Potluck Bridal shower?

trulymarvelous · April 2014

I just read this "cute" bridal shower idea that involves asking the guests to make their favorite dish and then bring it to the shower with the recipe to give to the bride-to-be to "help build the newly weds recipe book."

Soooo... Ask your guests to make food to bring to a bridal shower so the guest feeds the other guests AND themselves? And bring a how to guide? AND bring a registry gift?

Am I the only one who thinks this is totally tacky?

Edited to add line breaks.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

I'm not sure what to think.

My impression is that yes, it's tacky. And I would not cook something because I'm a terrible cook, but I would bring the recipe.

Idk.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

I think it is rude for the bride to ask to people to make things but most of the showers I've been to (I'll only go to showers for relatives) have been impromptu potluck. All my relatives always insist on bringing something so that one person doesn't have to do all the work.

doeydo · April 2014

Yup, I think it is tacky and rude.

AddieCake · April 2014

Recipe showers are ok by me, but not when they involve guests bringing a dish.

beharrington · April 2014

At my shower, the hosts sent a recipe card with the invites and then they gave me the book to put the cards in. If a guest wanted to bring a recipe, great. If they didn't, no one even really noticed. So, I agree with Addie that recipes are okay but not if the guests are asked to bring the actual dish as well.

trulymarvelous · April 2014

I totally agree bringing a recipe card is super cute, and a great idea. It's the bring a dish to feed us/yourself that's a bit much.

climbingsingle · April 2014

Tacky and rude! I was invited to something like this - bring a gift, bring a dish and bring a drink. Uh, no thanks.

KatWAG · April 2014

I love the idea of recipe cards but not the potluck aspect. Bringing a gift should be enough.

Couggal12 · April 2014

Yeah, definitely not digging the bring a dish idea. Potlucks really gross me out to begin with though even if it's a more intimate setting like a shower. I just think if you are hosting something for someone you take on the responsibility of feeding and providing drinks for the guests...I would be fine with cupcakes/cake, and some kind of refreshment. It doesn't have to be something big as long as it's not around a meal time or I have to pay for it.

hyechica81 · April 2014

I hate potlucks they are nasty. I have no clue who cooked what? how long it was sitting out for,? how fresh was the eggs for the egg salad? was the milk in the pudding good milk or did it go sour? if i dont know who cooked it or what there food storing habbits are i wont even touch the food

grumbledore · April 2014

I've only been to one shower that wasn't some variation of a potluck, but usually the hosts divvied up the dishes. So, if in fact one is squicked out by potlucks, keep that in mind. Just because you and the other guests didn't have to make the food, doesn't mean it wasn't made some someone who isn't a pro.

Frankly I find potluck fear to be semi-ridiculous. I attend potluck parties with people I know all the time and I'm not worried I'm going to die from their cooking.

I would be more nervous with a lot of strangers and I don't like outdoor potlucks, but I think the general fear/hate is silly.

That said, it shouldn't be on shower guests to provide the food, they are already buying gifts. A shower is really easy to have during a non-mealtime to keep costs down.

larrygaga · April 2014

I think the recipe idea is cute, but not the potluck.

climbingsingle · April 2014

Regarding potluck fear - I once ate a dish prepared by a co-worker. About half way through, I found a clump a dog hair. Yes, dog hair will not kill you. But who wants to eat it? Not me.

I also did get food poisoning from someone else's cooking. Yes, I did not die. But hours of vomiting wasn't fun.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

@grumbledore I don't understand potluck fear either. I actually prefer having food prepared by people I know than by professionals. I know I'm in the minority but the I see it I would rather have food prepared by someone I know than someone I don't, no matter how trained they are. Besides, I have never had anything prepared by a caterer or bought from a store that tasted better than what the food my family makes.

afox007 · April 2014

Aside from it being tacky I think the bride would put together a better cookbook if she just asked for recipes, not the finished dish too. If I only had to bring a recipe I would give her something awesome like stuffed chicken marsala, but there is no way I would make that to bring to the shower. So she would end up with a recipe for spinach artichoke dip.

insertusernamehere · April 2014

I agree, the recipe book idea is absolutely adorable.

I think forcing everyone to bring a dish is tacky, but I really don't understand why you all are so afraid of potlucks. Does your aunt's cooking become poisonous during a shower? Maybe my family is weird, but we always bring food to events and I've never been afraid to eat it!

I wouldn't make the general guests bring the dish, no. Recipe book YES YES YES. That's one of the nicest gifts I'd want to get.

If your mom/sister/cousin/bridesmaids are planning the shower with your family, your family could make some of the bride's favorite family dishes for the shower to cut down on catering costs, but don't make it an entrance fee.

Personally, my Grandmama would LOVE to make a platter of cookies for anyone's shindig, and that's a cookie platter we don't need to buy from the store, you know?

Simply Fated · April 2014

afox007 said:
Aside from it being tacky I think the bride would put together a better cookbook if she just asked for recipes, not the finished dish too. If I only had to bring a recipe I would give her something awesome like stuffed chicken marsala, but there is no way I would make that to bring to the shower. So she would end up with a recipe for spinach artichoke dip.

This was my thought, too. I'm a terrible cook, so I'd probably just make some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or a fruit salad.
But ask for just the recipe, no dish needed? I'd provide a recipe from my mom's amazing collection.

I guess I could make some sandwiches and still provide a recipe from my mom, but I don't like breaking rules lol.

MuppetOverlord · April 2014

Confession: The shower my mom threw for me for my first wedding was pot luck.

