Outdoor Weddings

Tried asking this on Yahoo Answers.. Bad Idea!

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Re: Tried asking this on Yahoo Answers.. Bad Idea!

  • OP - Here it is, perfectly laid out.  Give it a read and then stop saying how it's all about you and your FI.  Cause it's not.

     

    http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/995381/cash-bars-everything-you-need-to-know-in-one-place/p1

  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    OP, you got some good advice and nobody was really that snarky. If your budget is $10-15k, it is totally possible to not only serve food but alcohol too (which you don't have to do). In fact, it can be done pretty easily. 

    The TK budgeter is rather daunting and not that helpful so it's better to make your own spreadsheet. Start with fixed costs like venue, officiant, license, etc and go from there. I have about the same budget and slightly fewer guests and we shouldn't have a problem having dinner for about $30/pp and an open bar. It is definitely possible to get catering and alcohol for even cheaper. 

    I was also considering doing a late night hors d'ourves reception, but in your case I don't think it's the best idea since you'll have travelers (is it on a Sat? It's better on a Sat as opposed to a Friday where people really won't have time to stop for food). Moving it up is a good idea, but moving it up to dinnertime is not. An afternoon reception with the right wording on the invite is completely acceptable. Nighttime might be a bit annoying for guests, but it's okayish. Right at dinnertime, not so much. 

    I don't get quite as whipped up about cash bars as most, but I really don't see the reason to have one when you have a relatively high budget, especially if you end up not serving dinner. Or have a dry reception if you really want to save money, but I'm confused as to why you need to. I think you need to have a serious look at your budget. 
    image
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    What on earth are you spending your money on with a $15,000 bduget that you can only afford cheap food and no alcohol?! I'm baffled.
    FiancBGlitterWitch22
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    I wanted to add a little thing I learned, since it sounds like OP is brand new to the wedding process- open bar isn't as expensive as you think it is. I was against having an open bar because I assumed they charged per drink and at bar prices, so the prospect of getting a bill for whatever it was people drank after the fact kind of terrified me. So I felt sure that I needed to do partial cash or something.

    Well another knottie pointed out what I've found to be true at most venues- most places charge a per hour amount for open bar, which is much less daunting. It's like $14/pp for the first hour, $18 for two hours, $20 for 3 hours, etc. 

    So let's say you pick a place like what I did and spend $30/pp on food, another $4/pp on cake, and $20 for 3 hours of open bar. That is $54/pp, or $8750, which is up there but very much within the higher end of your budget. OR you could reasonably get food down to like $18/pp, do cheaper desserts so total food like $3500 and bring your own alcohol (Three buck chuck and kegs for the win!) for much less, probably another $700 or so. 

    I kinda fail to see the problem here. Unless you are simply against spending anything on your guests, in which case you might as well just blow the money on yourselves and go get married in Hawaii or something (which we totes considered, but ruled out since we want guests but that means we need to host them too). 
    image
    theartistformerlyknownascupcait927
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    If I want a cashbar, I'm going to have a cash bar. I know this is petty and immature of me but I'm very angry right now about people telling me that a cash bar is rude. I don't know if you guys come from wealthy families or dirt poor families like me, but I really don't care if two people get angry because I want them to pay for their own beer and liquor and I'm not going to have a drop. This is about me and my fiancee, I'm not throwing a party for my family to get smashed at. Like I posted a long time ago, if they want it. They will buy it. 

    What the hell is wrong with fast food? If they don't want it, they won't eat it. I just don't feel like paying $20 per person for something they won't eat. I did calculations, by doing subway and pizza hut it's $9 a person and its food my family likes.

    I've said my peace, and now I'm deactivating my account.


    For some of you who gave me helpful advice and not a remark that is rude, thank you. For everyone else, piss off. 
    $15k is not chump change.....plenty of girls here have planned weddings on MUCH less.  You can plan a lovely wedding that doesn't involve fast food.  Go ahead if you want.....but doesn't your wedding deserve better than Pizza Hut, especially with a decent budget??  I'd really like to know where the 15k budget is being allocated to.

