Fundraisers

Teddy917 · April 2014

A zombie thread got me thinking: What kind of thing do you think would be an okay reason for a fundraiser?

I think in most situations you shouldn't ask people for money. Adoptions and the like are choices, if a friend offers to give you some money towards it, great! If not, you earn it yourself.

However, if a child in the foster care system needed money for college, I would be okay with a fundraiser for money to put into a savings bond for him/her.

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

Fundraisers I'm generally okay with (I'm only doing one's that I have personally experienced):

-medical expenses for children

-for kids sports/music/activities if I get something back (ie wreaths, cookies, wrapping paper). I don't want to just donate. Parents can pay for that, but I will support neighbor kids by buying a festive wreath. If you hit my house more than once a month or on average once a month, I will probably judge. Keep it under 6 times a year. Also, kids must do the work/selling and no pressure from the parents (our neighborhood was good about it).

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

mdurkin13

Also, I would not support Adoption fundraisers because that is just silly. I know my grandma adopted 3 children and none cost her 40,000 because she was a foster mom first and wasn't specific about age/race/gender of child. I don't know a whole ton about the adoption process, but I do know she couldn't afford that. And adoption is a choice. If you choose to adopt, you must fund it yourself.

RebeccaB88 · April 2014

In general, 501c3 charities (so long as you can provide me with printed material showing where and how my donation was used and a receipt from that charity for tax purposes - proof for me that the money actually went to the charity itself), for sick kids and deserving adults (not those who could pay for it themselves but just don't want to), and kids activities where they sell a product to raise money (provided I want the product they're selling, like Girl Scout Cookies, but not those awful World's Finest chocolate bars). And all of the above dependent on me not being hit up for one or the other every week from the same kids, the seller/collector not being rude if I have to say no, and me not being blasted with it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, etc every day.

Some of my friends are involved in the Plexus Slim weight loss drink pyramid scheme. I'm devastated that I might lose long-term friends over this schtick, but if they don't stop spamming me 3 or 4 times a day with this 'amazing opportunity' I'm going to unfriend them and block them. I'm not a hater simply because I don't want to be spammed. I don't care how much weight you've lost, my FB feed has gotten heavier and slower because of you. Keep it to yourself.

Teddy917 · April 2014

I definitely agree that if the child is doing a fundraiser for their sports team (even though that is a "choice") that's okay because the kid has no way to earn the money other than that or begging money from parents. They should also be providing something, so it's actually earned.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

Honestly I don't mind most fundraisers, assuming someone else throws them for the person/people needing the funds. For example, when my cousins were going through the adoption process they exhausted all their funds. One of the ladies at their church overheard (in other words was ease dropping on the conversation they were having with my aunt and uncle) and decided to raise some money for them.

When if comes to fundraisers for school stuff. I'm more likely to just give some money then buy something. Most of the time I don't like what is being sold but I still want to help out so I'll give them a donation and tell them to keep the cookies or candy bar for themselves.

doeydo · April 2014

I don't like plain old fundraisers. Bake some cookies and sell them to make money. Or wash some cars or something.

jalyndani · April 2014

If I have to work my ass off for enough money to pay my own bills and keep my own head above water, what makes people think that I'm all gung-ho to just "donate" that money to someone else? Get. a. job. Or a second one. Or start selling your shit and quit getting $200 hair highlights once month.

Like others have stated, I will buy things like Girl Scout Cookies (I can never pass up a box of Thin Mints!), holiday items, candles, etc. to help a group of kiddos. But all the parents these days that are pushing their friends to "donate to our gymnastics/cheerleading/pageant/dance team fund b/c travelling to competitions is expensive!"- that's total bullshit. My parents paid, in full, for every single extracurricular activity that both my sister and I ever participated in without begging anyone for money. And we BOTH did every single one of the previously mentioned activities at some point in our childhoods. Oh, you can't afford for little Suzie to go to Orlando for the National Five Year Old Dance Team Competition? Tough shit, Suzie can't go this year but she sure can watch it on that 55" flat screen you just bought. What's that? Little Mary wants to do the Little Dream Team Cheerleading Squad but those uniforms and practices are so expensive?? Looks like Mary is just going to have to suck it up and get a job of her own since Wannabe Cheer Mom spends all of their extra income on manicures, spa days, and hair highlights.

