NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

CamiSelene · May 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

Rebl90 said:

Ugh, I judge that hard. We had friends that got married a week after our invites went out so I addressed it Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. Well it came back (the day before the wedding) as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". I love them dearly and I know for a fact they didn't have a PPD, but I did roll my eyes a bit. Oh, and a friend getting married in 2016 just got the kate spade "MRS" necklace as a college graduation present. I really hope she can keep it in the box for the next 2 years.

There is nothing wrong with this. They will be married at your wedding, and that's how they want to be referred to on their escort card. If they waited until the day after their wedding, you wouldn't have cared. Why are you looking for things to snark at?

I agree with @huskypuppy14. FI had some family friends rsvp as "Mr. and Mrs. X" because she figured they would be married by the time of the wedding (they're planning to elope but aren't sure when. It will probably be a random thing)

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

CamiSelene said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Rebl90 said:

Ugh, I judge that hard. We had friends that got married a week after our invites went out so I addressed it Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. Well it came back (the day before the wedding) as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". I love them dearly and I know for a fact they didn't have a PPD, but I did roll my eyes a bit.

Oh, and a friend getting married in 2016 just got the kate spade "MRS" necklace as a college graduation present. I really hope she can keep it in the box for the next 2 years.

There is nothing wrong with this. They will be married at your wedding, and that's how they want to be referred to on their escort card. If they waited until the day after their wedding, you wouldn't have cared. Why are you looking for things to snark at?

I agree with @huskypuppy14. FI had some family friends rsvp as "Mr. and Mrs. X" because she figured they would be married by the time of the wedding (they're planning to elope but aren't sure when. It will probably be a random thing)

Was thinking the same thing. We talk all the time about being unsure of how to refer to couples on escort cards...this made it easy to know she goes by Mrs. Hisname.

freebread03 · May 2014

Rebl90 said:

Ugh, I judge that hard. We had friends that got married a week after our invites went out so I addressed it Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. Well it came back (the day before the wedding) as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". I love them dearly and I know for a fact they didn't have a PPD, but I did roll my eyes a bit. Oh, and a friend getting married in 2016 just got the kate spade "MRS" necklace as a college graduation present. I really hope she can keep it in the box for the next 2 years.

So, because they weren't married when your invites went out, you roll your eyes at calling them Mr. and Mrs. for the purposes of your wedding?

KPBM89 · May 2014

I think that's a little part of the fun of actually getting married is seeing your new name if you're changing it. I don't want to change anything ahead of time: I wanna reserve that fun for after! The only thing I have that already has my married name, well my married last initial, is a monogram decal on my car. And I only did that because I sell monogram decals and needed to make an instructions sheet and wanted to use real photos. I didn't want to waste vinyl on my current last initial when our wedding is in less than 3 months now.

Friends have given me "Mrs." things that I'm saving for the wedding day/ after because...well, that's the point!

Also, I addressed FBIL's invite to Mr. and Mrs. FBIL FBILlastname, even though they won't be married for another month and a half. By the time we're married (and also by the final date the RSVP is due), they will already have tied the knot.

trulymarvelous · May 2014

Still a bit of a newbie here... What does NER stand for?

wrigleyville · May 2014

nellesaur said:

Still a bit of a newbie here... What does NER stand for?

Not Etiquette Related

You'll also see "NWR", which is "Not Wedding Related".

trulymarvelous · May 2014

Ah! Thanks. I got NWR but was scratching my head over this one

[Deleted User] · May 2014

Rebl90 said:

Ugh, I judge that hard. We had friends that got married a week after our invites went out so I addressed it Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. Well it came back (the day before the wedding) as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". I love them dearly and I know for a fact they didn't have a PPD, but I did roll my eyes a bit. Oh, and a friend getting married in 2016 just got the kate spade "MRS" necklace as a college graduation present. I really hope she can keep it in the box for the next 2 years.

Good luck on that- I just got that necklace for my birthday in May- wedding is in August and I refuse to wear it before my reception but that doesn't mean I don't want to...