    And cash bars....hell no.  If you can't afford it, that's fine....then don't offer any alcoholic beverages.  Just don't blame it on your guests not being able to handle their liquor or their long drive home.  
    PrettyGirlLostoffthemarket915cupcait927
  • If I want a cashbar, I'm going to have a cash bar. I know this is petty and immature of me but I'm very angry right now about people telling me that a cash bar is rude. I don't know if you guys come from wealthy families or dirt poor families like me, but I really don't care if two people get angry because I want them to pay for their own beer and liquor and I'm not going to have a drop. This is about me and my fiancee, I'm not throwing a party for my family to get smashed at. Like I posted a long time ago, if they want it. They will buy it. 


    What the hell is wrong with fast food? If they don't want it, they won't eat it. I just don't feel like paying $20 per person for something they won't eat. I did calculations, by doing subway and pizza hut it's $9 a person and its food my family likes.

    I've said my peace, and now I'm deactivating my account.


    For some of you who gave me helpful advice and not a remark that is rude, thank you. For everyone else, piss off. 
    I don't drink and neither does my fiancé. He did not want to have alcohol at all at the wedding, but I feel it would make our guests have more fun. We don't have the money for a large open bar, so we found another option. There is a company that allows people to rent what I have been calling an alcoholic slush machine. It's way cheaper than other options I looked at, but my guests still won't have to pay for their drinks. We are debating only putting alcohol in one side and having the other side be nonalcoholic.
  • Oh and my budget is well under $10,000. We are paying for things as we go, but we do not expect to go over $7,500. And that's IF we stretch our budget to it's limits. Right now we are looking at staying under $6,000. I understand being careful with your money.
  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2014
    OP, I am also from Ontario and there are tons of options that will work with the budget you have. Does your budget include everything like attire, decor, ceremony, rings, etc.?

    ETA: reading fail. Sorry OP, I see only your officiant is from Ontario.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • You should spend at least 50% of your budget on food and the things that go with it (venue, tables and chairs, waitstaff, etc.). I got married outside NYC on your budget and we served a plated meal with table side ordering and top shelf open bar for over 100 people for 5 hours. The idea that you can't afford anything other than chips and dip is absurd. I promise you that if you waltz in wearing a $5,000 gown while your guests are paying $7 for a glass of merlot you are going to have a lot of unhappy friends and family. Rethink your priorities.
    image
    FiancBPrettyGirlLostAprilH81
  • @bkepperly1993 - This thread has gotten out of control and I'm on your side. While I understand and agree to an extent what everyone else is saying, to another extent it is your wedding, but also you do need to consider your guests.

    1) Start a budget, and prioritize what is important, with $10k you can do a lot, but not if you want a $3k dress

    2) Understand that what many people say you 'must' have are guidelines of tradition/"the standard wedding" - if every wedding you've been to had a cash bar, I doubt anyone in your family will think twice about that. If you've decided for no alcohol that's your choice too but if you worry your guests aren't likely to have fun w/o some libations you might want to consider that. To be honest in your situation, I'd get a few tubs of ice, and galvanized buckets, and grab $200-300 worth of beer and wine, no hard liquor. Set a table up with some bottle openers, cork screws and glasses and allow your guests to pour their own beverages - make sure your venue is OK with no bartender.

    3) I think your concept of having a tent w/a projector and a movie for kids is great- You're taking your family (who has a lot of kids) into account on this one, can you pay 2 teenagers in the family to supervise the movie watching? Maybe bring a microwave plug it in somewhere discreet and have popcorn for the kids. While traditionally you don't have to account for your guests kids, if you have family with that many kids, it's a very nice gesture, especially if you don't think some will stay home/want to pay for babysitters/or if you want the kids present

