Having people write their addresses for their own thank you cards at the wedding

beethery · May 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

Also, no one wants their thank you note addressed to them in their own handwriting. This isn't a dental appointment reminder.

I have gotten things like that and gotten VERY CONFUSED. Mostly because I read them in the morning and was like, "Did I send myself mail from the future????" or, "This handwriting is atrocious, did they let a partially-trained squirrel write this? What happened?"

Maggie0829 · May 2014

thisismynickname said:

MagicInk said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Also, no one wants their thank you note addressed to them in their own handwriting. This isn't a dental appointment reminder.

Your dentist makes you address your own appointment reminders? Mine addresses it for me. Well, it's printed on there. I'm assuming there some kind of mail merge that happens.

Actually, there's a psychology at work there when you address your own dental reminder. You're actively making a commitment to show up on x date and offices that do this have seen reduced cancellations. Neato!

My gynos office does this but my dentists off has gone completely electronic and just sends me reminder text messages where I confirm the appointment by sending a text back.

misshart00 · May 2014

I get no reminders! Clearly I need to switch all my doctors.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

Maggie0829 said:

thisismynickname said:

MagicInk said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Also, no one wants their thank you note addressed to them in their own handwriting. This isn't a dental appointment reminder.

Your dentist makes you address your own appointment reminders? Mine addresses it for me. Well, it's printed on there. I'm assuming there some kind of mail merge that happens.

Actually, there's a psychology at work there when you address your own dental reminder. You're actively making a commitment to show up on x date and offices that do this have seen reduced cancellations. Neato!

My gynos office does this but my dentists off has gone completely electronic and just sends me reminder text messages where I confirm the appointment by sending a text back.

I want my dentist to that. Actually I want all my doctors and any other appointments I might have to do that!

cupcait927 · May 2014

Maggie0829 said:

thisismynickname said:

MagicInk said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Also, no one wants their thank you note addressed to them in their own handwriting. This isn't a dental appointment reminder.

Your dentist makes you address your own appointment reminders? Mine addresses it for me. Well, it's printed on there. I'm assuming there some kind of mail merge that happens.

Actually, there's a psychology at work there when you address your own dental reminder. You're actively making a commitment to show up on x date and offices that do this have seen reduced cancellations. Neato!

My gynos office does this but my dentists off has gone completely electronic and just sends me reminder text messages where I confirm the appointment by sending a text back.

My dentist does the text message thing too. It's the best. FI got very confused by it and called the dentist office to make sure it was really them sending it. He's kind of an old man sometimes.

SmileDamnit · May 2014

I've got nothing to add to the true discussion at hand, but I do feel the need to admit that I haven't been to the dentist in about 3 years.

Walking away in shame....

phira · May 2014

beethery said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Also, no one wants their thank you note addressed to them in their own handwriting. This isn't a dental appointment reminder.

I have gotten things like that and gotten VERY CONFUSED. Mostly because I read them in the morning and was like, "Did I send myself mail from the future????" or, "This handwriting is atrocious, did they let a partially-trained squirrel write this? What happened?"

YES this is my reaction when this happens!

Jen4948 · May 2014

taragal said:

taragal said:

Fair enough! Thanks!

I've never been married. I don't know ANYTHING about weddings (obviously) and I asked this question to get feedback coming from a place of no experience of wedding etiquette. - not to be scrutinized. I saw a picture or two of a cute set up where they had people do this and thought I would ask the question.Thank you for making it clear that I can probably never post on this blog again.

I get it. Thanks.

You can still post here!

We do advise lurking and finding out if there have been any similar questions asked in previous threads before posting one of your own. Had you done so, you might have found out two things:

1) Most of us find that those "cute" pictures portray situations that do breach etiquette. This being an etiquette board, we can't and don't condone doing what's being done in those pictures.

2) This question has been asked about shower and other party activities before, and the answer there has always been that it's not appropriate to make guests fill out the envelopes for their own thank-you notes. A wedding being a much bigger event than a shower would suggest that such an activity taking place at a wedding would be a more egregious breach of etiquette.

Sorry if you didn't get the answers you were looking for, but no one set out to deliberately hurt your feelings.

manateehugger · May 2014

OP, keep posting. I would say a decent percentage of us got our bums slapped by the community in the beginning because we posted a silly question or bad idea we found elsewhere on the interwebs. You posted, got small bum-slapping, and took the advice. Perfect until you freaked out. Just keep posting and lurking, and you'll figure out.

