NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

A FB acquaintance of mine is getting married around the middle of next month -- June 21.

TODAY, she changed all her social media accounts to her married name -- Bride FISurname. I noticed because she liked a photo of mine on Instagram and I didn't recognise the username (my IG is protected so only approved friends can see it.)

Her new IG handle is mrssusiejones. OK.

So then I look at her IG/FB accounts (I don't follow her on IG and I have her hidden on FB) and she's been wearing a knock-off kate spade 'mrs' necklace since Easter ('Look what the Easter Bunny brought me!' was the caption on that photo.)

Am I judgey or is this weird?

DH thinks they're already married and the wedding next month is a PPD. They got engaged around the same time we did, and it really bugged her that we got married first.

Because obviously it's a competition. (sarcasm)

phira · May 2014

I think it's super fucking weird. I'm judging along with you.

lyndausvi · May 2014

A google search of public records might answer your questions if it's a PPD.

Is this the girl who you have pay for your own meal? If yes, you might be a little judgey but based on past behavior it's to be expected.

misshart00 · May 2014

I think it's super awkward.

delujm0 · May 2014

i think it's pretty weird, an it would grate me a bit, but whatever. i got a "Mrs. FILastName" hoodie to wear at our brunch the day after the wedding (because i think it's funny), but i'm not wearing it around right now (nor will i probably wear it publically at all after the brunch). i can't even bring myself to make our honeymoon arrangements in my "new" name even though for hotels and tours it doesn't really matter. i just feel like it's bad luck.

I guess technically it would only be a pure PPD if she was hiding the fact that she was already legally married? but if she is in fact already married, at least she basically announced it before conning her family and friends into watching a fake re-enactment? :-)

SapphireCounselor · May 2014

It's wierd...she may just be overly excited and getting ahead of herself but even then it would be strange.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

I think it's strange to say the least. My friend's fiance (now wife) did that months before their wedding. It was made even more awkward (although friggin hilarious) when she posted a status about "Marrying XXX in 2 weeks" and someone asked if she was marrying her cousin. Her reply was an indignant "No I just changed it to see how it looked"....um what?

gothic_fairy60 · May 2014

I would be judgey too. I think it is inappropriate to say your a wife before you are. I really hate when guys call their gf "wifey". FI's friend is guilty of this and it drives me nuts!

SmileDamnit · May 2014

Can it not be both? I would judge that AND it's weird.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

Weird... but I wouldn't think it necessarily meant a PPD. Especially with the whole (often annoying) trend of people calling each other "wifey" or "hubby" when they're not.

beethery · May 2014

My cousin has had ~*MrS ____*~ as her text signature for like 3 years now. It's ridiculous. I have no idea if they still consider themselves engaged, and there are definitely no plans to marry in the future.

I'm not into that shit at all.

sofakingmad · May 2014

My XH's cousin basically did this. They got married in a JOP ceremony secretly, but she got sick of keeping a secret and then she randomly changed her name and her relationship status to married and this happened a couple months before the PPD.

smalfrie19 · May 2014

Yep its weird...really weird....:/

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

lyndausvi said:
A google search of public records might answer your questions if it's a PPD.

Is this the girl who you have pay for your own meal? If yes, you might be a little judgey but based on past behavior it's to be expected.

No, different friend. I have a lot of weird friends.

I searched our online public records and saw where they applied for a licence, but not where one was filed yet.

On the other hand, our county isn't known for its timeliness of updating things either. Our marriage licence was listed online in December, more than two months after our wedding.

DH and I aren't invited to this wedding -- and I didn't expect to be, because we're passing acquaintances -- so whether it's a PPD or not doesn't affect me/us, so I don't care.

DH, who knows her better than I do, says her family is SUPER religious and basically strong-armed the couple into having a religious wedding even though they're not religious under threat of her whole family boycotting the wedding. He thinks they did a JOP first and the religious ceremony is just for show.

Maggie0829 · May 2014

Super weird and I would be judging all of that too.

KGold80 · May 2014

Yeah, I'd be judging the shit out of that. It's weird.

climbingsingle · May 2014

I'm judging right along with you. It's weird.

tammym1001 · May 2014

I'm getting married on Saturday and I really want to change my name on Facebook, but I'm not going to and my wedding is only 2 days away. I think it's weird that she would change it so soon.

Marzipan13 · May 2014

Ditto - I'm judging, it's weird, AND immature. Like, stop. Your day will come. You just sit down and wait.

TheGrimReaper · May 2014

beethery said:

My cousin has had ~*MrS ____*~ as her text signature for like 3 years now. It's ridiculous. I have no idea if they still consider themselves engaged, and there are definitely no plans to marry in the future.

