NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

Inkdancer · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

And I totally get being excited. DH called me his 'almost-wife' for much of our engagement because he was so excited. I thought that was adorable. I can be judgey so I wanted outside opinions on if this is weird or not. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.

FI calls me FutureWife. He also said he's gonna get me a shirt that says that, with a picture of a ray gun or something. I like to joke that I'm his wife from the Future and so I know everything. FUTUREWIFE KNOWS ALL.

beethery · May 2014

Inkdancer said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

And I totally get being excited. DH called me his 'almost-wife' for much of our engagement because he was so excited. I thought that was adorable. I can be judgey so I wanted outside opinions on if this is weird or not. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.

FI calls me FutureWife. He also said he's gonna get me a shirt that says that, with a picture of a ray gun or something. I like to joke that I'm his wife from the Future and so I know everything. FUTUREWIFE KNOWS ALL.

Get him to put THAT on a shirt!

Inkdancer · May 2014

Oh, and also I would be pretty judgy about this too. It's weird.

But then it is confession time. My FMIL got me a really cute mini-duffel bag for my birthday with my married monogram on it. Once I fix the monogram (she got my middle initial wrong courtesy of the adoption) I'm going to use it all the time even though we aren't married yet.

cupcait927 · May 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

Very weird and annoying!

I also hate when people refer to their BF/FI as "hubby"

Confession - I hate the word "hubby" in general. No matter how old the person saying it is, it just always sounds juvenile.

NYCBruin · May 2014

Super weird, I'm judging.

That said, I did "reserve" an email address with my married name a while back (we aren't getting married until the fall) because I have a super common Irish first name (and last name...there are tons of "me"s out there) and FI also has a very common Irish last name so I wanted to get the email address before someone else took it. But I don't use it yet because that would be weird.

phira · May 2014

beethery said:

Inkdancer said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

And I totally get being excited. DH called me his 'almost-wife' for much of our engagement because he was so excited. I thought that was adorable. I can be judgey so I wanted outside opinions on if this is weird or not. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.

FI calls me FutureWife. He also said he's gonna get me a shirt that says that, with a picture of a ray gun or something. I like to joke that I'm his wife from the Future and so I know everything. FUTUREWIFE KNOWS ALL.

Get him to put THAT on a shirt!

I second this idea.

@NYCBruin I'm not changing my last name, but if I were, I'd snag an email immediately (and, like you, wait to use it).

RebeccaFlower · May 2014

NYCBruin said:

Super weird, I'm judging.

That said, I did "reserve" an email address with my married name a while back (we aren't getting married until the fall) because I have a super common Irish first name (and last name...there are tons of "me"s out there) and FI also has a very common Irish last name so I wanted to get the email address before someone else took it. But I don't use it yet because that would be weird.

I also did this, but it wasn't like anyone knew about it.

ashleyep · May 2014

NYCBruin said:

Super weird, I'm judging.

That said, I did "reserve" an email address with my married name a while back (we aren't getting married until the fall) because I have a super common Irish first name (and last name...there are tons of "me"s out there) and FI also has a very common Irish last name so I wanted to get the email address before someone else took it. But I don't use it yet because that would be weird.

My too! I have a perfect firstname.lastname email and I won't be able to get one with FI's common 4-letter Irish last name. I ended up having to settle for [first].[my middle initial][my maiden name initial].[his last name].

Le sigh.

That being said, I don't use the email address. I might not even use it once we get married (or I'll use a combination of the two).

APDSS22 · May 2014

NYCBruin said:

Super weird, I'm judging.

That said, I did "reserve" an email address with my married name a while back (we aren't getting married until the fall) because I have a super common Irish first name (and last name...there are tons of "me"s out there) and FI also has a very common Irish last name so I wanted to get the email address before someone else took it. But I don't use it yet because that would be weird.

I confess to doing that too. It was pretty much the only "H's last name is MY name....mine." moment I had, but I didn't use it for anything until we got married and I legally changed my name.

My FB friend getting married in a couple weeks keeps posting about how awesome her life will be when she's MRS. FianceLastName. It's very mushy.

misshart00 · May 2014

I could never get an email address with my maiden name because I had the same name as a porn star. And my married last name is extremely common.

Jen4948 · May 2014

It's weird to me, but it's also a victimless crime unless she had a PPD.

