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Knottie1429124513 · April 2014

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HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

anmiller1982 said:
Well, I guess a little backstory is in order before I tell you my problem. My name's Amanda. I am currently living in Canada but I am a US citizen (from Virginia). I moved here because I fell in love with a boy (We met on the internet in 09 and I moved here in 2011) and could go to school here. After living here for a year though, my school pulled my funding and I found myself on a study permit unable to study, which invalidated my work permit. So I have been out of work ( not to mention school) for over a year, applying for, and waiting for my residency to be approved. My engagement changes none of that and in reality, none of that is my issue. Here is why I am freaking out so terribly: My dad just told me he can't come to my wedding. He would love too, of course, but he can not afford the airfare or hotel, nor can my mom, or brother. My family is not well-to-do. We have always struggled to pay rent and bills, but it never occurred to me falling in love with someone so far from my home meant my family wouldn't be able to be with me on my wedding day. So, I built this website: http://gogetfunding.com/project/buy-a-little-happiness
in the hopes that someone out there with a teeny bit more disposable income than 2 starving students (my fiancé is currently enrolled), might be able to help us. So if you, or anyone you know, (or if your one of those social tweeting gurus that hob knob in the big leagues) can get the word out to anyone that could help. If 5k people saw it, and gave a single dollar...I'll get to see my parents and my brother on my wedding day. Thank you if you can help by donating, or just spreading the word, it literally means the world to me.

Regardless of your tale of woe, things like this do not go over well here. At all.

Quoted in anticipation of the inevitable DD.

MNVegas · April 2014

KnotPorscha

Ugh so pathetic and rude!

doeydo · April 2014

Well, I guess a little backstory is in order before I tell you my problem. My name's Amanda. I am currently living in Canada but I am a US citizen (from Virginia). I moved here because I fell in love with a boy (We met on the internet in 09 and I moved here in 2011) and could go to school here. After living here for a year though, my school pulled my funding and I found myself on a study permit unable to study, which invalidated my work permit. So I have been out of work ( not to mention school) for over a year, applying for, and waiting for my residency to be approved. My engagement changes none of that and in reality, none of that is my issue. Here is why I am freaking out so terribly: My dad just told me he can't come to my wedding. He would love too, of course, but he can not afford the airfare or hotel, nor can my mom, or brother. My family is not well-to-do. We have always struggled to pay rent and bills, but it never occurred to me falling in love with someone so far from my home meant my family wouldn't be able to be with me on my wedding day. So, I built this website: http://gogetfunding.com/project/buy-a-little-happiness
in the hopes that someone out there with a teeny bit more disposable income than 2 starving students (my fiancé is currently enrolled), might be able to help us. So if you, or anyone you know, (or if your one of those social tweeting gurus that hob knob in the big leagues) can get the word out to anyone that could help. If 5k people saw it, and gave a single dollar...I'll get to see my parents and my brother on my wedding day. Thank you if you can help by donating, or just spreading the word, it literally means the world to me.

It is against the TOS to post to ask for money, right @KnotPorscha? Anyways, it is incredibly rude to go begging strangers for money. Your situation is not that unique. You and your FI can go to the U.S. to get married, get married halfway between where you are and where your family is, get married in Canada without your family (you might be able to Skype the ceremony or something), pay for your family to come to your wedding in Canada, etc.

MNVegas · April 2014

Wow that was a quick delete!

Knottie1429124513 · April 2014

My apologies...not trying to upset anyone at all. Please disregard if it is not the proper venue for such.

sarahufl · April 2014

While I understand your desire to have your family attend your wedding, this isn't "philanthropy". If you can't afford a wedding, you should re-consider your plan and do something that works for your family.

Also, a word of advice- this won't go over well here.

wrigleyville · April 2014

Nothing is the proper venue for this. It's a wedding, not a liver transplant.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

Also, I just read your gofundme site and all I can say is...holy.effing.shitballs.

MNVegas · April 2014

anmiller1982 said:

My apologies...not trying to upset anyone at all. Please disregard if it is not the proper venue for such.

There is no proper venue to ask people to pay for your wedding. You are not a charity. A lot of people cannot have the weddings they want and many people get married without their families present. Sorry but that is life and no one is responsible for paying for your wedding except your and your FI.

afox007 · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:
Also, I just read your gofundme site and all I can say is...holy.effing.shitballs.

But for 500 you get one of her wedding favors! And wedding favors are expensive!

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

anmiller1982 said:
My apologies...not trying to upset anyone at all. Please disregard if it is not the proper venue for such.

