Hosting your own meal train?

crunchymamaof2 · May 2014

An old coworker of DH just had their second child. I really don't know her other than being FB friends and her constantly asking for play dates (borderline obsessive IMO). A couple of days ago both my husband and I received a Facebook invite, from her directly, about a meal train she was hosting. For herself. I'm not sure if everyone was supposed to make or drop off meals at the date and time listed or just sign up to make a meal, but this was sent to almost 150 people and it said (paraphrasing) "baby # 2 is coming soon so please sign up to help us with meals after they arrive!" Like, point blank asking people to make them meals to make their lives easier after baby comes. And she's sending this to practical strangers?? I found it so rude and off putting. Please tell me this was rude because if this is a widely accepted thing I think I've lost faith in humanity.

I'm all for making meals and helping out after a baby but it's because I want to, not because I was solicited by the recipients.

KGold80 · May 2014

No, you're not mistaken. That was rude. It's every bit as rude as hosting your own bridal or baby shower.

lyndausvi · May 2014

oh my.

I might have to forget I saw that post. yikes.

NYCMercedes · May 2014

crunchymamaof2 said:

An old coworker of DH just had their second child. I really don't know her other than being FB friends and her constantly asking for play dates (borderline obsessive IMO). A couple of days ago both my husband and I received a Facebook invite, from her directly, about a meal train she was hosting. For herself. I'm not sure if everyone was supposed to make or drop off meals at the date and time listed or just sign up to make a meal, but this was sent to almost 150 people and it said (paraphrasing) "baby # 2 is coming soon so please sign up to help us with meals after they arrive!" Like, point blank asking people to make them meals to make their lives easier after baby comes. And she's sending this to practical strangers?? I found it so rude and off putting. Please tell me this was rude because if this is a widely accepted thing I think I've lost faith in humanity.

I'm all for making meals and helping out after a baby but it's because I want to, not because I was solicited by the recipients.

I agree with you. She's soliciting. Not cool.

Couggal12 · May 2014

Oh goodness. I didn't even know that was a thing. Even if someone offered to host that for me I'm not sure I'd even be comfortable doing that let alone hosting it myself.

photokitty · May 2014

If you ask me to make meals bc you or your kids has cancer I'm willing overlook a FB request. Ya know, bc you are stressed and not thinking clearly and it's a tragic situation. And tragedy gets a pass. I'd probably send out an email to our friends suggesting it before you could ask tho...

...but bc you pushed out a healthy baby??? Hack NO!

Decline with the local pizza delivery number.

So rude...

jenna8984 · May 2014

I have never heard of a meal train in my life.

I'm with @photokitty- "Congrats, you are quite capable of calling Dominos"

Inkdancer · May 2014

I'd reply with a digital Domino's coupon.

Jen4948 · May 2014

I've never heard of this either. But it's rude to solicit gifts for oneself no matter what the occasion.

AprilH81 · May 2014

Usually these are organized by friends/family/churches to help the new parents out. It is VERY rude and tacky to try to organize one for yourself (the mom-to-be, not the OP).

You know, it is also possible to pre-plan meals and have some stuff ready to go in the freezer... Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you are incapable. My sister handled a toddler while she was 9 months pregnant with twins and she still found time to put some meals in the freezer.

Northrend · May 2014

I think I am going to start a trend called the "Potty Train" where people sign up to come over to my house to wipe my ass for me.

AddieCake · May 2014

I would definitely contribute to one as long as it wasn't set up by the parents themselves. I think it's a wonderful way to help out friends.

phira · May 2014

Inkdancer said:

I'd reply with a digital Domino's coupon.

I love you.

lc07 · May 2014

Guys! I want a meal train. I don't intend to ever have children. So if I'm feeling particularly lazy or my month is super busy with work can I pull a Carrie on SATC and register for a meal train just because? Why should you guys w/ kiddos get one while no one will ever make me a meal train?

Sidenote: I eat a lot but I don't want your food if you lick the spoon while you cook and I don't eat gluten.

Sign up below, please.

Lizzieyounce · May 2014

Holy shit! What ever happened to cooking an extra meal a week and freezing it in preparation for the birth of your child? I did this for both of my pregnancies, and for one of them I was single, working full time and the mother of a three year old.

It's not that hard.

My parents came over one day and cooked meals after I had both of my children, but I certainly didn't ASK them to. Some co-workers delivered pre made dinners to my home after I had my second (prematurely) which was nice, and I was so thankful of that, but then again I DIDN'T ASK and I had plenty in the freezer already. Because I preplanned!

