What say you?

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

TexasBride2014 said:

Maggie0829 said:

If you invite people to your wedding that speak different languages I believe that the invitation should be in the language that the receiver speaks. I also think that when you have people who speak different languages come to your wedding then you should at least have a translator or a program that states what is going on and what is being said.

But like PP said I wouldn't be going to a Thursday afternoon wedding with a 2.5 hour gap anyways so all of this would be moot.

So this brings up a really great point now that I think about it- FI is Italian and while most of his family won't be able to make it, we will still send them invitations of course. So then, should we order say, 10-15 of our invitations in Italian? Most of them don't speak English because they live in rural parts of Italy where English is not very commonly spoken but there are a few English speakers that can translate...

I would. I think it would be a nice gesture and a show of respect for you to do it. They wouldn't even have to necessarily match your other invites -- you could order simpler ones from Vistaprint or somewhere.

Or you could send them your English invites and then send the insert in Italian. I got a kick out of seeing my friend's invite in German and English (she married a German man)

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

lvgirl1000 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

If the couple is Catholic, it would HAVE to be in a Roman Catholic Church -- Catholic Masses can't be held outside of physical Catholic church buildings.

The ceremony will be a fairly standard Roman Catholic Mass -- the Church doesn't allow for a lot of wiggle-room or personalisation in the ceremony.

K, going waaay off topic here. I mentioned Roman, as opposed to other(?) Catholic churches (Eastern Orthodox, etc.) that I am aware of. Is it safe to assume that American Catholics are Roman Catholic?

No. There are many Americans who are Eastern Orthodox, Greek Orthodox, etc.

Usually when people refer to themselves as Catholic they mean Roman Catholic. Typically the Orthodox Catholics refer to themselves as X Orthodox.

Generally, Roman Catholics will call themselves just 'Catholic.' Typically, American Catholics are Roman Catholics, but not always.

People who aren't Roman Catholic will identify as Orthodox Catholic or Eastern Catholic or Byzantine Catholic or whatever.

If you give us the name of the church where the wedding is being held, I can tell you what the branch of Catholicism is.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

People who aren't Roman Catholic will identify as Orthodox Catholic or Eastern Catholic or Byzantine Catholic or whatever.

If you give us the name of the church where the wedding is being held, I can tell you what the branch of Catholicism is.

No worries there. The church website identifies it as Our Lady of Las Vegas Roman Catholic Church.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

lvgirl1000 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

People who aren't Roman Catholic will identify as Orthodox Catholic or Eastern Catholic or Byzantine Catholic or whatever.

If you give us the name of the church where the wedding is being held, I can tell you what the branch of Catholicism is.

No worries there. The church website identifies it as Our Lady of Las Vegas Roman Catholic Church.

That just sounds funny!

I'm picturing Madonna in sequence, lol.

ashleyep · April 2014

I went to a wedding that was 95% Russion. I still got an invite in English. It's not that difficult to order a small set for your non-Spanish speaking guests. The ceremony alternated between English and Russion, and the program had translations in both languages, but at the reception the MC didn't speak much English all night. Fortunately, a friend of the groom offered to translate for us. I would have been okay if he hadn't, but I would have been annoyed if I got an invitation only in Russian.

We tell posters that stating a preference for cash, when asked, is okay. Usually we say to do it more tactfully, but since FI was repeating this back to you, it's possible he just didn't repeat it well.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

lvgirl1000 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

People who aren't Roman Catholic will identify as Orthodox Catholic or Eastern Catholic or Byzantine Catholic or whatever.

If you give us the name of the church where the wedding is being held, I can tell you what the branch of Catholicism is.

No worries there. The church website identifies it as Our Lady of Las Vegas Roman Catholic Church.

That just sounds funny!

I'm picturing Madonna in sequence, lol.

I thought so too & I live here.But I thought maybe it's common to do.? Our Lady of Omaha & such.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

ashleyep said:

Usually we say to do it more tactfully, but since FI was repeating this back to you, it's possible he just didn't repeat it well.

This is likely.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

lvgirl1000 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lvgirl1000 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

People who aren't Roman Catholic will identify as Orthodox Catholic or Eastern Catholic or Byzantine Catholic or whatever.

If you give us the name of the church where the wedding is being held, I can tell you what the branch of Catholicism is.

No worries there. The church website identifies it as Our Lady of Las Vegas Roman Catholic Church.

That just sounds funny!

I'm picturing Madonna in sequence, lol.

I thought so too & I live here.But I thought maybe it's common to do.? Our Lady of Omaha & such.

(a) Yes, that church is Roman Catholic, and (b) yes, it's very common. You'll sometimes see 'Our Lady of...' and then a specific Lady or a specific help ('Seven Sorrows,' 'Lourdes,' 'Perpetual Help,' 'Christian Help,' 'Grace,' etc.), but in this case, I think it's just a general, 'Our Lady of Las Vegas,' subtitle; 'Cause all y'all need all the help I can give you! (Kidding).

If you have any questions, please let us know!

