Do you bring your ID when you go to a wedding?

CrazyCatLady3 · May 2014

Argh, okay so we are having some family drama on FI's side (which I may post more fully about in another thread when I get time). We are trying to prevent an estranged (and potentially violent, this is not just a situation to suck up) family member from showing up to the wedding. Luckily our venue actually requires security so it will be there and I don't have to go find security to hire now. I am telling our DOC to make sure security knows that no one is allowed into the venue unless their name is on the guest list. But the only way to enforce that is if they show ID. But now I'm concerned some people may not bring their ID? They will not need their wallets for anything at our wedding and it is in a NYC venue where most people will not drive. Do I need to go and tell all our guests to make sure they bring their ID? I can put it on the website but not sure many people are still checking that since invites went out a while ago...

JCbride2015 · May 2014

I bring my ID everywhere I go, except maybe running around the neighborhood. In case I get carded, or I'm hurt and am brought to the hospital, or whatever. I always have it.

It can't hurt to also put this on your website, but I wouldn't sweat it. And if anybody does forget their ID, can you leave instructions with security to ask you/fi/parents/siblings to "clear" the person? Give some limited list of people who are allowed to confirm identities.

smalfrie19 · May 2014

Also you can provide a photo of the unwanted person you are worried about to all the security personnel

beethery · May 2014

Have invitations gone out already? If not, maybe get some wristbands?

WinstonsGirl · May 2014

I never go anywhere without ID. Seconded photos to security, or having designated people who can help screen if necessary

phira · May 2014

I usually bring ID with me when I go to weddings. I'm either drinking or I'm driving, so I need my license with me. I do not think it's unreasonable to expect that guests will have ID with them.

In terms of how to address your specific situation, I'd actually recommend not going with, "Everyone needs to show ID at the front door," and instead going with, "Here are photos of people who are likely to crash." This is what we're planning on doing.

daria24 · May 2014

I rarely drive, and I still bring my ID with me everywhere, weddings included. You never know when you will get randomly carded, or when a cashier will ask to see ID to verify the name on your credit card.

But I would still give security photos of the people you are worried about.

LadyMillil · May 2014

I bring my ID and credit or debit card with me everywhere, even when going to weddings with an open bar. I always like to be prepared in case of emergency. Former Girl Guide here

hellohkb · May 2014

I always forget my ID and don't typically think to bring it at a wedding. I would spread the word about it. I would also consider giving security a picture of the unwanted person.

KytchynWitche · May 2014

I also carry my ID everywhere with me, but I don't remember having it with me at either my sister's wedding or my best friend's. I would say spread the word, put it on your website if you have one, etc

That said, if you give security a recent picture of the person you want to exclude, and they're properly briefed, that's all that should be necessary.

If this person is mentally unstable or you think they're crafty enough to try and get in with the vendors, then also make sure that your vendors are updated on the situation as well so they can be on the look out for this person posing as a waiter/delivery guy etc.

PrincessOfHavoc · May 2014

Both DF and I carry our IDs. He drives, I sometimes drink a bit plus I'm always the one getting drinks for people. I work on my feet all day, so sitting, doing nothing is draining to me, then I get fidgety. Not only do I wiggle around like a toddler, because my family has awesome genes for flawless skin and slow to wrinkle, then I was taught moisturize, moisturize, moisturize, then taught to worship my non tan AND I have bangs, I look really young. I get carded for movies still.

KPBM89 · May 2014

I also always carry my ID. Even if I'm not driving, I always have it in case something happens or if we want to stop at grab some wine or what have you. I am just over 5' tall and I get carded at most places because I look young.

I ditto PPs: give security a photo of the unwanted person and update your website. Also I like the idea JCBride had to give them a limited list of people trusted to confirm identities.

SapphireCounselor · May 2014

JCbride2015 said:
I bring my ID everywhere I go, except maybe running around the neighborhood. In case I get carded, or I'm am brought to the hospital, or whatever. I always have it.

It can't hurt to also put this on your website, but I wouldn't sweat it. And if anybody does forget their ID, can you leave instructions with security to ask you/fi/parents/siblings to "clear" the person? Give some limited list of people who are allowed to confirm identities.