Marzipan13 · May 2014

CamiSelene said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Rebl90 said:

Ugh, I judge that hard. We had friends that got married a week after our invites went out so I addressed it Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. Well it came back (the day before the wedding) as "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". I love them dearly and I know for a fact they didn't have a PPD, but I did roll my eyes a bit. Oh, and a friend getting married in 2016 just got the kate spade "MRS" necklace as a college graduation present. I really hope she can keep it in the box for the next 2 years.

There is nothing wrong with this. They will be married at your wedding, and that's how they want to be referred to on their escort card. If they waited until the day after their wedding, you wouldn't have cared. Why are you looking for things to snark at?

I agree with @huskypuppy14. FI had some family friends rsvp as "Mr. and Mrs. X" because she figured they would be married by the time of the wedding (they're planning to elope but aren't sure when. It will probably be a random thing)

I actually waited (without holding up sending out invitations, I should add) to address one of FI's cousin's invitations. They got married in April (invites go out in July), but I waited to put "Mr. & Mrs. FI'sCousin" until their ceremony was actually over, and she actually changed her name on facebook, etc etc etc. One can never be too cautious... or may I'm just paranoid...

JennyColada · May 2014

I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"

rajahmd · May 2014

JennyColada said:
I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"

As to that last part, that's seriously judgmental. People can go by their married name socially (Ie on Facebook) before they go change their name legally. And they certainly don't have to wait for the license to be filed. Changing their name right after their wedding isn'isn't a fake name- get over yourself.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

JennyColada said:
I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"

I changed my name on FB the morning after our wedding. Our licence hadn't been filed (state holiday; government closed), but in the eyes of my chuech, I was married.

I don't judge people who change their names/status right after marriage at all. They're married, even if the ink isn't dry on the licence yet.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

Also, some woman don't legally change their names but socially go by their husbands last name. Facebook is a social network, therefore it's up to each person which name they prefer on their page.

kitsunegari89 · May 2014

http://mizparkermuses.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/blanche.gif

side-eyeing right along with you, OP

karimichele · May 2014

I'm one of those people who doesn't use my last name on FB in the first place. Part of me would like to change it after I get married, but I'm not sure. I know I'll be excited to change my name, but on the other hand there was a good reason I stopped using my name in the first place...

Anyone else not using their maiden name on social media?

emmaaa · May 2014

princesssilver said:

I'm one of those people who doesn't use my last name on FB in the first place. Part of me would like to change it after I get married, but I'm not sure. I know I'll be excited to change my name, but on the other hand there was a good reason I stopped using my name in the first place...

Anyone else not using their maiden name on social media?

I use my maiden name on social media right now. After the wedding I will change it to FirstName FIsLastName because I'm dropping my maiden name completely.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

phira said:

Simply Fated said:

Can you legally change your name before you're married? Maybe that's what she did, but I doubt it. I hate the terms hubby and wifey. Especially when said by high schoolers.

I mean, you can legally change your name to whatever you want to change your name to, but it's a different process if you're getting married. And the process is different, region to region.

The only person who's ever called me wifey was a friend from college, who called me that because I was her friend's girlfriend. If my partner starts calling me wifey, I'm going to give him the most epic death glare I have in my arsenal.

Meh, Hubby doesn't bother me.

FI calls me Ribby sometimes because of that biblical reference where God created Eve from Adam's rib so that she would be his equal partner in life. I think it's cute.

I told him once we are married I'm gonna call him Chubby Hubby, like the Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor. . . he wasn't a fan, lol. Not that he is chubby and I was being rude, but he just wasn't a fan.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:
Meh, Hubby doesn't bother me.

FI calls me Ribby sometimes because of that biblical reference where God created Eve from Adam's rib so that she would be his equal partner in life. I think it's cute.

I told him once we are married I'm gonna call him Chubby Hubby, like the Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor. . . he wasn't a fan, lol. Not that he is chubby and I was being rude, but he just wasn't a fan.