The only fundraisers I donate to usually involve animal cruelty cases and consist of raising money for legal fees for a family/shelter to pursue justice against the perpetrators. If you want to piss me off royally, abuse an animal. You want to make me cry? Show me a pitiful homeless animal sitting all alone in a shelter. I'm a sucker.

Rebl90 · April 2014

I agree with most of the PPs, extreme medical emergencies/bills for those in desperate need. (Note - This is only in regards to paying for actual medical treatments and bills, not for vacations or cosmetic surgeries that I've seen on gofundme). Kids activities/sports teams are okay as long as mom & dad are letting kiddo do the work and don't harass me or make me feel guilty. Heck, if I have a dollar or two in my pocket I'll usually "donate" to those kids selling candy bars, but that's rare.

I really disagree with fundraising for private adoption, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. We had a trend of adopting foreign children among middle and upper class families at my former church, every single week for a few months someone new would announce they were going to adopt from china/russia/etc. Those with the money typically kept quiet about costs, but those with lower incomes would constantly go on and on about costs, digging for donations and acting SO surprised when someone would offer. The reason why this bothers me is the fact that my brother is adopted, from the same county I grew up in. My parents went through the foster parent process and spent no money on private agencies that are really just there to make a profit. We had a county appointed social worker and were blessed with my brother, at no cost (I was young, so there may have been a few fees, but when I asked my mom recently she told me it didn't cost anything). I really feel like people have glamorized foreign adoptions and ignored the kids here in the US, but that's my issue, and I will never judge anyone for adopting in any situation, I just wish people took more notice of the kids here.

banana468 · April 2014

Ditto that I'll happily help donate to most child organizations. I've even donated to my coworker's football/cheer leading fund so the kids could get their letter jackets or whatever. Most of the time though I want something tangible in return for my donation if you benefit from it directly. I'll buy Boy Scout wreaths, popcorn or even coffee at the local stands because I support the organization in general. Most of the time I don't want to give you money so you can take a big trip unless I have a personal tie to you or the place soliciting.

Aray82 · April 2014

I generally donate money, items. and/or time to things I have ties to or my friends are involved with, or that I otherwise know really well and know where my resources are going. For example, I've bought coats and art supplies for an organization in my neighborhood that serves low-income families and where a close friend of mine is the development director. I've volunteered for day camps there and seen the craft supplies being used. I will also buy cookies that go to my local chapter of Animal Humane where I have friends who volunteer and where I've seen how well the animals are cared for.

However, I am totally side-eyeing the youth group organizers at my church who are doing fundraisers for a mission trip to New Orleans. We live in a very poor city with plenty of volunteer organizations constantly asking for assistance (including the crowded soup kitchen at the church!), none of which would require travel expenses. IMHO, not the best use of time and resources, and not something I should feel obligated to support.

@RebeccaB88 those World's Finest chocolate bars are awful indeed--are they still selling them in schools?? When my school sold them we'd buy a bunch and they would make me break out in the worst hives. My parents just thought I was allergic to all chocolate (terrible news for a seven-year-old!) but once World's Finest was out of the picture, I could eat all other kinds of chocolate and never got hives again.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

Rebl90 said:

I agree with most of the PPs, extreme medical emergencies/bills for those in desperate need. (Note - This is only in regards to paying for actual medical treatments and bills, not for vacations or cosmetic surgeries that I've seen on gofundme). Kids activities/sports teams are okay as long as mom & dad are letting kiddo do the work and don't harass me or make me feel guilty. Heck, if I have a dollar or two in my pocket I'll usually "donate" to those kids selling candy bars, but that's rare.