I'm starting my nursing clinical's this fall and I've already started doing freezer meals so that my H and my daughter will have something to eat besides hot dogs and junk when I have a 12 hour day. It's not that hard and lasagna freezes beautifully.

I don't get some of the younger generation these days, and I'm only 47.

That said, I have and will cook meals for the bereaved, new moms, people recovering from surgery etc because I want to, but don't SOLICIT this deed from me.

I'd ignore her message.

Aray82 · May 2014

This is something I would offer along with any other kind of help but would find off-putting if the family were soliciting this themselves. I was a bit put off recently when some friends and I offered to host a baby shower for another friend this summer and she declined but also suggested that instead we and our SOs come over to clean her house when she's far along so the baby can have a clean environment to come home to. This I found at least odd if not quite rude--will see what other friends want to do with this suggestion but I barely have time to clean my own house without kids.

16maybeless · May 2014

phira said:

Inkdancer said:

I'd reply with a digital Domino's coupon.

I love you.

So you're telling me I can sign up for Domino's coupon train? Because I'm in.

KGold80 · May 2014

Aray82 said:

This is something I would offer along with any other kind of help but would find off-putting if the family were soliciting this themselves. I was a bit put off recently when some friends and I offered to host a baby shower for another friend this summer and she declined but also suggested that instead we and our SOs come over to clean her house when she's far along so the baby can have a clean environment to come home to. This I found at least odd if not quite rude--will see what other friends want to do with this suggestion but I barely have time to clean my own house without kids.

dafuq? Who does that?

monkeysip · May 2014

Yeah, I think it's a really nice thing to do for moms who just gave birth, but to request people to sign up? Holy crap that's rude.

I'm due in a couple months, and I don't expect anyone to bring us meals. If someone were to choose to do so, of course I'd be very grateful. But no way would I ever ask anyone to do that!

crunchymamaof2 · May 2014

AddieCake said:

I would definitely contribute to one as long as it wasn't set up by the parents themselves. I think it's a wonderful way to help out friends.

EXACTLY! Babies and weddings bring out the crazies...

kitty8403 · May 2014

Lots of people organize meals for the first few weeks after having a baby, undergoing major surgery, etc. Having someone ask doesn't bother me, per se. But these are usually organized by churches or community volunteers. I think it's tacky to annoy strangers online.

AddieCake · May 2014

She isn't annoying strangers. She is asking her friends and family. Still tacky, but I don't know where you got that they were strangers.

ei34 · May 2014

^The OP used the term "practical strangers".
I'm always happy to pitch in and help out those I'm close to who need extra help, but the way this woman sent a mass email would irk me too.

Rosebubbly · May 2014

@northrend best comment of the day!

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

AddieCake said:
I would definitely contribute to one as long as it wasn't set up by the parents themselves. I think it's a wonderful way to help out friends.

We just did one for friends of ours who had a baby about four weeks early. The mother's sister organised it.

I made vegetable lasagna.

MuppetOverlord · May 2014

Sorry that I'm late to responding. I had to vomit after reading this.

The fact that this is an old co-worker of your husband's and not even someone you regularly associate indicates to me that they just sent this out to their whole friends list. This would cause me to "unfriend" them.

I would happily offer to do this if it was organized FOR the couple, if I have a relationship with them outside of Facebook. Old work acquaintances hardly qualify.

ohannabelle · May 2014

No. Just no.

Why why why do people do these shameful things? And without shame?

And why do I feel shame for them? That's not fair at all.

Just blech. No.

ETA: I would be happy to participate in something like this, but not if asked by the recipient.

Peaseblossom55 · May 2014

Now I just want Dominoes pizza at midnight.....sigh

Cookie Pusher · May 2014

Peaseblossom55 said:

Now I just want Dominoes pizza at midnight.....sigh

Bite your tongue, @Peaseblossom55! You live in NJ. There are a million and one pizzerias that are infinitely better than Dominoes. Pretty much every one in/near college towns are still open right now, too!

KGold80 · May 2014

Screw pizza. Give me Thai food. But if that isn't an option...pizza.

lyndausvi · May 2014

Our really good friends who live in another city had a baby recently. We went them a $100 GC to Peapod. Its an online grocery delivery service. They were so excited at the gift.

We did it because we wanted to, not because it was asked of us. I knew for a fact the new mom was making freezer meals before giving birth. Plus her mom was coming for 2 months. They really didn't need meals. We figured the everyone would benefit from groceries delivered right to their home.

Hosting your own meal train?

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