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I think it's just a general, 'Our Lady of Las Vegas,' subtitle; 'Cause all y'all need all the help I can give you! (Kidding).

If you have any questions, please let us know!

Our Lady of Las Vegas (Sinful Sinning Sinners that you are).

MGP · April 2014

lvgirl1000 said:

FI said invite was by e-mail

& it was in Spanish.

Could you clarify if the email was just written text in Spanish (or a forwarded email), or a scanned copy of the invite? If it was the former, then yes I feel the hosts should have translated. That's just laziness and rude. If it was the latter I see no problem with the invite being in Spanish, although a translation would have been nice. And I hate to say it but getting an invite (in any form or language) a month out could possibly be B list. Especially with a weekday wedding with a gap.

CMGragain · April 2014

I worked as a church organist for 28 years. I played at many weddings. Two of them were conducted in a language which I did not speak - one in Cantonese, and one in an African language (can't remember which one.). In both services, I had to ask the officiant for cues on when I should play. It was interesting! The African wedding (Ghana, I think) was actually a PPD, and the relatives and friends were dressed in native garb. Gorgeous! The ladies actually out shined the "bride", who wore a traditional western white pouffy gown.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

MGP said:

Could you clarify if the email was just written text in Spanish (or a forwarded email), or a scanned copy of the invite? If it was the former, then yes I feel the hosts should have translated. That's just laziness and rude. If it was the latter I see no problem with the invite being in Spanish, although a translation would have been nice. And I hate to say it but getting an invite (in any form or language) a month out could possibly be B list. Especially with a weekday wedding with a gap.

It was written text mass e-mailed. A month ago is when FI told me about it. He might have received it earlier and slacked on letting me know. It has a B-list "feel" for me too though.

I will say that this has made me appreciate the use of proper etiquette in weddings. Whether we were B-list for this wedding or not, I want to make sure my guests don't have cause to feel that they are.

wrigleyville · April 2014

"Las Vegas" means "the meadows", so it's sort of like "Our Lady of the Meadows".

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

Schatzi13 said:

They very vociferously appreciated it.

Srsly, you win the English.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

wrigleyville said:

"Las Vegas" means "the meadows", so it's sort of like "Our Lady of the Meadows".

That's funny! Meadows is not what springs to mind when I think of that area, even if there were no casions.

Bubblegum5586 · April 2014

lvgirl1000 said:

STARMOON44 said:

I just think it seems really entitled to be demanding English from people who socially speak Spanish. He could have just plugged it into google translate. People who don't speak English put up with this all the time.

Entitled? Where exactly are you coming from with this? No one is demanding anything. FYI, People who speak ENGLISH put up with this all the time. When I travel to Japan, I don't expect people to speak to me in English, just because I speak it socially. THAT would be entitled.

I get in our great country we are a melting pot of many backgrounds but English is the language of our country, and I'm sorry if non English speakers have to put up with that... (FWIW my stepmom and her family immigrated here 15 years ago. It took time but my step mom has learned to speak English and they are now all citizens in this country. So please don't think I am against people coming to our country or having their own languages and backgrounds. I strictly mean when you come to a country you learn that language and don't expect everyone to learn yours).

I like what some PP had said about sending the invitation in the other language but with an English insert. I think it would be very neat to see an invite in another language and give some indication of the ceremony as well.

biggrouch · April 2014

I get in our great country we are a melting pot of many backgrounds but English is the language of our country, and I'm sorry if non English speakers have to put up with that... I strictly mean when you come to a country you learn that language and don't expect everyone to learn yours

I would say that when you come to the wedding of someone who's from another country or culture, you sit and deal with the fact that it (including, possibly, some of the wedding frills like invitations) may be in a different language and you don't expect everyone to bend over backwards to accommodate you. (OP, I realize you didn't do that.)

The U.S. doesn't actually have an official language, according to usa.gov.

ladyamanuet · April 2014

biggrouch said:

I get in our great country we are a melting pot of many backgrounds but English is the language of our country, and I'm sorry if non English speakers have to put up with that... I strictly mean when you come to a country you learn that language and don't expect everyone to learn yours

I would say that when you come to the wedding of someone who's from another country or culture, you sit and deal with the fact that it (including, possibly, some of the wedding frills like invitations) may be in a different language and you don't expect everyone to bend over backwards to accommodate you. (OP, I realize you didn't do that.)

The U.S. doesn't actually have an official language, according to usa.gov.

Sure, that part. But why bother sending an invitation at all if the person you sent it to just has to call you to find out everything that is on it? Why not just extend a verbal invite? If you want guests to have the appropriate information, it is polite to do it in a language that guest understands. Especially in this situation where it was a forwarded mass email - that's just laziness. They could have sent an individual email to everyone, copying and pasting a Spanish invite for those who speak it, and an English invite for those who don't. (I am of course putting aside that it was done by email in the first place....)

Edited to try and fix background... lost cause

thesummersky · April 2014

Not related to your question, but -

I just wanted to let you know that every time I see the title of this post on the board, I hear it in Aragorn's voice, and it makes me smile. Thanks for that!