My mother hosted most of the food, and most people offered to bring something without her asking, but my mother was really bent out of shape that my ex-MIL refused to RSVP or bring anything to contribute. I think she still thinks about it.

Most of my friends and family think it's pretty standard to offer to bring something to an event. I always offer. However. *I* think it's extraordinarily rude to ask me to bring something

lyndausvi · April 2014

I don't completely understand the potluck fear either. I've gotten sick at a restaurant before, but I don't swear off ALL restaurants as a result. I would just stay away from that person's food. But I don't get my DHs fear of cotton either, so there's that.

Weddings and showers are hosted events to me and as such you NEVER ask someone to bring anything to a hosted event. Even formally dinner parties should be potluck free.

Backyard BBQ with the neighbors, family 4th of July parties, holidays with family and friends? Sure potluck away.

MuppetOverlord · April 2014

hyechica81 said:

I hate potlucks they are nasty. I have no clue who cooked what? how long it was sitting out for,? how fresh was the eggs for the egg salad? was the milk in the pudding good milk or did it go sour? if i dont know who cooked it or what there food storing habbits are i wont even touch the food

I have this problem too and have since I've seen someone lick a spoon while she was making a dish and then promptly stuck it back in to keep mixing. I've seen someone lick a spatula after serving themselves some quiche too. I also have seen how nasty some people's kitchens are. If I don't have an idea on the cleanliness of someone's kitchen and hygiene habits I mostly avoid the food. I had a friend who was just disgusting about these things and I would only eat what I brought to her party or things that I took out of a package (from the store) myself. She would do stuff like take dirty things out of her stinky dishwasher and use them without even a rinse.

kitty8403 · April 2014

Honestly, the only thing I find especially distasteful here is the idea of bringing a regular gift. I have zero problem with the idea of a potluck party/recipe shower, assuming it's just a small get-together among close friends/family and not a real party. The inclusion of shower gifts changes the occasion from an informal gathering to chill and share recipes to a gift-giving event, which I feel should be hosted.

As far as potluck food goes, it's not that hard and there's no reason to get melodramatic about it. I just eat in advance, eat some what I brought or saw come from a sealed package, or eat foods from home cooks I already know.

KittyKaty20 · April 2014

1. Potluck showers are rude/tacky.

2. My BM asked my guests to bring a favorite recipe to share with the Bride & Groom...nearly everyone brought a recipe, except for our mothers. Which really upset my FI, because he has been dying to get his hands on my dad's chili recipe, and his mother's rum cake recipe.

3. I do not understand the potluck fear. However, I'm a pretty picky eater, so I always bring something I know I'll eat. I'm more worried that I won't get my serving pieces back...

Simply Fated · April 2014

The only Potluck Fear I have is sometimes people aren't able to keep the food at temperatures it needs to be at. You, know, they might not be aware of the number of chafing dishes needed or refrigerator space needed. That sort of thing.
Also, I don't have food allergies, but I know people who do. Some people who prepare the food aren't even aware that their ingredients may contain, like, tree nuts or something. So when a guest asks, "does this have tree nuts in it" and the person who prepare it says, "No, of course not!" they might actually be wrong and putting the guest in danger.

Other than that, potlucks are my favorite things in the world. Not for showers, though. The cost of catering shouldn't be put onto the guests.

Bubblegum5586 · April 2014

I was invited to a wedding shower where we were asked to bring our favorite recipe and then the shower itself was at some sort of kitchen were we learn to cook a dish too... I think.. I don't quite remember as the wedding was called of and so then there was no shower, but I remember thinking it sounded fun...

And one of my biggest pet peaves in life is pot lucks at gift giving events (totally fine with cookouts and general parties being asked to bring a dish).

[Deleted User] · April 2014

Meh, if it's a small, intimate shower, I wouldn't mind. If I did mind, I wouldn't go.

kmmssg · April 2014

I don't agree with guests being told to bring food to a potluck shower at all. Recipes? Heck yeah.

Potluck fear? I think I just have potluck good judgement. The department where I work has legendary potlucks. It is amazing how many visitors we get from other departments when word gets out that "we are at it again." 90% of the food is amazing.

I have never gotten sick from a potluck but if I arrive late and bowls that should feel cold don't, or things that should be hot aren't, I pretty much skip those.

Jen4948 · April 2014

No problems with the recipes, but hosted events should never be done as potlucks.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

I asked guests to bring a recipe to my sister's bridal shower and compiled them into a book for her which she loved but I would never ask the guests to bring food. I was the hostess, it was my responsibility. When my best friend got married I did ask her MOH if she'd like me to bring a dish to help but that's different, I offered and brought a salad.

SP29 · April 2014

Generally I quite enjoy potlucks! I know some people who are awesome cooks! But I agree that at a more formal or gift giving event, they should be hosted.

@MuppetOverlord I think there is a difference between requesting guests to bring food in order to feed themselves and everyone else, and a guest offering to bring a dish.

In my group of friends, whenever we have gatherings, they are generally quite fully hosted (even an informal gathering). The "guests" still bring stuff- whether that be food or drink. DH and I have hosted a couple get together dinners and we still had friends bring something even when we told them they didn't need to.

miscom06 · April 2014

I hope I don't get shot for this, but my matron of honor actually threw me one of these showers. However, the whole point was that people brought a prepared dish instead of a gift (I live far away from my hometown where the shower/wedding is going to be, so it wasn't practical for us to get physical gifts). Guests were asked to bring the recipe for three of their favorite, go-to recipes and make one of them to share. Everyone seemed to have a good time, so hopefully that was the case and they weren't just acting.

Potluck Bridal shower?

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