Fallen Soldier Table at Wedding

Re: Fallen Soldier Table at Wedding

• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2014

  Cookie Pusher said:

  FI and I have each lost a parent. We wanted to pay a subtle tribute to them. So in the area where the escort cards will be, I created 2 small flower arrangements. No signs, no labels, nothing. Just two small arrangements that will go on the mantle of the fireplace in front of the table. Tributes or acknowledgements don't need to be big to be heartfelt.

  I love this idea.  It is beautiful but subtle.

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• Weesh member

  

  May 2014

  Thank you very much for your input.  We will be talking more about the idea.

  
  

  Right now, he doesn't want the ceremony.  Only the full table, with a card on the side explaining the symbolism of the items.  He doesn't want it announced, or any other attention drawn to the table.

  
  

  I should have been clearer that he wants it in the room to the right of the sweetheart table, but basically in the corner that is not near the cake, card box, etc.  Basically, the only people who would see it are people who consciously made a point to go over to it.  It's not near a door in or out of the room, or near the bar area.  

  
  

  So far, there is only one other military guy who was deployed with my fiance who might be coming--we haven't received his RSVP yet.  His groomsmen is a military buddy from the Air Force who just returned from a deployment, and he likes the idea of the table.

  
  

  Again, we haven't decided if it will be done.  I'm still on the fence.  I'm beyond appreciative, grateful, and very thankful for my fiance, his service, and the service of so many others who gave their lives and freedom so that we can have ours.  I'm just not sure if it's the right place.  I really do appreciate all of your input, and I'm not trying to give you excuses as to why I'm so special that I should do it because it's our day and we can do what we want.  I've done a lot to make sure my guests are comfortable, and I don't want to do something like this that would hurt or upset anyone.

  
  

  And yes, we do honor him at home and when we are out--the guys will get an empty beer glass, or something similar to keep on the table.  To them, it's not morbid, but a way to keep their friend's memory alive through the their own lives, basically acknowledging that he's with them.  He wears a bracelet on a daily basis, so he will be wearing that when we get married.  My fiance was the one to find him and carry his body (honestly, the pieces of it) out, so I'm trying to be extremely cautious of his feelings.  For him to want this isn't surprising now that I think about it, but something I hadn't thought of.

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  Weesh said:

  Thank you very much for your input.  We will be talking more about the idea.

  
  

  Right now, he doesn't want the ceremony.  Only the full table, with a card on the side explaining the symbolism of the items.  He doesn't want it announced, or any other attention drawn to the table.

  
  

  I should have been clearer that he wants it in the room to the right of the sweetheart table, but basically in the corner that is not near the cake, card box, etc.  Basically, the only people who would see it are people who consciously made a point to go over to it.  It's not near a door in or out of the room, or near the bar area.  

  
  

  So far, there is only one other military guy who was deployed with my fiance who might be coming--we haven't received his RSVP yet.  His groomsmen is a military buddy from the Air Force who just returned from a deployment, and he likes the idea of the table.

  
  

  Again, we haven't decided if it will be done.  I'm still on the fence.  I'm beyond appreciative, grateful, and very thankful for my fiance, his service, and the service of so many others who gave their lives and freedom so that we can have ours.  I'm just not sure if it's the right place.  I really do appreciate all of your input, and I'm not trying to give you excuses as to why I'm so special that I should do it because it's our day and we can do what we want.  I've done a lot to make sure my guests are comfortable, and I don't want to do something like this that would hurt or upset anyone.

  
  

  And yes, we do honor him at home and when we are out--the guys will get an empty beer glass, or something similar to keep on the table.  To them, it's not morbid, but a way to keep their friend's memory alive through the their own lives, basically acknowledging that he's with them.  He wears a bracelet on a daily basis, so he will be wearing that when we get married.  My fiance was the one to find him and carry his body (honestly, the pieces of it) out, so I'm trying to be extremely cautious of his feelings.  For him to want this isn't surprising now that I think about it, but something I hadn't thought of.

  To the bolded: If he doesn't want more attention drawn to the table, it should be repositioned.  Its position right next to you, and the fact that it's a full table, is a significant part of what makes it come off as morbid, because it will call a lot of attention to itself even without an announcement.
  
  
  

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