I'm not into that shit at all.

Is your cousin 14? I didn't know people still did text signatures, especially not ones with squigglies and ~*AlTeRnAtInG cApItAl LeTtErS.*~ Holy shit that was exhausting to type.

pinkcow13 · May 2014

Definitely weird. I have a friend who changed her FB name to her married name a few months ago. Her wedding is June 14th.

Another friend and her now husband were posting pictures on IG and FB "My husband and I on NYE!" "With my wife on NYE!" So I wrote on one of the pics "Omg you guys got married?! Congrats!!!!!" And she responded "Well, not yet, we will in April."

short+sassy · May 2014

Confession. One week before my wedding I was at the mall picking up my champagne flutes and there was a Costco table signing up memberships for the new store that would be opening 4 months later (first Costco in my state). I signed up with my soon-to-be new married name because I was in pre-wedding excitement and couldn't help myself, lol .

Even funnier, when I discovered after the wedding what a PITA it is to change my name legally, I still hadn't bothered by the time the store opened and I needed to get my membership card. Luckily, they had no issue with my bringing them my license and a copy of my marriage certificate.

Back to the OP. I read it more as she is excited to be getting married and is just seriously jumping the gun. A bit odd, but I could see it. I know I had some moments of insanity when I wanted to run out and buy all this monogrammed stuff and "Mrs" this and "Mrs" that...ie "Oh, I simply must have the custom hanger with Mrs DHname," AND then I came back to my senses. If I've rarely wanted/bought anything monogrammed in my life so far, why would I do it now? lol.

RebeccaFlower · May 2014

That is totally weird. I got a MRS shirt for Christmas that I didn't wear until October. Calm the fuck down.

I honestly can't stand when people say "the future Mrs. Whoever" like we get it (IRL, obviously not here).

VulgarGirl · May 2014

I've seen friends do that on my different social media. Actually one as soon as she got engaged. It bothered the crap out of me because no you are not HisLastName when you get engaged.

I will admit to sometimes saying FI is my wife. Even on here I've caught it and been like no, not yet. But it's just a slip up for me I swear. Mostly because we've been together forever and I keep thing "she's gonna be my wife! wife wife wife, she's gonna be my wife" then I go "Gonna be not is now!!" and fix it.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

And I totally get being excited. DH called me his 'almost-wife' for much of our engagement because he was so excited. I thought that was adorable.

I can be judgey so I wanted outside opinions on if this is weird or not. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

One of my friends actually refused to update her Facebook to her new last name until she had filed the marriage license and started the process to get her SS card. Because it wasn't official and she wasn't going to be doing things unofficially.

I just thought it was adorable. FI says as soon as the ring is on her hand she's Mrs. MagicInk and is changing everything. I also find that adorable.

beethery · May 2014

TheGrimReaper said:

beethery said:

My cousin has had ~*MrS ____*~ as her text signature for like 3 years now. It's ridiculous. I have no idea if they still consider themselves engaged, and there are definitely no plans to marry in the future.

I'm not into that shit at all.

Is your cousin 14? I didn't know people still did text signatures, especially not ones with squigglies and ~*AlTeRnAtInG cApItAl LeTtErS.*~ Holy shit that was exhausting to type.

Nope, she's 24 and has a 7mo with her shitty BF. Grown-ups! Yay! I am mimicking my signature gif about their situation right now.

misshart00 · May 2014

beethery said:

TheGrimReaper said:

beethery said:

My cousin has had ~*MrS ____*~ as her text signature for like 3 years now. It's ridiculous. I have no idea if they still consider themselves engaged, and there are definitely no plans to marry in the future.

I'm not into that shit at all.
Is your cousin 14? I didn't know people still did text signatures, especially not ones with squigglies and ~*AlTeRnAtInG cApItAl LeTtErS.*~ Holy shit that was exhausting to type.

Nope, she's 24 and has a 7mo with her shitty BF. Grown-ups! Yay! I am mimicking my signature gif about their situation right now.

Dang. I'm 24 and have a 7 month old. I can't imagine have ~*MrS.aNyThInG*~ on any signature.

Bubblegum5586 · May 2014

Very weird and annoying!

I also hate when people refer to their BF/FI as "hubby"

thisismynickname2 · May 2014

Marzipan13 said:

Ditto - I'm judging, it's weird, AND immature. Like, stop. Your day will come. You just sit down and wait.

Ditto.

beethery · May 2014

My bad, she's 25. Maybe when you hit 25 you'll have an IRRESISTIBLE URGE to do an alternating caps text signature.

When I was 25 I didn't have any kind of relationship, so I didn't get the altcaps symptoms.

NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

Re: NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

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