I really disagree with fundraising for private adoption, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. We had a trend of adopting foreign children among middle and upper class families at my former church, every single week for a few months someone new would announce they were going to adopt from china/russia/etc. Those with the money typically kept quiet about costs, but those with lower incomes would constantly go on and on about costs, digging for donations and acting SO surprised when someone would offer. The reason why this bothers me is the fact that my brother is adopted, from the same county I grew up in. My parents went through the foster parent process and spent no money on private agencies that are really just there to make a profit. We had a county appointed social worker and were blessed with my brother, at no cost (I was young, so there may have been a few fees, but when I asked my mom recently she told me it didn't cost anything). I really feel like people have glamorized foreign adoptions and ignored the kids here in the US, but that's my issue, and I will never judge anyone for adopting in any situation, I just wish people took more notice of the kids here.

When they revise some of the adoption laws in this country I'm sure more people will choose to adopt here. I've had several people in my family adopt and FI and I are going to so we are getting to know all the rules inside and out. The fact of the matter is it is much easier to adopt from another country. There are less holes to jump through and the wait times aren't as extensive. My cousins I was talking about above adopted two boys from the Ukraine, once all the paper work was said and done and they got to bring the boys home it had only been 6 months, granted they adopted older children and not babies so that might have had something to do with it, but my other cousins have been on the list in the U.S. for about five years now and are no closer to getting a child.

edited because autocorrect sucks.

alpacalunch · April 2014

I've no issue buying items like Girl Guide cookies, or sponsoring someone for a charity run. Particularly medical research charities, almost always will get my money. Kids, well, as long as it's them and not their parents. In grade 5, we had to sell cheese (yeah, I know) and stuff to raise money for a trip. Our parents were only allowed to contribute so much, and we were selling as a team. Obv parents could buy hundred of $s worth of the cheese, but then they're helping the entire class. But just "give me money please" requests don't get my attention.

Regarding adoption fundraising, I'd never heard of it until the resurrection of that post. All the families I've known who have adopted have absorbed the costs themselves. One family adopted from Russia to Canada, and through the grapevine we heard about all the costs and delays, but never once did they ask for help. I know,here, domestic adoption isn't necessarily expensive. The wait times can be longer, sure, but generally that's due to matching the right child with the family, particularly if there are specific features the adoptive family wants (ie baby vs 4yo). International adoption is a lot more expensive, but you may not wait as long or be deemed and appropriate candidate with more relaxed guidelines. But that it a choice to make. There are kids who need homes nearby or not.

Rebl90 · April 2014

jdluvr06 said:

Rebl90 said:

I agree with most of the PPs, extreme medical emergencies/bills for those in desperate need. (Note - This is only in regards to paying for actual medical treatments and bills, not for vacations or cosmetic surgeries that I've seen on gofundme). Kids activities/sports teams are okay as long as mom & dad are letting kiddo do the work and don't harass me or make me feel guilty. Heck, if I have a dollar or two in my pocket I'll usually "donate" to those kids selling candy bars, but that's rare.

I really disagree with fundraising for private adoption, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. We had a trend of adopting foreign children among middle and upper class families at my former church, every single week for a few months someone new would announce they were going to adopt from china/russia/etc. Those with the money typically kept quiet about costs, but those with lower incomes would constantly go on and on about costs, digging for donations and acting SO surprised when someone would offer. The reason why this bothers me is the fact that my brother is adopted, from the same county I grew up in. My parents went through the foster parent process and spent no money on private agencies that are really just there to make a profit. We had a county appointed social worker and were blessed with my brother, at no cost (I was young, so there may have been a few fees, but when I asked my mom recently she told me it didn't cost anything). I really feel like people have glamorized foreign adoptions and ignored the kids here in the US, but that's my issue, and I will never judge anyone for adopting in any situation, I just wish people took more notice of the kids here.

When they revise some of the adoption laws in this country I'm sure more people will choose to adopt here. I've had several people in my family adopt and FI and I are going to so we are getting to know all the rules inside and out. The fact of the matter is it is much easier to adopt from another country. There are less holes to jump through and the wait times aren't as extensive. My cousins I was talking about above adopted two boys from the Ukraine, once all the paper work was said and done and they got to bring the boys home it had only been 6 months, granted they adopted older children and not babies so that might have had something to do with it, but my other cousins have been on the list in the U.S. for about five years now and are no closer to getting a child.

edited because autocorrect sucks.

