It's Thanks to you all

Drewsgirl31 · May 2014

I never knew PPD's were considered a horrendous thing, and it seems in most cases vow renewals are too.

That said, since joining and seeing peoples real thoughts on certain aspects of them, I am getting really annoyed that family/friends keep calling our vow renewal a wedding!! Especially when it's on FB and the random comment shows up, "but I thought she was already marked." I get to butt in and correct them and tell them to knock it off again.

I've had more than one person ask about bachelorette/bachelor parties, registries and showers and they always get offended when I tell them no, we aren't having them, don't need anything from them.

That said, aside from the lying that tends to happen with PPD's or not being properly hosted, causes you to side eye these events? I mean the way I see it, we're celebrating a small milestone (5 years) but it's following a miscarriage and a separation that came very close to divorce. I wasn't on the boards before we started planning so I made 2 "bad decisions", I bought a wedding dress, and we're having a bridal party. The bridal party came about when our sister and brother and closest friends that went through hell and back with us told us they were offended we hadn't asked them to stand with us. Other than that it will be a very quick ceremony, no gaps, lots of food, cake, drinks, alcohol and dancing.

I guess my real question in that last paragraph would be, why do people get upset or side eye a party that is a free meal, drinks and a night out?

JCbride2015 · May 2014

I would not side eye your vow renewal except the wedding party and (maybe) the dress if it's really huge and poofy. I don't mind a simple white gown for a vow renewal. You've waited several years, you've been through some heavy stuff, and you are reaffirming your commitment. I would come, be happy, and support you. In that case it's a reason for a big party.

I would definitely side-eye a vow renewal if it seemed the intention was to have the big fancy wedding the couple didn't have the first time around for whatever reason. So if there are too many trapping of a full-blown wedding, like the huge dress, wedding party, registries, showers, etc. it seems like the couple is trying to get a second bite at the apple.

Drewsgirl31 · May 2014

We thought about asking the party to step down when we seen it would be side eyed but then the posts about asking members to step down seemed just as bad. I figured I could deal with a few eye rolls if that was my only major party foul lol. We're not doing a sand/candle/etc at the ceremony, no you may kiss the bride, or presenting. At the party we will have a dance but no other spot light dances, no garter/bouquet toss, we are sitting at our own table with our kids and the party will be sat with their families and other friends there. We will cut a cake but won't make it a spotlight or anything like that.

This is my dress

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

I think you're ok. People know what they're coming to. I would not have a traditional bridal party processional; just have them waiting at the front when everything gets started and it'll look less weird. And let them wear normal clothes. You're reaffirming your vows, and that's wonderful. You're not faking anything to get a better do-over than the original.

Sugargirl1019 · May 2014

Congrats on reaffirming your vows to each other after some tough times! I wouldn't side eye your vote renewal at all!

Now if you were married for 1 year at the courthouse and were having a "vow renewal" with a big white dress, bridal party, first dance, etc. then we'll start side eyeing.

It's Thanks to you all

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