Peaseblossom55 · May 2014

It's weird to me and I feel like being judgey.

I have this one friend who refers to me in email or snail mail as the future Mrs...... it's annoying more than anything. Ah I didn't even think about reserving an email address with my new married name. FI's sister has the same name as me and hasn't changed her last name to her married name so she probably has it....

Simply Fated · May 2014

Can you legally change your name before you're married? Maybe that's what she did, but I doubt it.

I hate the terms hubby and wifey. Especially when said by high schoolers.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

Simply Fated said:
Can you legally change your name before you're married? Maybe that's what she did, but I doubt it.

I hate the terms hubby and wifey. Especially when said by high schoolers.

Not in PA, at least not without a court order.

It doesn't affect me at all, but the comments she's getting on her FB are hiLARious. People are confused and she's being defensive, and her FI/DH is being all like, 'she's my wife, leave her alone!'

His mother weighed in and was like, 'Is there something you two want to tell us?'

hikebikebemerry · May 2014

I never thought of my last name as "uncommon" - but now I'm realizing that it is.

FI's last name is fairly common. And by random chance his grandmother (not bio-granny) and aunt have the same first name as me.

The biggest thing for me in all of this is that prior to reading this thread- I didn't realize how hard it would be to get an e-mail with my married name! And hikebikebemerry.maidenname.marriedname@magicalsparkles.net would be too long.

To the original topic- I totally think that stuff is awkward. As excited as I am to become a family with FI, I am enjoying this time being engaged. I think part of me just gets really sad when people don't enjoy where they are at that point in their life.

phira · May 2014

Simply Fated said:

Can you legally change your name before you're married? Maybe that's what she did, but I doubt it. I hate the terms hubby and wifey. Especially when said by high schoolers.

I mean, you can legally change your name to whatever you want to change your name to, but it's a different process if you're getting married. And the process is different, region to region.

The only person who's ever called me wifey was a friend from college, who called me that because I was her friend's girlfriend. If my partner starts calling me wifey, I'm going to give him the most epic death glare I have in my arsenal.

CamiSelene · May 2014

TexasBride2014 said:

I think it's strange to say the least. My friend's fiance (now wife) did that months before their wedding. It was made even more awkward (although friggin hilarious) when she posted a status about "Marrying XXX in 2 weeks" and someone asked if she was marrying her cousin. Her reply was an indignant "No I just changed it to see how it looked"....um what?

SITDB

Hahaha, what a lame excuse.... I'll admit, I was curious about what my new name would look like so I wrote it on a piece of paper and threw it out after. Lol, it's just weird to post it on the internet for everyone to see that you are acting like a giddy 12 year old girl. I may be that way sometimes but I keep that shit to myself (and the bestie... haha)

misshart00 · May 2014

CamiSelene said:

TexasBride2014 said:

I think it's strange to say the least. My friend's fiance (now wife) did that months before their wedding. It was made even more awkward (although friggin hilarious) when she posted a status about "Marrying XXX in 2 weeks" and someone asked if she was marrying her cousin. Her reply was an indignant "No I just changed it to see how it looked"....um what?

SITDB

Hahaha, what a lame excuse.... I'll admit, I was curious about what my new name would look like so I wrote it on a piece of paper and threw it out after. Lol, it's just weird to post it on the internet for everyone to see that you are acting like a giddy 12 year old girl. I may be that way sometimes but I keep that shit to myself (and the bestie... haha)

I'll be honest. I was definitely 13 when I got engaged. I wrote my new name out on things. But never on anything other people would see and definitely not online.

Jen4948 · May 2014

Simply Fated said:

Can you legally change your name before you're married? Maybe that's what she did, but I doubt it. I hate the terms hubby and wifey. Especially when said by high schoolers.

There's a Judy Blume novel, one of her few for adults, called "Wifey."

AlexaF2014 · May 2014

I'll be honest, at home FI calls me "wi-fu" as a joke. Typically, it's when he's "lost" something and when I know where it is, he calls it my "wi-fu powers" (like, kung-fu? IDK). But, no, I would never call myself by his last name, let alone change it on FB. Seems really immature and I would side-eye it (like those little teenagers who get "facebook married" to their bestie ZOMG ROTFL LOL #hashtag) No. Stop.