It's really a case to case basis. My parents had a terrible social worker who wrote lies in the home study and for years there was no word (because the county was taking the social worker at their word and not placing a child in what they thought would be a bad home). This social worker was found to be doing the same thing to all of her assigned families and was fired. Within a month of having a new social worker we had my brother. The legal aspects of finalization took less than a year. I have known quite a few families to adopt from out of the country and it took much longer than our experience (with the second social worker). I will admit though that when you adopt here in the US, you run the risk of parental or familial rights being reestablished before the adoption is finalized, and that can be too much for some people. (I know that would break my heart!)

syoun1nj · April 2014

I donate to our local animal shelter (items and money).

The only "gofundme" thing I ever did a friend who died suddenly and tragically in a car accident driving home after Xmas. Her family did not have the money to bring her and her surviving pets home and have a funeral. So I donated to them. That was it. I would probably donate to a sick child I knew or friend. I'm not big on the Internet pity parties. They are terrible situations but I don't like to pick and choose who "deserves" it most.

I absolutely do not support pyramid schemes, wedding fundraisers, adoption, vacation, honeyfund, etc. My sister's friend once tried to do one for her dogs surgery. She didn't feel like paying for it because her wedding was more important. Ugh.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

Rebl90 said:

jdluvr06 said:

Rebl90 said:

I agree with most of the PPs, extreme medical emergencies/bills for those in desperate need. (Note - This is only in regards to paying for actual medical treatments and bills, not for vacations or cosmetic surgeries that I've seen on gofundme). Kids activities/sports teams are okay as long as mom & dad are letting kiddo do the work and don't harass me or make me feel guilty. Heck, if I have a dollar or two in my pocket I'll usually "donate" to those kids selling candy bars, but that's rare.

I really disagree with fundraising for private adoption, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. We had a trend of adopting foreign children among middle and upper class families at my former church, every single week for a few months someone new would announce they were going to adopt from china/russia/etc. Those with the money typically kept quiet about costs, but those with lower incomes would constantly go on and on about costs, digging for donations and acting SO surprised when someone would offer. The reason why this bothers me is the fact that my brother is adopted, from the same county I grew up in. My parents went through the foster parent process and spent no money on private agencies that are really just there to make a profit. We had a county appointed social worker and were blessed with my brother, at no cost (I was young, so there may have been a few fees, but when I asked my mom recently she told me it didn't cost anything). I really feel like people have glamorized foreign adoptions and ignored the kids here in the US, but that's my issue, and I will never judge anyone for adopting in any situation, I just wish people took more notice of the kids here.

When they revise some of the adoption laws in this country I'm sure more people will choose to adopt here. I've had several people in my family adopt and FI and I are going to so we are getting to know all the rules inside and out. The fact of the matter is it is much easier to adopt from another country. There are less holes to jump through and the wait times aren't as extensive. My cousins I was talking about above adopted two boys from the Ukraine, once all the paper work was said and done and they got to bring the boys home it had only been 6 months, granted they adopted older children and not babies so that might have had something to do with it, but my other cousins have been on the list in the U.S. for about five years now and are no closer to getting a child.

edited because autocorrect sucks.

It's really a case to case basis. My parents had a terrible social worker who wrote lies in the home study and for years there was no word (because the county was taking the social worker at their word and not placing a child in what they thought would be a bad home). This social worker was found to be doing the same thing to all of her assigned families and was fired. Within a month of having a new social worker we had my brother. The legal aspects of finalization took less than a year. I have known quite a few families to adopt from out of the country and it took much longer than our experience (with the second social worker). I will admit though that when you adopt here in the US, you run the risk of parental or familial rights being reestablished before the adoption is finalized, and that can be too much for some people. (I know that would break my heart!)

True. We haven't decided if we're going to adopt in the country or not yet but that last minute change of mind is something I'm worried about. I don't know if I can go through that.

Simply Fated · April 2014

It definitely depends. In general, I would rather donate items and my time rather than money.

I've given money for cookies and gift wrap and all that stuff but ONLY if the kids ask me. They are supposed to be learning how to do things and not relying on your parents to do things for you. That completely defeats its purpose.

