Wedding Etiquette Forum

Girl who shares my name and date

So in searching my registry on Macy's I found a girl in the next state over who shares my exact full name and wedding date. In googling her, I found her other four registries. She is registered for hundreds of items, including $80/piece wine glasses and a $27k Waterford mirror at Bloomingdales. Really hoping my friends and family all know my FI's name, because I'd be so embarrassed if they thought I was that gift grabby and snobby.
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Re: Girl who shares my name and date

  • Doesn't the registry include the wedding location (I didn't register with Macy's so I'm not sure how they do it, but our registry lists both our names and the city, state we said the wedding is taking place in.

    If nothing else, I would hope people figure out your FI's name when they receive an invitation.

    And it may not be snobby in her circle; you never know.


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  • Inkdancer said:


    emmyg65 said:

    You have no idea what her guest list looks like. Maybe her friends are super rich and she's having a huge wedding.

    Yes, but if @312Emily's family comes across the other registries, it may look gross and gift-grabby to them. I can only assume that 456Emily has items perfectly appropriate for her guests, but way out of budget for 312Emily's family.




    That's kind of my thinking. I don't think it will be an issue as we're mostly inviting people close to us but there's always one person who just doesn't pay attention. My mom's friends who are invited don't know FI and could have a brain fart. It would be so embarrassing for them to silently grumble about us being snotty or worse, think we're snotty, buy something anyway, send it directly and never get a thank you because it's with the wrong person. Improbable? Maybe. But I don't like the thought of it.
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  • Could you maybe shorten/change your first name to make it easier? I know on some registries you can, and would opt to do that JIC.
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  • PDKH said:
    Doesn't the registry include the wedding location (I didn't register with Macy's so I'm not sure how they do it, but our registry lists both our names and the city, state we said the wedding is taking place in.

    If nothing else, I would hope people figure out your FI's name when they receive an invitation.

    And it may not be snobby in her circle; you never know.


    Yes. Our Macy's registry listed our names, our wedding date, and our location.  

    Also, on the occasions I've searched for a friend's registry, if more than one name has popped up, I've always been extra-careful to double-check the bride's name AND the groom's name AND the wedding date. 

    I don't think people are just going to randomly click on the first name they see that matches; if they're savvy enough to be online shopping, they're savvy enough to check the details.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I usually use location as one of the filters, especially if my friend has a common name. I also know my friends and if something looks odd on their registries, I double check the information.
  • You have no idea what her guest list looks like. Maybe her friends are super rich and she's having a huge wedding.
    This is true, however I can understand the concern that OP's guests could mistakenly believe this is her. OP - is your FI's name there as well? That should help.

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  • You guys really wouldn't side-eye a 27 thousand dollar mirror! 

    The wine glasses and the hundreds or items are not an issue. But I can't get over that mirror.
    I would if I knew the person and knew it was insane compared to their guest list.  

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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited May 2014
    You guys really wouldn't side-eye a 27 thousand dollar mirror! 

    The wine glasses and the hundreds or items are not an issue. But I can't get over that mirror.
    I would probably side-eye that, but to give the benefit of the doubt, some stores give you extra perks if you register for items totaling over a certain dollar amount.  (Actually, I know Bloomie's does this because I have a Bloomie's registry).  So maybe they just threw that on there for that reason, and aren't thinking anyone will actually buy it.
  • This is like my cousins registry (although it is likely appropriate for the majority of her guests) a wine glass is $150.... ugh I have no idea what to get her!
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  • emmyg65 said:

    You have no idea what her guest list looks like. Maybe her friends are super rich and she's having a huge wedding.

    This is true, however I can understand the concern that OP's guests could mistakenly believe this is her. OP - is your FI's name there as well? That should help.
    All set there. Just a bit nervous about people on my side (mom's friends haven't met him) who might forget him and decide the other name sounds right and omg.... Mr. and Mrs. 312 have raised a bit of a brat! Someone making a mistake could just change their perceptions of us and it would be a bummer. Even more so if it makes it into the rumor mill.
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  • 312Emily said:
    You have no idea what her guest list looks like. Maybe her friends are super rich and she's having a huge wedding.
    This is true, however I can understand the concern that OP's guests could mistakenly believe this is her. OP - is your FI's name there as well? That should help.
    All set there. Just a bit nervous about people on my side (mom's friends haven't met him) who might forget him and decide the other name sounds right and omg.... Mr. and Mrs. 312 have raised a bit of a brat! Someone making a mistake could just change their perceptions of us and it would be a bummer. Even more so if it makes it into the rumor mill.
    Honestly...there's nothing you can do. Give your mom the heads up and she can spread it among her friends that there is a similar name bride at the same place you registered. But otherwise, don't fret. You cannot stalk this person, figure out her email, and ask her to change her registry. That is crazy pants behavior. Don't be a crazy pants. 
  • MagicInk said:


    312Emily said:

    emmyg65 said:

    You have no idea what her guest list looks like. Maybe her friends are super rich and she's having a huge wedding.