And as for the continued posting after you took the advice - some people don't read the thread, some people don't get the thread refreshed in time, and some people just want to comment on what another commentator said.

KatieinBkln · May 2014

Yeah, I find there's a natural point in any given thread where it ceases to really be about the OP, and turns into a general discussion of the issue at hand where people share related horror stories...or somehow devolve (*evolve?) into talking about wine. Don't sweat it!

MairePoppy · May 2014

Did someone say wine?

cupcait927 · May 2014

SmileDamnit said:

I've got nothing to add to the true discussion at hand, but I do feel the need to admit that I haven't been to the dentist in about 3 years.

Walking away in shame....

I hadn't gone in 6 years. Horribly afraid. FI finally got me going to his dentist last September (the dentist amazing and the office even sent me flowers on Monday. True story) . I had 6 cavities and I've now been to the dentist 6 times in 6 months. Don't be me!

Inkdancer · May 2014

ckel24 said:

SmileDamnit said:

I've got nothing to add to the true discussion at hand, but I do feel the need to admit that I haven't been to the dentist in about 3 years.

Walking away in shame....

I hadn't gone in 6 years. Horribly afraid. FI finally got me going to his dentist last September (the dentist amazing and the office even sent me flowers on Monday. True story) . I had 6 cavities and I've now been to the dentist 6 times in 6 months. Don't be me!

Wow! I would be so miserable. I'm so terrified of getting a cavity that I brush obsessively. I've never had a filling ever.

This morning my hygienist told me I was the shortest cleaning she's ever done. Also for 3 visits in a row they've said "good job on the flossing".

cupcait927 · May 2014

Inkdancer said:

ckel24 said:

SmileDamnit said:

I've got nothing to add to the true discussion at hand, but I do feel the need to admit that I haven't been to the dentist in about 3 years.

Walking away in shame....

I hadn't gone in 6 years. Horribly afraid. FI finally got me going to his dentist last September (the dentist amazing and the office even sent me flowers on Monday. True story) . I had 6 cavities and I've now been to the dentist 6 times in 6 months. Don't be me!

Wow! I would be so miserable. I'm so terrified of getting a cavity that I brush obsessively. I've never had a filling ever.

This morning my hygienist told me I was the shortest cleaning she's ever done. Also for 3 visits in a row they've said "good job on the flossing".

It isn't fun, to say the least. But they get me good and high on nitrous oxide so I can at least tolerate it now. Hopefully these are the last I'll ever have because I'm never going to skip another appointment again. And I've even started flossing on a semi-regular basis (baby steps here).

phira · May 2014

I didn't go to the dentist for 3 years, and when I finally went, they didn't believe I hadn't been in so long. I got really lucky.

Although, the hygienist thought I had three tiny cavities based on the x-rays and then when she went poking around, she said there weren't any, it was just a false positive on the x-rays because my teeth are weird. But since the doctor wasn't in (I had a Saturday appointment and they neglected to inform me that I was going to have to miss work to go back and have the doctor examine me), I never found out for real.

Kauris · May 2014

Wine, wine, wine wine wine!!

Maggie0829 · May 2014

ckel24 said:

SmileDamnit said:

I've got nothing to add to the true discussion at hand, but I do feel the need to admit that I haven't been to the dentist in about 3 years.

Walking away in shame....

I hadn't gone in 6 years. Horribly afraid. FI finally got me going to his dentist last September (the dentist amazing and the office even sent me flowers on Monday. True story) . I had 6 cavities and I've now been to the dentist 6 times in 6 months. Don't be me!

And that is why I have been trying to get H to go for years, but he won't. And what is really frustrating is his Mom used to be a hygentist so you would think she would help me to get him to go, but no.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

All my doctors/dentists are electronic now too. My dentist used to make you write out your own appointment reminder, but now they email, text and call. I got it, don't worry I put it in my calender when I made the appointment.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

ckel24 said:

Maggie0829 said:

thisismynickname said:

MagicInk said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Also, no one wants their thank you note addressed to them in their own handwriting. This isn't a dental appointment reminder.

Your dentist makes you address your own appointment reminders? Mine addresses it for me. Well, it's printed on there. I'm assuming there some kind of mail merge that happens.

