So I'm two days away from sending out invites. Two days. My mom calls me tonight saying she talked to Mrs. Smith, whose whole family is invited, as a family on their invitation. The two younger sons live at home and are not adults. The oldest, who is two years out of college and in grad school, was included on his parents' invite because honestly, the kid is busy in school and I'd be tracking down his RSVP (victimless etiquette crime, and my biggest faux pas, this is the only family that is all invited, so let's move on).
So this woman and my mom talked today. She told my mom that oldest son, let's call him Jake, has a girlfriend now who lives in my city and is a wedding planner, they've told her about the wedding, and she has been gushing about my venue. And the girl's family is hosting the boy and his friends when he comes to town for Lollapalooza so it'd be so nice for them to do something else fun the weekend before (idk, whatever). So she asks my mom since it's late in the game if the girl can just come for the dancing portion. My mom tells her that she's sure the girl can come for the whole thing (of course, we're not tiering the damn reception) but she just needs to check with me, the bride.
I tell my mom of course this girl can come, but I'm thinking to myself I will be livid if they RSVP yes for her and she is a no-show. Because seriously, what wedding planner, in peak wedding season is getting two Saturdays off in a row? My mom texts this lady back and says she's so happy the boy has a girlfriend and of course she can come for the whole thing, but oops, we don't have any more invites (we really do not have a single extra), so if she can just RSVP for the girl if she is able to make it.
This boy is my friend, and we have talked about this girl before because she dated one of his other friends like 5 years ago (all good things, more of just a she exists type discussion). So I message him on Facebook:
Me: You ARE dating Julie! I had a hunch!
Him: Not dating. But I assume you talked to your mom.
Me: Wait, I'm confused. She's your girlfriend, right?
Him: No she isn't.
Me: Ohhhh. So my mom is confused then.
Him: It's a gray area right now.
Me: My mom interpreted it as gf. Anyway, totally happy to have Julie come if she can make it. I know it's in peak wedding season, so just keep me posted.
Him: Well I hope my mom didn't lie. I will. Thanks.
I am really, really confused. On the one hand, it's one person, but it's an in-town guest with a job that will probably require her to work, and as the added guest of someone who doesn't really understand the expense of weddings yet. And clearly there is some fishy communication on their status as a couple if the guy himself is saying they aren't (so they are not a social unit to be invited together). She's verbally invited, but this feels all very informal and I'm a little weirded out by the guy's response. I don't want to be bitchy about it, but I'm kind of thinking the informality of the addition of this girl to the family's invite means the status could change. The whole situation seems really flaky (they're not a couple AND she's a wedding planner taking the following weekend off). Should I just follow up with him personally a couple weeks before the wedding with a message of "Hey! So excited to see you in two weeks! Is Julie able to make it still?"