but that isn't the goal. 

    And for a photographer's point of view: This is a great Huffpo article on the topic.
    JFC not that article, yet a freaking gain!
    Probably because it is the only article available.  Which leads me to think that this whole "unplugged weddings" being a thing is a bunch of horse poo.
    When something starts as a Pinterest fad. . . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
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    This whole thread makes me wonder why on earth you would want guests at your wedding in the first place! I mean, what if somebody sneezes during the ceremony or has to use the restroom during the spotlight dances. This just won't do!
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    PrettyGirlLostwrigleyvilleRebl90crunchymamaof2
  • OK, so some of you don't understand why some couples would prefer an unplugged wedding. But do you really need to? How can you possibly be so horribly offended by a request to not use electronics for a small fraction of a single day by someone whom you presumably care about? If you think it's obvious that it's bad manners to take photos during a ceremony and would never dream of doing so - then the sign is obviously not directed at you. 

    Not everyone who asks you to respect their wishes is trying to control you. 
    meghanmarie79ktjanesmom
  • I completely understand where you are coming from. I have been strongly considering this myself.I recently attended a wedding for a family member and was disturbed by this one individual who managed to maneuver herself in and out of the aisle way and pews to take a picture of everything with her tablet! Personally this bothered me, because I would be highly upset if this happened at my wedding and people bodies and limbs were obstructing the view of my professional photographer. I do not see anything wrong with the request personally. It does not necessarily have to be place on the invitation, but possibly an announcement made shortly before the ceremony is to begin. I see no problem with asking this of your guest for the actual wedding ceremony and during the reception they can feel free to resume use of their devices and just keep them hidden and on silent for your ceremony.
  • I think having your officiant may be the best way to approach this. I am getting married in September and we have been struggling with this as well. Basically--I hate social media at weddings. I see on Facebook/Instagram all the time guests posting pictures of weddings, literally as the ceremony is occurring. Then other guests like and comment in real time. I want my guests to engage with each other, not with their phones! I also don't want friends/family/coworkers who are Facebook friends but didn't get the invite seeing the pictures and feeling offended or left out. However. I understand this could come off as condescending. I think the best approach is to have the officiant make a statement. Still trying to decide on appropriate wording however.
  • PDXbunny said:
    OK, so some of you don't understand why some couples would prefer an unplugged wedding. But do you really need to? How can you possibly be so horribly offended by a request to not use electronics for a small fraction of a single day by someone whom you presumably care about? If you think it's obvious that it's bad manners to take photos during a ceremony and would never dream of doing so - then the sign is obviously not directed at you. 

    Not everyone who asks you to respect their wishes is trying to control you. 
    Ok, so you "presumably care about your guests." Great!
    So why would you assume that they are so rude and ignorant that they would ruin your professional photos?
    Doesn't seem like a whole lot of care to me.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think having your officiant may be the best way to approach this. I am getting married in September and we have been struggling with this as well. Basically--I hate social media at weddings. I see on Facebook/Instagram all the time guests posting pictures of weddings, literally as the ceremony is occurring. Then other guests like and comment in real time. I want my guests to engage with each other, not with their phones! I also don't want friends/family/coworkers who are Facebook friends but didn't get the invite seeing the pictures and feeling offended or left out. However. I understand this could come off as condescending. I think the best approach is to have the officiant make a statement. Still trying to decide on appropriate wording however.
    Again, you cannot control people.  If people are going to post pictures on FB during your ceremony they will do so whether or not your officiant asks them not to.

    And seriously, again, you are not that special that people will be offended or upset that they didn't get invited to your wedding because they see a picture of it on FB.  Amazingly people, who aren't that close to you, really don't care that much.

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    PDXbunny said:
    OK, so some of you don't understand why some couples would prefer an unplugged wedding. But do you really need to? How can you possibly be so horribly offended by a request to not use electronics for a small fraction of a single day by someone whom you presumably care about? If you think it's obvious that it's bad manners to take photos during a ceremony and would never dream of doing so - then the sign is obviously not directed at you. 

    Not everyone who asks you to respect their wishes is trying to control you. 
    Because if I care about you, then I might want to have some photos of my own to commemmorate this special occasion, and as an adult with a fucking brain I know how to take said photo's without getting in the way of your photographer, using the flash, etc.

    I don't think it is bad manners at all to take photo's discreetly during a wedding ceremony.

    Asking guests not to take photos is the definition of trying to control you.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829KeptInStitcheswrigleyvillechibiyui
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
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    Some of my favorite pics at our wedding were taken by my SIL.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    wrigleyvillePrettyGirlLostSmileDamnit
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