I call people "hubbyman" sometimes. Like when FI sent me flowers which inevitably got Instagramed, the caption was something like "I have the bestest future hubbyman!" I told my sister she had an wonderful hubbyman when he planned her a superawesome birthday surprise. Ribby is pretty adorable.

(Clearly my pattern of communication is pretty juvenile to begin with, and I give zero fucks if anyone judges it. Whatevs.)

DaisyMaeMommy · May 2014

JennyColada said:

I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"

Seriously? What business is it of your's to judge someone for changing their name on Facebook before their papers are filed? They are MARRIED.

And because I'm a HUGE Leo fan...

cupcait927 · May 2014

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
Meh, Hubby doesn't bother me.

FI calls me Ribby sometimes because of that biblical reference where God created Eve from Adam's rib so that she would be his equal partner in life. I think it's cute.

I told him once we are married I'm gonna call him Chubby Hubby, like the Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor. . . he wasn't a fan, lol. Not that he is chubby and I was being rude, but he just wasn't a fan.

I call people "hubbyman" sometimes. Like when FI sent me flowers which inevitably got Instagramed, the caption was something like "I have the bestest future hubbyman!" I told my sister she had an wonderful hubbyman when he planned her a superawesome birthday surprise. Ribby is pretty adorable.

(Clearly my pattern of communication is pretty juvenile to begin with, and I give zero fucks if anyone judges it. Whatevs.)

I was reading Buzzfeed last night and stumbled across the names of Popeye's nephews. One of them is Poopeye. Let's just FI has a new nickname that he's not happy about and I think is hilarious. Don't like hubby but I'm totally cool with Poopeye. Sometimes I'm a 12 year old boy.

JennyColada · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

JennyColada said:
I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"
I changed my name on FB the morning after our wedding. Our licence hadn't been filed (state holiday; government closed), but in the eyes of my chuech, I was married.

I don't judge people who change their names/status right after marriage at all. They're married, even if the ink isn't dry on the licence yet.

---
I think it bugs me more because many people I know waited 6 months (one girl upwards of a year) to legally change her name.

I also know at least a dozen people with stage names on FB.

But I suppose there's no actual reason for it bothering me so much, it just does.

misshart00 · May 2014

JennyColada said:

I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"
I changed my name on FB the morning after our wedding. Our licence hadn't been filed (state holiday; government closed), but in the eyes of my chuech, I was married. I don't judge people who change their names/status right after marriage at all. They're married, even if the ink isn't dry on the licence yet.
--- I think it bugs me more because many people I know waited 6 months (one girl upwards of a year) to legally change her name. I also know at least a dozen people with stage names on FB. But I suppose there's no actual reason for it bothering me so much, it just does.

I waited 9 months after my wedding to change my SS card. Everything else was already in married name less than two week after the wedding. When should I have changed it on Facebook?

rajahmd · May 2014

JennyColada said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

JennyColada said:
I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"
I changed my name on FB the morning after our wedding. Our licence hadn't been filed (state holiday; government closed), but in the eyes of my chuech, I was married.

I don't judge people who change their names/status right after marriage at all. They're married, even if the ink isn't dry on the licence yet.
---
I think it bugs me more because many people I know waited 6 months (one girl upwards of a year) to legally change her name.

I also know at least a dozen people with stage names on FB.

But I suppose there's no actual reason for it bothering me so much, it just does.

And again, people can go by a different name socially than they do legally. It's certainly much easier to change your name on FB than it is legally. Why do you freaking care how long it takes someone to change their name legally?

JennyColada · May 2014

RajahBMFD said:

JennyColada said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

JennyColada said:
I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"
I changed my name on FB the morning after our wedding. Our licence hadn't been filed (state holiday; government closed), but in the eyes of my chuech, I was married.

I don't judge people who change their names/status right after marriage at all. They're married, even if the ink isn't dry on the licence yet.
---
I think it bugs me more because many people I know waited 6 months (one girl upwards of a year) to legally change her name.

I also know at least a dozen people with stage names on FB.

But I suppose there's no actual reason for it bothering me so much, it just does.
And again, people can go by a different name socially than they do legally. It's certainly much easier to change your name on FB than it is legally. Why do you freaking care how long it takes someone to change their name legally?