When it comes to crowdfunding and sites like GoFundMe, I would prefer to give money to things that people don't have a choice over.

natswild · April 2014

I donate a substantial amount of my artwork to silent auctions, like Children's Miracle Network (Costco does that on a yearly basis); also donated artwork 1.5 years ago for 5 high school guys who'd been in a drunk driving accident (4 died and one survived, in a coma for 6 months, just now starting to walk again). Things like that I have no problem donating to. Gofundme and the like, NOT A CHANCE

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

Oh can I say that I am tired of every fucking person hitting me up to sponsor some fun-run charity. "But it's for cancer/lupus/whateverhorriblethingyouwanttoputhere".

My thoughts: If that is the charity you want to support, you fucking support it. I do research on every charity I donate too and I don't support the same causes as you and that is okay. Because I don't donate to you doesn't mean I'm heartless and doesn't mean I don't donate at all. I choose charities that spend money in the way I want them to.

/endrant

Just tired of that attitude.

Papillon0928 · April 2014

I usually donate to children's charities and events (bought Girl Guide cookies just today- there goes the diet!), and while I don't necessarily want or need candles/food/flowers etc in return, sometimes it's a nice touch. I don't give if the parent is soliciting on the kid's behalf- after all it's the kid's job to earn their donations.

Medical causes are a tricky one. I have some that are near and dear to me, so I donate and take part in runs and charity events, but I don't expect others to shell out money. For a select few others, I may donate my artwork or gift certificates as silent auction or raffle prizes, but I just can't donate to every medical research foundation- I get bombarded by different ones all the time, and it's just not feasible to donate financially to all of them

lyndausvi · April 2014

Charity/ fundraising in general is a case-by-case basis for me. Two people can have the same sob story and I might give something to one person and not the other.

SP29 · April 2014

Kids selling stuff is a case-by-case for me. I don't have a problem with it, because a kid can't get a job, so as long as they are the one doing the selling, that is them working for their money. But it depends what it is for, and I will only buy something if I actually like what they are selling.

DH and I often donate money to charities. However even those get excessive some times! It's like you donate to 1 or 2 and they give the number out and then every charity is calling you! Before we got rid of our home phone (for other reasons) we were getting a phone call from a charity every other week, every month. Yeah, I get that your charity is important, but we cannot give to them all.

I prefer fundraisers that "give" something. Whether its a dance event that one buys tickets to, even if there are raffles and 50/50s, bar proceeds, etc... or a bake sale, at least there is something I am getting enjoyment out of as well.

I don't have a problem with fundraisers or "gofundme" type things for people with extreme cases- namely medical bills. I also donate clothing and household items.

But situations where something is a choice or someone is outright asking for money with nothing in return- that bugs me. Yes, education is important, but there are options to going to school, such as a cheaper local one, getting a part time job, and loans. Yes, it's awesome your kid plays a sport, but its not up to me to make sure that happens (unless of course you're selling something awesome I like, then maybe I'll buy something off of you, one time, for the team). Yes, getting married is an amazing experience, but it's not up to me to make sure you can go on a 10K honeymoon after.

Angusaur · April 2014

Someone I used to be friends with in HS recently lost her 4 month old baby. It was completely unexpected, and not something people have in the back of their mind to save for. She did set up a gofundme to help with funeral arrangements. I donated to this in a heartbeat.

I've also attended several dinner/fundraisers for funeral arrangements for other people. I find this to be very difficult, but deserving and appropriate. I'm also okay with gofundmes for things like house fires.

I agree with PP's about kids hobby/sports fundraisers also, and would have no problem donating. I just donated quite a bit to the local kids baseball team. I hope when my son picks his hobby, other people will be willing to donate.

I do not think wedding, adoption, or most other fundraisers are appropriate.

grumbledore · April 2014

Fundraisers I am okay with:

-medical expenses/funeral expenses (child or adult, I think it's absolutely inhumane the way the healthcare system works in this country [USA])

-like someone said above - school/scout/sport fundraisers where I get something in exchange (candy bar, cookies, whatever)

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

I'm also in the case-by-case basis camp.