Edited, missed a word.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

thesummersky said:

Not related to your question, but -

I just wanted to let you know that every time I see the title of this post on the board, I hear it in Aragorn's voice, and it makes me smile. Thanks for that!

Edited, missed a word.

Aragorn makes me smile too.

MyNameIsNot · April 2014

Am I the only one who thinks a 3:00 ceremony on a weekday followed by a gap is specifically designed to encourage people to skip the ceremony, thus "forcing" the small ceremony, large reception?

If I were OP, I would be skipping the ceremony. If my H wanted to go, he could pick me up after work and I'd join him for the reception. No way would I consider taking PTO for an acquaintance's wedding.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

MyNameIsNot said:

Am I the only one who thinks a 3:00 ceremony on a weekday followed by a gap is specifically designed to encourage people to skip the ceremony, thus "forcing" the small ceremony, large reception?

If I were OP, I would be skipping the ceremony. If my H wanted to go, he could pick me up after work and I'd join him for the reception. No way would I consider taking PTO for an acquaintance's wedding.

You might be right. Wedding was yesterday. Of course I have no idea how many guests were invited. There were about 40-50 at the ceremony. Just before the ceremony the Coordinator (or someone) asked most of us move up & sit closer to the front so it wouldn't look as empty. FI had two buddies that he knew were invited that were not there.

Honestly, the ceremony was so long (1 hour 40 minutes, there were several delays in the ceremony that made it seem disjointed/uncoordinated) that by the time it was over, FI said there was no way in hot hell we were going to the reception.

STARMOON44 · April 2014

Wow. So you RSVPed "yes" and then skipped the reception because you didn't like the ceremony? That's all kinds of crazy rude.

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

STARMOON44 said:

Wow. So you RSVPed "yes" and then skipped the reception because you didn't like the ceremony? That's all kinds of crazy rude.

There was a gap. After 1 hour and 40 minute ceremony and a gap, I think they are okay to go home without us judging them.

ETA: words

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

blueeyes90 said:

STARMOON44 said:

Wow. So you RSVPed "yes" and then skipped the reception because you didn't like the ceremony? That's all kinds of crazy rude.

There was a gap. After 1 hour and 40 minute ceremony and a gap, I think they are okay to go home without us judging them.

ETA: words

I don't see attending the ceremony & not the reception as being rude in ANY WAY. FI RSVP'd for the wedding. We attended the wedding.

STARMOON44 · April 2014

Ok. So they didn't include you in the catering count, right? They didn't save a seat for you at the reception? Didn't prepare for you to attend? Because when you RSVPed you told then you were only going to the ceremony? Wedding invites that have only one RSVP are understood to be for the reception, because you don't typically need an accurate head count for the ceremony. Skipping the ceremony would have been fine. Skipping the reception was not.

Having a gap is rude. Being rude in retaliation is still not ok.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

STARMOON44 said:

Ok. So they didn't include you in the catering count, right? They didn't save a seat for you at the reception? Didn't prepare for you to attend? Because when you RSVPed you told then you were only going to the ceremony? Wedding invites that have only one RSVP are understood to be for the reception, because you don't typically need an accurate head count for the ceremony. Skipping the ceremony would have been fine. Skipping the reception was not. Having a gap is rude. Being rude in retaliation is still not ok.

I think the moral of this story is that if you have a gap, you run the risk of loosing money on the reception because people might choose to skip it.

lvgirl1000 · April 2014

STARMOON44 said:

Ok. So they didn't include you in the catering count, right? They didn't save a seat for you at the reception? Didn't prepare for you to attend? Because when you RSVPed you told then you were only going to the ceremony? Wedding invites that have only one RSVP are understood to be for the reception, because you don't typically need an accurate head count for the ceremony. Skipping the ceremony would have been fine. Skipping the reception was not. Having a gap is rude. Being rude in retaliation is still not ok.

I disagree with this. My guests are my guests because it's important to me for them to be present for my wedding ceremony, I would not consider it rude for guests to leave after the ceremony. They are not my prisoners and are free to leave whenever they like.

Yes, I suppose they may have had two extra seats & some extra food at the reception, but that's the breaks kid.

We were certainly not rude "in retaliation." If anything, it shows that the reason wedding schedules like this are considered rude is because they are difficult for guests.

STARMOON44 · April 2014

I think the moral is if you don't want to go to something, politely decline instead of going, judging, and skipping out early.

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

Just for the record I was trying to defend lvgirl.

I don't think she was rude in retaliation. I think they were tired after a long ceremony and while they originally thought they were going to make it to the reception, it became too exhausting and too much of a hassle. I don't think that is rude.

If the bride and groom decided to play jeopardy for 2 hours before food was served and guests were hungry and tired, we would advise them to leave. How is this any different?

They planned on going to the receptions, which is a fucking thank you for the guests. If they decide not to receive their thank you because the b/g have made it difficult/exhausting/stressful, then I give them a pass. It doesn't sound like it was done out of malice or spite, so I'm on the side of "Not rude".

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