Actually, there's a psychology at work there when you address your own dental reminder. You're actively making a commitment to show up on x date and offices that do this have seen reduced cancellations. Neato!

My gynos office does this but my dentists off has gone completely electronic and just sends me reminder text messages where I confirm the appointment by sending a text back.

My dentist does the text message thing too. It's the best. FI got very confused by it and called the dentist office to make sure it was really them sending it. He's kind of an old man sometimes.

My FI is an old man too. He doesn't online bank, and he doesn't pay his bills online.

When we get married, I'm taking control of those things.

crunchymamaof2 · May 2014

ckel24 said:

Inkdancer said:

ckel24 said:

SmileDamnit said:

I've got nothing to add to the true discussion at hand, but I do feel the need to admit that I haven't been to the dentist in about 3 years.

Walking away in shame....

I hadn't gone in 6 years. Horribly afraid. FI finally got me going to his dentist last September (the dentist amazing and the office even sent me flowers on Monday. True story) . I had 6 cavities and I've now been to the dentist 6 times in 6 months. Don't be me!

Wow! I would be so miserable. I'm so terrified of getting a cavity that I brush obsessively. I've never had a filling ever.

This morning my hygienist told me I was the shortest cleaning she's ever done. Also for 3 visits in a row they've said "good job on the flossing".

It isn't fun, to say the least. But they get me good and high on nitrous oxide so I can at least tolerate it now. Hopefully these are the last I'll ever have because I'm never going to skip another appointment again. And I've even started flossing on a semi-regular basis (baby steps here).

Ooooo I can share a go to the dentist PSA! I wasn't able to go for a couple of years due to insurance and then when we got insurance it only covered cleanings, exams, and extractions. A medication I take causes dry mouth which can lead to cavities....and I had an irrational fear of flossing. I think I had like 10 cavities, 3 being pretty bad but we couldn't afford fillings.now that fillings are covered it was too late. I had one tooth out yesterday and will probably need 3 more. Plus the small fillings. Brush your teeth knotties!!!

yogablossom · May 2014

There's nothing more personal and thoughtful than a handwritten letter with a personally addressed envelope. These people took the time to come to your wedding and probably even give you a decent wedding gift. The LEAST you can do is the address the envelopes yourself. Its takes what...and extra 30 seconds to address an envelope after writing a letter? Especially since you will already have the addresses.

adverb1129 · May 2014

Everyone has already answered this but I just wanted to add that we had a guest book at our wedding and lots of people missed out on it. I think it's dangerous to rely on your guests to do most anything other than have a good time (hopefully).

You can totally tell in our guest book where the second wave of then-drunk guests found it. It's a funny testimony to an incredible day but not at all reliable so I don't think having people address their own envelopes would even work logistically.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

yogablossom said:
There's nothing more personal and thoughtful than a handwritten letter with a personally addressed envelope. These people took the time to come to your wedding and probably even give you a decent wedding gift. The LEAST you can do is the address the envelopes yourself. Its takes what...and extra 30 seconds to address an envelope after writing a letter? Especially since you will already have the addresses.

I'm considering addressing the thank you envelopes at the same time I address the invitations. I'll have the list out and be in writing mode, so might as well. They'll be ready to go then when it's time to write the notes. I have extras so it won't be a huge waste if someone doesn't end up bringing a gift.

ShesSoCold · May 2014

lolo883 said:

There's nothing more personal and thoughtful than a handwritten letter with a personally addressed envelope. These people took the time to come to your wedding and probably even give you a decent wedding gift. The LEAST you can do is the address the envelopes yourself. Its takes what...and extra 30 seconds to address an envelope after writing a letter? Especially since you will already have the addresses.
I'm considering addressing the thank you envelopes at the same time I address the invitations. I'll have the list out and be in writing mode, so might as well. They'll be ready to go then when it's time to write the notes. I have extras so it won't be a huge waste if someone doesn't end up bringing a gift.

That's a pretty brilliant idea.

KPBM89 · May 2014

lolo883 said:

There's nothing more personal and thoughtful than a handwritten letter with a personally addressed envelope. These people took the time to come to your wedding and probably even give you a decent wedding gift. The LEAST you can do is the address the envelopes yourself. Its takes what...and extra 30 seconds to address an envelope after writing a letter? Especially since you will already have the addresses.
I'm considering addressing the thank you envelopes at the same time I address the invitations. I'll have the list out and be in writing mode, so might as well. They'll be ready to go then when it's time to write the notes. I have extras so it won't be a huge waste if someone doesn't end up bringing a gift.