I'll BUY things from all kinds of organisations -- Girl Scout cookies; sandwiches for school events; candles or wreathes or holiday items or wrapping paper for school fundraisers; etc.

I donate used clothing and household goods to the thrift store attached to our parish all the time.

I usually buy stuff at the parish festival and bazaar -- gift tags made out of recycled Christmas cards, home-made baked goods, etc.

The only organisations I'll give money to and expect nothing in return from are the church, the SPCA, and any disease-research groups (Alzheimer's, diabetes, cancer). Otherwise, if you want my money, I probably want something in return for it.

Especially with kids, I have no problem BUYING something from them -- a sandwich, wrapping paper, a car wash, etc. -- but I won't just GIVE them money for their trip or whatever. I feel like they need to earn it.

MGP · April 2014

grumbledore said:

Fundraisers I am okay with:

-medical expenses/funeral expenses (child or adult, I think it's absolutely inhumane the way the healthcare system works in this country [USA])

-like someone said above - school/scout/sport fundraisers where I get something in exchange (candy bar, cookies, whatever) - I will do this if the kids are the ones making the effort, NOT the parents.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Other than the examples listed above unless you show me your 501 (c)(3) number you won't be getting a dime from me. With that being said, I do give very generously to those causes I choose to support. CHOOSE is the key word here.

The asks (yes that is the correct term to use in the legit fundraising world) that bother me most are the non necessities which unfortunately are the majority of them. Cosmetic surgeries, vacations, and weddings are the worst. Just lazy people that want someone else to foot the bill.

Personally I feel that adoption/fertility falls into the non necessity category. I understand why people ask for money for it, I would just never contribute to it. A friend of a friend sent me an email asking for money to help fund her in vitro procedures. She already had three kids and "just wanted another one" but couldn't due to an emergency c-section after her last delivery. It really rubbed me the wrong way.

ElcaB · April 2014

A coworker distributed donation request letters to several of our inboxes so she could send her children to church camp. I can't make this shit up.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

ElcaB said:

A coworker distributed donation request letters to several of our inboxes so she could send her children to church camp. I can't make this shit up.

Oh holy effing shitballs.

I really, really, REALLY dislike people fundraising for their kids at work in general, but this is just even more ridiculous.

KeptInStitches · April 2014

Oh gawd one of my FI's cousins did this as well - form letters on which he had penciled in FI's name and signed it. I guarantee the kid didn't even write the letter. And right now if you can't make the effort to write a letter and explain why it matters in your own words, I (and thankfully FI) have no inclination to send you to the Caribbean on a mission trip.

rajahmd · April 2014

I'm all for supporting church trips, but I only support my church. I won't just donate to any church trip.

Growing up, my family couldn't afford vacations. We never went anywhere. We couldn't afford camp either. The only time I got to go on a trip was for church mission trips. Usually families had to pay a certain amount and the church would pay the rest. If families had trouble meeting the fee, the church found a way to help. And the entire youth group would do fundraisers, like car washes and bake sales, to help go towards what the church paid. The more we raised, the less each family paid. If not for those trips, I would have missed out on a lot growing up. I am incredibly thankful, and that's why I have no issues supporting mission trips from my church.

emmaaa · April 2014

I'll donate in certain circumstances. I like to buy girl Scout cookies (was a GS) and Boy Scout pocorn (both brothers and FI were BS). I hate when people try to constantly raise money for their kids at work. My mom aways took our orders forms to work for people but THEY approached her wanting to buy because they knew it was that time of year. Our parents also made us do all the work (other than driving us aorun dif we needed). Like many have said, I like to buy products.

I will donate to St. Judes and the Alzheimers Association.

I'm actually leading a scholarship fundraiser right now for my home church. On of my good frineds passed away this past year in a car accident and was heavily involved in this church. So we're doing a 5K to raise money for a scholarship fund for EVERY SINGLE active member at the church (will be disperssed evenly thoughout their tim ein college). Since this is close to me and a lot of the community, we have had an overwhelming amount of support.

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