Aray82 · May 2014

No, that's weird, PPD or not. I even thought it was weird when my cousin changed her last name on facebook IMMEDIATELY after the ceremony (we had the "Catholic gap" so we went back to the hotel room for a bit and that's when my sister checked her fb and saw it:P )

selenathegreat · May 2014

AlexaF2014 said:
like those little teenagers who get "facebook married" to their bestie ZOMG ROTFL LOL #hashtag)
No. Stop.

Full disclosure, I did this is college when FB was brand new and there were no adults or employers on it.

Not changing my name, but if I were I wouldn't change anything beforehand. I always correct people if they call FH my husband. I am looking forward to changing that FB status.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

selenathegreat said:

like those little teenagers who get "facebook married" to their bestie ZOMG ROTFL LOL #hashtag) No. Stop.
Full disclosure, I did this is college when FB was brand new and there were no adults or employers on it. Not changing my name, but if I were I wouldn't change anything beforehand. I always correct people if they call FH my husband. I am looking forward to changing that FB status.

I had to stop correcting people when they called FH my husband. I was at a cousin's wedding in Brazil and someone asked where my husband was. (He was at the bar, obviously.) But my first response was that he's not my husband, we're not married. They asked if we live together. I said yes. They said, "then he's your husband." Ok. Brazil is a culture where people live in their parents' home until they get married, even into their late 30s like my cousins. They don't really have rental apartments, so you pretty much need to have two incomes and be settled into a career to afford to buy a home. And I don't know if the legal benefits have anything to do with it, but in the eyes of everyone I know in Brazil, I've been married for a while now.

beethery · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Can you legally change your name before you're married? Maybe that's what she did, but I doubt it. I hate the terms hubby and wifey. Especially when said by high schoolers.
Not in PA, at least not without a court order. It doesn't affect me at all, but the comments she's getting on her FB are hiLARious. People are confused and she's being defensive, and her FI/DH is being all like, 'she's my wife, leave her alone!' His mother weighed in and was like, 'Is there something you two want to tell us?'

Oh my god please keep us updated hahahahahahaaaaa

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

According to my alumni association info, I'm already married. Someone called to update my information and I told them I was getting married in June, and they must have changed it to married. Whatever, it's not like anyone sees that anyway.

As for the name on facebook, yeah it's weird, but it's a victim-less crime. People sometimes don't even use their last name, just first middle.

CamiSelene · May 2014

Okay, well actually I do go by my future name in one case right now. I am currently in the process of changing school divisions for the next school year since I will be moving to FI's community. My new school has me written down as "Mrs. FI's lastname" on various things like our timetables/supervision schedule/classroom list but a) it was my principal-to-be's doing and b) it limit's confusion for my student's-to-be since they are very young and by the time the new school year starts up and I begin working there, I will have been married for a month and my name will be changed. That is my only exception.

adverb1129 · May 2014

A friend of a friend recently updated her Facebook to say she married this guy that I've never heard of. I'm not that close to her but I can't tell if it's just a joke. If you do the "view relationship" thing it says they met like a week before they updated FB to married.

She's kind of a kook so maybe?

Rebl90 · May 2014

Ugh, I judge that hard. We had friends that got married a week after our invites went out so I addressed it Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. Well it came back (the day before the wedding) as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". I love them dearly and I know for a fact they didn't have a PPD, but I did roll my eyes a bit. Oh, and a friend getting married in 2016 just got the kate spade "MRS" necklace as a college graduation present. I really hope she can keep it in the box for the next 2 years.

rajahmd · May 2014

Here's kind of an opposite weird thing. A FB friend of mine recently had a 1 year vow renewal (pretty much a PPD, though by the time the event came around people knew they were married). She didn't change her name or marital status on FB until after the vow renewal. But she apparently considered herself married enough to get benefits from her husband being in the military.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

Rebl90 said:

Ugh, I judge that hard. We had friends that got married a week after our invites went out so I addressed it Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. Well it came back (the day before the wedding) as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". I love them dearly and I know for a fact they didn't have a PPD, but I did roll my eyes a bit. Oh, and a friend getting married in 2016 just got the kate spade "MRS" necklace as a college graduation present. I really hope she can keep it in the box for the next 2 years.

There is nothing wrong with this. They will be married at your wedding, and that's how they want to be referred to on their escort card. If they waited until the day after their wedding, you wouldn't have cared. Why are you looking for things to snark at?

NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

Re: NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

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