This...just have a back up plan where someone can confirm identities if need be and you will be fine. I always bring my id everywhere, especially to weddings in case I am carded.

climbingsingle · May 2014

I always bring my ID with me.

blabla89 · May 2014

I always carry my ID in a wallet phone case. Perhaps it would be simpler to give security a description and photo of the family member(s) who are not allowed in?

Also, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Family drama stinks. Sending you ALL the hugs.

cupcait927 · May 2014

I always, always have my ID with me. You never know when you'll need it. I also agree with PPs about providing photos if possible of the people you would like to keep out.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

I always carry my id - for the "hit by a bus" scenario and because I get carded pretty often.

larrygaga · May 2014

I think most people bring an ID everywhere. However, having everyone checked at the door is pretty annoying. Why not give the name and photo and other info of the specific person you don't want there to security? That's easier on eveeryone.

CrazyCatLady3 · May 2014

Thanks everyone. Yes unfortunately this person is mentally unstable. Several other family members have said they won't come to the wedding if he is there. I updated my website and am going to see about getting a pic. Also I am telling my DOC who to check with if someone needs to be confirmed.

wandajune6 · May 2014

I always bring my ID. My mom never brings an ID to weddings or dressy occasions- she hates dress purses and just has my dad stick a lipstick in his jacket pocket.

I'd go with giving the photo to security instead. If you have multiple photos, that's even better- sometimes it's hard to tell from just one facial expression.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

I also always carry ID for the 'what if' scenarios.

ElcaB · May 2014

I usually bring mine, but not always. Sometimes I'm not good at being a grownup.

pinkcow13 · May 2014

I used to be really bad with carrying my ID with me, but now I carry it everywhere. Funnily enough, especially at weddings. You just never know when you'll be stuck with a cash bar!

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Argh, okay so we are having some family drama on FI's side (which I may post more fully about in another thread when I get time). We are trying to prevent an estranged (and potentially violent, this is not just a situation to suck up) family member from showing up to the wedding. Luckily our venue actually requires security so it will be there and I don't have to go find security to hire now. I am telling our DOC to make sure security knows that no one is allowed into the venue unless their name is on the guest list. But the only way to enforce that is if they show ID. But now I'm concerned some people may not bring their ID? They will not need their wallets for anything at our wedding and it is in a NYC venue where most people will not drive. Do I need to go and tell all our guests to make sure they bring their ID? I can put it on the website but not sure many people are still checking that since invites went out a while ago...

I never go w/o my ID.

I continue to be carded at bars (yay!) and if I were to get into an accident and become incapacitated or killed, etc. I would want ppl to be able to ID me.

sarawifenow · May 2014

I, also, carry my ID everywhere. I really like @smalfrie19's idea of providing a picture to the venue.

phira · May 2014

I think that if you have multiple family members who have said they will not attend if Unwanted Person is at the wedding, then you definitely have people who will alert your venue/security if Unwanted Person shows up!

FiancB · May 2014

I do always bring mine- I still get carded a lot, and I've been to more than a few cash bars where it's more likely to be an issue. That said, I think you're better off putting security on high alert for this particular person than hassling everyone through security. Let some people know this is a concern and that they are to alert security if they do slip past.

lyndausvi · May 2014

I always carry my id. Never know when you might need it.

I'm in my 40's and still get carded. I wish it was because I look so young, but some places it's a policy to ask for ID regardless of your age. Heck I need ID just get spray paint at Lowes the other day. And Mucinex at the pharmacy.

Cookie Pusher · May 2014

I always carry ID with me, especially when I'm going anywhere that might be serving alcohol. I look really young, so I get asked for ID pretty often.

HobokensFury · May 2014

I always have my id with me. I woun't lie- getting id at the door of a wedding and making sure I was on the guest list would leave a very bad taste in my mouth about the couple.

larrygaga · May 2014

lyndausvi said:

I always carry my id. Never know when you might need it.

I'm in my 40's and still get carded. I wish it was because I look so young, but some places it's a policy to ask for ID regardless of your age. Heck I need ID just get spray paint at Lowes the other day. And Mucinex at the pharmacy.

You might live in a state where meth is a problem. Both of those are ingredients in meth, and some states limit how much you can buy per week/month. They are checking for smurfs.

Do you bring your ID when you go to a wedding?

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