    This is true, however I can understand the concern that OP's guests could mistakenly believe this is her. OP - is your FI's name there as well? That should help.
    All set there. Just a bit nervous about people on my side (mom's friends haven't met him) who might forget him and decide the other name sounds right and omg.... Mr. and Mrs. 312 have raised a bit of a brat! Someone making a mistake could just change their perceptions of us and it would be a bummer. Even more so if it makes it into the rumor mill.

    Honestly...there's nothing you can do. Give your mom the heads up and she can spread it among her friends that there is a similar name bride at the same place you registered. But otherwise, don't fret. You cannot stalk this person, figure out her email, and ask her to change her registry. That is crazy pants behavior. Don't be a crazy pants. 

    That would be. I agree. But I'm totally side eyeing that mirror.
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  • kasmith1 said:
    If I'm paying $44k for a mirror, it damn for sure better not take 73 days to ship. Hell, it better not ship, it better teleport to my house and onto my wall.
    I imagine that they don't have a lot of inventory of $44k mirrors sitting around in a warehouse.  They probably make them as they are ordered, hence the lag time.
  • btw, how much money does one need to make that they think a 44, 000 mirror is normal...and its butt ugly btw,

    LOL



  • I don't think people are just going to randomly click on the first name they see that matches; if they're savvy enough to be online shopping, they're savvy enough to check the details.

    I used to work for a major store doing mainly registries, and you have NO IDEA how often people would just choose the name at the top of the list they recognized and not look at anything else about it.  I'm serious, it almost go to be a serious problem at one point. People were either talking, or on their phone, or in a hurry, or just plain not paying attention. It didn't matter if the FI's name was different, they were in a different city or state, different wedding date...people just plain didn't read. We were always berated for not 'making sure' the customers had the right Jane Smith or John Jones, even though the kiosk was self serve and we had nothing to do with it until it was time to ring them up.

    I love you guys, but sometimes you give other people way too much credit.


    Further evidence Darwin was wrong. *sigh*
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Don't worry about it. Your guests know what state you live in.
    And ditto on not knowing her guest list.
  • 312Emily312Emily member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2014

    I don't think people are just going to randomly click on the first name they see that matches; if they're savvy enough to be online shopping, they're savvy enough to check the details.
    I used to work for a major store doing mainly registries, and you have NO IDEA how often people would just choose the name at the top of the list they recognized and not look at anything else about it.  I'm serious, it almost go to be a serious problem at one point. People were either talking, or on their phone, or in a hurry, or just plain not paying attention. It didn't matter if the FI's name was different, they were in a different city or state, different wedding date...people just plain didn't read. We were always berated for not 'making sure' the customers had the right Jane Smith or John Jones, even though the kiosk was self serve and we had nothing to do with it until it was time to ring them up.

    I love you guys, but sometimes you give other people way too much credit.
    Well, poop. This worries me. The last thing I need is guests buying something small off that registry and sending it to her, all the while thinking I'm a jerk for wanting a $2300 Henckels knife set or an $800 poker set. And then never getting thanked, because they sent a gift to a stranger.  Can you imagine how much you'd hate someone who registered for over $50k of home goods, buying something really small but affordable off their registry to be nice, and never being thanked? I'd personally cut ties with them.  And if this happens, my chances of knowing are not good.  And before, I thought it was more amusing than upsetting, but if what you say is true, we could end up inadvertently offending someone just because I share a name and wedding date with someone.  That's really upsetting.
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  • Well, OK...my shpiel didn't help you any OP, did it? I'm sorry. 

    My best advice is to try to do something that sets you and your FI apart from the other couple. Do you have nicknames you can include?  Do all the people you are inviting know both of your names really well, or can you call attention to them in some way?  Or a code word or phrase that you can insert in your name or address field?  For shower invitations where it's OK to include registry info, you can include a note to be careful which couple's registry gets pulled, but that won't work for after the shower. You and your family can also warn people if they ask about registries. Even just a blurb in the notes field or another field that states you 'are not The Other Couple' can help. Also check with the registry consultants at the stores to see if they have any new ideas on how to do this. Chances are things have changed in the 15 years since I've done the registry consultant bit.
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