    4) Food- if you have a night/evening wedding and you only want to do a dessert bar that's cool, but the diabetes thing, try thinking out of the box too: crockpot with fondue apples/veggies, cheesecakes can be very low sugar, fruit with yogurt dips, dark chocolate samplings, etc.  If you want to consider a earlier wedding w/dinner-ish, look into some local restaurants: my bestfriend got a sweet deal on her 130 person wedding (in CA) she got a Mexican restaurant to bring out a grill, they served up some killer build you own tacos (3 kinds of meats) for $1500 - and everything was cooked on site. They did use paper plates, and plastic utensils; but all in the guests didn't notice/or were bothered by this. Another one of my friends rented all the sterno/warming trays, and had a huge food making extravaganza at her house the day before the wedding, if your inclined you could do something like that with build your own baked potatoes, store bought tubs of pasta salad, salad, warmed up rolls, fruit salad and have a buddy bbq on site...depends on your style- you can figure it out though!

    Don't let this thread bum you down, just spend some time looking around at budgets, and build yours, then contact lots of places to see what you can do for that price; and think creatively! My guideline has been "do I like it?" "would I be ok with that at someones wedding" and "will my guests be comfortable and happy with this?"
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I, for one, would LOVEPizza Hut at a wedding! I think it's tasty and fun.

    That being said, you should get it because it's what you want, not because it's cheap.

    I guess I just doing see the point in thinking "I'm going to invite all of these people that I care about to be a part of an intimate part of my life, but it's gotta be cheap!" I mean, shouldn't you be happy to provide your loved ones with wonderful things? Do you really want to look back and think "I'm really happy we cut corners where we didn't have to?"
    MollyandD
  • If I want a cashbar, I'm going to have a cash bar. I know this is petty and immature of me but I'm very angry right now about people telling me that a cash bar is rude. I don't know if you guys come from wealthy families or dirt poor families like me, but I really don't care if two people get angry because I want them to pay for their own beer and liquor and I'm not going to have a drop. This is about me and my fiancee, I'm not throwing a party for my family to get smashed at. Like I posted a long time ago, if they want it. They will buy it. 

    What the hell is wrong with fast food? If they don't want it, they won't eat it. I just don't feel like paying $20 per person for something they won't eat. I did calculations, by doing subway and pizza hut it's $9 a person and its food my family likes.

    I've said my peace, and now I'm deactivating my account.


    For some of you who gave me helpful advice and not a remark that is rude, thank you. For everyone else, piss off. 

    **STUCK IN BOX**

    I highly suggest you set a budget first, then your guest list, then your venue - then everything else. This helpful advice was given to me on here and it has made things so much more simple! If we can't afford it, we won't do it - easy!

    Also, if you two don't drink, it's not necessary to host alcohol at the reception. You can provide soda, juice, water, lemonade, there are many alternatives. Just understand that this means people might leave earlier. Cash bars, however, still cost money and are rude. Your are hosting your guests at your wedding reception, so they shouldn't have to pay. It would be like me inviting you to my house for dinner and drinks, and me asking you, "You bought wine on the way over here, right?"


  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    lyndausvi said:
    As for a venue, thinking of a church. But that brings up another problem. Neither of us belong to a church. We believe in God, though. I love the beauty of Catholic churches, but I don't know how that works. If anyone can suggest types of churches I can look for that don't mind if we don't go to church. 
    Personally speaking I get offended if people use a church just for it's beauty.   IDK, it really bothers me when people who do not belong to a church go church shopping for their wedding.  It's disrespectful to me.  Now if you are say a practicing Lutheran and are looking for a Lutheran church in a different city, then I'm okay. 
    I'm a non-religious person and I feel exactly the same way. If you aren't religious, don't just get married in a church to get married in a church. It's disrespectful. 
  • I would like to add my two cents into this convo, which I know will be ripped to shreds just like every other time I have posted on TK. I'm not saying bkepperly1993 is right or wrong or any of the responses are incorrect but I REALLY want to clarify something. Many weddings in the Plains states (I also live in KS) host cash bar weddings. Yes, it is rude, I'm well aware. Am I having one? No. But it is part of our region and not that out of the ordinary, much like we don't understand everyone's need for seating charts or cocktail hours, neither of which I have ever seen in the many weddings I have been to. I know someone will rip this statement apart but that's my two cents.
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