I wouldn't say that I really "care", I'm hardly stoping anyone from doing what they want and would never berate someone for doing so.

They can change their name or not for all it matters to me. It's their name. It's just not something that I like, and I make my own choices accordingly.

JennyColada · May 2014

misshart00 said:
When should I have changed it on Facebook?

I don't know. I don't recall every implying that I'm the end all be all of FB etiquette. So I don't understand why you're treating me as such.

rajahmd · May 2014

JennyColada said:

RajahBMFD said:

JennyColada said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

JennyColada said:
I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"
I changed my name on FB the morning after our wedding. Our licence hadn't been filed (state holiday; government closed), but in the eyes of my chuech, I was married.

I don't judge people who change their names/status right after marriage at all. They're married, even if the ink isn't dry on the licence yet.
---
I think it bugs me more because many people I know waited 6 months (one girl upwards of a year) to legally change her name.

I also know at least a dozen people with stage names on FB.

But I suppose there's no actual reason for it bothering me so much, it just does.
And again, people can go by a different name socially than they do legally. It's certainly much easier to change your name on FB than it is legally. Why do you freaking care how long it takes someone to change their name legally?

I wouldn't say that I really "care", I'm hardly stoping anyone from doing what they want and would never berate someone for doing so.

They can change their name or not for all it matters to me. It's their name. It's just not something that I like, and I make my own choices accordingly.

You obviously care or you wouldn't have vented about it, including lots of caps.

Just admit you're being judgmental for no absolute reason.

AddieCake · May 2014

JennyColada said:

Our l I think it bugs me more because many people I know waited 6 months (one girl upwards of a year) to legally change her name.

So? I waited a year to change mine legally. Was I supposed to not change my FB name because of that? My husband also proposed to me by changing our FB statuses to engaged. You must judge the shit out of me, huh?

bouncertony · May 2014

I was dating a girl once and one day she changed her Facebook name to "GirlfriendName Bouncer" and started posting "Can't wait to be Mrs. Tony Bouncer" and wedding stuff all up.

Of course...I hadn't proposed to her. And we'd been together 3 weeks. So...crazy, clearly. I had so many friends asking if I'd proposed to her and why hadn't I told anyone, my mom called me asking if I'd gotten married and not told her because she got a friend request from this chick and message that said "It's your daughter in law".

I broke up with her because that's a level of crazy I'm not prepared to deal with.

MuppetOverlord · May 2014

JennyColada said:

I hate when people put fake name on FB. Whether it's Suzy McSlarkles or Susan Jones...that's NOT YOUR NAME. It bugs the heck out of me when people get married and change their FB name the hour later "oh really?! You got to the city office at 7pm on a Sunday?!"
I changed my name on FB the morning after our wedding. Our licence hadn't been filed (state holiday; government closed), but in the eyes of my chuech, I was married. I don't judge people who change their names/status right after marriage at all. They're married, even if the ink isn't dry on the licence yet.
--- I think it bugs me more because many people I know waited 6 months (one girl upwards of a year) to legally change her name. I also know at least a dozen people with stage names on FB. But I suppose there's no actual reason for it bothering me so much, it just does.

Of all the things to have a negative opinion about! Your judgment is unreasonable and frankly, annoying.

rajahmd · May 2014

bouncertony said:
I was dating a girl once and one day she changed her Facebook name to "GirlfriendName Bouncer" and started posting "Can't wait to be Mrs. Tony Bouncer" and wedding stuff all up.

Of course...I hadn't proposed to her. And we'd been together 3 weeks. So...crazy, clearly. I had so many friends asking if I'd proposed to her and why hadn't I told anyone, my mom called me asking if I'd gotten married and not told her because she got a friend request from this chick and message that said "It's your daughter in law".

I broke up with her because that's a level of crazy I'm not prepared to deal with.

Hot damn. Now that I would judge. I gotta know: how did the breakup go?

NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

Re: NER (maybe): Am I just being judgey?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards