I've seen some things said and I feel that they should be addressed.
1. Women helping women: this has fuck all to do with everyone agreeing with you and patting you on the back no matter your stupid idea. You may have a bad idea. Most humans do. When you ask for other human's opinions, they'll probably point out the bad idea. That is actually helpful. There are two types of people in this world, the kind that will tell you you've got spinach in your teeth and the kind that won't. We aim to be the former not the latter. And that is helpful.
2. Bullying/Bullies: being bullied is a terrible horrible experience. Trust me, I've been there. But being told that having a gap/cash bar/honeyfund is rude is not bullying. Being told that someone doesn't like something you're doing, isn't bullying. It's simply etiquette and/or a difference of opinion. Some people will not have the YMCA played at their wedding. They hate it. I will totally have it played at my wedding and will lead everyone in the dance. I love. They are not bullying me simply because they don't like it.
3. Bashing: very similar to bullying, but generally towards a single idea. For instance, a cash bar. Telling you that having a cash bar is rude is not bashing. It is rude. I'm wearing a red dress. If someone said "Wearing a dress is terrible and it's disgusting you're doing that" that would be bashing. Because there is nothing rude about wearing a red dress. Nontraditional, yes, but not rude.
4. It'd rude to tell me I'm rude: what the fuck? That hurts my head to even type it. Look, sometime something is rude. You're asking about it here to find out if it's rude. If we tell you it's rude, that's feedback, not rudeness.
5. I thought this was about lovingly supporting me: I dunno what the fuck gave you that idea. We're supportive. Of good ideas. Not shitty ones. Not rude ones.
6. This is my special day!: No it's not. The Wedding Industrial Complex is lying to you. This is not a day where you get to do whatever the fuck you want without concesquences. You are now a grown up and those days no longer exist.
7. I'm being offbeat!: No you aren't. You're being rude. That's not offbeat/aternative/ect. I'm having the guys in my wedding wear red shirts. That'd odd and offbeat (which I did not know until I came to TK). It's not rude.
8: You're all so mean!!!: You sound like a 5 year old, stop it. If someone says something to you that is actually offensive, call them on it. If you're just bad no one is kissing your ass, grow up.
9. Everyone I know is fine with it: Everyone you know is too nice to tell you it's a bad idea. That's what asking strangers on the internet is actually helpful, we're going to be more honest with you then your best friend is because we aren't your best friend.
10. We don't need stuff so we can ask for someone to fund our honeymoon: No one needs stuff. Not really. Food, shelter, clothing, those are needs. No one needs a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. No one needs to be told money makes a great gift. That isn't new information. You'll probably get cash anyways. But asking for it is rude. Also, you aren't the only people to be together for a long time and set up a household before getting married. This is no longer a new thing. It's actually the norm now. Forgo any kind of registry and decline shower invites. If people ask (IF IF THEY ASK) tell them "We don't need anything specific but we are saving up for a trip to the moon" and they'll get the hint that cash would be kick ass.
I feel better now that I got that all out. Less ragey.