What would have given you the idea that there is a proper venue for this?

smalfrie19 · April 2014

Also, this is a forum of 99% brides ....what makes you think any of us have extra money lying around that we aren't putting towards our OWN weddings?

phira · April 2014

You're not entitled to any particular kind of wedding day. The way your life has gone isn't wrong, but it does mean that you can either afford to get married with your partner's family present (and not yours), your family present (but not your partner's), or with neither family present. It's just a decision you have to make. There are ways to soften the absence of family members: you can find a way to live-stream the ceremony, and/or have a small hometown reception after the wedding with whichever family couldn't make it to the wedding.

But coming onto forums and violating the terms of service to ask for money is inappropriate.

Knottie1429124513 · April 2014

Thank you all for your responses. I feel I have made it clear that I was unaware of the violation and to the best of my ability provided to me by the forum, removed the post extraordinarily quickly. I have apologized for my inconsideration to the other members of the community, and I am (again) quite sorry as it was fully not my intention to upset anyone. Feel free to continue to post as you like and berate me as you feel you must, but I will no longer be responding to messages left here and I would sincerely appreciate it if you would simply not leave them. I understand your ire. Either way, thank you for your understanding.

ashley8918 · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Also, I just read your gofundme site and all I can say is...holy.effing.shitballs.

Me too! JESUS!

$200 gets you an autographed first dance photo! Woohoo! But if you want a thank you not, you have to dish out at least $1k,

syoun1nj · April 2014

Things you could do without to pay for your own family: favors, programs, wedding dress, expensive jewelry, alcohol, etc.

MGP · April 2014

This one never gets old.

Couggal12 · April 2014

Thank you @HisGirlFriday for quoting.

OP, not quite sure how you thought it would go down by asking complete strangers for money? That's like you walking into Starbucks yelling for everyone to fund your wedding.

Thank goodness it's almost time for this

SammiNJonni · April 2014

All my extra money is going to my own wedding. Want suggestions? You do not need anything other than the couple and officiant to have a wedding. Want your families there you need to host them appropriate to the time of day. A reception at a non meal time can be as simple as cake and punch. You do not need favors, decorations can be as minimal as you want, your dress does not need to cost a fortune look at prom/white bridesmaids dresses. Or even just a really pretty dress fro a department store. Cut back to the bare bones and once you have enough to fly your family in if there is money left over you can add stuff back in.

option 2: livestream your wedding to those who cant make it

option 3: prolong your engagement till you can afford the wedding you want.

Jells2dot0 · April 2014

Where I live, the marriage license costs $76. I recommend just getting married and throwing a party in celebration of your marriage when you are able to travel back to the US (or family can visit Canada.) DO NOT do a re-do wedding. Just have a nice party.

FWIW, I have been with my DH for 8 years (married for two.) I have spent 50% of my relationship living apart from him in some form due to work. If you need to move home to the US for a year to work and save money for a wedding, then do it. If you are truly meant to be together, you will make it through the year apart. It sucks, but it's better to be out there working on your schooling and career than begging for money from strangers.

lyndausvi · April 2014

gofundme is kind-of a scary place.

Sure some seem legit and I get some organizations use the site for fundraising (like churches and clubs, etc). But there are some that make me roll my eyes hard they hurt.

photokitty · April 2014

If your paying for programs and favors, but can't afford to fly your dad in for the wedding ~ you're doing it wrong. Priorities...get them straight!

CamiSelene · April 2014

Awww, I'm sad. I came late.The gofundme site was even taken down so I couldn't even see that.... All I could say to this post is JFC, elope if being married is that important to you. If not, wait until you are out of school, have a job, and can afford to have the kind of wedding you want. In the meantime.... PUPPIES will cheer you up!!

LDay2014 · April 2014

Boo! The gofundme page is gone now

Well, hopefully that means she got that hint about how rude it was?

Teddy917 · April 2014

Why do people never read the TOS?

MGP · April 2014

photokitty said:

If your paying for programs and favors, but can't afford to fly your dad in for the wedding ~ you're doing it wrong. Priorities...get them straight!

Apparently she wasn't paying for those either.

SP29 · April 2014

Not appropriate to ask for money to fund your wedding. You have many options.

A) Get married without your family there.

You and FI travel back to your hometown and get married there.

C) Postpone your wedding until a time when you can afford the wedding you would like to have.

My DH and I met when we were teenagers, we both did post secondary degrees (2 each). We live away from both of our families, and wanted to have our wedding back in our hometown. We got married after we had both finished our master's degrees, at the ages of 26 and 27 (not old at all to get married, but remember we were dating since we were teens) with the plan that at least I would be work (DH got a bit of money because of the research he was doing). Did we want to get married sooner? Yes. But we waited until a time where we could have the wedding we wanted without going into a pile of debt.

Rosebubbly · April 2014

WOW! This is one f the most shocking things I have seen on here!

Rosebubbly · April 2014

Worry about where your next meal, your education money is coming from! Wedding 2nd, 3rd, 4th....

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2014

Ho. Lee. Shit.

That is all.

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