I've been doing this! I guarantee my post-wedding self will love my current self for doing this. I already have about a third of our invites done, as well as thank you envelopes. And if people don't bring a gift, ehh it's just an envelope.

beethery · May 2014

lolo883 said:
I'm considering addressing the thank you envelopes at the same time I address the invitations. I'll have the list out and be in writing mode, so might as well. They'll be ready to go then when it's time to write the notes. I have extras so it won't be a huge waste if someone doesn't end up bringing a gift.

That is an excellent plan. If you don't already have a typed-up list, you could type the addresses into a google sheet as you write them on the invitations. That way you have them for the future!

JCbride2015 · May 2014

crunchymamaof2 said:

ckel24 said:

Inkdancer said:

ckel24 said:

SmileDamnit said:

I've got nothing to add to the true discussion at hand, but I do feel the need to admit that I haven't been to the dentist in about 3 years.

Walking away in shame....

I hadn't gone in 6 years. Horribly afraid. FI finally got me going to his dentist last September (the dentist amazing and the office even sent me flowers on Monday. True story) . I had 6 cavities and I've now been to the dentist 6 times in 6 months. Don't be me!

Wow! I would be so miserable. I'm so terrified of getting a cavity that I brush obsessively. I've never had a filling ever.

This morning my hygienist told me I was the shortest cleaning she's ever done. Also for 3 visits in a row they've said "good job on the flossing".

It isn't fun, to say the least. But they get me good and high on nitrous oxide so I can at least tolerate it now. Hopefully these are the last I'll ever have because I'm never going to skip another appointment again. And I've even started flossing on a semi-regular basis (baby steps here).

Ooooo I can share a go to the dentist PSA! I wasn't able to go for a couple of years due to insurance and then when we got insurance it only covered cleanings, exams, and extractions. A medication I take causes dry mouth which can lead to cavities....and I had an irrational fear of flossing. I think I had like 10 cavities, 3 being pretty bad but we couldn't afford fillings.now that fillings are covered it was too late. I had one tooth out yesterday and will probably need 3 more. Plus the small fillings. Brush your teeth knotties!!!

Uggghhhh I'm another go-to-the-dentist PSA. I lacked dental insurance for three-ish years. But my sister's a hygienist, so I always had really good hygiene practices and very clean teeth. Finally I got insurance and went to the dentist.

Well, the dental hygienist said my teeth were beautiful, she would never know I hadn't been, it wasn't even a tough cleaning for her. So far, so good.

Then they took the X-rays and it turns out I have root resorption in two teeth, from damage caused by by braces I had 8 years ago. If I had gone earlier, they could have delayed it although not reversed it. Now I need to have my two front teeth out and get implants. It's going to be $$$$.

Go to the dentist, friends!

ab6704a · May 2014

lalalaurita said:

Yet another bad idea perpetuated by Pinterest.

Yup. The friends who planned my shower did this (without my knowledge). When I showed up most of the guests had already filled out the envelopes. I was so embarassed.

cupcait927 · May 2014

@JCBride2015 I had damage done to my front tooth by my braces as well! I had them when I was 13 to 15 and during that time, I noticed my front tooth turning gray. Well, I get my braces off only to find out that I need a root canal. The orthodontist SWORE that the braces couldn't have done it, that I must've had some sort of trauma to my face/teeth that caused it. Fairly certain I would've remembered getting hit in the face or something bashing my teeth so I know that wasn't the case. Funny enough, I've talked to so many people in the 10+ years since I had to have my root canal that said they also had similar type damage done to their teeth by braces.

climbingsingle · May 2014

Peeps - I also have not been to the dentist in YEARS. Ay yi yi. I'm terrified. FI is making me go this month. I told him he's going to have to drive me there and walk me in. He can't even drive me and drop me off, because I'll fucking hide in the bushes and just wait for him to come back.

Also, my gyno is the only doctor that sends me a reminder. I get a giant postcard that says Xxxxx OB/GYN - COME BACK NOW. I think it's fantastic that my mail carrier gets to find out when my gyno appointments are.

Having people write their addresses for their own thank you cards at the wedding

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