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Wedding Etiquette Forum
tigersgirlgv
member
Cancelled Wedding- Bridesmaids Dresses
Hi Ladies,
I had a dream last night (clearly the product of being in 4 weddings over the course of 18 months) that one of my dear friends had to cancel her wedding. Have no fear, she had already found someone new and was still getting married. 
However, they were not doing a Disney theme anymore and so my Belle-inspired bridesmaid dress was no longer going to work. In the dream I was really annoyed that I was going to have to buy a new BM dress and have one hang in my closet never worn.
However, they were not doing a Disney theme anymore and so my Belle-inspired bridesmaid dress was no longer going to work. In the dream I was really annoyed that I was going to have to buy a new BM dress and have one hang in my closet never worn.It got me thinking, if a wedding gets cancelled, should the bride/groom re-fund the wedding party for their attire expenses? Obviously if this happened to one of my friends, that would not be the first question I would ask, but I was curious. What does The Knot think?
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Re: Cancelled Wedding- Bridesmaids Dresses
Unless maybe my friend has done something heinous and completely unforgiveable and it was costing us our friendship. Then I very well might make a stink about it. But maybe not. Depends.
I would say yes. I was engaged once before and the wedding ended 5 months prior. Luckily, I knew the owner of the shop we got the dresses through (was actually a mom of one of my bm's) and she gave me back all the money my bm's paid (including deposits) except for my ex's troll of a sister that apparently was a heinous bitch to my friend's mom. I didn't bother to fight for that one.
Yep, totally this. And now I really want a Belle dress!
Yep, totally this. And now I really want a Belle dress!
My favorite is Elsa's snow queen dress from Frozen.
I put the deposit down on the BM dresses so they could all be ordered at once without any budget hassles. If something happened between now and when they come in, the only person who will be out any money for BM attire is me.
I was BM in a wedding about 6 years ago that got cancelled 2 weeks before the wedding date. So, it was close enough that BM dress was in my possession and already altered. It was a simple long black satin, strapless, A-line gown. We knew bride wouldn't be able to repay anyone for dresses and she was going through enough hardship that nobody would have asked her to. But, she said that she will likely use the same dresses in the future whenever she does get married, so we could still use them then and the money wouldn't be wasted. So, I've had that dress sitting in the back of my closet for 6 years, never worn.
Now jump ahead 6 years and she's getting married this summer. And... she chose a different BM dress. It's still long black satin, but now it has illusion halter instead of strapless. Very similar to previous dress, but just different enough. Luckily on this one I just need to have it hemmed, so alterations are cheaper. Most of her BM's are same, but not all, and they don't make the exact dress style anymore (photo below is similar though), so I kind of understand. If it were me, I would just do non-matching, long black satin gowns, but she really wants everyone to match. I am now getting the old one shortened to mid-calf and plan to wear for formal night on an upcoming cruise, so I'll get to wear it at least once.
But, if wedding gets cancelled, if you can afford to pay wedding party back for any expenses, it would definitely be a good thing to do. But, depending on circumstances, your best friends/family may be somewhat understanding if that isn't an option.
Now, I was asked not to be in a wedding once after I had already put a $60 deposit on a dress. Another BM didn't like me so the bride kicked me out. So, the bride kicked me out because one of her other friends was an asshole and NEVER offered to refund the deposit I put on the dress. As you can imagine, I did not attend her wedding and we are no longer friends.
That is obviously a different situation than a canceled wedding, but I bring it up because there are definitely situations in which I think the bride is responsible for reimbursing BM expenses.
Edited to fix spelling mistake